♣ mediated by @arsenicCatnaps
IT'S A LONF STORY, BUT HERE'S THE SHORT VERSION: NOT BEING LITTLE COWARDLY BITCH AND ACTUALLY BEATING SGRUB.
Inside...? the only thing I'm inside is my head.
Isn't it fucked up an awful that every day the drones come into our hives and hold us at gunpoint if we don't sign onto chittr dot ing???? And they shoot your bulge clean off if you try curating your online experience even a little bit??? Really fucked up law, the Empress was on one when she put that one into practice I think.
Uhm! -O-O-kay. S-o-o- there are bumps and bruises t-o-o- be had all ar-o-o-und, but Larks-o-o-, J-o-o-ster, and Pascal are alright. And uhm..-O-O-bvi-o-o-usly Fl-o-o-rid isn't here. But uhm, yeah. I think this is a m-o-o-re delicate situati-o-o-n that brute f-o-o-rce will N-O-O-T help. I'm n-o-o-t g-o-o-ing t-o-o- say anything else ab-o-o-ut this in any public capacity.. EDIT: D-o-o-ttie is ALS-O-O- -o-o-kay!!! Just s-o-o-me -o-o-wies..
geez you blink around here and you miss a whole kidnapping (|:T gotta wonder when kidnapping will get old and well move on to like extortion or somethin???
Ok★y ★ctu★lly I c★n't think of ★nything funny, so no m★c★bre joke
drinking straight coffee creamer.
SINCE THE MOMENT HE WAS #KARKNAPPED. THE UNGRATEFUL BITCHLY WHINING. HAS BEEN OFF THE CHARTS. "I CAN'T BELIEVE. YOU TOOK ME BACK. TO THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING MUTANT PURGES. DAMARA." "HEY DAMARA. LET'S DO SINGLE COMBAT. NO POWERS. I'M FINALLY DEMONSTRATING ENTHUSIASM. ABOUT A SINGLE PART OF THIS COWORKERCATION. BUT IF YOU MANAGE TO INJURE ME. I'M GOING TO PITCH A WIGGLERFIT. ABOUT MY HIDEOUS BLOOD. AND RUIN THE EVENING." "BY THE WAY. DAMARA. I KNOW YOU HAVE PERMANENT FAVOR WITH ALL CLOWNS. WHICH FUNCTIONS IN PRACTICE. AS AN INFINITE MONEY HACK. ON THE WHOLE OF PLANET ALTERNIA. BUT I'D RATHER EAT COLD WET SLOP FROM A CAN. THAT'S BEEN LANGUISHING IN MY MODUS. FOR UNTOLD MILLENNIA. BECAUSE I AM AFRAID OF GOING OUTSIDE. SPORTING A MINOR SCRATCH. BUT NOT AFRAID TO SPIT IN THE FACE OF YOUR HOSPITALITY. AND. IN DOING SO. POTENTIALLY EARN MYSELF. A MORE SIGNIFICANT INJURY." "WAAH. UWAA. I WANT TO GO TO EARTH C-CAGO. ONLY THE SOPPING WET. INCH-THICK. HUMAN FUSION. DEEPDISC PIZZA. WILL SATISFY MY INFANTILE HUNGER." #YUCK. NO. NOT ON MY HISTORY FIELDTRIP. NOT WHILE WE HAVE ACCESS. TO THE FULL TIMELINE OF TROLL INGENUITY. THERE WILL BE NO HUMAN FUSION. WHILE I'M DRIVING THIS SCUTTLECOACH. AT LONG FUCKING LAST. I AM THRILLED TO REPORT. THAT CHALKBOX HAS BEEN PACIFIED. THE RAGES QUELLED. TO A BARE SIMMER. WITH A SLIGHTLY BURNT OFFERING. OF. WHAT HE IS CALLING. "THE BEST DAMN FLAVORDISC I'VE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF SHOVING DOWN MY THROAT." ALSO. WATCHING THE TROMAN EMPIRE COLLAPSE. AFTER A WEEKEND SPENT DODGING THEIR MOST ANNOYING INQUISITORS. DID NOT HURT. WHEN HE'S DONE SHOVELING NUTRIENTS INTO HIS GAPING SNAGGLEFANGED MAW. WE'RE GOING HIVE. YOU CAN CALL OFF THE SHOOTERS. WHO HAVE BEEN PITCHING FITS IN MY DMS. @carbolicGalvanologist. I'LL BE UNKARKNAPPING YOU SHORTLY.
KUDOS. LET'S RECREATE.
