Serrik Vanthe
@automatedMalpractice
you are checking my biography. you won't find anything. // that I care to leave in the open.
[unverified] you'll just have to trust me on this. [upload]§ [There is a picture of Serrik. He is a large troll in basically every direction. He is tall enough to make his office furniture look undersized. He is broad through his shoulders and chest, carrying enough weight around his stomach and hips that there's nothing particularly sharp about his silhouette. He has a distinctively powerful build. Given his profession as a private investigator, one might assume he uses this to overpower you into answering his questions. Though, given the number of tape recorders and notepads about, his mental fortitude is of little question. Then again, he is almost akin to a bear in appearance. Thick forearms, heavy hands, broad fingers, and a slight hunch from spending too much of his time over his husktop. Additionally, there is somewhat of an abundance of dark body hair visible wherever his clothes permit. His horns are relatively short and sturdy. They sweep outward before hooking slightly upward, thick enough at the base to suit the rest of his large frame without giving him anything elegant. His face is similarly broad. He has a heavy jaw mostly lost underneath a dense and fuzzy black beard. It is maintained, but not sculpted. He trims it often enough that it never becomes truly wild. However, there are always a few extra hairs poking out along his cheeks and chin. His mustache has a habit of falling slightly over his upper lip as he talks. His hair is thick, black, and a little too long for whatever professional standard he is maintaining. Usually, it is pushed backward with his fingers rather than professionally, or even properly, styled. By the end of the workday, it has separated into loose waves and stubborn tufts around his horns. His eyebrows are thick. His eyes are rather tired, with the persistent darkened look of someone who spends his nights and lights looking at disk images and packet captures. His resting expression appears severe. He dresses professionally, but like a professional who has accepted that he will never be immaculately presented. A dark teal button-down stretches comfortably across his torso, its sleeves rolled to his forearms after about 30 minutes of work. Black trousers and a set of teal and black woven suspenders give a checkerboard appearance. His heavy shoes are the greatest deceiver about him, for they are host to his rather silly socks featuring scalemate iconography. His collar is one button more open than it probably should be. He has abandoned his jacket entirely, presumably because he runs warmer for his caste. His tie is loosened and hanging crookedly, bearing a simple black-plaid pattern. He wears a pair of golden rectangular glasses sitting low on his nose, with similarly golden chains disappearing from the arms behind his head. His office is the distinction between the troll and his workspace. He is unkempt; his workplace most certainly is not. The desk is enormous, accommodating both him and his hardware. Three monitors dominate the back plane behind him. Each of them is blurred for privacy reasons. Beside them is a set of external drive docks, write blockers, adapters, card readers, cables, and pieces of equipment incomprehensible to anybody outside of his profession. Even then, his coworkers likely don't know what they do. Each cable is labeled. Each storage device is labeled. Each evidence drive is labeled multiple times. There is a battered mechanical keyboard by his hands, the legends on several keys worn completely off. His mouse is large enough to sit comfortably in his palm, looking to be an imitation of a squeakbeast. His mug sits nearby, placed in the one section of his office without electronics, with a coaster beneath it. Paper case files occupy one side of the block in filing cabinets, arranged with neurotic precision. Physical evidence sits in a series of secretary boxes, all numbered. Old devices rest behind him. Husktops, cameras, phones, memory cards, datacylinders; nothing is allowed to be fully anonymized here. Even his adapter tray has dividers. However, the reflective window pane in the rear of the room deceives even him. His coat has been thrown over the back of a chair instead of hung up. A spare shirt is folded badly on a cabinet because he once spilled coffee on himself during a client meeting and decided never again. There is a blanket rolled up beneath the desk that began as lumbar support and occasionally becomes an actual blanket when he works too late. One drawer contains enough packaged snacks to survive a localized infrastructure collapse. A beard comb sitting next to his evidence label printer was likely left there weeks ago. His office lighting is deliberately low. Desk lamps are used instead of bright overhead fixtures, partly because he spends most of his time looking at screens and partly because he simply prefers being somewhere dim and enclosed. Combined with his size, beard, rolled sleeves, monitors, shelves of mysterious hardware, and the steady clicking of the keyboard, it gives the office the feeling of walking into some enormous creature's den.]§
"Fatfuck Friday"? are other big people just obsessed with putting themselves down? that seems like an inopportune name. hey guys. let's do mass monday. or supersize me sunday. or saturn sized saturday.§
literallie all that other shit you said is ten fuckin million times worse an you know that 1: was originallie fat boie fridaie but that aint gender inclusive 2: fat fuck fridaie got alliteration which makes it catchier 3: its fun 4: you aint gotta use it like if it aint fit you you absolutelie can use somethin else live your best life
oh for sure yeah theres the fetishists an i aint saiein i like that neither lmao but i think theres also somethin to be said for like... bitin back a lil too hard when other fat ppl wanna do a thing jus cus you aint like it i get it tho but like fr just... start usin #fatfridaie instead if you wanna its totallie fine you are allowed to do that hashtags onlie get made cus someone's usin them ykno?
