THE IMPOSTER.
@castigatedGement
THIS SERIOUSLY IS NOT MY GODDAMN FAULT. OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT ALWAYS MY OWN (( I: BLOODGRAIN, TUMBLR ))
I HOPE WE'RE ALL SUBJECT TO SUCH AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF SPONGE WRINGING, SPINE WOBBLING PAIN THAT THE CONCEPT OF EXISTENCE ITSELF SHEDS A SINGLE LIMPID FUCKING PUKE TEAR FOR US. LIKE OUR JUSTIFIED PUNISHMENT IS SO TRULY AWFUL, IT FEELS LIKE A MAJOR FUCKING GASH SNAZZARD FOR EVERYTHING IT'S DONE SIMPLY BY BEING A CONCEPT AND MAKING US EXIST BECAUSE OF IT. AND I'D WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN IN MY STATE-SANCTIONED MANIFESTATION DIARY IF I HAD THE SIMPLE LUXURY OF BEING ABLE TO MOVE MY ARMS AROUND AT ALL. BUT I DON'T. SO SOMEONE'S GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT FOR ME, UNLESS WE ALL COLLECTIVELY WANT TO SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER WHO-THE-FUCK-KNOWS-HOW-LONG OF THIS ENDLESS ASS PAGEANT.
ALSO FOR THE RECORD. I HOPE WE ALL DIE AS SOON AS PHYSICALLY AND SENSICALLY POSSIBLE. CHOP CHOP, LORD DEATH! I'M CALLING YOU TO COME SERVE OUR UNHAPPY ASSES IN THE MEAL BLOCK RIGHT THE HELL NOW, YOU LAZY SACK OF SHIT. AND WHEN IT COMES FOR US, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY PRAY THAT IT INDIVIDUALLY STRINGS US ALL UP BY OUR WELTED BILGESACKS AND METHODICALLY SUBJECTS US TO THE CRUELEST VARIETY OF FLAP DRUBBINGS CONCEIVABLE BY ANY CREATURE THAT'S EVER BEEN GRACED WITH THE CHUMPY FUCKING LUCK TO LIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT'S WHAT WE DESERVE. SPECIFICALLY WHAT WE DESERVE FOR EVERYTHING THAT'S EVER BEEN POSTED ON THIS BLISTERING CARBUNCLE OF A PUBLIC MEMO.
OH GOD. OH, NO NO NO NO NO! *FUCK* NO! WHO IN THEIR SICKLY FUCKING THOUGHT STEM THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SHOW HER THIS WEBSITE? YOU'D BETTER ROUND UP ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE FOUR-LETTER WORDS AND KISS THEM GOODBYE ON THE FRONTS AND BACKS OF THEIR CHAFED GRIPESACS. BECAUSE WE ARE *NEVER* GOING TO HAVE A MOMENT OF PEACE ON THIS PITIFUL PLATFORM AGAIN. I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY.
I HOPE YOU SHOVE THE NEARMOST PRONG OF YOUR CHIPPER FUCKING DELIGHT RIGHT UP YOUR SHAME CANAL AND RIDE IT BACK TO WHATEVER SHIT-GRINNING HAPPYTOWN YOU FLEW IN FROM. I *HATE* YOU, AND I HATE THAT YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT THIS. AND I PROBABLY HATE EVERYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE THE BULGE SWINGING AUDACITY TO BE HAPPY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, TOO.
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW. WELCOME TO THE REST OF OUR LIVES! AND GEE, AREN'T YOU JUST *EXCITED* ABOUT THAT? I, FOR ONE, FEEL JUST ASS BACKWARDSLY GIDDY ABOUT THIS CASK OF BEETLECRAP WE CAN'T UN-OPEN. MEDICALLY FUCKING THRILLED, ACTUALLY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DEVELOP HIGHER STANDARDS BEYOND "GETS THEIR JOLLIES OFF FROM TALKING TO RANDOM, PUS MOUTHED FELONS ONLINE." IN FACT, IF THOSE ARE *YOUR* STANDARDS, AND YOU'RE TALKING TO *ME*, I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO PLAY THE STRANGER DANGER CARD AND EXCUSE MYSELF FROM THIS CONVERSATION FOR THE REST OF FUCKING FOREVER. BYE.
