>ππ¨π£π₯π¨π π ππ«ππ’πβ
@involuntarilyLulzworthy
β >be me >wake up >realize i'm still alive >night ruined LOLOLOL β
>immolate yourself
>i can't stop WINNING
>got done watching troll christopher nolan's new film "wherein a weathered threshecutioner fresh from the annihilation of a world-ending conflict claws his way across an uncaring sea of stars toward the colony he should have reclaimed cycles ago. every stretch of ocean conspires to keep him from his matesprit, the weird shitty orphan wriggler he is grooming to be his successor, and the throne awaiting him. gods (that are probably not real), monsters (that ARE probably real), cannibalistic freaks, enchantresses, and the cosmos itself all take turns trying to decide whether his legend deserves to end in triumph or as another corpse swallowed by the final frontier" >kind of sucked major nards but i truly do appreciate the theatre staff committing an auditory war crime and blowing out every fucking speaker in a five mile radius just to drown out every last useless waste of genetic material who wouldnt shut the fuck up about there not being enough butt sex going on >most of them died the moment the mono-cular biped cried like a bitch but i was lucky because i brought my headphones LOLOLOL >4/10 troll zendaya should've showed her tits
>scrolling through my dash and i just saw a video that pissed me off so hard >first time i ever seen a hiveless mother fucker with a hive >some of you actually have RIGHTS >you cannot be living like this >smelling fucking FUNKY LOLOLOL
>MORE CHITTR USERS NEED TO THROW THEIR LIVES AWAY >WHILE RECORDING THEMSELVES IN THE PROCESS >WE ARE COMING UP ON ROOKIE FUCKING STATISTICS LADIES AND GERMS LET'S GET THIS SELF-SABOTAGE LOCOMOTIVE MOVING A LITTLE FASTER THAN SCHEDULED >I BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY TO MAKE THE WORST POSSIBLE DECISION WITH RECORD-BREAKING EFFICIENCY >COME ON >THERE ARE PERSONAL LOWS LEFT TO DISCOVER LOLOLOL
>for anyone seeking validation or recognition from the dash right now >know that you're not alone in wanting to be seen >i want you to be seen too >seen as the spineless fucking cuck you are LOLOLOL
>CUCKLORD LOCATED >like flies to a pile of shit lol >every single time man >you losers make it way too fucking easy to call out your desperate-ass kult-whoring
>σ οΌNUKEOUTGLUT20TIMES
[βοΈ its not TH@ bad as s|ums go. Crushgutter is worse. βοΈ]
>i don't need hear a single goddamn word about no SLUSHBUTTER >you live in a city internationally renowned for exactly two things >serving objectively shittier flavordiscs than us and functioning as the promised land for every troll with a feet fetish because the whole place perpetually smells like moldy fucking socks LOLOLOL >outglut is struggle central BABYYY >tfw adversity is our primary export >you WISH your mortality rate even approached ours
[βοΈ @'ight I'm not gonna argue with you this is the funniest rant about either |oca|e I've read in sweeps. βοΈ] [βοΈ Hats off no notes. βοΈ]
>chittr users really do wholeheartedly believe they deserve to live >LOL
they think they detherve to live π€£π€£π thon were on alternia ππ₯
>> uh ye@h duh????? 1'm too good @t be1n me to d1e 1o1 <<
>nobody ask where i've been >just know that i can smell how bitchmade some of you are all the way from my hideyhole LOLOLOL >never speak on my glorious wretched dread empresses again >idgaf about the rest of the caste system & the nuance of rebellion i just really want the tyrians to shatter my fucking pelvic structure
>we are smoking a pack today >IT'S A PRESIDENTIAL CLASS SMOKE
>using this as my official application for consideration when the empress inevitably decides she needs some kind of politically convenient mascot to occasionally keep around to fuck, wheel out for public appearances, and use as a distraction while she's busy committing historically significant atrocities somewhere
>LOLOLOL >ACTUAL REAL LEAK OF DOOMSDAY BUNKER FROM PRESIDENTIAL WHISTLEBLOWER >COUP GOT THIS MAN SWEATING >THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!!! >DOWN WITH TROLLBAMA >RUN ME MY STIMULUS OR YOU DIE MOTHER FUCKER
>haters get enslaved and forced to work the same sweatshops they make OUR empress' (yes OUR) gucci ensemble >get with it or LOLOLOL
