Cronus Ampora
@studMuffin
heartthrob, lovwer, fighter he/him ┊ Humankin dm's open ;)
geez all these golds are pathetic
too early for people to hawve the the patience for long posts huh
sneaking out of a gals 8edroom at 4 im the morning vwithout wvaking her should 8e judged as an extreme sport. She rolls owver and sees me putting my socks 8ack on and asks me vwhere I'm going, i suck my teeth and tell her 8a8y im not going anyvwhere, i just need to go to the 8athroom. She asks me wvhat that is, and i correct myself. the a8lution8lock. I scurry off wvith my clothes 8unched up in my arms and get dressed again, 8ut i realise ivwe forgotten my undies in her room. commando it is. i cravwl out her wvindowv, wve're on the third floor, so i scale her hivwe dovwn to the ground floor to get safely 8ack to my nook8uggy. i stop for a pack of cigs on the wvay home. she'll miss me in the ewvening, and nuzzle my jockstrap and touch herself thinking of me. #scenario #Eroticmemoir
Everytime I see you calling it the nook8uggy on my feed I feel a little nauseous.
its underrated, giwve them a little something to make them miss you
It is not a "8espoke" name. It makes you sound like, and please forgive my rudeness (8ecause we 8oth know I care deeply for your feelings), a major douche8ag.
Oh, goodness. The illness is worse than I presumed. ::::( He is completely o8livious!
i feel you man, its rough out there for us playboys. the hardest part for me has alvways been leavwing late enough shes asleep proper, but not so late that the suns out to ruin my perfect complexion and burn me to a crisp. this is vwhy i lovwe a gal vwith a roommate. i can sneak outta one room to go havwe a lil liason vwith her buddy, then sneak outta hers to go sleep under the hivwestems communal staircase until sunfall. bonus points if another lady friend livwes in the same building. #nofuninthesun #spoonunderthemoon #nsfwv
hey ladies enjoying the wvievw?
does anyone knovw vwhat an "angel shot" is? 8road ivwe 8een chatting up at the local vwatering hole keeps asking the 8artender for one and he hasnt givwen her a single drink. im starting to vwonder if the guy evwen wvorks here, or if this 8road is trying to order a drink that doesnt exist
an angel shot is the name a one of my many beam attacks
if i wwere a wwizard for wwigglers id be evvokin some stupid shit like a flipendo or expeliarmus my brother in hope i just cast meteor swwarm
I THINK IT'S WHEN YOU FINISH IN HER HAIR. LIKE A HALO.
READ ALL ABOUT IT -- [ Are you wearing a blue shirt? ]
awvful lot of 8iting on the front page tonight nowv i dont mind a gal that 8ites, hell i think a feisty 8itch is the most fun to tame i used to go steady vwith a little lady that liked to ni88le on my fins
novw i lovwe a 8lovwjo8 as much as the next guy, 8ut these 8u88le 8roads dont knowv howv to givwe a good 8lowvjo8 anymore! she'll either pretend youre not there, just trying to get the jo8 done, or stare up at you like you ovwe her money! she'll flick it, play vwith it, newver givwe enough friction to get a guy really going "oh look at hovw it jumps!" it can sing and dance too, NOVW SUCK MY COCK HONEY!
everything else is understandable but whats up with flicking a peanut? did you get flicked in the dick out of spite or something??
SKILL ISSUE. TRY REMEMBERING A BETTER LAY.
wvhy dont you come owver and help me jog my memory toots?
she's the most 8eautiful girl in the wvorld, sexy sleek thing she knovws hovw to keep me on my toes, gets my stomach tingling wvhen wve cruise. my 8est girl, my main squeeze, she's my evwerything
vwait a minute that 8itch unscrewved my prince al8ert wvith her teeth
i met this fine 8road at the clu8 tonight, she kissed me and slid her hand dovwn my dickies vwhile wve gyrated on the dance floor. fine thing pulled me into the 8athroom stall and showved me her party trick. i mean she could suck the chrome off a trailer. "don't cum in my mouth" she 8egged me. honey i dont vwanna fuck up your hair! i told her you vwouldnt wvant to 8e serwved a drink 8y a 8artender vwith a splatter of vwiolet in her hair #EroticMemoir
do i really look fat in my profile picture?