wHAT ABOUT, fAT tUESDAY? i ALWAYS, eNJOY THAT HOLIDAY,
people are gonna come for you for that but i agree cant we be happy about ourselves without an (admittedly funny) insult about it???
[reported] management has decided to make up their recent mistakes with an oblong meat tube party. that's one way to make it better.§
the heat is on in only my office.§
:33 < the heat is on outside too so.
[unverified] that little robot is doing another one of those #goreglewrapped things tolight. i wonder who can disturb him the most with their search history?§
@automatedMalpractice could not be reached for comment in advance of publication. 🌐 how to recover overwritten files 🌐 how overwritten is overwritten actually 🌐 forensic recovery ssd trim 🌐 can trim be reversed 🌐 no really can trim be reversed 🌐 client says they definitely deleted it 🌐 how to professionally say no you didn't 🌐 Hivemurmur known bugs 🌐 Hivemurmur undocumented bugs 🌐 Hivemurmur bugs developers refuse to acknowledge 🌐 Hivemurmur bug tracker 🌐 Hivemurmur internal bug tracker 🌐 Hivemurmur internal bug tracker leak Put me in, coach. I'll get your shit deleted. Or recovered. Or whatever the hell you want. 🌐 this is not hacking definition 🌐 difference between inspecting source and penetration testing 🌐 how many times can you say not hacking before it sounds like hacking 🌐 Chittr page source 🌐 Chittr privacy policy 🌐 Chittr data minimization 🌐 why does website need my internal account identifier 🌐 why does website need everyone else's internal account identifier 🌐 responsible disclosure template 🌐 responsible disclosure template less threatening 🌐 responsible disclosure template that does not sound like extortion 🌐 “please do not delete my account” professional wording 🌐 what information can be inferred from a username 🌐 username opsec mistakes 🌐 old username search 🌐 cached username search 🌐 archive search old usernames 🌐 serrik_the_vant 🌐 "serrik_the_vant" 🌐 "serrik_the_vant" -Serrik 🌐 how long until search engines forget something Lol. Lmao, even. 🌐 palmhusk location spoofing methods 🌐 credential replay location telemetry 🌐 faraday cage long range antenna 🌐 public flight vehicle registries 🌐 how to identify vehicle from partial tire tracks 🌐 psionic tracking accuracy 🌐 how much should private investigator charge for interplanetary travel 🌐 coworker keeps asking if i have a matesprit 🌐 is asking coworker about quadrants workplace harassment 🌐 how to tell coworker to mind his own quadrants professionally 🌐 can HR force you to disclose quadrant status 🌐 matesprit monday census data 🌐 imperial census covert collection methods 🌐 matesprit monday government operation 🌐 “matesprit monday” imperial statistics 🌐 correlation does not imply causation but sometimes it obviously does 🌐 signs someone is flirting with you 🌐 client keeps calling investigator handsome 🌐 professional discount flirting ethics 🌐 is one caegar discount flirting 🌐 normal private investigator hourly rate 🌐 pretty troll discount industry standard 🌐 can you expense dinner with attractive client 🌐 delete search history 🌐 correction preserve search history as evidence 🌐 large office chair weight capacity 🌐 office chair reinforced frame 🌐 desk chair squeaking under large troll 🌐 suspenders professional workplace 🌐 beard comb office appropriate 🌐 gold glasses chain professional 🌐 shirts for broad shoulders large stomach 🌐 why does every button down become casual after thirty minutes DM. 🌐 strongest hot bean water 🌐 maximum caffeine recommended tealblood 🌐 caffeine recommended private investigator 🌐 caffeine recommended private investigator awake 31 hours 🌐 coffee mug near evidence electronics safety 🌐 spillproof evidence room mug 🌐 coffee stains chain of custody 🌐 ribs left in scuttlebug 100 degrees 🌐 ribs left in scuttlebug 2 hours 🌐 ribs left in scuttlebug 4 hours 🌐 ribs left in scuttlebug overnight 🌐 can reheating kill everything 🌐 symptoms food poisoning 🌐 how quickly food poisoning starts 🌐 hot car technically slow cooker 🌐 no #Yuck. 🌐 coworker stole lunch legal response 🌐 is shutting off office di-fi retaliation 🌐 is shutting off office di-fi proportionate response 🌐 how to prove coworker stole lunch 🌐 fingerprints sandwich wrapper 🌐 chain of custody sandwich 🌐 workplace theft investigation billable hours 🌐 company cancelled corporate card 🌐 company cancelled corporate card while investigator in field 🌐 can i expense literally everything 🌐 expense policy malicious compliance 🌐 mileage reimbursement colony rates 🌐 meal reimbursement maximum 🌐 beard comb business expense 🌐 external write blocker business expense 🌐 twenty external write blockers business expense 🌐 “operational necessity” definition 🌐 am i a twink 🌐 twink definition 🌐 maximum weight twink 🌐 can a bear be a twink 🌐 bear gay slang troll 🌐 why did Goregle autocomplete that \></ #GoregleWrapped
