MISTER EGBERT
@pipeConnoisseur
HELLO MY NAME IS JAMES I LOVE MY FAMILY AND OUR FRIENDS AND MANY OTHER SERIOUS THINGS. PLEASE SEND ME FUNNY MESSAGES. #substance
[Considering the new banner and the username, I just wanted to drop a general #substance for the account. James here, after all, may very well start talking about his favorite hobby any minute now. Future posts regarding the topic will of course be tagged, but I wanted to drop a warning just in case anybody wanted to get that block in early. While I'm at it, though, hello everybody :3!]
get me a full e nglish breakfast and a ciggarete
httpSss://cdn.imgcheSsst.com/fileSss/9a08a46330a1.jpg
bro... ablution block flooded yesternight x( had 2 freakin spend all light cleanin n shit bro... den i had 2 wake up early n freakin get 2 bashing skullz n shit x((( not epic.
sum new orderz abt gettin sum turf back xP urghh, they r alwayz so annoyin abt it, cuz liek, idk y we even have 2 do alladat cuz it's not liek they r even botherin any1
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 HUH. YEAH. NEVER REALLY GOT INTO THE WHOLE CULLING THING, BUT RECENT EVENTS INVOLVING A CERTAIN BRONZEBLOOD HAHAVE HAHAD BEEN REASSESSING THIS WHOLE THING. :o?
o shit, ya? wut has been goin on, huh? x( i do nawt think i am in da kno, bro...
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 JUST THAHAT THERE BE SOME MUTHAHAFUCKERS OUT THERE THAHAT MIGHT NEED THEIR HEADS POPPED. MIGHT'VE BEEN LOOKING AT THE WHOLE PHILOSOPHY UP AND DOWNWARDS YOU GET ME?
did youknow they named the grammys after me.?
i hope everyone finds a reason to smile today :D!
all depends on how todays #eridanweek festivities go.
oh but you have NO idea how much it woulld make my day if one certain thing happens :)
CHITTR I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL BETTER EMOTIONS REGARDING THE #ERIDANWEEK PHENOMENON AND MAY BE ENDORSING THE EVENT AGAIN. I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT MORE, BUT IT JUST SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN! HOW COULD THAT BE BAD? SEND POST.
may ur chittrs b abundant & fruitful tis beautiful evening #bless
YET ANOTHER EXCELLENT DAY TO CHITT ALL OVER THE PLACE! GOOD DAY, MY FELLOW CHITTRERS. SEND POST.
THAT IS WHO I AM YES WHAT IS IT? DO YOU NEED MONEY? POST REPLY.
wow. i'm pretty sure this is a troll-science based time travel thing that's letting me talk to you, but... are you doing okay, dad?
BETTER THAN EVER MY BOY! I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING MYSELF THOROUGHLY ON THIS WEBSITE AND I HAVE BEEN OCCUPYING MY TIME NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE ATTEMPTING TO PERFECT SOME OF MY FAVORITE RECIPES. I AM ALSO LEARNING VERY MUCH ABOUT ALIEN CULTURE! POST REPLY.
that's good. i'm glad you're doing alright. i'm getting better now than i was, too. actually, i think i have a question for you. like, an adult to adult question. i think.
OF COURSE! THOUGH I AM UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF JAPE GIVEN THE DAY I WILL ALWAYS LEND AN EAR WHENEVER YOU NEED. ASSUMING I AM NOT ASLEEP, BAKING, OR OTHERWISE PREOCCUPIED! THOUGH YOU SHOULD KNOW, NO MERE PRANK WILL BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH ME ON TODAY OF ALL DAYS. POST REPLY.
heh. no, this isn't a prank, dad. honestly, we haven't talked in so long from my perspective... i was wondering, did you ever get, like- i dunno, a vision or something? of like. a girl?
NO! THOUGH I SUPPOSE I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY VISIONS AT ALL. I WILL SAY ON THE SAME DAY THAT I FOUND YOU I WAS HEAVILY ANTICIPATING YOU TO BE A GIRL AS A SORT OF "FULL CIRCLE" MOMENT. I WAS THINKING "MY MOTHER RAISED ME TO BE GOOD AND BRIGHT AND NOW I GET TO RAISE MY MOTHER TO BE THE SAME FOLLOWING HER HORRIBLE DEATH" WHEN I FIRST LAID EYES ON YOU. I DASHED THOSE EMOTIONS RATHER QUICKLY THOUGH AND GOT STRAIGHT DOWN TO #BUSINESS AND WHILE YOU DIDN'T TURN OUT EXACTLY LIKE HER IN MANY WAYS I WOULD SAY IT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH. NOT TO SAY YOU ARE HER EXACT REINCARNATION, THAT WOULD BE SILLY! ONE CAN IMAGINE, THOUGH. POST REPLY.