In that case, y9u are d9ing a very g99d j96 at it. I applaud y9u and y9ur j9urney in 69dy6uilding. #p9sitivity
It is n9t flattery, it's simple truth. #truthnuke #didiusethatright
i personally like to keep it all nice and trimmed. neat and presenta8le if im expecting company im gonna keep it neat and tidy yknowv?
PLEASE PASS YOUR ACCOLADES ONTO @caliBorn and @scratchDoctor. I COULD USE A POSITIVE REVIEW. CONSIDERING MY GENERAL CONDUCT AND BEHAVIOR. THE REST OF THE TIME.
less sure 8y the second. howv's a8out i don't trim it tolight like i planned and giwve you a real close look at it?
YOuR PRAISES COME FROM SERVITuDE. AND uNWAVERING ALLEGIANCE TO THE FELT. NOT ODD JOBS FOR ODD EYED TWO TIMERS. OF NO AFFILIATION. WERE THIS SALIVA TSuNAMI. TO BRING THEIR WORDS CRASHING AT THE CAVING IN DOORSTEPS. OF OuR ENEMIES. YOu MAY HAVE AN APPRAISAL PERIOD BOOSTER PACK. WAITING TO BE TORN INTO. AND SHREDDED. FOR THE RARE. HOLOFOIL COLLECTIBLES. AND BOASTWORTHY IMPETuS. THAT POSSESSES VIOLENCE PRONE GROWN ASS ADuLTS TO SOCK ONE ANOTHER IN THE MOuTH. IN COMMERCIAL RETAIL PARKING LOTS. OVER CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES. FOR NOW. YOu WILL RECEIVE ONLY A TEMPLATED BOILER PLATE REMINDER. WE ARE NOT A CHARITY. AND YOu SHOuLD HAVE DEMANDED A MATERIAL BENEFIT FROM THE FuCKER. BOSS GIRLS. DO NOT BEND OR BEG. THAT IS WHAT MEN DO. YOu SHOuLD BE BETTER THAN THIS. MORE THAN THIS. WE WILL NOT HAVE THIS TALK AGAIN. AND YOu WILL NOT LARP AS AN OuTREACH PROGRAM. YOu KILL PEOPLE. IMMORTALLY. FOREVER.
you should! th1nk about 1t, bro... Can't get much better than that natural look... };)
i don't knowv if i should 8e taking grooming adwvice from the guy that shovwers 8isvweeply, 8ut i vwill think a8out it
novw i don't mind a little hair, don't get me vwrong ladies, i'll do the dirty vwork needed to get you off. 8ut you gotta make it vworth my wvhile, if i'm dowvn there for long enough my jawv starts aching you should reciprocate! at least givwe me a handjo8 or something! it vwon't take that long, and it's the polite thing to do
you could have just asked me directly, you know.
never said i wasn’t. and i never said that i would *if* you asked. however, if you want something dear, then you need to use your big boy words and beg me, like any proper good boy would. am i clear?
geez lady, you're talking like you're going to put me on a leash and make me 8ark! ma'am yes ma'am loud and clear
ma’am, dear. i’ll look into working in a time to getting you fitted for a collar in my schedule. ♥︎
vwish a 8road vwould shawve 8efore expecting me to put in a little tongue vwork. im finding hairs 8etvween my molars its like licking an old wvig. its unsanitary! and don't just lay there, participate a little! make a little noise, gra8 my horns! i need feed8ack if you vwant me to do my jo8 dovwn there! just don't touch the hair.
i'm no cowvard, i'll do it vwith a smile on my face 8ut if i'm finding pu8ic hair in my teeth after she could'a at least trimmed the hedges
MEN USED TO THROW ROCKS AT WINDOWS. FOR A GLIMPSE OF FERAL UNKEMPT NOOK. NOW THEY CRY. AND BEG FOR CULLMOMMY. IF THEY SEE A KERATIN STRAND. #SAD!