0H 7H3N M4YYB3 1D0NY H4V3 70 W0RRYCUZ MY L1F3 15 4LR34DY 0V3F PH3W H4H4H3H3H
(´｡• ω •｡`) Well no, I think you're just a person that seems nice to speak to! I'm sorry if I've hurt you. (✩ ์ ᴗ ์✩) And sure, maybe I don't know you, but I'd be thrilled to know you! Maybe we can be the best of friends! Maybe then I'll understand why you're upset about things... ❀ܓ(｡◠ ꇴ ◠｡ ) As a start, I can introduce myself! I'm Rayne! It's nice to meet you!
FOR THE HUNDREDTH GODDAMN TIME THIS WASTE-HUFFING PERIGEE. I'M TWENTY. I'VE MOULTED MULTIPLE TIMES BY NOW. CLEARLY, I AM AN ADULT, JUST LIKE YOU. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I USED TO BE ABLE TO RIDE A TWO-WHEELED DEVICE. YOU KNOW. BEFORE PUT THESE *CHICLY ADORABLE AND FRANKLY AWESOME* HANDCUFFS ON ME AND TOSSED THE KEY INTO SOME SORT OF BOTTOMLESS LATRINE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. OH, NO. BYE BYE, GENERAL USE OF MY PRONGS. DIDN'T NEED THAT! AND FOR THE RECORD, EVERY TIME YOU STOOP TO CALL ME "YOUNG ONE," I AGE ABOUT THREE AND HALF MORE SWEEPS IN MY FOULEST FUCKING CORNER OF MY MIND'S EYE. I'M ON MY DEATHCUPE, NOW, BY THE WAY. SO THANKS FOR THAT. -- THIS POST IS PENDING FINAL REVIEW BY THE BEFORAN BUREAU OF PUBLIC INFORMATION AND SOCIAL MORALE. --
Don't be RIDICULLOUS! T)(e key is safe and sound in a special lock box in t)(e S)(ep)(erd's private quarters. 38) B-EAC)(SID-ES, it's time you stop t)(inking of your findefinite imprisonment as a punis)(ment and start t)(inking of it as an opportunity to R-E-ELAX! T)(e )(elpsman life was lobsterviously too stressful for you, so now you no longer )(ave to worry your cute little )(orns about it.
HOW DO I "UN-RECHIT" A POST.
I SWEAR TO GOD, THE SECOND THESE ASSJOCKEYS LET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE, I'M GOING *BAKE SIXTEEN BEAUTIFUL PIES TO SHARE AMONG MY CLOSEST FRIENDS AND QUADRANTMATES* AND THEN *I'M GOING TO START SOME KIND OF FOUNDATION IN MY MOIRAIL'S NAME, FOR GRUBS OF SOME KIND OF LOWLY HATCH CIRCUMSTANCE OR SOME SHIT* AND IF ANY OF US ARE EVEN ALIVE AFTER THAT, THEN, I *PROMISE* WHOEVER'S LEFT WILL BE SO GODDAMN SORRY, THEY WISH THEY *TOOK A BIG OLD NAP ABOUT IT*! -- THIS POST IS PENDING FINAL REVIEW BY THE BEFORAN BUREAU OF PUBLIC INFORMATION. --
suddenly explains w)(y you t)(ink im an imposter. coulda fooled me; youd fit rig)(t into alternia.
aLwAy♠️ FuN ♠️eEiN' ♠️OmEoNe'♠️ a♠️♠️ fU♣️K ArOuN🔶 aN🔶 gEt gOt >:)
OH, TEACHER, TEACHER! LOOK AT ME, TEACHER, I'M EVEN WAVING AROUND MY GREASIER FUCKING PRONG IN HOPES THAT THE LIGHT CATCHING IT MIGHT MAKE YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME FASTER, SO I CAN BE A LITTLE NOOKTWIST TATTLE OVER *FAKE WORDS* ON THE *CHITTRNET*. THAT'S WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW, BY THE WAY.
