KARKAT
@carcinizationGenesis
UTTERLY DELUSIONAL POLYMATH AND A RESIDENT OF EARTH-Z. ONLY HERE AS A FAVOR TO A FRIEND. PROBABLY NOT FROM YOUR UNIVERSE, DON'T ACT LIKE I AM, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.
BEEN IN MY HEAD TOO MUCH LATELY ABOUT SHIT THAT LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER. I NEED TO GO TO DAMN SLEEP.
YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAME HERE IN THE MIDST OF ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTICAL SORTS OF EVENTS EVER CONCEIVED, AND I DON'T YET HAVE AN EASY, IMMEDIATE WAY TO GET OVER THERE, NOR THE MEANS TO PUT TOGETHER A WORTHY LAST-MINUTE COSTUME, AND NO ONE EVEN TOLD ME UNTIL JUST NOW? I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. I TRUST NONE OF YOU. THIS IS SO FUCKED.
i said i'm SORRY i didn't mention it before!!
IMMATURE ASSHOLE CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY NAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH FOR A FEW HOURS.
FIRST I GET FOLLOWED BY A HOMUNCULUS VERSION OF MYSELF, AND THEN I GET FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE (NOT NAMING NAMES) WHOSE LAST FEW POSTS WERE ABOUT GETTING HIS BULGE SUCKED. CHITTR IS A PLACE. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL MY JADE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES HERE WHEN THEY'RE ALL LIKE THIS?
IT'S PART OF HER RESEARCH. I CAN'T JUST TELL HER ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING. I PROBABLY WILL TRIM OFF THE UNNECESSARY FAT THOUGH, SPARE HER FROM THE GRUESOME, STICKY, GYRATING DETAILS ABOUT THE CONTENT CONTAINED HERE, EXCEPT IN VERY BROAD AND VAGUE STROKES. I'M NOT GETTING INTO ALL OF THE DETAILS PEOPLE SHARE HERE ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL LIFE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE VARIOUS WAYS THEY LIKE TO GET THEIR BULGE WET.
<action; statement input; statement: once the masquerade ends, i expect peop|e wi|| be posting their outfits & a|iases input; statement: so that cou|d be a nice change of pace />
THAT'LL BE A WELCOME CHANGE IN FORM. FOR NOW, THOUGH, ITS HOMUNCULI AND BULGE SLOBBERING. AND APPARENTLY MY ANNOYING EX WHO CAN'T LEAVE SHIT ALONE. GOD HELP ME.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO I'M SERIOUS, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT??
OKAY??? THEY GREW SOME OF MY FRIENDS IN A JAR, AND THEY TURNED OUT FINE. PHYSICALLY, AT LEAST.
Okay? Good for your friends. We can't all be lucky.
PICKING A FIGHT WITH JADE RIGHT WHEN SHE STARTS HER EVIL ARC. I'M FUCKED.
DON'T TELL ME THOSE ARE THE KILLER PAWS OF BLOOD AND DEATH AND PURE, UNADULTERATED EVIL? (THE K.P.B.D.P.U.E.)
YOU TRY AND GIVE A GUY SOME GRACE AND HE TAKES IT OUT BACK AND SHOOTS IT WITH A SAWED OFF SHOTGUN IN FAVOR OF VAGUEPOSTING ABOUT YOU.
give me grace? you? give me grace? dont make me fucking laugh dude
I'M TRYING NOT TO MAKE THIS A FUCKING *THING*. SOMETHING YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT, MR. CAN'T MIND HIS OWN DAMN BUSINESS TO SAVE HIS GODDAMN LIFE. CAN YOU GET OFF MY BULGE ALREADY, OR DO YOU INTEND TO RIDE THIS SHIT TO ABSOLUTE COMPLETION?
you fucking made it my business when you l i t e r a l l y followed *me* dude
BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO BE FUCKING COURTEOUS?? I FOLLOWED JOHN, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, JUST PRETEND YOU DON'T EXIST? YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I SEE WHEN I OPEN UP HIS PROFILE. YOU KNOW, I THINK THE STICK YOU SHOVED UP YOUR WASTE CHUTE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO FUSED TO YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACK AND BECAME A PERMANENT PART OF YOUR INTERNAL SYSTEMS. YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THAT CHECKED OUT BEFORE SOMETHING RUPTURES. FUCKING HELL.
literally i hope you choke on the next chickpea you put in your gullet the fact that a man so small can be such a gigantic waste of fucking space is a scientific marvel the greatest minds of our collective multiverse is going to be studying for fucking millennia to come
OHHHHH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY SIGNLESS ON A BIKE, YOU ACT LIKE I SHOT YOU. I'M ALLOWED TO BE HERE, YOU KNOW. I LITERALLY WAS JUST TRYING TO MIND MY OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS AND INTERACT WITH THIS SITE NORMALLY, AND YOU'VE MADE THIS ONE OF THE MOST HUMILIATING CRASH LANDINGS IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING. LIKE YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING SUCH AN ASS OF YOURSELF THAT I ALMOST FEEL BAD FOR YOU. ALMOST. YOU KNOW WHAT? HAVE FUN. HAVE FUN THROWING YOUR LITTLE TEMPER TANTRUM IN YOUR LITTLE WIGGLER DIAPERS WITH YOUR LITTLE WIGGLER SNOT BUBBLE SCREAMING YOUR LITTLE WIGGLER HEAD OFF. I'M GOING TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES FEED WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. BLOCK ME IF YOU WANT, I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT LEAVING THIS SITE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE INCAPABLE OF SHARING A SPACE WITH ME, REGARDLESS OF HOW UTTERLY MISERABLE YOU JUST MADE IT. HAVE FUN KNOWING YOU WAY OVERREACTED AND FUCKED THINGS UP. AGAIN. FUCKING ASSHOLE.
you literally went onto my page and hate mediated just about everything i posted tonight literally even you cannot possibly be so delusional that you think you have the high ground here?
BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. THIS WHOLE GODDAMN SITUATION DIDN'T NEED TO BE A CALAMITY OF SUCH STUPID PROPORTIONS. LITERALLY FUCK OFF.
A SCIENTIST OF MIDDLING-TO-DECENT REPUTE WITH AN INTEREST IN FUCKING AROUND AND FINDING OUT IN REGARDS TO OTHER TIMELINES AND UNIVERSES SHOVED ME ONTO THE SITE WITH ZERO INSTRUCTION PAST "check it out for me! pleeeaaassseee? :)" SO HERE I AM. CHECKING IT OUT. AND I'VE ALREADY ENCOUNTERED PEOPLE FROM MY UNIVERSE. WHICH IS DECIDEDLY NOT THE PURPOSE OF MY BEING HERE. SO THAT'S AWESOME.
I WAS WARNED ABOUT THE OTHER UNIVERSES. I WAS GIVEN LESS WARNING ABOUT THE SAME UNIVERSE. I'M PREPARED FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE.
BEGRUDGINGLY PUTTING ON MY BULBSEARINGLY BRIGHT COMBINATION-PARTY-HAT-DUNCE-CAP AND BLOWING INTO A LIGHTLY MOIST PAPER NOISEMAKER.
I WILL WALK AWAY WHITE KNUCKLING MY FIRST MAJOR L ON THIS SITE. YOU'VE WON THIS TIME. BUT WATCH YOUR BACK.