Sup.
eelmaooooo and you sa1d m1ne was bad
company cancelled corporate card wh1le 1nvest1gator 1n f1eld they gonna tell ya to walk da plank bro
[observed] my job cancelled my work credit card. expensing everything.§
all of these posts about food and i left my ribs in my scuttlebug in 100 degree heat.§
i have a strange feeling about this website. // most websites.§
[flirting] that'll be 45 an hour for this investigation. but for you. [unverified] pretty trolls pay 44 an hour.§
would you like to know the downsides of any software? i've got an itch.§
interested in this sgrub everyone talks about. seems like interesting software. busy with my own projects though.§
best to leave it, reall7.
[unverified] matesprit monday is an imperial operation to gather somewhat accurate census data regarding copulation rates.§
[observed] my lunch was stolen from the communal thermal hull. [observed] turning off the di-fi for the rest of the office.§
i believe it is pretty fair to say i am not a twink.§
my old online username was serrik_the_vant before i knew that it basically told people who i was. only sharing it again now because it is entirely scrubbed from the splinternet. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/067787530d11.png§
[CASE 0079] software: Hivemurmur date examined: 7/29/2026 scope: publicly documented defects status: functional, according to the lowest accepted definition [scope] Hivemurmur does not maintain a complete public defect registry. instead, it maintains a support hive containing active bugs, resolved service failures, obsolete operating cocoons, hardware limitations, and problems the development brood has simply decided will continue living. additional records are scattered between monthly repair notices, the service pulse monitor, and a Subhive thread where users perform unpaid quality assurance. I have consolidated what can be verified. internal grubtickets, deleted reports, unannounced experiments, and failures classified as intentional behavior cannot be included. [video playback] the desktop husk cannot play videos measuring fewer than 64 pixels along either edge. the file is valid. the decoder refuses it. Hivemurmur uses hardware-only decoding and does not fall back to a software decoder when the video is too small. users are instructed to download the file and open it through another viewscreen program. [assessment] the video is playable until Hivemurmur is asked to play it. [Hemotech graphics crash] users running Hemotech Microdriver 26.5.1 on PaneOS may have Hivemurmur crash, close, or refresh when launching a game. Hivemurmur attributes this to a Hemotech driver regression. [workaround] install a different driver. [assessment] the communications program terminates when the activity it was opened to accompany begins. [game overlay] the legacy game overlay remains unreliable. the replacement overlay has no stable release date, does not function in true fullscreen, disappears when the game loses focus, and behaves differently depending on whether the user shares a program window or the entire display. users are advised to use borderless fullscreen. the legacy overlay remains available for games that reject the replacement overlay, until Hivemurmur removes it. [assessment] two broken overlay systems now coexist because each fails in a different environment. [chat editor] Hivemurmur’s official defect hive still references a chat editor report last updated in 2022. listed problems include: large amounts of emotes or mentions causing input lag. text faces failing to convert into emotes. mentions that cannot be clicked. streamer concealment exposing old account sigils in tooltips. manually entered mentions and emotes failing to convert into interactive objects. autocomplete displaying raw account-number syntax. incorrect detection of whether the cursor is inside a code block. incorrect formatting around leading whitespace. Pyrefox moving the cursor to the beginning of the editor after focus changes. Hivemurmur also lists several permanent defects: multiline formatting receives no editor styling. right-to-left text breaks incorrectly in compact mode. triple-click cannot select lines containing mentions or emotes. regional sigils fail to combine into flags. syntax highlighting may stop on the final line of a code block. mentioning yourself does not highlight the message. [assessment] this is not a backlog. it is a protected ecosystem. [obsolete operating cocoons] the defect hive also contains retirement notices for: PaneOS 7. PaneOS 8 and 8.1. 