dstri
@timeskipGuydude
might be the real slim shady limp bizkit enjoyer
extraordinary bruce banning
theyre calling him chittrs least weird dave (im him btw. its me.)
i can and will get a good grade in being a dave so help me god
hm. yknow maybe i should just keep a habit of not scrolling even once i just get to see the text box to put the machinations of my beautiful and voluptuous thinkmeat on display just full on dick out balls too like its spring break in miami way too strong to be stopped by the cops like look whoops there goes florida man with his massive brainboner again this is why we cant stop him hes too smart for us to even hope of catching him god damn you floridaman #nsfw
sharty like a melody in my head
insert dat 1 super wet shart sound effect all the youtubers b usin
your boys got a major craving for mcdonalds sweet tea and ive found myself standing at an important crossroads vis a vis the eternal struggle of decision making like a big boy what do we think chat life (sweet tea) or death (no sweet tea) for dave
"its soccer week at crumbl" crumbl what the fuck is a soccer inspired flavor is it grass is it the ball is it a soccer players sweaty shorts is it the flavor of teamwork and friendship is it the flavor of sweat you cant just say this to me without elaborating otherwise my brains taking the wheel and hauling my ass to places i wouldnt go without cleats and a jersey
fuckin cats (2019) man no one told them to make that movie but they did no one told them to do freaky half-cat half-human amalgamate cgi that looks like something that crawled outta the darkest recesses of my childhood nightmares why the lead cat lady even look like that it haunted me more than playing hit game seaman for the sega dreamcast you remember seaman? pepperidge farms remembers that fishy fuck gave me some wacky ass looney tunes type existential dreams for a week and its still haunted me less than cats (2019) and jason derulo hanging dong on the big screen
the new burger kurger glup shitto meal
staring lin manuel miranda as the titular glup shitto (promo pic pending)
if you hit the clit and g-spot at the same time the pussy takes a screenshot #truthnuke #nsfw
man im taking mad screenshots up in this bitch going click click click click sounding like the shutter on a camera taking shot after shot filling up memory 64 gigs this shit aint nothing to me man
hOnK HoNk hOnK (o: tHaT'S WhY I LiKe yOu mAn, GoT ThAt mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHuTtErInG AnD StUtTeRiNg tIlL YoU FlAsH. fInGeRs oN ThE PuLsE Of tHe cOoLeSt mOtHeRfUcKeR ThIs sIdE Of tHe tEmPoRaL ReDlInE.
#ooc #pinned Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you are merely one of many who share your name. You reside on a version of EARTH C, somewhere out in the vast reaches of PARADOX SPACE. You and your friends won the game, and of course you did, you're the greatest to ever do it. Life is now pretty normal, or as close to normal as you can get while being a TIMELINE JUMPING GOD-KING. You prefer to take up an UNASSUMING PERSONA in your day-to-day life, though. No need to wear the fancy god tier pajamas out in public. You prefer to AVOID THE PUBLICITY where possible, an odd trait for a Dave, but you specifically have NEVER BEEN ONE FOR THE LIMELIGHT. At least, NOT IN PERSON. Online, though? You eat up ALL THE ATTENTION YOU CAN GET. Surely that means NOTHING taking into account your ROUGH CHILDHOOD filled with STRIFE and NEGLECT. You suffer from severe PTSD and have DISSOCIATIVE TENDENCIES from your ROUGH CHILDHOOD living with your BRO as well as THE GAME. No need to touch on that NOW of all times, though. That's talk for the THERAPIST'S CHAIR. You have taken up the "COPING MECHANISM" which draws from the wise words of SNOOP DOGG himself, "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY." Better to take on the world with dulled senses and a disconnect than to have to take it all in at once. Which is totally normal, by the way. On the topic of THE GAME, you were also MAGIC GOD-TIER TRANSITIONED when you ascended, giving you the "GOD-BOD OF YOUR DREAMS." You still kept the scars, though. All of them. You've taken up the chumhandle of timeskipGuydude because you find it FUNNY, along with a way of differentiating yourself in a sea of ALTS. NOTES - This Dave is associated with my Karkat @carcinoGeneticist#1380 because I have a disease This is a hard NO INCEST ZONE. You will end up blocked, no hard feelings but it is for my comfort as a writer Dave also is not particularly interested in the concept of "self-cest" as he finds it weird Dave is generally very wary around Bros, even online. If he were to meet one in person, it would likely be a one-way ticket to dissociation town, even if they're one of the "trying to be better" Bros. PTSD moment. #substance #abuse Art Src - kuzuuzuu on tumblr https://64.media.tumblr.com/c5448e94ec7392bade9fd40dc678f7cd/9cfaaabdc6d22207-a2/s1280x1920/93ffe9e1054e06dfa87e208ba8d746395e43f713.jpg
me in my lil ol dave corner doin my own thing while everything else around me is on fire and crumbling and filled with buzzsaws and chainsaws and knives and hammers that explode and shit ahhh reminds me of my youth good times good times
i hhatedd yyourr ppostt. not on ppurposee im ssorryy.
> 1 was g0nna say m00d but are y0u l1ke 0k
THE POWER OF MINDING OUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS IS INCREDIBLE. I THINK MORE PEOPLE SHOULD TRY IT.
its okay we all make mistakes and lil oopsies i forgive you
jumpscared by the worst song of all time on my mix the fuck are you doing to me youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EeTkF-SLxE
you bet your ass and my ass im listening to the whole thing through just to measure my abilities btw
anyone got the sparknotes for whatever the hell i waltzed in on on this fine wednesday. no. thursday night or am i just supposed to make inferences like im in a high school english class reading 1984 for the first time
or should i like continue to live in blissful ignorance
aye aye captain lemme just shuffle my happy lil ass right out the door back to reality whoa there goes gravity yadda yadda you know how this shit goes
https://media.tenor.com/UqTcP74fne4AAAAM/troy-community.gif
cable tv is incredible i just saw a beautifully animated anime style advertisement for some kind of prescription medicine
lord help me i drank two white monsters and let em create a third
ur mpreg?? (monster drink preg)
theres a beautiful baby monster bouncing around in me and it shall be born on the night of the full moon
the signs as uplifting and encouraging words from my bro ♈ - ♉ - ♊ - ♋ - ♌ - ♍ - ♎ - ♏ - ♐ - ♑ - ♒ - ♓ -
whys it all about "healing your inner child" i think my inner child wants revenge and im handing him a gun #darkwoke
she wacky on my zingo til i oh yeah thats the stuff
the gentle serenade of lou bega's mambo no. 5 reverberating through this mcdonalds makes me feel a way