THE IMPOSTER.
@castigatedGement
THIS SERIOUSLY IS NOT MY GODDAMN FAULT. OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT ALWAYS MY OWN (( I: BLOODGRAIN, TUMBLR ))
OH GOD. OH, NO NO NO NO NO! *FUCK* NO! WHO IN THEIR SICKLY FUCKING THOUGHT STEM THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SHOW HER THIS WEBSITE? YOU'D BETTER ROUND UP ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE FOUR-LETTER WORDS AND KISS THEM GOODBYE ON THE FRONTS AND BACKS OF THEIR CHAFED GRIPESACS. BECAUSE WE ARE *NEVER* GOING TO HAVE A MOMENT OF PEACE ON THIS PITIFUL PLATFORM AGAIN. I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY.
◜▿◝ I'm delighted!
Goodness, I don't know w)(at )(as gotten your )(orns in suc)( a twist, young one. 38( For-tuna-tely (G-ET IT?), you won't )(ave to fret muc)( longer! Just let your good S)(ep)(erd soot)(e waterever it is t)(at ails you! W)(at seems to be t)(e trouble?
I HOPE YOU SHOVE THE NEARMOST PRONG OF YOUR CHIPPER FUCKING DELIGHT RIGHT UP YOUR SHAME CANAL AND RIDE IT BACK TO WHATEVER SHIT-GRINNING HAPPYTOWN YOU FLEW IN FROM. I *HATE* YOU, AND I HATE THAT YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT THIS. AND I PROBABLY HATE EVERYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE THE BULGE SWINGING AUDACITY TO BE HAPPY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, TOO.
(´･ᴗ･ ` ) I'm happy to know that we're talking! Is that bad?
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW. WELCOME TO THE REST OF OUR LIVES! AND GEE, AREN'T YOU JUST *EXCITED* ABOUT THAT? I, FOR ONE, FEEL JUST ASS BACKWARDSLY GIDDY ABOUT THIS CASK OF BEETLECRAP WE CAN'T UN-OPEN. MEDICALLY FUCKING THRILLED, ACTUALLY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DEVELOP HIGHER STANDARDS BEYOND "GETS THEIR JOLLIES OFF FROM TALKING TO RANDOM, PUS MOUTHED FELONS ONLINE." IN FACT, IF THOSE ARE *YOUR* STANDARDS, AND YOU'RE TALKING TO *ME*, I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO PLAY THE STRANGER DANGER CARD AND EXCUSE MYSELF FROM THIS CONVERSATION FOR THE REST OF FUCKING FOREVER. BYE.
0H 7H3N M4YYB3 1D0NY H4V3 70 W0RRYCUZ MY L1F3 15 4LR34DY 0V3F PH3W H4H4H3H3H
FOR THE HUNDREDTH GODDAMN TIME THIS WASTE-HUFFING PERIGEE. I'M TWENTY. I'VE MOULTED MULTIPLE TIMES BY NOW. CLEARLY, I AM AN ADULT, JUST LIKE YOU. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I USED TO BE ABLE TO RIDE A TWO-WHEELED DEVICE. YOU KNOW. BEFORE PUT THESE *CHICLY ADORABLE AND FRANKLY AWESOME* HANDCUFFS ON ME AND TOSSED THE KEY INTO SOME SORT OF BOTTOMLESS LATRINE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. OH, NO. BYE BYE, GENERAL USE OF MY PRONGS. DIDN'T NEED THAT! AND FOR THE RECORD, EVERY TIME YOU STOOP TO CALL ME "YOUNG ONE," I AGE ABOUT THREE AND HALF MORE SWEEPS IN MY FOULEST FUCKING CORNER OF MY MIND'S EYE. I'M ON MY DEATHCUPE, NOW, BY THE WAY. SO THANKS FOR THAT. -- THIS POST IS PENDING FINAL REVIEW BY THE BEFORAN BUREAU OF PUBLIC INFORMATION AND SOCIAL MORALE. --
this is the future lowwblood radicals are tryin to take from you https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d666f1a7b9eb.png
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS. IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THERE ARE WORDS IN ANY SPOKEN OR WRITTEN LANGUAGE THAT COULD ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE WAY LOOKING AT THIS IMAGE MAKES ME FEEL. IT ONLY TOOK ONE RAKE OF MY GANDER BULBS OVER THIS SHAMELESS DISPLAY FOR ME TO START CLENCHING MY JAW WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO MAKE MY FUCKING TEETH SHIFT IN MY MOUTH. AND HONESTLY, I WOULD DEMAND THAT YOU FOOT THE BILL FOR WHATEVER ELECTIVE FANG-ADJUSTMENTS I'D NEED TO UNDERGO TO FIX THIS DEFORMITY YOU JUST CAUSED, BUT I'M SCARED YOU MIGHT HAVE THE SHIT-NUGGED GUMPTION TAKE IT AS SOME KIND OF INVITATION TO START *PROVIDING* FOR ME OR SOMETHING. I HATE TO SAY IT. BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK THERE MIGHT ACTUALLY SOME UTILITY TO GOVERNMENT CENSORSHIP. I WISH THEY'D CENSOR EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR POSTS AT THIS POINT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE NEXT.
