THE IMPOSTER.
@castigatedGement
THIS SERIOUSLY IS NOT MY GODDAMN FAULT. OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT ALWAYS MY OWN (( I: BLOODGRAIN, TUMBLR ))
BREAKING FUCKING NEWS: I YET CONTINUE TO DEBASE MYSELF BEYOND ALL REASONABLE EXPECTATION. LIKE A SLOP-COVERED WALLOWBEAST TOSSING ITSELF AROUND IN THE SAME STINKING FILTH IT EATS, I CONTINUE TO MAKE MYSELF SUFFER ON THIS WEBSITE FOR *LITTLE* GOD DAMN REASON AT ALL. BUT HONESTLY? AT THIS POINT, I'M CO-SIGNING THIS BULLSHIT BUFFET BY MY OWN CONTINUAL RELAPSE. I DESERVE THIS.
NEVER MIND. THERE'S A NEW CHAPTER. GET THE FUCK OFF MY CHIT, I'M BUSY NOW. I HAVE SHIT TO ATTEND TO IN HERE.
WHO EVEN ASKED YOU TO AGREE WITH THAT? LET'S ADD THAT QUANDARY TO THE EVER-GROWING LIST OF SHIT I STRAIGHT UP DID NOT ASK FOR ANY NUMBNUGGED ANSWERS FOR.
YOUR NAME IS THE UNVIRGIN. COME BACK AND LAMBASTE ME ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PRIORITIES IN ORDER, WHETHER IT'S MEDICALLY CORRECTING YOUR COMPULSION TO BE HUMILIATED ONLINE. OR FILLING EVEN A SINGLE SORDID BUCKET WITH WHATEVER BODILY REFUSE YOU'D PROBABLY END UP CONFUSING FOR OWN GENETIC MATERIAL IN THE HEAT OF THE FLEETING FUCKING MOMENT. AND THANK *GOD*, IT'S FLEETING. GO ON. PICK THE EASIER WAY TO FIX YOURSELF AND HOP THE FUCK TO IT!
cxome rearrange my wires and fix me yxourself if yxoure sxo desperate txo see prxoxof xof me twitching and spasming xoxo
WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE *WIRES*? ACTUALLY. HOLD THAT THAT THOUGHT. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, SO KEEP WHATEVER OVER-DISCLOSURE YOU WERE ABOUT TO SQUEEZE OUT OF YOUR BILE WRINGER IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH AND OFF MY SCREEN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M INVESTED NOW. #TWISTHISBULGE #RUMBLEINDALIVE #ERIDANWEEK #NSFW
I HAVE THE WEIRDEST FUCKING SUSPICION THAT SOMEONE I KNOW IS BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW. BUT NOT EVEN IN THE WAY YOU'D IMMEDIATELY EXPECT THEM TO.
I JUST WOKE UP FROM A DEAD FUCKING SLEEP. THEY'RE 6'5" AND THEY/THEM, BY THE WAY.
Ooh, congratulations! A tall enby is really something to bag.
WHAT THE EVER-LOVING SHIT IS EVEN HAPPENING AT THAT CONCERT? HOLY FUCKING MOTHER GRUB.
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ You never been to a Marvus concert before ey? ]
(^･ω･^) < TUNE INTO MY STREAM TO S33 IT ALL!!! #ERIDANW33K #STREAMING THOUGH THEIR ARE PLENTY OF TOPLESS AND NAKED PEOPLE AND A FEW DEAD. #NSFW #DEATH
WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I'M COMING TO ERIDAN WEEK. IN SPIRIT OR SOMETHING ASININE LIKE THAT, SINCE I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T UP AND TROT NUB IT THE HELL OVER. #ERIDANWEEK
D --> Hm D --> If you will be in attendance then I suppose I will consider e%tending my patronage to the event
HEY, BRO. YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO PINKY PROMISE WHEN IT COMES TO ME. I'LL JUST TAKE IT AS FACT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL *GENUINELY* TRY TO HAVE A DECENT TIME. FOR YOU.
you cannot see it right noww bro but i am making trumpet noises wwith my mouth and my fingers are miming the trumpet keys please come to eridan wweek and come hard!!
all of the royal scientists are calling this mayhaps the most joyous and celebratory thing to evver happen you wwill be the best karkat there dude i can foresee it
YEAH, YOU FUCKING ARE. YOU ARE CLEARLY TRYING TO PUT A WEDGE BETWEEN US FOR NO REASON AT ALL. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? DO YOU THINK I'M FLUSHED FOR HER OR SOMETHING?
