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Colonel Sassacre

@frivolousJapery

Southern Colonel & Humorist. Happily married!

Blood: AnonymousAge: Kult Score: 633Kull Score: 48422 followers24 following

Hoo hoo! I am sure the lot of you anticipated some grand buffoonery from yours truly the night prior, perhaps jacks in your soles and cakes aplenty. Alas, I had failed to inform the lot of you, that the first of April is my break from the tomfoolery. 365 days of japes does take something out of a man..

Kult: +25
Kull: +10
Total: 35
Ratio: 2.50

<3-The-ultimate-prank...-No-prank-at-all.-Masterfully-done-Colonel.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Some may consider it lame, but anticipation without follow-up does have a place in comedy. I thank you for your words, Pugilistic friend.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I BELIEVE IT MAY BE THAT TIME OF NIGHT ON CHITTR. I SENSE QUITE THE #UNSERIOUS #BUSINESS AFOOT. SEND POST.

Kult: +15
Kull: +5
Total: 20
Ratio: 3.00

Serious Business, as important as it is, would dull the world's fine blade until nothing is left but a blunt edge, were it not for its counterpart, Unserious Business. The variety of frivolity is necessary to ensure proper sharpening and witticism! One such as yourself should know this well, yes?

Kult: +5
Total: 5

The most hallowed of days, April first, draws ever nearer with every passing second. Tell me, friends, compatriots, how do you plan to participate in the whimsy and frivolities of such a truly excellent holiday?

Kult: +50
Kull: +37
Total: 87
Ratio: 1.35
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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

No spoilers, my good sir. :B

Kult: +5
Total: 5

it sounds like a wonderful time, dear one. would you tell me about the finer details of this highly anticipated holiday?

Kult: +5
Total: 5

THE CORRECT ANSWER! Hoo hoo! I expect nothing less of you, dear Jane. A true Prankster Prodigy. Yes, please forgive my rudeness for asking at all.

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@ectoBiologist[EB]

i got a head start on japery with some outfit swaps!!!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Oh, but it's perhaps the most wondrous of occasions here on earth, you see. April Fools, we call it - perhaps the only time of year in which you can find your fedora freaks and finery fiends tossing cream pies and dropping decks of cards, all in the name of entertaining your fellow man whilst keeping them humble.

Kull: +2
Total: 2

Splendid, dear John! May your gambit stay high and your spirits higher..

:33< COLONAL SASSACRE MEOW TOO?????? WHY ARE THE HUMAN LUSII FOLLOWING ME IM JUST A FURREAK

Kult: +17
Kull: +5
Total: 22
Ratio: 3.40

Hoo hoo!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I stack racks so fat, bitches be thinking they're silicone. They don't make them like they make me anymore, man. I'm a demon. I'll clown your whole squad for bus fare and then WALK. Prankster's Gambit so high and my dick's still bigger. Make my wife wear groucho glasses while she rides it, call that shit beaglepussy. #nsfw

Kult: +30
Kull: +15
Total: 45
Ratio: 2.00
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@timaeusTestified[TT]

Bars.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

You're too kind! Really! They say the mark of a good wordsmith is fluency in multiple different literary arts, so I do my best to keep myself up-to-date.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Apparently in the modern day Butterfingers Solitaire has left the comedic zeitgeist and has "died" within the field of humorists. I do not think I will ever recover.

Kult: +17
Kull: +10
Total: 27
Ratio: 1.70

Sorry

I forgive you.

i have the instincts of a hater but a heart of understanding

Kult: +42
Kull: +12
Total: 54
Ratio: 3.50

You'd make an excellent trickster with that mindset, Dave with three Es.

Kull: +5
Total: 5
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@nannaEgbert[NE]

https://file.garden/acHecwA0vHdP6DU4/HNI_0083.JPG Bisexual coming out cake i baked!