ON MY HONOR. AND SUBJECT TO WORK APPROVAL. WE WILL GET YOU OUT OF THAT CAGE. AND INTO SOME HORRIFIC BLOODBATH. MY LONGLOST HATCHMATE IN ULTRAVIOLENCE.
CONSIDER THE PERMISSION FuRNISHED. IMMEDIATELY. YOu DO NOT NEED TO WORK APPROVAL ANY LONGER. BECAuSE IT. LIKE ME. WAS ALREADY. THERE.
@CASTIGATEDGEMENT YOU HAVE MY BLADE. YOU SOPPING WET. PATHETIC. IMPRISONED. HOPELESS. DESPERATE CREATURE. LET ME KNOW. WHEN YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. OF THE CEASELESS TORTURES. OF RESTORATIVE JUSTICE. AND YOU ARE READY TO WREAK SOME ALTERNIA STYLE HAVOC. ON THE VIRGIN PLAINS OF BEFORUS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU COULD *BEGIN* TO MEAN BY THIS, BUT SURE. GO AHEAD AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!
ALL OF YOU SHEATH-TWIDDLING ASSHOLES NEED TO STOP WHATEVER NEEDLESS BULLSHIT YOU'RE DOING AND READ WHAT I "RE-CHITTED" RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THIS IS *SERIOUS*. THIS IS IMMINENTLY TIME SENSITIVE AND MORE SERIOUS THAN A CLUTCH OF PALL-BEARER DRONES, BECAUSE THEY COULD SILENCE ME AT ANY TIME. GO READ THAT IDIOT'S POST. *NOW*!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING. WHERE IN THE SWEET, SWELTERING FUCK ARE ALL OF YOU COMING FROM? IS THERE SOME KIND OF PRIVATE MEMO THAT YOU'RE ALL ON THAT'S GIVEN YOU DIRECTIONS DOWN TO THE MISAPPROPRIATED SOCKS ON YOUR NUBS THAT TOLD YOU TO SIGN UP FOR THIS WEBSITE IN A DISGUSTINGLY CONCERTED GROUP EFFORT?
ACTUALLY, NO, DON'T TELL ME IF YOU ALL MADE A SEPARATE MEMO. I DO *NOT* WANT TO KNOW.
WOW. SHE WAS RIGHT. YOu ARE A WHINY LITTLE BITCH BOY. HuH.
HEY. HEY KARKAT. HEY. HEY KARKAT. IS THIS YOu. https://i.imgur.com/10iMnuN.png
ad s)(owed up on my s)(ellp)(one and t)(e rest was )(istory
WHO ARE YOU AND WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS PAN-SCRAPING SLOP-DRIVEL YOU'RE TRYING TO SEND ME? ACTUALLY, WAIT. I DON'T. TAKE YOUR IGNORANT-EYED BARKBEAST PHOTOS AND KEEP FUCKING TRUCKING ALONG, SPORT, I AM *NOT* BUYING ANYTHING FROM YOU. NO SOLICITORS!
AND JUST WHY THE FRESH HELL ARE YOU IMPERSONATING THE EMPRESS? I MEAN, I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO TELL YOU TO STOP. THIS SHIT IS ACTIVELY HILARIOUS, SO KEEP DOING IT. I'M JUST WONDERING WHICH BARREL YOU CRAWLED INTO TO SCRAPE THE IDEA OUT OF.
SHE IS LITERALLY OUT THERE STANDING ON TOP OF, WHAT. A DOZEN CORPSES? WHAT THE FUCK ARE ANY OF YOU DOING?
OK, YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT. I SEE THE RESEMBLANCE. NOW NEITHER OF US ARE EVER GOING TO BRING THIS UP AGAIN.