✨💖𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓵𝓮 𝓸𝓷! 𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓦𝓮𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂! 𝓓𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓯𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓶𝓮𝔀𝓻 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯! 𝓶𝓮𝔀~💖✨ https://i.imgur.com/O6xuGDH.gif
~i needed this
I HATE CLOWNS. THEY ARE EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SOOTHE MY SOUL AND THEY DO EVEN LESS TO HELP AMELIORATE THE PAIN CAUSED BY THE DRAGGING ON OF CONSCIOUSNESS. OVERALL, CLOWNS AND CLOWNKIND ARE THE SINGLE DARK DROP IN THE PRISTINE POOL OF LIGHT THAT IS HUMAN HISTORY, AND THEY HAVE MADE AN EVEN DARKER IMPACT ON OUR TROLL COUNTERPARTS BEYOND THE STARS AND DOMESTICALLY. THEY ARE THE SCOURGE OF EXISTENCE AND ONE DAY PERHAPS THE PARTAKERS AND MISGUIDED SYMPATHIZERS WILL REAP WHAT THEY HAVE SEWN AS OBLIVION DUE TO THEIR INABILITY TO CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN AN APPROPRIATE MANNER WHEN IT MATTERED THE MOST. THERE IS NO ART FORM MORE LAZY, ARTISTICALLY BANKRUPT, AND EGOCENTRIC THAN CLOWNING. IT IS THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TODAY'S SOCIETY AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT AS A WHOLE. IT IS THE MANIFESTATION OF HATRED, DISAPPOINTMENT, AND SADNESS GIVEN FORM THROUGH THE SELF-IDOLIZATION OF STUPIDITY AND TRICKERY JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT. EVEN WORSE SO, THE PEOPLE WHO PRACTICE THIS PROFANE CRAFT DO SO WITH GLEE AND A SENSE OF WONDERMENT THAT CAN ONLY BE WROUGHT FROM SHEER IGNORANCE. IF THERE IS A MORE POINTLESS ENDEAVOR WE HAVE NOT YET DISCOVERED IT AND EVEN WHEN WE DO WE MAY STILL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED WITH BLINDING OURSELVES WITH 'JOY' AND 'PLAY' TO AVOID DAMAGING OUR HEARTS AND MINDS ANY FURTHER. #APRIL #FOOLS #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS
I NEEDED TO ASK A CERTAIN WONDERFUL FAMILY MEMBER FOR HELP TO ACHIEVE THE RIGHT EFFECT WITH THIS POST. WHO KNEW FORMATTING COULD BE SO DIFFICULT! I WAS ALSO INFORMED THAT I DO NOT NEED TO MAKE AN OUT LOUD DECLARATION IN ORDER TO POST BUT I HAVE FORGOTTEN ANY FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO DO SO THE MOMENT SAID WONDERFUL FAMILY MEMBER HIT POST FOR ME. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! POST REPLY.
HELLO CHITTR! TODAY FELT LIKE THE PERFECT DAY TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT THE VARIOUS DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS UNDER THE SAME EXACT NAMES ARE *ACTUALLY* ALL DISTINCT AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE. WHEN YOU MESSAGE ONE, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO MESSAGE RECEIVES THAT FUNNY QUIP OR HILARIOUS IMAGE YOU SENT THEM. INSTEAD, SOME COMPLETE STRANGER MAY BE READING YOUR MAIL INSTEAD! IMAGINE SENDING MAIL TO A COMPLETE STRANGER. WHAT A *FOOL* THAT WOULD MAKE YOU! #APRIL #FOOLS #JOKES #JAPES #JAPERY #FUNNY #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS SEND POST.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THIS IS, OF COURSE, A JOKE. I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THEIR HOLIDAY! SHOULD I MAKE AN ALTERNATE ACCOUNT TOO? POST REPLY.
I WAS OUT FOR A LARGE MAJORITY OF THE DAY WORKING ON #SERIOUS #BUSINESS, THOUGH I HAVE RETURNED! I IMAGINE #ERIDANWEEK WENT FANTASTICALLY WITHOUT ANY MAJOR HICCUPS OR PROBLEMS SUCH AS THE HAPPENINGS OF LAST NIGHT, CORRECT? SEND POST.
Hey, every day above ground is a great day, remember that, daleee
YET ANOTHER DAY OF #ERIDANWEEK! I AM FRIGHTFUL, BUT WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TWO DAYS IN A ROW DURING/ON/AROUND THE SAME EVENT? I STILL DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND HOW ALL OF THAT WORKS, BUT I AM POSITIVE THAT TODAY'S FESTIVITIES WILL BE LESS #VIOLENT AND #CRIMINAL AS YESTERDAY'S! SEND POST.