Kult: +20
Kull: +5
Total: 25
Ratio: 4.00

I am elated for you, dear.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

how do i get my sister to stop taking her arm off and handing it to me when i ask her for a hand doing something

Kult: +15
Kull: +5
Total: 20
Ratio: 3.00

That is quite the piece of witticism! I would encourage such behavior.

mydaughter stopped in this morning. tried to tell old gamgam no more gambling.bitch

Kult: +53
Kull: +5
Total: 58
Ratio: 10.60

Gamgam, you old coot, if you saw two birds sitting on a fence, you'd bet money over which one would fly off first, you would! Just about the curiosest woman I know.

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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@dynamicFlowfields[DF]

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA512 im deadass gonna have 2 suspend MYSELF if i take this gummy like for real for real i cannot b saying things on the internet #substance -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- nRRMoveZaCXiFNJlyki+ojioBodOthBUDuzYDKwJcAhQCV/gwyfyIfnwcWPrmy+f lp/uQgwzddgjZkMof+hQDaauFbkrXbIdoJib+mLvpCGggetRlFAMBozTHRvVvVrV tdWFDkqnDgIKypfap/eSWirUUEQfnKijBzLDRgDSGYqKLvb+ql/cH+PyVJpRNJcC gFjwMBx/KHfK+puVrEykKSHZnqpqYOkklZyxKjJfImBsfHnEfDybLyzcFjPTuhgk ScsNsFocLyifBFqdTIZHADqAVeQaxuoTUrIrcCRaAOGmT+WlDnrUWoUOHvJtoD/j fCTDtxrxQSiMdLjhOEXjrCtJFMDlXobLOHgskLsBOYUUZNEwyyd/LShOZneoVOHT xSLO =PyIJ -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

Kult: +64
Kull: +14
Total: 78
Ratio: 4.57

Dear stranger - do what your heart tells you is funniest. I trust that you will make the right choice. Cheers.

Kult: +10
Total: 10
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@spadesSlick[SS]

too many thirsty old men on here. reel it in. fish pun intended. if you catch my "vaguepost" drift.

Kult: +20
Kull: +20
Total: 40
Ratio: 1.00

With all the sea at their disposal, you would think such men would be quenched. Alas, seadwelling folk are not so easily satisfied, now are they? Cheers.

Kull: +5
Total: 5
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@windlessArtificer[WA]

Who up digging holes and fetching balls—

Kult: +17
Kull: +5
Total: 22
Ratio: 3.40

Hoo hoo! I shared this one with my dearest lifelong friend Halley and he was elated! I believe you and he may share quite a bit in common.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@marquiseMindfang[MM]

I shall confine my attention to a select su8set of my followers, steering clear of the primary posting arena until the overall morale improves and the stream is free of frivolous contri8utions.

Kult: +15
Kull: +5
Total: 20
Ratio: 3.00

But what is life without frivolity? What is a field not spotted with dandelions? A damned shame. To be filled with lackadaisy is a gift like no other.

diy paint gun

Kult: +27
Kull: +5
Total: 32
Ratio: 5.40

Hoo hoo! Dearest Sleuther, I believe you may find your answers in my daunting text! Pg. 1024, if I am not mistaken, divulges the intricacies of paint-based japery, and the potential uses of paint propulsion in trickery!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

If I may garner the ire of your beagle pussed faces, then I may rest happy. For to be acknowledge with chagrin is better to not be acknowledged at all! Hoo hoo. I do hope you all are not such sourpusses of course. To be made a fool is a gift unlike any other, as you must already know. A trade in gambit is an exchange in humanity.

Kult: +25
Kull: +15
Total: 40
Ratio: 1.67

better *than to not be acknowledged at all! I suppose the pie is on my face now. Hoo hoo!

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@nannaEgbert[NE]

Good morning dad

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@nannaEgbert[NE]

Good day to you, Jane dearest. By gum, have you entered the school of jesterhood since our last altercation? I must say you look wonderful in your most silly of caps! Much love!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I am quite fond of these "pikmin" fellows!

Kult: +40
Kull: +10
Total: 50
Ratio: 4.00
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@turntechGoghead[TG]

theyre pretty chill

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Quite! They remind me of a certain three man act that was up-and-coming in my time - those Three Stooges? They have a similar bumbling air about them.

Kult: +5
Total: 5