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ nnno. ]
EVERY MONDAY CAN BE #MAIDMONDAY. WITH AN INFINITE SUPPLY OF UNIFORMS. #APPLYNOW #YURIBAIT @veritysGleam
//random ooc post but I legit got so high last night that I forgot Obama was a real person and thought he was exclusively a Homestuck character because of this site #substances
I'M TAKING A BREAK FROM STUFFING MY HUNGER GASH WITH BARE MINIMUM NUTRITION SLOP (JUSTIFIED, I THINK I SHOULD ADD, BY ALL THE FUCKING DUCKING AND WEAVING AND SPRINTING FOR MY LIFE I'VE DONE SINCE MARA BROUGHT US BOTH TO ANCIENT ALTERNIA, SO WHO GIVES A FUCK HOW I GET THE CALORIES) JUST TO ANSWER THIS, BECAUSE I WANT TO GO ON THE RECORD TO DEFEND MY HONOR, HERE. FIRST OFF, TO ANYONE (INCLUDING MARA) WHO WANTS TO POINT A GNARLED, WRINKLY POINTSTUB IN MY DIRECTION AND LOOK NAUSEATED AT MY CHOICE OF COMFORT FOOD, TELL ME THAT YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO SPEND A PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME INDOORS DURING A DRONE SURVEILLANCE SURGE OR AN ESPECIALLY HIGH-ALERT CULL DISPATCH SEASON WITHOUT TELLING ME. HAVING NON-PERISHABLES AROUND YOUR HEMOANONYMOUS SECRET BASE IS NON-FUCKING-NEGOTIABLE. AND MISERY ACQUAINTS A TROLL WITH STRANGE CUPEFELLOWS. SOMETIMES, THAT CUPEFELLOW IS A COOL (NOT COLD, COOL) CAN OF THICK, CONGEALED, TANGY NIGHTSHADE-DERIVATIVE PASTE WITHIN WHICH ARE SUBMERGED SLIMY, VELVETY PILLOWS OF PITY THE LIKES OF WHICH EVEN TROLL ANTHONY BOURDAIN WOULD HAVE MORE TO JACK OFF ABOUT THAN EVEN I. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HEATING THESE BAD BOYS UP. YOU'LL RUIN THEM. HEAT WILL TURN RAVIDOLI INTO FLOPPY WET BLOBS SO FRAGILE THAT YOU CAN'T SPEAR THEM WITH A FORK - YOU JUST HAVE TO SCOOP THEM TENDERLY FROM THE BOTTOM LIKE YOU'RE CUPPING A LOVER'S FLACCID GLOBE IMPLANT. YOU DON'T WANT A FLACCID GLOBE. YOU WANT A RAVIDOLI *WITH* SOME FUCKING GLOBES. YOU WANT A FIRM, TOUGH, LEATHERY BASTARD THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE TOOTHSOME RESISTANCE YOUR GNASHCRAGS INHERENTLY DESIRE. YOU WANT THIS SHIT TO FIGHT YOU FOR ITS FUCKING LIFE. AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU WON. LIKE YOU BEAT SOMETHING. LIKE YOU'RE ALIVE, AND IT ISN'T. EVERY FUCKING TIME. AND THAT'S WHY I STILL DO IT. TO FEEL SOMETHING. SO THERE. THERE IS MY COMPREHENSIVE, NO-HOLDS-BARRED, OUT THERE IN THE FUCKING MOONLIGHT FOR ALL TO SEE ANSWER. AND IF YOU WANT TO LECTURE ME ON THE "MOUTHFEEL" OR ANY SUBSEQUENT QUALITY THEREAFTER, GO AHEAD AND SHOW ME YOUR CREDENTIALS IN EATING ANYTHING BUT FUCKING LUSUS NUGGIES AND GRUBSAUCE AND *THEN* WE CAN TALK.
JUST SEEN CHALKBOX EATING COLD CANNED DUMPLINGS IN GRUBSAUCE. STRAIGHT OUT OF THE THING. FOR CONTEXT. HE HAS ACCESS TO REAL FOOD. WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM. #YUCK. #KARKNAPPED. #GETTINGPRETTYSICKOFTHISFUCKINGTHING. #WHOWANTSHIM. #ABANDONMENTPLAY. #DEADBEATCULLDADDY. #IDONTWANTCUSTODYANYMORE. #PORRIMHELP.
cleanin chopsticks is weird why am i jerkin off a stick? #nsfw ish?
Sorry for not being active. They replaced me with Jonesy.
YES.