D --> I don't think I have the capacity in me to care less about who you are flushed or aren't flushed for Mr. Vantas
IF YOU'RE SAYING THAT SCIENCE HAS AN OPINION ON THIS, THEN IT WOULD BE IMMENSELY FUCKING STUPID FOR ME TO DISAGREE WITH IT. AND YOUR CUTTLELUSUS. THEY'RE USUALLY RIGHT ABOUT THIS KIND OF SHIT TOO. FINE. I WILL BE ABSOLUTELY *PLEASED AS GOD DAMN PUNCH* FOR #ERIDANWEEK, AND I'M COMMITTING TO THAT NOW.
IF THAT'S THE CASE, WHY DON'T YOU TRY DISENTANGLING YOURSELF FROM MY BULGE A LITTLE BIT? IT'S REALLY FUCKING EASY. IN FACT IT'S ACTUALLY *MORE* WORK TO DO THE KIND OF SHEATH-STALKING YOU TO DO TO ME. CRAZY, RIGHT. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO HAVE A JOB OR SOMETHING?
AFTER MY ARREST, NOT ONLY WAS I FORCED INTO THIS MASSIVELY STUPID HANDCUFFS FOR THE REST OF MY PITIABLE LIFE. BUT MY HIVE WAS REPOSSESSED BY THE BEFORAN STATE AND TURNED INTO THE MOST CONTEMPTIBLE THING YOU COULD CONSTRUCT ON ANY PLANET: A FUCKING COMBINATION FLAVOR DISK KILN AND CRAFT BREWERY.
shit wvait i think ivwe been to that one the cashier girl is super cute
they let y0u have chittr in bef0rus jail? what a fucking j0ke planet.
OF COURSE. BECAUSE OF COURSE *YOU'VE* BEEN. COLOR ME UN-FUCKING-SURPRISED
SO YOU'RE SAYING. THEY LEFT YOU ALIVE. TO HAUL AROUND. THE SHAMEFUL RESTRAINTS. THAT MARK YOU AS UNTOUCHABLE. FOR THE REMAINDER. OF YOUR PATHETIC SWEEPS. WOW. GOOD TORTURES. COMING OUT OF BEFORUS. I'M IMPRESSED.
yeah dude i lowve craft brewvs and bronze babes wvho havwe to smile at me or else their boss takes her tips
YEAH, SO THE HELL AM I. THIS IS PROBABLY THE SECOND-MOST PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING SHIT THEY'VE COME UP WITH SINCE "SOCIAL DISAPPOINTMENT POINTS."
YOU KNOW. I HAVE SPENT SOME TIME. ON YOUR PADDED NANNYPLANET. IN MY TRAVELS. AND I CAN OFFER YOU. THIS PRO TIP. NOBODY THERE. IS EVEN A LITTLE PREPARED. FOR THE KIND OF UNHINGED VIOLENCE. THAT MIGHT BE STEWING. IN YOUR BLOOD. YOU COULD PROBABLY SMASH YOUR SHACKLES. AGAINST THE SKULL. OF THE STURDIEST BITCH. IN THE RESTORATIVE JUSTICE HALL. UNTIL BOTH SHE. AND YOUR RESTRAINTS. WERE IN PIECES. AND SHE WOULD ONLY SAY. EXCUSE ME. UPSTANDING CITIZEN. IT LOOKS LIKE SOME OTHER IDIOT. DROPPED HIS PUNISHMENT JEWELRY. ON MY SHATTERED HUSK.
EVERY CUBIC INCH OF MY THINK PAN IS SCREAMING. GOOD GOD. PLEASE, JUST MAKE IT FUCKING STOP.
i am deeply troubled to hear of your pain. would a heat compress ease this ache, dear one?
I NEED TO BE LET THE FUCK OUT AND SUMMARILY TAKEN BACK TO MY GODDAMN HIVE... OH WAIT! I DON'T HAVE A HIVE ANYMORE! THE STATE TOOK IT AND TURNED INTO A COMBINATION FLAVOR DISC HOVEL AND CRAFT BREWERY! THAT'S RIGHT. SILLY, STUPID FUCKING ME!
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO ASK. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO. FUCK THIS. I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP
I'MB TIRED. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE LATER. BYE.
