♦ pitied by @tenebrousGuardian
Gosh I hope that I'm right about jade being judes daughter if I have a niece I'd be so happy and excited
Who knows.
Sometimes I’m pissed at him. I always miss him. Fucked ruined my life. #vague
What the fuck did I do something to offend you or something? Did you not like the quiche???
I got very lucky with connections today, wordle I swear I guessed every other possible combination of letters except the correct last one.
I'm also fond of orchids and lilies in general! I'm not much of a bouquet man, just one flower I can care for will be fine. However I cannot keep them in the house because my favourites are quite dangerous for cats!
You may think because I post about cloaca so often it’s because I enjoy it. But you’d be wrong and stupid. I am posting about it in spite. And so nobody forgets what this fucking game took from me. I am calling out the name of my arch fucking rival.
Ha ha. Well one of my dates didn't really go as planned but. But that's okay. I'm still grateful for the experience. She's was sweet as she is vicious, in my opinion. Even if it's completely one-sided now, I'll still be rooting for her.
Fuck me. I really did think shit like this back then didn't I? What a goddamn bozo I was. Shit, no wonder she threw me out to the curb. Surprised any gal could stand a jackass-a that magnitude.
Goin' for a walk.
... I can't pretend I didn't see this.
Hoping to go out on a date soon! All work and no play can make Serenity a dull girl! Thanks to Miss Lalonde I've found something I think fits me. I'm not quite used to wearing dresses though. I don't know how much skin is too much. At what point is something #NSFW exactly? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d3894f58f8f2.png
This cat's always lookin' like I owe him money when I'm just tryin' to eat my breakfast. You merely adopted bein' a freeloader, puss. I was BORN IN IT. Better get used to me bein' here.
I'm normal. I'm normal about you. I'm absolutely not havin' a harder time keepin' that normalcy under wraps. The very notion I'm not strikes me as ridiculous.
"#columbobignaturals" huh? ',:^]
Sitting here with my head in my hands as for once my words fail me. Woman too pretty. Too deeply in love. Words thought think feel hard can't speak type no good.
Don't like that. Don't like you saying that.
fuuuuuck i gotttta beeeee there but im in the hooooooooospital cuz i got shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot
Feels pathetic bein like the rest of you and existin without a purpose.
Thinking about that fuckass elephant again. Pisses me off.
i fEeL So mOtHeR FuCkInG LoNeLy, SoMe nIgHtS. :o) #ViBeS #fAiTh #HoNk
a viking fUneral down the river, so i'm told!
alas, he was lost before my time. his sacrifice, i'm told, was heroic.
Also oh shit I just got what you meant by "christen!"
Rox has a habit-a holding me to her chest in bed and if we fall asleep like this she don't let go it's like she's clingin' for dear life 'Prolly gonna suffocate in my sleep like that one day but until then hearin' her heartbeat and breathe all soft in her sleep is my personal sleep aide.
"Keep my wife's name outta your mouth. Me 🤝 Calliope
At a crossroads were I want to yearnpost like Larsko but if I do that her kids are absolutely going to see it and I think I'll finally hit my limit on what amount of shame I can feel if they see that shit. It was a lot easier to embarrass myself when I was a bachelor I dunno how they do it.
Not usually a fan of happy endings but I hope this eventually has one.
so the impression im getting is that this cronus character is like the chaz of chittr they same something and you just want to strangle them
thats really sweet of you uncle phil! and also a sufficient enough warning to not read whatever that post says!
i know, darling. i know. dms are always open if yoU want to talk. i've stUdied the great game inside and oUt, i like to think i have plenty insight to dole oUt. UuU
What the milfy skeleton said. The meteors from our session would have fallen anyway. Instead of an engineer though I think you were more like Jor-El sending little Kal off to hopefully make a life for himself somewhere.
the secret, love, is that the lever had already been pUlled by the time yoU landed on earth. yoU were not the platform operator, bUt the engineer - if yoU had sabotaged the train, it woUld only have derailed and killed all involved parties. i am sorry, love, bUt paradox space can be crUel. yoUr complicity was beyond yoUr control.
c< gOd fucKiNg daMNit.... >c
Phil...I'm going to message you.
