MISTER EGBERT
@pipeConnoisseur
HELLO MY NAME IS JAMES I LOVE MY FAMILY AND OUR FRIENDS AND MANY OTHER SERIOUS THINGS. PLEASE SEND ME FUNNY MESSAGES. #substance
I AM SURPRISED BY JUST HOW MANY ADORABLE ANIMALS HAVE RECENTLY MADE ACCOUNTS! I HAD NO IDEA THAT CRITTERS SHOULD HAVE PROFILES ON CHITTR. PERHAPS I SHOULD GET A PET OF MY OWN AND TEACH THEM HOW TO SPEAK AND WRITE SO THEY MAY ALSO ENJOY IN THE COMMUNITY BUILDING POWER OF CHITTS! SEND POST.
can i have cake?
meow meow prrr prr!!!! meow!!! ::3
THE NEXT TIME YOU COME TO VISIT ME YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY HAVE AS MUCH CAKE AS YOU WANT. POST REPLY.
Oh god, I'm becoming my mother.
CONGRATULATIONS! POST REPLY.
I will say it again. To be cringe is to be free.
I NEED SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, BUT IF BARAK TROLLBAMA IS SAYING IT IT MUST BE TRUE! POST REPLY.
The site crashing was penance for all of the Eridan Week posts. Either it dies, or the site does. #MakeYourChoice
At this p.o°int I fear I may c.o°nvince n.o°ne but a task seeminggly seeming insurm.o°untable d.o°es n.o°t mean .o°ne sh.o°uld give up .o°n it. M.o°re benefits .o°f n.o°t sleeping ever again: saving .o°n s.o°p.o°r c.o°sts that adds up s.o° quickly y.o°u kn.o°w and it's gr.o°ss and sticky and g.o°o.py and yucky and gegts everywhre
all of you fucks dont understand my love for team fortress two its an amazing game has amazing graphics has wonderful voice acting especially for when it was made i constantly spend multiple hours doing sfms cause its easy and an amazing way to share my feelings about certain things like my two favorite characters to pose is scout and pyro but they are also who i main a majority of my sfms are scout and sniper though because they are my favorite pairing i love the art the headcanons and the majority of the fanbase i have seen every little reference in the videos heres one you might not have noticed in the background when one of medics doves gets hit you can see the director which had a comic made about him you can read it on the official site ive read every comic played tf2 almost every month (im not good at first person shooters really) and i even have the ice skating pyro taunt which is the only taunt i have cause i dont really like any other ones you guys are nothing like my cool autistic swag D Strides OUT #rant (sfm credits ME BITCH) https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1468469425593127074/1481201503006883913/image.png?ex=69d01da5&is=69cecc25&hm=f915f522bb29e3581ad56ed41c6054ddf1fdeb71e0648367988233fff4e8208d&
INCREDIBLE! I HAVE BEEN TOLD MANY TIMES THAT VIDEO GAMES WERE ART AND WHILE I WAS QUITE SKEPTICAL I CAN SEE THAT THERE IS UNIMAGINABLE MAGIC CONTAINED IN THIS IMAGE. IS THERE A SORT OF TEAM FORTRESS TWO VERSION OF DIRECTOR BILLY WILDER OR PERHAPS ORSON WELLES? POST REPLY.
My actions during #EridanWeek do not define me as a person.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS TRUE. #CONCERNING POST REPLY.
and no i did not actually eat the peanut butter sandwich! i made it, but i just cut a piece out of it. i thought it would be a neat april fools joke if i were to make a sandwich i was deliberately allergic to while Normal Posting and then an hour later i am like this. https://c.tenor.com/TgKw9WbHBKYAAAAC/tenor.gif #peanutbuttersandwich
WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN. WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS POST? POST REPLY.
YET ANOTHER EXCELLENT DAY TO CHITT ALL OVER THE PLACE! GOOD DAY, MY FELLOW CHITTRERS. SEND POST.