i havwe nothing against com8ing through the jungle, missy, 8ut if my tongue is doing the wvork i wvant the hedges trimmed
reasons to date me: im a caring and sensitivwe guy (and im a feminist) im attentiwve and doting im ill 8e you gifts and jevwellery ill pay for our food i owvn a pretty svweet scuttle8uggy 8iceps
phewv! i need to hit the showvers, don't miss me too much vwhile i'm gone, alright?
nothing 8eats an ice cold 8eer after a long day of pampering my 8eauty
think the front page of chittr.ing deserwves a good look at the nook8uggy after i polished her. man look at hovw she shines. you should hear her purr.
hey novw, no need to hate on the nook8uggy there, 8uddy. goes to shovw you hawve poor taste.
Oh, Please, My Taste Is Impeccable. Your " Nookbuggy " Looks Like It Makes Cartoonish Honking And Scurrying Noises.
she scurries and honks 8ut this kitten purrs, you should hear the engine wvhen she roars
As If I Would Ever Get Close Enough To So Much As Hear That Dreadful Thing.
you can hear her coming a fevw streets avway, i messed vwith her exhausted to really get her screaming vwhen wve ride
novw imagine me 8ent owver the 8onnet of your scuttle8uggy, all sudsed up. i'm polishing her, getting her nice and clean. hell imagine me getting all sudsy and wvet. my tank top is vwet too, its getting see-through. you can see my nipples poking through the fa8ric, and my manly gru8scars and my gills. you're laying 8ack in your folding chair on your lawvnring, reading the paper, something a8out a tragedy, nothing too shocking. just enough to keep your attention. for the most part. you're in a flirty little 8ikini of course. tight fitting, leavwing little up to the imagination. you're eyeing me vwhile i vwork. eyeing my tight ass in my short shorts wvhen i 8end ovwer to get the mirrors. you vwhistle. i 8lush. i say i don't havwe time to spare, i havwe places to 8e after this. 8ut i really need the money. #scenario #suggestiwve
DID YOU FORGET WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO. I'LL RIP YOUR BELLOWSACS OUT YOUR GILL SLITS. AND EAT THEM LIKE SASHIMI. EDIT: ONEGAIIII. 0u0
I’M WITH DAMZ, I WANNA SEE SOME MORE BEFORAN BUBBLE PORN Á LA GILLS. I’LL WEAR THE BIKINI, THOUGH. I’LL PLAY NICE.
hey dont get me too excited novw, 8a8e, i can 8lowv 8u88les 8ut vwhats in it for me?
YOU SAID IT RIGHT THERE IN YOUR OWN POST, WHAT, HAVE YOU GOT YOUR HEAD UP YOUR WASTECHUTE? BUT IF YOU NEED IT HAND FED TO YOU, I’LL OBLIGE. I GUESS. I GET THE NICE VIEW AND A PIÑA COLADA, AND YOU GET A RUB DOWN AFTER GETTING SOAKED BY A BIKINI-CLAD ONLOOKER. ONE WHO HAS A PRETTY NICE ASS, MIND YOU. I CAN WEAR PURPLE.
you got yourself a deal, you ogle me, i ogle you. novw i'm not agains't you vwanting to wvear my color 8ut that's mowving a 8it quickly for me novw. vwear green, or red.
cleaning the nook8uggy 8efore my date tonight im getting my girl nice and sudsy shes going to look 8rand nevw 8y the time im done wvith her
yeah vwell cant exactly call it the pussy vwagon on 8eforus i totally could 8ut my message wvould get lost on half the passengers
she is a looker, long sexy vwalk stalks on her. I lowve her. wvhat the hell is that thing.
That's three tons of autonomous American steel. Tell your bugmobile she's due for an oil change, I've got that high-octane AI slop she was begging for. Sent from my Cybertruck
american steel huh? could 8e quite the looker if it vwasn't for the eyesore stickers all owver that thing. i mean wvho decided that. and stop hitting on my 8uggy, she's all mine.
eh, she's not my type. i prefer that my 8roads exist in all three dimensions. you cant cop a proper feel if she's 2D.