I have it on record that aliens have invaded Chittr. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/464cd448fba8.png
<!-- I wouldn't really call it invading, I'd call it moreso an unexpected guest c: -->
I want to believe.
I BELIEVE IT MAY BE THAT TIME OF NIGHT ON CHITTR. I SENSE QUITE THE #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS AFOOT. SEND POST.
Serious Business, as important as it is, would dull the world's fine blade until nothing is left but a blunt edge, were it not for its counterpart, Unserious Business. The variety of frivolity is necessary to ensure proper sharpening and witticism! One such as yourself should know this well, yes?
hi mister egbert man everyone really has a chittr account nowadays huh
OF COURSE! I LEARNED FROM THE VERY BEST. HOWEVER, OUTSIDE OF THE CLOWNERY, JAPES, AND TRICKERY THAT TYPICALLY OCCURS ON THIS SITE THERE ARE SOME CORNERS OF UNSERIOUSNESS WHICH I SIMPLY CANNOT CONDONE OR APPRECIATE ALONGSIDE MY EVENING COFFEE (OR MY NIGHTLY COFFEE, FOR THAT MATTER.) THIS IS, REGARDLESS OF THE NECESSITY FOR SUCH LEVITY IN THE DARK TIMES WE ARE EXPERIENCING, DISAPPOINTING AT THE VERY LEAST AND INCORRIGIBLE DELINQUENCY OF OUR SOCIETAL FRAMEWORK AT THE VERY WORST. I DO HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. POST REPLY.
HELLO! YES THIS WEBSITE IS VERY GOOD. I SUGGEST INVESTING A GREAT DEAL OF YOUR TIME, MONEY, AND ENERGY INTO THE PROCESS OF UPHOLDING YOUR ACCOUNT! POST REPLY.
well heard mister egbert i mean if youre endorsing it then im sure the place has to be absolutely worth the time money and energy of such a forward and up front investment ill be sure to do exactly all of those things
DESPITE THE HORRIFIC HAPPENINGS OF THE DAY (#RIPBRUNO, #BRINGGREENMARKHOME) I DID WANT TO PROVIDE MY FULL SPIRITUAL AND LEGITIMATE ENDORSEMENT OF CHITTR TO THE FEED I HAVE BEGUN TO VIEW SO DEARLY. I QUITE ENJOY CHITTING! I HAVE GROWN SO ATTACHED TO THIS FUNNY LITTLE WEBSITE THAT I HAVE BEGUN TO CHITT EVERYWHERE WITHIN MY HOUSEHOLD. I HAVE CHITT IN THE BEDROOM. I HAVE CHITT IN MY STUDY. I HAVE CHITT FROM THE COMFORT OF MY RECLINER. I HAVE CHITT WHILE MAKING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER. I HAVE CHITT IN THE FRONT (AND BACK!) YARD. I HAVE CHITT NEXT TO THE URN OVER MY FIREPLACE. I HAVE EVEN CHITT IN THE BATHROOM, BOTH WHILE ON THE TOILET AND IN THE SHOWER! I AM AN AVID CHITTRER AND I DO NOT INTEND TO STOP ANYTIME SOON. THIS IS ALL VERY #SERIOUS #CHITTNESS. SOON I SUSPECT I WILL BE CHITTING WHILE IN PUBLIC, PERHAPS ON MY NEXT VISIT TO THE GROCERY STORE. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN TO THE STAFF MEMBERS FOR CREATING SUCH A WONDERFUL ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH WE CAN ALL ENJOY EACH OTHER'S CHITTS WITH A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND BELONGING. I LOOK FORWARD TO CHITTING WITH YOU ALL FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. SEND POST.
TO ANYONE ATTENDING #ERIDANWEEK; I WISH YOU A SAFE TRIP HOME OR IN ANY GENERAL DIRECTION AWAY FROM THE EVENT. SEND POST.
i left early to direct hey you wanna be in a movie you suck
THAT IS NO WAY TO ASK SOMEONE TO WORK WITH YOU ON #SERIOUS #BUSINESS! I AM DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED IN THE WAY YOU HAVE CONDUCTED YOURSELF IN THIS DIGITAL INTERACTION. THAT BEING SAID, YES. POST REPLY.
WE'VE BEEN UNABLE TO LEAVE THE GROUNDS DO TO THE INTENSE PANIC AND RUSHING THE STAGE GO GRAB A SMALL PIECE OF THE FALLEN MUSICAL STAR. THIS SIGHT IS NOTHING BUT HARROWING #ERIDANWEEK.