>FUCK TROLLBAMA >WELCOME OUR GLORIOUS LEADING DEMONCRAT MEENAH PEIXES >INSURRECTION TONIGHT >STORM THE GREY HOUSE >MAYBE EVEN THE CAPITOL
>some of you deserve to be fatherless
>there are objectively far too many ways to kultfarm on this website >the possibilities are practically infinite >yet somehow the bottomfeeders keep converging on the exact same mass-produced barely legible ass dribble every single time their claws hover over a text box >tfw witnessing an evolutionary bottleneck in real time LOLOLOL >and the WORST part? >can't even pressure them into producing anything genuinely funny because any form of mockery lands with hyper-effective damage against the average zero-impulse-control chudlet thinkpan
MFW WHEN CULLBAIT LOZER CANT EVEN COMPREHEND A ZIMPLE POZT httpz://i.ibb.co/9kFgKMkC/mfw-another-uaf-pozt-v0-n5ewzn5lf7v91.png
WELL MINE IZ LIKE 159 ZO IM BETTER AND ZMARTER AND MORE BAZED TYAN YOU #RATIO #MOGGED #PWNED
>CONTEXT CLUES MOTHER FUCKER >IF CHITTR FAME EASY WHY SO MUCH SLOP DEVELOP A FUNCTIONING CEREBRAL CORTEX AND AT LEAST MASTER THE ART OF SELECTIVE READING SO YOU CAN EXTRACT SOME SEMBLANCE OF MEANING FROM THE PATHETIC HANDFUL OF VERBIAGE YOUR THINKPAN MANAGES TO RETAIN
>i shit you not with this one >be me last night >order troll dominos because i'm starving to death and refuse to pay Big Poppa J's extortionate-ass prices >chain is already an unreliable piece of shit >delivers flavordiscs at roughly the same speed a fat fuck passes a slaughtersphere-sized kidney stone >but hey!!! >deals upon deals upon deals FTW >surely that means something >turns out the discounts exist exclusively to make you feel like a complete fucking idiot for what happens next >WAIT SIX ENTIRE HOURS FOR A HALF-HOUR ESTIMATED DELIVERY >WATCH THE GRUBHUB GUY FULLY TRAVEL TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE FUCKING CITY >WATCH HIM APPARENTLY DECIDE THAT DELIVERING MY FOOD IS SECONDARY TO KICKING IT WITH THE BOYS >TRACKING APP LOOKING LIKE I'M MONITORING A MIGRATORY ANIMAL >finally shows up at my hive with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face >absolutely blasted out of his thinkpan >flavordisc is cold >wings fried harder than his frontal lobe >stood there for a solid ten seconds contemplating whether i should simply evaporate him and his busted-ass scuttlebuggy directly off the face of alternia >unfortunately he's indigo so instead i had to settle for spitting in his gander globe and spending the rest of the night hate-eating microwaved disappointment >bruh
YOUR LIFE IS A RICH AND ENVIABLE TAPESTRY.
[βοΈ Shou|d've just done it. It wou|d've been worth it. βοΈ]
NO IF HE HAD CULLED HIM HE WOULD ALZO HAVE GOTTEN CULLED ITZ RLLY NOT THAT WORTH IT IN THE END, HE DID THE RIGHT THING
>like most tapestries i also wish someone would just FUCKING END IT >RELEASE ME FROM THIS LIVING HELL
>i can think of way funnier situations to throw my life away in and this one was not one of them
IF YOU WERE A COUPLE CASTES LOWER. AND A HOT SLUT. I WOULD HAVE THE JOB OFFER OF ALL TIME FOR YOU. BUT YOU ARE AN UGLY PISSBLOOD. WITH NOTHING TO OFFER. OUR HIGHLY SELECTIVE. AND PRESTIGIOUS ENTERPRISE. EXCEPT AN APTITUDE FOR BEING #PLUGGED. #SUGGESTIVE.
ON SECOND THOUGHT. THAT MIGHT BE ENOUGH. HIRING STANDARDS HAVE BEEN IN THE LOAD GAPER LATELY.
>honestly fucking whatever >at the very least it is genuinely impossible to unintentionally fuck up troll dominoes when you're not factoring in the process in which the flavordisc makes it into your maw >even reheated this shit is FIRE >plus the motherfucker was chopped >he definitely doesn't get the same amount of e-nook i receive on the nightly LOLOLOL
>dump your medication down the washbasin >wake up >WAKE UP >WAKE UP
>whichever one of you is posting that shit >i know you're chatting shit >SUFFER THE PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT OF WANTING TO GET SOME OF THIS MAXLOL MEATAGE
>fuschia got fucked up >that's a bad bitch down >genuinely unfortunate
>be me >live a deeply unserious existence >i'm so fucking good at it too LOL
>it is a GREAT fucking thing >what do you MEAN >THE HOES LOVE A MOTHERFUCKING E-CLOWN LOLOLOL