oh hey kar wwhy are ya pretendin to be lime are you finally givvin flarp a chance or this the wwork of an inevvitable pan hemorrhage after perigees a ovverwworkin your anguish bladder anywway not sure wwhat all this yabberys about seein as the guy in the pic looks nothin like you but sure i can foot the toothculler bill
FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DIDN'T SAY JACK SHIT ABOUT HOW THE APPARENT "TRAD" "MUTIE" "MATESPRIT" IN THIS PICTURE LOOKS ANYTHING LIKE A DISTURBING APPROXIMATION OF MY PAST SELF. BUT SURE. LET'S JUST AGREE THAT THIS CRETINOUSLY BIG-EYED LITTLE FUCK STANDING AT YOUR RIGHT PRONG *ISN'T* ME. OR AT LEAST I'M ASSUMING THAT'S *SUPPOSED* TO BE YOU, IF YOU GOT DRESSED IN THE DARK AFTER SOME SORT OF SEMI-CATASTROPHIC NUG CONTUSION. AND HERE YOU ARE ACCUSING *ME* OF HAVING SOME SORT OF PAN INJURY. IT IS GENUINELY STRADDLING THE BORDELINE OF BEING ACTIVELY FUCKING CONCERNING, BUT WE'LL PUT A PIN IN THAT. SECONDLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF DELIRIANT SUBSTANCE A "FLARP" IS, BUT IF IT'S MAKING YOU ACT LIKE THIS MUCH OF A MOIST GLOBE, YOU CAN KEEP IT ALL TO YOURSELF. YOU'RE WELCOME. HOW INCREDIBLY FUCKING MAGNAMIOUS OF ME IN THESE TRYING TIMES. THIRDLY, I'M ACTUALLY PRETTY OFFENDED RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'D INSINUATE I'M "PRETENDING" TO BE A LIME BLOOD. AS IF *I WOULD EVER ACT LIKE THAT MUCH OF A PAPER-SKULLED IMBECILE AND TRY TO HIDE SOMETHING THAT STUPIDLY IMMUTABLE*, AND IT'S FRANKLY KIND OF FUCKING CRAZY THAT YOU'D SAY THAT *ESPECIALLY* WHEN YOU KNOW THAT *LIME IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE COLOR, YOU SHIT-GRINNING MORON*. I THINK EVEN THE PAST-MOST YOU WOULD HAVE THE SENSE TO KNOW THAT I CARE WAY MORE ABOUT THE TRUTH TO THINK THAT'S EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY. FOURTHLY, I CAN TELL YOU DIDN'T READ MY RESPONSE, WHICH KIND OF COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIATES THE POINT OF USING A MEMO TO COMMUNICATE AT ALL. I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR GLANCE NUGGETS AND TRY TO GET BACK ON SKYHORSE WITH THIS ONE. GO BACK TO MY ORIGINAL COMMENT. YOU'LL START WITH THE FIRST SENTENCE. *SLOWLY* RUN YOUR NUGGETS OVER ALL OF THE INDIVIDUAL WORDS IN EACH SENTENCE UNTIL IT MAKES SENSE. AND THEN GO ON TO THE NEXT ONE. RINSE, REPEAT, AND THEN ASK YOURSELF. DO I THINK HE *REALLY* WANTS ME TO PAY FOR THE PROVERBIAL VISIT TO THE TOOTHCULLER'S DEN? THE ANSWER TO THIS MAY SHOCK YOU. -- THIS POST IS PENDING FINAL REVIEW BY THE BEFORAN BUREAU OF PUBLIC INFORMATION AND SOCIAL MORALE. --
oh i read it from start to finish alright an it wwas pretty crystal to me that youre doin that thin wwhere youre hopin ill see through your broodin facade an despite your insistence do the opposite ill givve ya this i wwouldnt be caught dead wwearin a graphic tee unless it wwere that one cause like come on man its bangin anywway you shouldvve just said you wwere beforan wwould havve savved myself a lot a time an energy goin wwith a simple hate react considerin howw insufferable you thin carapaced tenderbloods are