I gotta ask some of you chittrfolk about this. Say you have a revolver. There's three shots in it. So a 50/50 shot at killing whoever you're shooting. You have to shoot someone you love in the head knowing those odds. If you don't, someone they love is going to die instead. Now imagine the person you hold most dear looking at you and telling you to pull the trigger just to spare this other person. The other person is telling you not to pull the trigger. What do you do in this situation?
iT rEaChEs A mOtHeRfUcKiNg PoInT wHeRe ThE pErSpEcTiVe CoNtRaRy To ThE lAdY wItH tHe LeVeR sCaRcElY mAtTeRs AnYmOrE. nOt BeCaUsE sHe StAnDs JuStIfIeD iN aPpOiNtInG hErSeLf A hArBiNgEr Of ObLiViOn, Of CoUrSe. BuT oBlIvIoN iS tHe VeRdIcT sHe HaS cHoSeN, aNd A dEcIsIoN tHaT fUcKeD eArNs A tErRiBlE kInD oF mOtHeR fUcKiNg GrAvItY aLl ItS oWn. WhAt UnSpEaKaBlE rUpTuRe Of ThE sPiRiT mUsT hAvE hOlLoWeD hEr ShIt OuT sO cOmPlEtElY tHaT tHe SlAuGhTeR oF bIlLiOnS bEgAn To SeEm LiKe A fAiR tItHe PaId FoR tHe PrEsErVaTiOn Of A pReCiOuS fUcKiN' fEw? :o(
Why do I fall for the bait?
I'm not getting involved in politics again. Wasn't fully appreciated the last time.
Concussion settled. Which means I can finally sleep on the missus' lap and rest my aching bones. Life hard, women soft....
I ain't goin' to the afterparty this time I'm sorry I'm headin' straight home Larkso beat my ass someone tell Karama hey for me.
I need Roxanne boob to live
Whatdya mean concussions can't be solved with whiskey what kinda fuckin' doctor is are those he people be.
Fuckin' yeah right it's a nice cock eat that COCK WIZARD show you who has an 8 pulchritude dick. #nsfw
I tried shouldering this burden alone but I guess it'd be obvious to anyone with two braincells, wouldn't it?
Knew it. #DoesHeWantMe
I gotta lay low fellas. If I go about my business I'm gonna get a collar around my throat and dragged away to God knows where if any more broads come out the woodwork tryin' to chain me.
Who the hell are you people even what'd I do to deserve any-a this?
The women on this website are fuckin' jumpin' me you guys gotta help.
DON'T RECHITT THAT IT'S EMBARRASSING.
AAAAAAAAAAA
One thing after after a fuckin' 'nother in this damn town.
I think that Snowman broad is a bad influence on you, Rox. I'm not so easily domesticated as they'd like to think I am, y'know?
Yes ma'am.... Wait, no! Not yes ma'am!
I am very conflicted about this idea considerin' who it's coming from.
I have addressed this in an official press statement this noon at Midnight City, but for those of you who are not tuned into our local politics: The Mayor of Midnight City was found assassinated in his vehicle two days ago. The details we cannot get into at this time as initial investigations are still ongoing. Midnight City will be holding an emergency election in the coming months to determine a new mayor. Until then the municipality has elected me Interim Mayor for the time being, in order to carry on our leaders ideals of Democracy. I have accepted this position, but cannot comment on our plans going forward at this time. Thank you for time and all of your support these past couple of days.
[ >THE FUCKING WIZARD THINKETH IT HAUVETH COVID #VAGUE #SUGGESTIVE_ ]
It's really God's cruelest joke that I get the biggest case I've had in years when I'd really much rather be spending it with the world's prettiest gal. It's gonna be a long week, I can feel it in my bones.
I think I'm going to take a nap for the next year if that's okay.
the galas drained out w/e remained of my social battery so now its tiem 2 mimir https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2b04a989819f.jpg
Can I make one post about my hobbies without 5 different people decidin to start shit.
I'm a bit beside myself at the sudden spike of interest in the charity ball but will remain undaunted! No dauntings here! No siree! I'm completely dauntless! The event will go down without a hitch and everyone will have a good time and NOT TRY TO ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT EVEN IF HE IS ASKING FOR IT FOR SOME REASON.
please just lie to me next time i just really need you to lie to me and tell me everythings going to be fine
I'm beginning to really wish Cinco de Mayo didn't exist so we could have had the ball on May 5th like intended because every time I see a post with someone saying they didn't know there was a gala happening I think I lose a year off my life.
I swear I need a flowchart of who I said what to when and weather or not I know a person... All very confusing. This flowchart would have to be on my person at all times... And would need to be editable so that rules out tattoo...