I d0nt kn0w i think my thinkpan is 0nt0 s0mething
IT'S BEEN APPROXIMATELY FIVE HOURS SINCE I WAS #KARKNAPPED. GOD DAMN THAT FUCKING CUEBALL FOR POSTING A LITERAL GUIDE TO THIS RIGHT BEFORE THIS HAPPENS. THAT LACQUER-POLISHED SHITFUCK MIGHT AS WELL HAVE DECLARED OPEN SEASON. I'M OKAY. HANDCUFFED TO THE LOUNGEPLANK, BUT OKAY. I GUESS THIS IS WHAT EMPLOYEE RAPPORT-BUILDING TIME LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE ON FORCED VACATION TIME. JUST DON'T FREAK THE FUCK OUT OVER ME TOO MUCH. I'LL GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO PICK A CUFF. OR I CAN FIND THE KEY. MAYBE SHE HID IT IN MY DIGESTION SAC, OR SOMETHING. I COULD START PUNCHING MYSELF UNTIL I COUGH IT UP. IT'S WORTH A TRY.
#KARKNAPPED! #BOYSNIGHT
-- [SYSNOTE: TEMPORAL BREACH] Future carbolicGalvanologist [FCG] joined the timestream. -- ATTENTION, PAST KARKAT. THIS IS FUTURE KARKAT. I'M GONNA CUT THE BULLSHIT — GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW, MAN. YOU'VE GOT MAYBE TEN, TWELVE SECONDS TOPS. I'VE WARNED YOU THAT YOU'D BE INDISPOSED. SHE IS LITERALLY BLOXGSVF SY HDOH FTBCKW BTEXWPXK TO YOU. OR HE IS. I DON'T KNOW. JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF BOYS NIGHT BEFORE SHE
Eats Your Hair And Makes You Bald Once Again.
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ what ]
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ dobby evensong. https://file.garden/ZaNs35zqMBk7KeGf/scratch5.gif ]
It simply had to happen I’m afraid.
just found out what a troll nook is. my pr team just collectively stood up from their desks. i can hear them from here. think one of them took my car keys as a precaution. only use that shit for lines anyway. nothings gonna stop me from bagging a baddie. #substance #suggestive #dirkydontlook #daddysgonnagogetsometrussy
alright.guys.i.had.an.idea gonna.be.making.a.real.#nsfw.series.for.yall.where.i.rate.machines.by.fuckability gonna.call.it.#zemfucks. yeah that.name.works first.things.first the.mcdonalds.ice.cream.machine we're.starting.with.the.sexiest.machine.i.could.possibly.think.of i.mean.its.got.a.hole.that.white.cream.comes.out.of.what.more.could.you.ask.for the.handle.is.long,.and.pulling.it.makes.the.cream.come.out like.i.dont.even.write.this.shit,.sometimes.the.handle.is.even.smooth.for.you.to.insert.to.yourself.wherever.makes.you.feel.happy so.obviously.we're.giving.this.sexually.deviant.cream.creator.a.10/10 https://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00sszvwkodpgon/mcdonald-ice-cream-machine-italian-ice-cream-machine-2021-new-design.webp
I AGREE!
I Cannot Keep Hitting The " Show Image Button ".
god I fucking hope so
see all these st∞ries ab∞ut ppl making great escapes fr∞m their capt∞rs and stuff and I had a clear sh∞t and had a panic attack when I stepped ∞ut ∞f the hive 😇✨ als∞ s∞metimes he's nice t∞ me.
I Need Someone To Put On A Pair Of Woofbeast Ears So I Can Pet Them To Relieve Stress. Also You Have To Be Naked, Do Not Worry About That. #nsfw #nsfc
you invite mmmme to a party and i showwww up and immmmmmmmediately start blair wwwwitching it in the corner
i could scoliomog you
dont make this weird but hes posed up kinda femininestyle in this kinda tea
Good Light And Magic Blast!! m!a: For One Hour, You Feel Compelled To Share Personal Or Intimate Facts About Yourself! #suggestive #magicanon♡♤◇♧
i think hes gonna wwalk the plank straight off this ship
:33 < yes!!! :33 < i did but im just f33ling lonely and reminiscent i guess.
this aint about me didnt you read the chit trashbeast tailed oli i clearly STATED that im askin for a friend
excellent idea. folks, consider touching the zapper 'wet hands style'.
As A Scholar Once Said, " Trolls Is Bugs ".
gotta_touch_em
i_would_like_to_touch_the_bug_zapper_too_*<:)_it_sounds_invigorating_#cw-self-harm
D---> But me and him have...come to an agreement on certain things nepeta.
D---> Because I have plans I won't elaborate on.