D --> It's this sort of mentality which is the adversary to productivity Mr. Vantas
OK, EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP. IT'S TIME FOR THE SLOP THAT MAKE ME INSTANTLY TIRED.
>([t#ink its called t#e office]
ARE YOU GENUINELY STUPID? EVERYONE KNOWS GOING HEMOANONYMOUS DOESN'T *FUCKING WORK*!
HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE FUNNY. YOUR ABSURDITY PALATE MUST BE IN FUCKING SHAMBLES.
.o°h I d.o° n.o°t want any.o°ne t.o° kn.o°w m bl.o°o.d c.o°l.o°r let me just plastr .o°n everthing I am ass.o°ciated with h.o°w badly I d.o°n't want y.o°u t.o° kn.o°w my bl°o.o°d c.o°l.o°r this will make sure n.o° .o°ne will ever care t.o° investigate me and that n.o° .o°ne nearby will get caught in any cr.o°ssfirer
works better the more PeoPLe do it though?? it's a fucking PersonaL choice. i don't wanna fiLL some roLe, so you don't *get* to know what my bLood Looks Like!
HA HA! THIS IS SO RICH. NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE. IF YOUR NAME IS "SERKET," THEN I ALREADY GOD DAMN KNOW WHAT YOUR BLOOD COLOR IS! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!!
dude how many troLLs are there, and how many combinations of six Letters are there? there's GOING to be rePeats.
WHO IS THAT AND WHY THE FUCK IS HE WHITE?
because im charming and lovable and you should really consider being friends i think
OK? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO. I KNOW, SHOULD I JUMP AND CLICK MY HEELS AND SAY, OH FUCKING *GOODIE ME*! HOP IN THE DAMN SCUTTLE BUGGIE, BRO, IT'S TIME TO STUFF OURSELVES WITH A WHOLE MESS OF FLAVOR DISCS AND BINGE THE CRITERION COLLECTION LIKE A PAIR OF HEDONISTIC DUNDERFUCKS? JUST BECAUSE YOU ADVERTISED YOURSELF.
EVERYTHING THAT I'M READING RIGHT NOW MAKES ME SO *GLAD* THAT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE SOMEDAY. REMEMBERING THAT JUST PUTS THE FUZZIEST FUCKING FEELING OF RELIEF INTO MY PUMPER CAGE.
YOU'RE ON *MY* PAGE. WHY THE HELL WOULD I FEEL THE NEED TO ADJUST MYSELF FOR YOU? FUCK OFF.
"HAHA," RIGHT, *GOOD*. UGH. NOW SHUT UP AND TOLERATE IT OR REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE GOD DAMN PREMISES ALREADY.
D --> I have no idea what this word means D --> But in the mendacious circumstances under which I did know what it meant I would certainly not be the troll doing the fluffing #nsfw
OH, REALLY. YOU WOULDN'T. #NSFW, I GUESS, BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING GOING THERE.
D --> I still have no idea what that word means and by e%tension no idea what you're talking about
YOU HAVE GROWGLE ON YOUR PALM HUSK, IDIOT. GO PRETEND TO LOOK IT UP.
D --> I am an e%tremely busy troll with an e%tremely busy schedule to maintain, if it was important enough to warrant research I would be familiar with the concept already
THAT'S A SHAME, BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE. BETTER RESEARCH THE JOB DESCRIPTION BEFORE YOU APPLY, DIPSHIT!
WELCOME TO THE ASS-MASTER SLOP JOCKEY PARADE. LOCATION: MY NOTIFICATIONS.
WHOEVER WAS "RESPONSIBLE" FOR ANY OF YOUR SO-CALLED SCHOOL FEEDINGS SHOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES FOR THE SHODDY HACK-JOB THEY LEFT BEHIND THAT THEY'RE LEFT PERPETUALLY VOMITING OUT OF SELF-DISGUST AND SHAME. I HOPE THEY ALL DROWN IN A DISGUSTING SLURRY OF THEIR OWN DISMAY FLUID AND TRACT ACID.
BEING ON THIS WEBSITE IS SECOND TO BEFORAN STATE-SPONSORED TORTURE. READING LITERALLY ANYTHING THAT YOU SHAMBLING THRONG OF SOCIAL REJECTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT LITERALLY GOD DAMN ANYTHING IS ABOUT AS PAINFUL AS HAVING A HIVE OF RIPPERWASPS SET LOOSE INSIDE OF MY ACHING NUGBONE. AND THAT'S PUTTING IT *NICELY*.