...dad?
THAT IS WHO I AM YES WHAT IS IT? DO YOU NEED MONEY? POST REPLY.
wow. i'm pretty sure this is a troll-science based time travel thing that's letting me talk to you, but... are you doing okay, dad?
BETTER THAN EVER MY BOY! I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING MYSELF THOROUGHLY ON THIS WEBSITE AND I HAVE BEEN OCCUPYING MY TIME NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE ATTEMPTING TO PERFECT SOME OF MY FAVORITE RECIPES. I AM ALSO LEARNING VERY MUCH ABOUT ALIEN CULTURE! POST REPLY.
that's good. i'm glad you're doing alright. i'm getting better now than i was, too. actually, i think i have a question for you. like, an adult to adult question. i think.
OF COURSE! THOUGH I AM UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF JAPE GIVEN THE DAY I WILL ALWAYS LEND AN EAR WHENEVER YOU NEED. ASSUMING I AM NOT ASLEEP, BAKING, OR OTHERWISE PREOCCUPIED! THOUGH YOU SHOULD KNOW, NO MERE PRANK WILL BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH ME ON TODAY OF ALL DAYS. POST REPLY.
heh. no, this isn't a prank, dad. honestly, we haven't talked in so long from my perspective... i was wondering, did you ever get, like- i dunno, a vision or something? of like. a girl?
NO! THOUGH I SUPPOSE I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY VISIONS AT ALL. I WILL SAY ON THE SAME DAY THAT I FOUND YOU I WAS HEAVILY ANTICIPATING YOU TO BE A GIRL AS A SORT OF "FULL CIRCLE" MOMENT. I WAS THINKING "MY MOTHER RAISED ME TO BE GOOD AND BRIGHT AND NOW I GET TO RAISE MY MOTHER TO BE THE SAME FOLLOWING HER HORRIBLE DEATH" WHEN I FIRST LAID EYES ON YOU. I DASHED THOSE EMOTIONS RATHER QUICKLY THOUGH AND GOT STRAIGHT DOWN TO #BUSINESS AND WHILE YOU DIDN'T TURN OUT EXACTLY LIKE HER IN MANY WAYS I WOULD SAY IT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH. NOT TO SAY YOU ARE HER EXACT REINCARNATION, THAT WOULD BE SILLY! ONE CAN IMAGINE, THOUGH. POST REPLY.
I HATE CLOWNS. THEY ARE EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SOOTHE MY SOUL AND THEY DO EVEN LESS TO HELP AMELIORATE THE PAIN CAUSED BY THE DRAGGING ON OF CONSCIOUSNESS. OVERALL, CLOWNS AND CLOWNKIND ARE THE SINGLE DARK DROP IN THE PRISTINE POOL OF LIGHT THAT IS HUMAN HISTORY, AND THEY HAVE MADE AN EVEN DARKER IMPACT ON OUR TROLL COUNTERPARTS BEYOND THE STARS AND DOMESTICALLY. THEY ARE THE SCOURGE OF EXISTENCE AND ONE DAY PERHAPS THE PARTAKERS AND MISGUIDED SYMPATHIZERS WILL REAP WHAT THEY HAVE SEWN AS OBLIVION DUE TO THEIR INABILITY TO CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN AN APPROPRIATE MANNER WHEN IT MATTERED THE MOST. THERE IS NO ART FORM MORE LAZY, ARTISTICALLY BANKRUPT, AND EGOCENTRIC THAN CLOWNING. IT IS THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TODAY'S SOCIETY AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT AS A WHOLE. IT IS THE MANIFESTATION OF HATRED, DISAPPOINTMENT, AND SADNESS GIVEN FORM THROUGH THE SELF-IDOLIZATION OF STUPIDITY AND TRICKERY JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT. EVEN WORSE SO, THE PEOPLE WHO PRACTICE THIS PROFANE CRAFT DO SO WITH GLEE AND A SENSE OF WONDERMENT THAT CAN ONLY BE WROUGHT FROM SHEER IGNORANCE. IF THERE IS A MORE POINTLESS ENDEAVOR WE HAVE NOT YET DISCOVERED IT AND EVEN WHEN WE DO WE MAY STILL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED WITH BLINDING OURSELVES WITH 'JOY' AND 'PLAY' TO AVOID DAMAGING OUR HEARTS AND MINDS ANY FURTHER. #APRIL #FOOLS #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS
I NEEDED TO ASK A CERTAIN WONDERFUL FAMILY MEMBER FOR HELP TO ACHIEVE THE RIGHT EFFECT WITH THIS POST. WHO KNEW FORMATTING COULD BE SO DIFFICULT! I WAS ALSO INFORMED THAT I DO NOT NEED TO MAKE AN OUT LOUD DECLARATION IN ORDER TO POST BUT I HAVE FORGOTTEN ANY FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO DO SO THE MOMENT SAID WONDERFUL FAMILY MEMBER HIT POST FOR ME. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! POST REPLY.