NO. NO. NO. FIRST POINT: I'M VERY PATENTLY NOT DOING THAT SHIT YOU THINK I'M DOING. NOT THIS TIME. AND THAT'S ALL THERE REALLY IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER, AND SO THAT FESTERING NODULE ON THIS BORDERLINE METASTATIC NUB OF A CONVERSATION IS OVER AND DEALT WITH. POINT MADE. MOVING ON THE SHIRT ISN'T "BANGING," AND I THINK YOU'D DO A NEAR-NEGLIBLE AMOUNT OF WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT THAT WORD TO MEAN WHILE WEARING IT. AND BEFORE YOU INSINUATE THAT I'M BEING SOME SORT OF SOFT-SPINED PRONG HOLDER, I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT HERE. IT'S JUST THAT IT LOOKS INCREDIBLY STUPID, AND I WANT BETTER THAN THAT FOR YOU. SO YOU CAN GET TO PULLING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR CRAMPED ROEHOLE AND THROW THAT GARBAGE OUT. I DON'T SEE WHAT ME BEING BEFORAN HAS TO DO WITH THIS. YOUR SHIRT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE THE LOWEST HANGING FRUIT ON THE SHORTEST FUCKING FROND NUB IN THE ORCHARD. YOU ORDERED ATTENTION, AND NOW IT'S ON YOUR MEAL PLATFORM. YOU CAN TAKE IT OFF AND PUT ON SOMETHING NORMAL NOW. I'M GIVING YOU *EXPLICIT PERMISSION*, BRO.
so uh, i kinda noticed something funny and maybe this is a little awkward… but @castigatedgement , why are you green? is that your slimer cosplay? ha ha. good bit, bro.
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. YOU HONESTLY LUCKED THE FUCK OUT WITH THE FACT THERE HAVEN'T BEEN ANY STUDENTS FOR A DEMOCULLTIC SOCIETY CHAPTER MEMBERS LURKING ON YOUR PAGE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE YOU CHIT THIS GARBAGE. I MEAN, COME ON. ARE YOU A MORON, OR JUST PRETENDING? YOU LITERALLY *CAN'T* ASK A GUY WHY HE'S GREEN. NOT IN PUBLIC, AT LEAST OR ANYWHERE, FOR THAT MATTER. BECAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS WHEN THESE BUREAUCRATIC SHIT-HAWKERS WILL LET ME TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT *WHAT LOVELY FUCKING WEATHER WE'RE HAVING THIS DRY SEASON*. AND I DON'T KNOW YOU. AND I CERTAINLY DON'T HAVE THE FOGGIEST GOD DAMN CLUE ABOUT WHAT A "SLIMER COSPLAY" COULD EVEN REPRESENT HERE. BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT IT CAN'T MEAN ANYTHING *GOOD*, TO THE POINT WHERE I'D BET AGAINST TAKING A RED HOT CULLER'S CROOK TO MY NETHER REGIONS IN THE EVENT THAT I'M WRONG. YOU, FOUL STRANGER, ARE UTTERLY DISGUSTING. YOU CAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK TO YOUR OWN DEPRAVED LITTLE PRIVATE MEMO. -- THIS POST IS PENDING FINAL REVIEW BY THE BEFORAN BUREAU OF PUBLIC INFORMATION AND SOCIAL MORALE. --
today i havve decided to pose vvery demurely in front of a crashin wwavve wwhilst blushing and enlarging my eyes to three times their normal size to alloww maximum sparkling yes i wwill be doing this all day my sincere apologies to anyone wwho needs my servvices
if only there wwas a big strong set of loww blood arms for me to fall into oh no @castigatedgement oops
OH GOD. DO WE REALLY HAVE TO ROLEPLAY ON THE TIMELINE LIKE THIS? ARE OUR BACK-AND-FORTH PRIVATE MEMODUMPS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU ANYMORE?? GOOD FUCKING GOD, BRO, I THOUGHT WE COULD LEAVE A LITTLE MORE OF THIS SHIT STRICTLY CLANDESTINE.