Florid Said I Can Do Whatever I Want, So I Am Going To Bite The Bug Zapper. :> #mybite #cw-selfharm? #positive
D---> Chittr...is it perhaps, bug zapper time? #suggestive
Matcha du6ai ch9c9late la6u6u u6e d9t cake k9rean chewy c99kie
Mixing Everclear and Malort, brb. #substances
I do need to learn some Hope bullshit, though
>:33 < *ac holds a gun up to mewr head* >:33 < stop
THIS IS SO FUCKED UP TO SAY ABOUT INNOCENT GUTTERBLOODS SUCH AS MYSELF. CAN WE GET THREE TO FIVE KANKRIS IN HERE. TO EXPLAIN TO YOU. AT GREAT LENGTH. WHY YOU CAN’T TALK LIKE THAT. PINK BABY.
DAMN. 15K KULT EXACTLY. NOT LIKE IT MATTERS. 15K IS CHUMP CHANGE, THESE DAYS. THE FUCKING POCKET LINT OF ANYONE ON THIS SITE WHO CHITTS MORE THAN ONCE A FUCKING NIGHT IS MORE THAN THE ENTIRETY OF MY DIGITAL NET WORTH. I GUESS I SHOULD DO SOMETHING, REGARDLESS. LIKE I DON'T DO ENOUGH, SLAVING AWAY OVER A HOT PROJECTOR SCREEN. PROTECTING THE TIMELINE FROM EXTRADIMENSIONAL MILDEW AND BLACK MOLD. FUCK IT. I'LL DO ANY "QUIZ," "TEST," "ASSESSMENT," OR "INDEX" OF CHITTR'S CHOICE. MOST LIKED COMMENT WINS. WHO GIVES A FUCK.
I LOST MY HORSE
Would you like ★ lemon in this trying time?
https://64.media.tumblr.com/0b0e4213447a0605224c7eb50b3de795/cb158278277e48e4-b8/s640x960/00b791b509eed5723461612fa2b46b76afed5208.png
I'M A FIRRRIN MA LAZERRR... ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣽⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿⠛⠊⠉⠛⢿⣿⣼⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠏⢁⠈⠉⠉⠁⢀⣠⣀⡀⠀⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⢷⣶⣤⣶⠹⢇⣻⠏⠶⣄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠂⠐⠁⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣉⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣷⣷⣧⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠛⠋⠉⢩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⡿⠿⣧⠸⣿ ⠋⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠅⠀⠀⠀⣾⠿⠀⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣻⡫⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢻⠿⠋⣀⠴⣥⣀⣠⣤⣄⣴⣷⠭⠀⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⡿⠛⠉⣁⣠⠀⣠⣴⣿⡏⠐⢻⡻⣸⢯⣿⡽⠋⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠛⡉⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
*ac bit through their stim toy FUCK*
I FEAR THEY'RE GOING TO POP A BULGE BONER #NSFW
What if my big bad and your big bad were both cringe as fuck and then they fell in love and then they ran away to be together forever.
I hope they've written a happy ending for you.
[This post was found to be in violation of ICE-E P"E"zza & "E"ntertainm"E"nt company policy, and has been removed in accordance with the Social M"E"dia Pract"E"ces guideline's.]
stop breathing
II2 miind control morally dubiiou2 iif you con2ent two iit? What iif II LIIKE beiing miind controlled? What are the moral que2tiion2 wiith that? Am II ju2t weiird?
Somebody got hit in the boingloings! Hit in the boingloings! Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them.
HOWW DO I DELETE MY POST.. I FEEL LIKE A CUCK WWATCHIN THIS ARGUEMENT #nsfw ??
They told me to "8ite the 8ullet", and so I fucking did, next thing you know, I'm a8le to spit those fuckers 8ack at the opps while looking like Yoshi, shitting an egg and all. Very surreal experience. I AM my own 9 now.
help my chat keeps impregnatin me
how are you horny AND have a smart fridge
God, fuck. Finally.
pretty sure. my crotch is wet right not (FROM THE BEER) and mentally i have never been stronger.
*Pours my green liquid in the w★ter supply*
SeeIng bro go Im jerkIng my dIck crazy style #nsfw sandwhIched between trollbama retIrement posts Is brIngIng tears to my eyes. []<
:33< *the mighty huntress stands stone still dabbing once fur 3 furames then repurrning instnatly to her mewtral pawsition*
I was having such a lovely evening working on this puzzle with my wives and some of the in laws and now I'm just thinking about the flesh cave. It was a ginormous cavern made from human and troll flesh with walls covered in eyes and mouths that tried to eat all that attempted to venture through it...I can't say I would recommend a visit. #horror #body-horror
I WILL SEEK OUT AND DESTROY ALL MENTIONS OF THIS INSIPID TAG IF IT'S THE LAST FUCKING THING I DO.
xx_@barackObama_🤔 https://iili.io/BPm2RDB.png_xx
ii wwant hate only!!