.yako ma I .retfa dna ,siht erofeb gniht rehto yreve htiw did uoy ekil tsuJ .ffo ti ekahs ,ecaps xodarap fo gnineppah rehtona tsuj sti ,em ekil elpoep rof lamron era sgniht eseht ,enif m'I .enif s'tI .kO .hgiS
>> ¡ ate a11 that waterme1on and then paડડed out for an actua1 etern¡ty ¡ th¡nk ¡'m gonna make ડome matcha m¡1k tea and try to ડcrounge up ડome rea1 food! #waterme1onpoડt¡ng? #¡f¡teverડeemડ1¡ke¡d¡ed #¡mprobab1ytak¡ng12conડecut¡ve #yetd¡ડt¡nct1y¡nd¡v¡dua1napડ
>> You are ડo comp1ete1y r¡ght ¡ don't th¡nk anyone cou1d come up w¡th a rea1 argument otherw¡ડe. A1though, ¡t'ડ poડડ¡b1e ડomeone haડ d¡ડcuડડed ¡t before, ¡'ve never ડeen ¡t.
I swear, every person I ever meet is too good for me. Dunno if it's the charms or just pure luck, but I've got too many good people in more corner and not enough ways to pay 'em back. Either way, I gotta call it a night. See ya everyone. #vagueposting
had a nightmare.
...Okay maybe a little. But after that he kept buggin' me up until I left afterwards so I think I was the the one in the pilot seat for our interactions for the most part.
Huh didn't get much done today actually. Ah well I'm sure there's always tomorrow. Got things to mull over anyway.
Man I shoulda gone to college. Women seem to love a cheesy, kinda portly guy with glasses who makes jokes about astrophysics and talk about how much they love their wife. The worst part is that they're completely in the right to, it's an uphill battle to compete with that.
A shame indeed.
>> ¡ w¡11!! ! ¡'11 do ¡t. Guyડ p1eaડe—
girll you need to llearn the noblle art of the "yes, and"
Sadly it's a luxury for me. Usually it's cold post-hangover showers for me. But I try to treat myself every now and again.
:o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires :o) I am a disgusting troll with disgusting desires
https://file.garden/acHvPwA0vHdP6DiO/Untitled17_20260412000852.png
oh.
I AM BEING SHOVED IN THE DARK GREEN ROOM FOR MY PRANKS AND JOKES I'VE PLAYED. IM SORRY ABOUT THE BEAR AND THE BOAR I RELEASED.
I'm going to be normal now. #normal #normalsprite
:(
:( WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME :(
Should have kept a harmonica in my inventory. The saxophone doesn't really fit the imprisonment aesthetic.
(( Hey, I'm curious! How many of you HAVE or HAVE NOT read the intermission / remember the intermission that introduced leprechauns? (( Gimme a pity if you know The Felt or a mediate if you don't
....Really not beating the uhaul allegations.
Pulled a muscle.
No no no no no no no no no no no. I can handle it.
Nah you can't just titillate a mother fucker and not share.
I don't believe so, no.
urrrghhh.... rrgrr ughhhhh i want 2 gouge my heart out w a fork rn #nsfw #nsfwe #gore
last timmmme i wwwwent out to thrashthrust proper i stepped on a pregnant rat
wen the unrequitted crush iss so bad its got u tossing n turning, wretching, sobbing, in agony, so on and so forth
okay actually maybe ill sleep in a bit this bitch is gonna haunt my fucking dreams https://i.postimg.cc/yNq69VZp/Screenshot-20260328-024310-Firefox.jpg
My wings only look bald because I'm molting.
just got my license suspended for chitting and driving
Everytime I post I feel like I'm a specimen.
It's always "poor Dave" and never "It was fucked up of Dave to bring you back after your honorable death and make you into a half bird freak that doesn't need to be alive in a doomed timeline where he'll to go back in time to erase you from anyways."
>([justice for my boi software wizard or as i call #im soft wizzy but big #onkers gandalf is pretty good too]
:33 < the cat wizard was robbed! >:·3
I am \/\/otin' fer Schmendrick from th'Last Unicorn.
ME. I WOULD WIN.
that doesnt fuckin explain anythin are alla you lunkheads jus dressin up in wwizardry gear and competing in interpretivve dance or wwhat
I need to stop playing stupid games (drinking milk) so I stop winning stupid prizes (remembering I'm lactose intolerant.)
> the m1gra1ne appr0aches #mygra1n
TALL ENOUGH SHOULD BE A PROPER ANSWER TO A HEIGHT QUESTION, FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT THINK SO!
I'm almost 30 and I feel old as dirt but fuck it we ball.