♦ pitied by @markhorMasticator
fat bottom girl you do in fact make the rockin world go round so like for those of yall who aint in the know my home cooking situation was kinda unique in that there fucking wasnt one for like all of my growing up despite that being a very real and important adult skill to have not just sipping room temperature aj and freezer burnt microwaved dishes fuckin big boy stuff so in order to impress the milfmother of all future mother baddies ive secretly started taking lessons and ive gotten pretty nifty with the kitchen cutlery still a bit sloppy in some areas but when i started treating this shit like an art instead of a science i started dropping some isaac newton forehead splitting type revelations i brought the preheat the sick oven fires and when i stopped melting expensive kitchen appliances i began melting minds i.e. dave's own tastebud cunt gigantamaxing flapple appletun gmax grind-to-100-layer cake the tail is a chocolate cake with a three layer mint glaze topped with a berry glaze from a route of your choice layer one is a simple vanilla cake with a raspberry buttercream frosting colored with a pinch of dragonfruit powder super effective just trust the process studded up with lil edible sugar pearls and tapioca layer two is a record setting double up on red velvet cakes held cheek to cheek together with a tart berry jelly of your choice choose this starter ingredient carefully as fuck cause thats the same tart ingredient you take to the championship at the top last layer four heavenly elite four kings crested with apple honey glaze and a tart berry jelly in the center shits your starter so you know its overleveled as fuck maraschino cherries with the same glaze as the tail as a decorative dip trail to taste the eyestalks were waffle crisps with edible sugar pearls fastened their tastebud tickling seatbelts in place with raspberry buttercream frosting mixed with fragrant apple finish
I've been keeping my mind sharp and my sensibilities sensibly stationed inside this skull of mine. The flesh wrapping it has yet to atrophy, so no sense in letting my brain exceed it in that sordid little footrace. With other news, Lil Cal is ridiculously busted in Balatro, and I hope this oversight is never properly patched. T̶hat would disappoint.