I'M GOING TO CORDIALLY INVITE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO MAKE LIKE YOU'VE GOT AN ANGRY RIPPERWASP IN YOUR SHORTS AND FUCK RIGHT OFF. DO YOU SEE THIS SHIT? I DO. AND IT'S NOT FUNNY. AT THE VERY GOD DAMN *LEAST*, MAKE YOUR GROUP EFFORTS TO ATTACK MY WANING FUCKING SANITY A LITTLE MORE CONCERTED AND A LITTLE LESS OVERDONE. AND FUNNIER, IF YOU CAN EVEN MUSTER AN EXTENSION OF YOUR PAPER-FRAIL AMUSEMENT GLANDS. MINE HONESTLY ISN'T FEELING VERY STIMULATED RIGHT NOW, AND THAT'S A PROBLEM. HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/QF0LTDRF/IMG-9327.JPG
SHUT THE HELL UP. THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE MEANINGS. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF NUANCE? AT THIS POINT, I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF YOU EVEN KNEW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THAT.
(^･ω･^) < DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO ATTACK YOUR PAN, BECAUSE IF THATS THE CASE I SURE CAN!!! IF NOT YOU CAN ALWAYS DM ME AND I WILL STOP!!!
I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO START! COOL YOUR FUCKING JETS!
...what's nuance? sounds like a complex word with multiple, subtle but distinct defintions....
(^･ω･^) < FINE, IN THE MEANTIME CAN I SEND YOU FANFICS TO YOUR PRISON EMAIL...
OH, HA HA. KEEP SITTING ON ALL OF THAT UNAPPLIED KNOW-HOW, BRO. YOUR POSTERIOR SITTING PLATFORM IS DOING A REAL KICK-ASS JOB AT KEEPING IT WARM. MAYBE ONE DAY WE'LL ALL BE UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO SEE IT FUCKING HATCH.
(^･ω･^) < DEPENDS ON THE CONTENT OF THE FANFICS, I WRITE LOADS OF DIFFERENT TYPES!!! I CAN FILL YOUR EMAIL WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT REALLY, THOUGH MOST OF IT WILL BE ABOUT PEOPLE WE KNOW UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT UP AS I GO...
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE SINGLE INDIVIDUAL WHO "USES" THIS WEBSITE THAT ONE COULD REASONABLY, FOR A SINGLE SECOND, MISTAKE AS A PERSON WHO HAS ANY OF THEIR PRIORITIES IN ORDER. OR ANY OF THEIR SHIT IN ORDER FOR THAT MATTER. GO AHEAD AND TRY ME. BECAUSE I'M NOT CONVINCED THEY EVEN EXIST. I WOULD BET MY SHINIEST FUCKING SHACKLE ON THEM BEING FAKER THAN THE NIGHT IS LONG.
That is not what I meant at all, I must apologize for myy poor wordin'. I was not comin', after yyou at all I was just statin' that if yyou couldn't find a certain individual, I would have obliged to keep yyou companyy if yya wanted it. I never fullyy claimed to be a normal person per-sayy, I claimed to be workin' an busyy with little to no breaks. Anyyhow, I hope this clears thing's, if not we can alwayys hash it out at a later date.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. PRISONER. SOME OF US ARE GAINFULLY EMPLOYED. MASSIVELY SUCCESSFUL. WIDELY RENOWNED. AND COMPETENT ENOUGH TO HAVE TIME FOR POSTING. IN BETWEEN OUR MYRIAD UNCEASING JOB TASKS.
(^･ω･^) < YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT TRUE OR CANNOT HAPPEN!!! SHOULD I COME VISIT YOU INSTEAD SO THAT WAY YOU DON'T END UP GOING INSANE IN THE PAN...
OH SURE. SURE, YOU DO. NOW WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TODAY? TELL ME. I'M SITTING ON THE EDGE OF MY UNYIELDING CONCRETE "COMFORT" SLAB, WAITING WITH BATED BREATH. CAN YOU TELL HOW WIDE MY GANDER BULBS ARE FROM THE OBSEQUIOUS TONE OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT I'M SENDING YOU?