32-bit PaneOS. PomeOS 10.15. PomeOS 11. PomeOS 11 support ended on June 15, 2026. newer Hivemurmur builds may refuse to launch. users must install a frozen client, use a browser, or upgrade their operating cocoon. [correction] ending support for an operating cocoon is not a software defect. placing retirement policy beside active bugs damages both categories. [Ceruleetooth audio] audio quality may drop when joining a call through a Ceruleetooth headset because the device switches into a low-quality speaking profile to support microphone input. both the headset and palmhusk require compatible Low-Energy Ceruleetooth support to avoid this. [correction] this is a Ceruleetooth limitation. it is still filed as a Hivemurmur bug. [sight-reader navigation] users of the Sightless Seer reader cannot press Enter to expand the server tree. Hivemurmur attributes this to a change made by the reader in 2020 and instructs users to press the alternate command instead. [assessment] a six-year-old interaction change remains filed among current defects. [status unclear] “screenshare audio fails to capture Shinybrowse” remains listed. “messaging API errors” also remains listed, despite the associated incident being marked resolved in 2024. [assessment] an entry existing in the defect hive does not prove that the defect still exists. the user must excavate that information separately. [ChitinOS interface geometry] current ChitinOS reports describe settings pages failing to account for the system navigation bar. buttons, logs, text, and blocking controls may become hidden beneath the bottom interface. most affected pages were reportedly repaired in an alpha brood, although Authorized Apps remained partially obstructed. custom text scaling may also reset parts of the interface to 100 percent after rotating the device or changing applications. this leaves Hivemurmur displayed at two scales simultaneously. [assessment] the interface is attempting to crawl underneath the operating cocoon. [unread markers] ChitinOS users report that unread markers beside servers disappear after closing and reopening the application. opening one server restores that server’s marker. the others remain falsely marked as read. [impact] the server list cannot reliably identify unread servers. [profile and server images] server icons and profile images may stop loading on ChitinOS. reopening the application may temporarily restore them. repeated failures can eventually make the restart workaround ineffective. [Spasmstream emotes] animated emotes imported through Spasmstream integration may become static images. uploading the same file directly to Hivemurmur reportedly preserves the animation. [inference] the file remains valid. the integration pipeline is altering or misdelivering it. [email migration] users may become trapped while changing their account email. after verification, reason selection, password entry, and completion of the culldroid challenge, the interface may return to the beginning without reporting success or failure. [impact] users losing access to school or workplace mailhives may be unable to migrate their account. [LususKernel updates] users of LususKernel operating cocoons report repeated update prompts despite changes intended to improve updating. some TinkerShell users report that every Hivemurmur update rewrites the autostart entry and removes the command that keeps the program minimized. [assessment] Hivemurmur successfully updates itself and updates the user’s preferences out of existence. [channel-status emote picker] the emote picker used for setting a voice-channel status may open as an empty window. opening the normal message emote picker first causes the channel-status picker to begin functioning. [inference] the second picker depends on initialization performed by the first. [input latency] some desktop users report keystrokes taking ten to sixty seconds to appear. one major report involved PaneOS 8.1, which is unsupported. [status] observed behavior. unsupported environment. exact responsibility unclear. [palmhusk loading failures] Imperial PalmOS users report Hivemurmur opening into an endless loading screen. settings and profile pages may display only an empty grey panel. other devices on the same network may function normally. [capture-card audio] a PaneOS user reports that Hivemurmur stopped capturing audio from a Blackclaw 4K capture card during screen sharing. Scryglass Broadcaster and other programs continued receiving the same audio. the failure reportedly affects both window sharing and full-display sharing. [invisible presence leakage] a user marked Invisible reports that joining a voice channel sends notifications telling friends that the user is online and has entered the room. [impact] the concealment setting may be bypassed by a separate notification system. [linked spoilers] on ChitinOS, identical spoiler text placed in separate