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 IF I WAS GETTING TORTURED I WOULD SIMPLY NOT LET THAT SHIT PHASE ME. I'M LITERALLY BUILT DIFFERENT. NEVER HE BECAUSE I'M HIM.
I can't isolate why, exactly, but this user is automatically charming AND relatable.
IT'S TRULY FUCKING BAFFLING TO ME THAT YOU THOUGHT THIS COMMENT WOULD BE ENDEARING OR CHEEKY OR WHATEVER. ACTUALLY GOD DAMN SECTIONABLE. GET FUCKED.
I get ragging on the low median intelligence of the platform, but your puss is a touch too sour for someone who's only just arrived. You really should conserve some of that energy. These people will plumb the depths of your disappointment beyond your current comprehension.
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF PERSON I AM. THE KIND OF DECREPITUDE AND STUPIDITY THAT PLAGUES ME AND MY WRITHING FUCKING ANGUISH BLADDER AT ALL TIMES OF THE NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT, JUST FOR HAVING BEEN HATCHED. TRUST ME. I'M ALREADY BEYOND THE POINT OF BELIEVABILIY. I KNOW THIS SHIT IS STUPID, AND UNFORTUNATELY, I'LL PROBABLY BE FINE.
ANYWAYS, FOR MY TWELFTH PERIGEE'S LEAVING THIS SWEEP, MY *BIGGEST* WISH IS THAT I DO END UP APHYSXIATING ON THE CRUDE, COLORLESS GRUEL THEY SERVE HERE. CHOP CHOP, FOLKS. LET'S GET TO IT
OF COURSE ALL THE SHIT THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE ME WEAR IS STILL GOING TO BE *GOD DAMN GREEN*. GENUINELY, AM I STUPID OR SOMETHING?
DON'T BE COY WITH ME, YOU MAGNAMIOUS PRICK-WITCH. I SWEAR TO GOD, EVERY TIME I INTERACT WITH YOU IT'S LIKE YOU'RE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SOME CLOYING SHIT TO FUCK WITH EITHER MY PAN OR THE STATE OF MY NIGHT. YOU ARE *JUST* THE WORST.
I. . . W)(at t)(e glub are you talking about? I )(aven't seen you in any s)(ade of green before and I don't know w)(y. T)(ere's a LOT I've missed.
HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU HAVE *MISSED* MY FUCKING SENTENCING, FEFERI? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO ADMINISTERED IT.
W)(at? Me? Never! I'd never, --EV--ER make anyone wear a colour t)(at t)(ey didn't like. If anyt)(ing, I encourage --EV--ERYON--E to express t)(emselves t)(roug)( clot)(ing. Did you )(it your pan? Are you okay?
THIS EVENING, I WAS BROUGHT YET ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FROND-STRANGLING SWEATER VESTS IN THIS *SUPER* FUCKING APPROPRIATE COLOR. IT'S LIKE MY LIFE IS ONE LONG, OVER-DRAWN HUMILIATION RITUAL AT THIS POINT. GREAT!
D --> Perhaps what you should be doing is reflecting on the particulars of the timeline that led you to your current circumstances
FUCK OFF. I'VE SAID IT ABOUT A HUNDRED TIMES IN A HUNDRED, FAIRLY SIMPLE TO DIGEST WAYS. NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND *WHY* I'M IN HERE BECAUSE THEY KEEP FUCKING SILENCING ME. CLEAR AS THE MOON, THIS SHIT IS AN OBVIOUS COVER JOB, YOU ASS BACKWARDS FLAP-TICKLER.
D --> A failure to take responsibility for one's actions is indicative of a lack of moral character D --> Perhaps this is simply what happens when trolls who need to be culled aren't D --> Piteous, really
EUGH! DON'T SAY YOU PITY ME YOU LECHEROUS FUCK! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING THE BOTH OF US. DON'T BOTHER WITH A VISIT NEXT TIME IF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS PALE-NEG ME.
EUGH! DON'T SAY YOU PITY ME YOU LECHEROUS FUCK! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING THE BOTH OF US. DON'T BOTHER WITH A VISIT NEXT TIME IF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS PALE-NEG ME.
D --> I take offense to that D --> I am many things D --> Suave and debonair, punctual, well organized, and a model Beforan citizen not withstanding D --> But lecherous most certainly not D --> And any rumors to the contrary are little more than baseless conspiracy theories perpetrated by trolls with nothing better to do