HTTPS://64.MEDIA.TUMBLR.COM/0D28E4ED8790E27242089779ED31A709/9E63349D77FE2BDF-EF/S1280X1920/A6736E6D45EA13D58F9F5EA3D57C574816EB6EA7.GIF YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME. IF I TOLD YOU.
I LIKE THIS TITLE. ON PAR WITH DEMONESS. AND MUCH BETTER THAN HANDMAID. YOU ARE PERMITTED TO CONTINUE CALLING ME THAT. AND YOU HAVE MY TEMPORARY BENEDICTION. BUT WATCH OUT. I'M FICKLE. AND #EVIL.
YES. CHECK MY PINNED. MUCH BETTER LIGHT IN #MAIDJAIL THAN ON THE SHITHOLE ALTERNIA KILLING FIELDS.
OK. NOW I'M CAUGHT UP ON EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS.
:33 < yespurrday i walked out of my cave and found a flower growing :33 < i ate it cause it was purretty but it made me sick :33 < i yacked efurrywhere and it attracted squirrels :33 < so then i ate the squirrels and they were tasty and didnt make me yak
FIRSTLY, THAT IS ABJECTLY FUCKING DISGUSTING. AND JUST WHERE THE FRESH HELL DID I ASK?
READING THROUGH MY FEED MAKES ME FEEL LIKE PIERCING MY FRONTAL LOBE WITH THE DECORATIVE END OF A PARAMILITARY CODDLING PRONG, AND THEN GOING BACK FOR THE SECOND HOLE. EVERY POST I SEE IS JUST ANOTHER PAINFUL REMINDER THAT SOLIPSISM PROBABLY ISN'T REAL. BECAUSE AS MUCH OF A TOTAL FUCKING NUB-TUG I CAN BE, I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I'M NOT AN IDIOT. AT LEAST NOT LIKE THIS. *NEVER* LIKE THIS.
https://media.tenor.com/Z7YM9uxqezkAAAAM/bff-best-friend.gif
AND THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY THING THIS PLATFORM IS GOOD FOR. QUELLING ABOUT HALF OF MY INSIPID EXISTENTIAL TANTRUMS, AND REMINDING ME THAT THINGS CAN ALWAYS BE WAY WORSE!
HI. ARE YOU EVER GOING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO POST A GIF WITH MORE THAN THREE WORDS IN IT? OR AM I JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FORTDAY TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH YOU. HASHTAG, WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU VISIT ME MORE?
https://media.tenor.com/G2Ok-EKjMUMAAAAm/i%27m-working-on-that-monkey-d-luffy.webp https://media.tenor.com/ujMXjLl2Ep4AAAAM/well-see-each-other-real-soon-lewis-michener.gif
YOU KNOW WHAT. I CAN'T LIE. THIS IS GENUINE PROGRESS IN BOTH THE IMAGES AND VISITATION DEPARTMENTS. AS ALWAYS, THE SOONER THE FUCKING BETTER!!
I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE A STRETCH FOR ME TO SAY THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE WILLFULLY OBTUSE AND CONFUSING ON PURPOSE. YOU ALL EXIST AS A MOB OF MASSIVE SHIT-BEFUDDLERS AND MONGERS OF THE FOULEST, MOST PAN-DEAD TRASH POSSIBLE. AND I'M ALMOST CRAZY ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT AT LEAST HALF OF YOU ASSHOLES WERE PUT ON THIS PLATFORM TO PERSONALLY DRIVE ME TO THE BRINK OF REPEATEDLY BLUDGEONING MY SKULL AGAINST MY CELL WALLS FOR A SINGLE MOMENT OF SWEET RELIEF. EXCEPT YOU WEREN'T. AND THAT'S THE MOST HORRIFYING FACT ABOUT THIS ENTIRE CLUSTERFUCK, IF WE'RE BEING HONEST. YOU'RE ALL JUST *LIKE* THAT.