fields may share the same reveal state. tapping one reveals both. [inference] spoiler elements may be identified by their contents rather than by unique element identity. [assessment] two secrets containing the same words are considered one secret. [embed thumbnails] thumbnail images inside embedded messages may be visible but non-interactive on ChitinOS. tapping or holding the thumbnail selects the surrounding embed instead of opening the image. [assessment] the image functions as decoration until someone attempts to view it. [resolved: ChitinOS screenshare audio] between approximately April 7 and June 22, 2026, a Viewgrub defect could disable Hivemurmur screenshare audio after an advertisement appeared. streams became silent and could temporarily recover after restarting the device. the defect was later marked resolved. [resolved: automated culling] from May through early July 2026, a safety-system defect caused some accounts cleared during harmful-content review to be culled anyway. the same defect could prevent automatic reversal of the punishment. approximately 8,400 accounts were reported affected before restoration. [severity] critical. a missing icon inconveniences a user. a false safety action removes the user from the platform. [resolved: July service failures] July 10: partial API and payment failure. July 16: major API errors caused by upstream latency. July 22: voice connections failed. July 27: logins and direct-message delivery failed or became delayed. all incidents were marked resolved. [assessment] Hivemurmur remained operational for most of July, interrupted only by the occasional loss of payment processing, voice, authentication, messages, or the API. [recently repaired] July repair notices list defects involving: JadeVision graphics connection leaks on LususKernel. Hivemurmur stealing focus from games during PaneOS startup. mouse input failing after rapid client refreshes. search dates advancing by one day whenever reopened. dialogue boxes locking the entire client. invite codes being discarded on Imperial tablets. ChitinOS controls hiding behind navigation bars. stale forum lists. missing archived-thread results. invisible buttons. duplicate thread-opening messages. incorrect billing displays. broken accessibility focus. clipped unread indicators. lost message drafts. numerous failures involving contrast, alignment, scrolling, notifications, profiles, media, voice, screen sharing, and sight-reader support. [warning] repaired does not mean extinct. several reports describe defects returning after previous fixes. [final assessment] Hivemurmur’s public defect tracking consists of: one support hive with unreliable status labels. one pulse monitor for service outages. one monthly list describing repairs after deployment. one Subhive thread filled with reports of inconsistent quality. one internal grubtracker containing the information users actually seek. this makes it difficult to determine whether a failure is active, repaired, regressed, unsupported, accepted, experimental, or simply old enough that the responsible developers have stopped looking directly at it. [recommended correction] publish one searchable defect registry. give each issue a permanent identifier. record affected builds, operating cocoons, first observation, last reproduction, severity, workaround, repair status, and regression history. separate active bugs from outages, hardware limitations, unsupported systems, and intended behavior. link repair notices back to the original issue. label reports as submitted, reproduced, confirmed, rejected, or repaired. [observed] the software functions. [observed] the documentation functions separately.§
i'VE always been saying this, actually.
[reported] "you can track their palmhusks since it's on!" [unverified] it could be a device spoof using ripped credentials to throw you off. [unverified] it could be a delayed messaged. [unverified] could be in a faraday cage with a long range focused antennae wired in for the device to be in one area but reported as another. not to mention vpns. [unverified] it could be any number of things. besides, who has access to that sort of network? [observed] usually highbloods. [unverified] and some scrupulous sorts. [observed] these things tend to work out with little lasting impact. [observed] that's no reason not to attempt to help anyway. you should really be contacting any particularly capable psionic users or trolls with tracking capabilities. [observed] too many trolls just walk from point a to point b. if they drove, check for tracks. [unverified] if they used a third mode of transport such as flight, consult public vehicular flight catalogs.§
3 measly hours until i report back to my hive. but an hour of that is the commute.§