Colonel Sassacre
@frivolousJapery
Southern Colonel & Humorist. Happily married!
In my youth - I was quite the "quirked up white boy." The others envied my capacity to, well, bust it down frivolous style, as it were!
yes father :)
i tried believe me im lesbian and a trans woman
Tolerance is the beginning of all silliness. I am proud of you my daughter
youre gonna make me cry papa.... (╥﹏╥)
i mean tru
The motion picture of the modern day never ceases to amaze,
Dear chums, I urge you all to stay off of that "Yak Pack". I was having day terrors! Horrendous concoction that young fellow on the street handed me. Quite the practical jape if intended. #substances
::I WOULD heavily ADVISE AGAINST ::TAKING ILLICIT SUBSTANCES FROM ::strangers ::IF YOU ARE GOING TO explore ::DO SO WITH friends YOU TRUST ::AND MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND ::what YOU ARE TAKING
I very much understood quite well! "Enough Marijuana to make a domestic Yak pass out"! He made it quite clear, I tell you. I made it quite clear as well, I would handle it with grace! I didn't, quite obviously.
::ARE YOU FEELING alright NOW? ::IF YOU EVER NEED TO COME DOWN ::FROM A high YOU CAN TRY ::CHEWING whole peppercorns ::BLACK PEPPER CONTAINS THE ::terpene BETA-CARYOPHYLLENE ::WHICH CAN HELP modulate THE ::WAY YOUR ENDOCANNABINOID ::SYSTEM RESPONDS TO thc
Dear stranger, if I were to chew whole peppercorns at this very moment, I do believe I'd do more harm than good! Hoo hoo.
::I CANNOT ARGUE WITH THAT ::WHILE I UNDERSTAND THE ::science BEHIND IT ::IT STILL DOESN'T SEEM VERY ::ENJOYABLE ::OTHERWISE GIVE YOURSELF time ::AND BE SURE TO DRINK SOME ::water
mY GROODIES,,, mALENKY,,,
TAVROS WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF COM8AT SIMUL8TIONS STOP CHITTING!!!!!!!!
bUT SHE CALLED MY GROODIES, mALENKY- OW, tHAT SHOULDN'T BE, oN THE OUTSIDE, hUH?
Feed a man for a day, he'll feef his may, teach a man to feef his way, he'll beef the meef yay! #true
tHIS IS SO TRUE AND, aCTUALLY PRETTY DEEP WHEN, yOU THINK ABOUT IT,
Wise words.
Fucked up on that yak pack #substances #pipesmoking #pipesmokingthedevilslettuce #hoohoo
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Indeedily Do Hee Hoo #honk 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
[|87 :: 1 be smok;n on that esoter;c pack fr #substances #packwatch
hEhehhehehheaheheheahehehe hAhahaha Ahahahah hEheheheh hAhahahaaaha ha!~ hEheh hAhaa hAhaha Aahahahah Ehehe hEhehhehe hEheehoo hOhohohooo hEhehe Ahhahaha ha!~
If I were to pick a favourite colour.. I've been quite fond of roseate, salmon shades. Those deep hot pinks that stain my retinas! A proper blushing coral, maybe..
I believe now more than ever is an important time for older folks like myself to look back to what brought me here. Did you know that in my youth I fancied myself a pilot? Oh, I was quite familiar with every slight snag or obscure wood-pile my side of the Mississippi! I could read that old river like it was script, every turn and current mine to know. Unfortunately, with how time changes, so does a river's flow. I very well doubt my experience would do me much good on that front.
☆ that’s why I fuKK with you that’s some real shit you just said☆
I believe it was God himself playing a prank on me to leave me so smitten with the figure of a woman. How my frail stoicism crumbles when presented with a fine lady's frame.
New idea I've been working on, 52 pickup 2. Initiate a game of 52 pickup, but after your victim is finished picking up the deck of cards, use a hidden bulb horn to scare them into dropping the deck, forcing them to pick it up a second time over.
Taking notes.
This is most definitely fair critique.. I suppose it matters who it is you initiate this with. You would not target a soul who would take such frivolities to the heart. Perhaps if there were a way to create the initial dread of needing to pick up the deck once more, without actually enforcing that.. A means of removing the tedium but maintaining the punch?
hAHA, yOU ARE SO, fUNNY,
Drop 26 of the cards, and then once yovr victim of choice has fallen fool for yovr bit, falsely assvming they have retrieved all the cards, drop the other 26. It's only one dropped deck, yet remains at an impact of twice reqviring the pranked to participate.
Hmm! We're cooking with petrol now, we are! Then how about this, the second half of the deck is hidden away, to further the illusion of completion? Were it simply resting in our palm it would most definitely give away the punchline. If only you could cleanly divide a deck of cards into thirds...
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worthwhile. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
Hoo hoo! I am sure the lot of you anticipated some grand buffoonery from yours truly the night prior, perhaps jacks in your soles and cakes aplenty. Alas, I had failed to inform the lot of you, that the first of April is my break from the tomfoolery. 365 days of japes does take something out of a man..
<3-The-ultimate-prank...-No-prank-at-all.-Masterfully-done-Colonel.
Some may consider it lame, but anticipation without follow-up does have a place in comedy. I thank you for your words, Pugilistic friend.
Tomorrow arrives swiftly. I will be as busy as they come these passing few hours. Much I must attend to.
The most hallowed of days, April first, draws ever nearer with every passing second. Tell me, friends, compatriots, how do you plan to participate in the whimsy and frivolities of such a truly excellent holiday?
⠀
it sounds like a wonderful time, dear one. would you tell me about the finer details of this highly anticipated holiday?
THE CORRECT ANSWER! Hoo hoo! I expect nothing less of you, dear Jane. A true Prankster Prodigy. Yes, please forgive my rudeness for asking at all.
im gunna do crimes and debaucheries #nsfw #violence
I won't blame you for one moment for fielding off your anticipation! Nor for weeding out the ninnies.
i got a head start on japery with some outfit swaps!!!
Oh, but it's perhaps the most wondrous of occasions here on earth, you see. April Fools, we call it - perhaps the only time of year in which you can find your fedora freaks and finery fiends tossing cream pies and dropping decks of cards, all in the name of entertaining your fellow man whilst keeping them humble.
how absolutely wonderful! a celebration dedicated to the act of joyous whimsy. what could be better? thank you for sharing this with me, dear one. i shall endeavor to participate! (:^
hehe, its jinx now. but thanks! glad the expert approves.
"seafood alfredo?" yeah, I'll see food and then I'll fredo #shimp🦐 mew~ 💖✨
<3-What-do-you-mean-you'll-"fredo"-what-does-that-mean?
I stack racks so fat, bitches be thinking they're silicone. They don't make them like they make me anymore, man. I'm a demon. I'll clown your whole squad for bus fare and then WALK. Prankster's Gambit so high and my dick's still bigger. Make my wife wear groucho glasses while she rides it, call that shit beaglepussy. #nsfw
Bars.
tHIS IS SOME, sERIOUS, sICK FIRES, mISTER sASSACRE!
You're too kind! Really! They say the mark of a good wordsmith is fluency in multiple different literary arts, so I do my best to keep myself up-to-date.
The mark of a zenith in any particular medium is their versatility. Keep stuntin'on 'em, big dog.
Apparently in the modern day Butterfingers Solitaire has left the comedic zeitgeist and has "died" within the field of humorists. I do not think I will ever recover.