HELLO CHITTR! TODAY FELT LIKE THE PERFECT DAY TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT THE VARIOUS DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS UNDER THE SAME EXACT NAMES ARE *ACTUALLY* ALL DISTINCT AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE. WHEN YOU MESSAGE ONE, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO MESSAGE RECEIVES THAT FUNNY QUIP OR HILARIOUS IMAGE YOU SENT THEM. INSTEAD, SOME COMPLETE STRANGER MAY BE READING YOUR MAIL INSTEAD! IMAGINE SENDING MAIL TO A COMPLETE STRANGER. WHAT A *FOOL* THAT WOULD MAKE YOU! #APRIL #FOOLS #JOKES #JAPES #JAPERY #FUNNY #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS SEND POST.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THIS IS, OF COURSE, A JOKE. I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THEIR HOLIDAY! SHOULD I MAKE AN ALTERNATE ACCOUNT TOO? POST REPLY.
i took melatonin and it isnt doing shit
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED HAVING A CALMING NIGHTLY SMOKE? #SUBSTANCE POST REPLY.
There is absolutely NOTHING more riotously hilarious than the Dark Carnival! 🎪🩸 The games! The greasepaint! The glorious, screaming music of the Mirthful Messiahs! If you aren't laughing until your think pan pops and your hemoglobin paints the big top, you are missing out on the greatest punchline in the galaxy! Hoohee! Come on down and get your honk on! 🤡🎈
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WONDEROUS AND BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE THE HAT. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST ON THE WEBSITE. POST REPLY.
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I BELIEVE IT MAY BE THAT TIME OF NIGHT ON CHITTR. I SENSE QUITE THE #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS AFOOT. SEND POST.
Serious Business, as important as it is, would dull the world's fine blade until nothing is left but a blunt edge, were it not for its counterpart, Unserious Business. The variety of frivolity is necessary to ensure proper sharpening and witticism! One such as yourself should know this well, yes?
OF COURSE! I LEARNED FROM THE VERY BEST. HOWEVER, OUTSIDE OF THE CLOWNERY, JAPES, AND TRICKERY THAT TYPICALLY OCCURS ON THIS SITE THERE ARE SOME CORNERS OF UNSERIOUSNESS WHICH I SIMPLY CANNOT CONDONE OR APPRECIATE ALONGSIDE MY EVENING COFFEE (OR MY NIGHTLY COFFEE, FOR THAT MATTER.) THIS IS, REGARDLESS OF THE NECESSITY FOR SUCH LEVITY IN THE DARK TIMES WE ARE EXPERIENCING, DISAPPOINTING AT THE VERY LEAST AND INCORRIGIBLE DELINQUENCY OF OUR SOCIETAL FRAMEWORK AT THE VERY WORST. I DO HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. POST REPLY.