okay noww roleplay you as a handsome and rugged wwarrior wwho came to the sea for peace only for your pumper to be stirred by the sight of me in a sea foam sprinkled night gowwn
OK. FINE. *THE BRAVE AND SUPPOSEDLY RUGGED WARRIOR, I.E., ME, HAS ENDURED THE LAST OF HIS EXCESSIVELY ARDUOUS AND FRANKLY FUCKING GRUELING JAUNT FROM THE BATTLEFIELD TO THE SEASIDE. FINALLY. AFTER LONG LAST, HE HAS MADE IT TO HIS DESTINATION. AND GOD, IS HE READY TO FLUSH EVERY BLOOD-DRENCHED AND VISCERA-SPACKLED MEMORY OF WAR INTO THE SEA THE WAY AN OVERPAID LAMPLADY FLINGS ALL THE FETID REFUSE FROM A REST PLANK-COMMODE INTO THE MACERATOR AT THE END OF THE DAY. SUFFICE TO SAY, HE'S COME HERE TO FORGET SOME SHIT.* *OF COURSE. HE IMMEDIATELY NOTICES THAT HE ISN'T ALONE, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE RIDICULOUSLY STUPID BEYOND THE POINT OF FUCKING OBVIATION ITSELF FOR HIM TO BE A WARRIOR WITHOUT ANY PERSONAL-AWARENESS SKILLS. WHEN HE SEES A FIGURE STANDING WITH THEIR STRUT PODS IN THE WATER, THEIR HAIR AND GOWN GENTLY WHIPPED BY THE WIND, IT FEELS LIKE TIME ITSELF HAS HELD ITS BREATH AND TAKEN A STEP BACK TO LET THIS FATEFUL MEETING HAPPEN. THE WARRIOR FEELS A STIRRING IN HIS DEAD, DESSICATED BLOOD PUSHER BUT DOESN'T SAY A WORD YET. HE JUST WATCHES, TRYING NOT TO SEEM AS AWESTRUCK AS HE CLEARLY IS.*
evvery time i look at this pathetically cloyin piece straight from the mind a some mentally ill kitty kat shipper girl vvariant it feels like my pusher is bein rended by the vvery gaggle a thorns wwhat crowwned human jegus nugbone the vvertiginous load a bein lovved is so encumberin it momentarily disarms me paralyzes me soothes my brutish untrimmed thanatic drivve as im swwaddled in vvenusian sea foam from wwhat the goddess herself did rise in nacreous glory to be quadded is to be changed forevver https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/67671508e077.jpg
YOU KNOW WHAT? DESPITE ALL OF THE FRANKLY *DISTURBING* SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MY YOUNGER SELF AND THIS LITTLE ASSWAD IN THE DRAWING, I DON'T THINK I EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE OR WHO YOU GOT THIS FROM. I'M ACTUALLY FINE WITH SUBJECTING MYSELF TO THE FLACCID FUCKING DISCONTENTMENT OF NEVER HAVING A QUESTION ABOUT THIS PICTURE ANSWERED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I'M GOOD OVER HERE. SO DON'T TELL ME, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/c7/e0/12/c7e01210d5e01d971d50aab3cfb16a6f.jpg
II 2uppo2e a good 2tart would be 2ome fun engagement baIIt! anybody got any good work 2torIIe2?
regardIIng my la2t po2t, II'll 2hare a funny 2tory of my own! about three 2weep2 ago, we had a new guy who wa2 really eager to get 2tarted, a real go-getter! II had ju2t fIInII2hed a 2hIIft and II wa2 goIIng to 2how hIIm the rope2 whIIle the tIIne2 cooled, but he wa2 too IImpatIIent! 2o he grabbed on and my overflow IImmedIIately channeled out to hIIm, almo2t blew hIIm all the way acro22 the floor!! IIt wa2 hIIlarIIou2, II 2tIIll laugh about IIt the2e nIIght2.
I REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS. YOU WERE STILL *QUITE LITERALLY* BEING WRACKED WITH MINOR ELECTROCONVULSIONS EVEN WHILE I WAS JUST TALKING TO YOU ABOUT IT THAT MORNING, SO I EARNESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EITHER OF YOU WERE FUCKING THINKING.
It wa2 a long 2hIIft man cut me 2ome 2lack. Not lIIke IIt bother2 me anyway! That guy wa2 a dumba22 though lol, II thIInk he got culled over IIt, maybe he burnt out IIdk.
GOOD GOD. WHAT FUCKING SHAME IT IS FOR THAT POOR GUY. WELL! AT LEAST IT WASN'T YOU OR ME, RIGHT?
Hey he'2 got a funny 2tory to tell all the hIIghblood2 pamperIIng hIIm 2o II'm 2ure he'2 ju2t fIIne. IIf he can even talk 2tIIll but whatever, the 2entIIment remaIIn2. At lea2t IIt'2 a good le22on IIn plant 2afety!
THE WORD "PAMPER." HOW INTERESTING OF A CHOICE IS THAT. YOU KNOW, IF MY GLANCE NUGGETS WEREN'T GETTING WORSE BY THE NIGHT, I WOULD'VE THOUGHT YOU USED SOME KIND OF *OTHER* WORD THERE. YOU KNOW. ONE THAT YOU COULD PRETTY FUCKING EASILY INTERCHANGE WITH THE WORDS SUBJUGATE OR TORTURE???