AND JUST WHAT THE GENTLY EXTRICATED FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? PRAY TELL, YOU MAGNANIMOUS JACK-OFF! MY AURICULAR SPONGES ARE WIDE AND FUCKING AGAPE FOR THE ANSWER TO THIS INSIPID RIDDLE OF THE DAY!
D --> Did you seriously just respond to a message that I posted two entire nights earlier D --> Desperation isn't attractive, Mr. Vantas
I HAVEN'T LOOKED AT MY PALMHUSK FOR TWO NIGHTS, DIPSHIT. WHICH IS A PERSONALLY REASONABLE THING FOR ME TO DO, CONSIDERING I HAVE A LIFE. YES. EVEN IN THIS STATE, I HAVE MORE OF A LIFE AWAY FROM MY PALMHUSK THAN YOU. MOVING THE HELL ON.
D --> You know, if you were quite genuinely this desperate for my attention, my DMs are open Mr. Vantas D --> No need to resort to public temper tantrums, you'll only further embarrass yourself
OH! OH! I'M *SORRY*. SHOULD I REORGANIZE ALL OF MY PRIORITIES TO PUT YOU AT THE VERY GODDAMN TOP OF THEM? WHERE SHOULD I PUT "TIMELY RESPONSES TO YOUR LIMPLY DELIVERED CHITTR REPLIES"? BECAUSE I ALSO OWE YOU THAT APPARENTLY, FOR SOME UNEXPLAINABLE REASON.
youre rude and wordy as hell i like you even if youre still freaking out at me for my chill vibes
WHO THE HELL SAID ANYONE WAS EMBARRASSED HERE? GO BACK TO SHOVING YOUR SMUG, TIGHT PONYTAILED HEAD ALL THE WAY UP YOUR ASS. *YOU* ARE THE ONE THAT IS SOMEHOW COMPLETELY FUCKING BEFUDDLED BY THE CONCEPT OF ME HAVING A SCHEDULE THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOUR INPUT. I'LL START GIVING A SHIT WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE A REASON TO OWE *YOU* OF ALL PEOPLE PUNCTUALITY.
(=｀ω´=) < DO I N33D TO BREAK YOU OUT OF PRISON TO GET YOU TO ANSWER MY QUESTION DO YOU WANT TO BE A FREAK WITH ME OR NOT!!!
(^･ω･^) < ALRIGHT, ALSO THE MUCKRAKE DOES NOT CARE WHAT I DO!!! I ALREADY SPOKE WITH HER, IF YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR MIND LET ME KNOW!!! (=｀ω´=)(=｀ω´=)(=｀ω´=) #SUGGESTIVE
BREAKING FUCKING NEWS: I YET CONTINUE TO DEBASE MYSELF BEYOND ALL REASONABLE EXPECTATION. LIKE A SLOP-COVERED WALLOWBEAST TOSSING ITSELF AROUND IN THE SAME STINKING FILTH IT EATS, I CONTINUE TO MAKE MYSELF SUFFER ON THIS WEBSITE FOR *LITTLE* GOD DAMN REASON AT ALL. BUT HONESTLY? AT THIS POINT, I'M CO-SIGNING THIS BULLSHIT BUFFET BY MY OWN CONTINUAL RELAPSE. I DESERVE THIS.
NEVER MIND. THERE'S A NEW CHAPTER. GET THE FUCK OFF MY CHIT, I'M BUSY NOW. I HAVE SHIT TO ATTEND TO IN HERE.
WHO EVEN ASKED YOU TO AGREE WITH THAT? LET'S ADD THAT QUANDARY TO THE EVER-GROWING LIST OF SHIT I STRAIGHT UP DID NOT ASK FOR ANY NUMBNUGGED ANSWERS FOR.
YOUR NAME IS THE UNVIRGIN. COME BACK AND LAMBASTE ME ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PRIORITIES IN ORDER, WHETHER IT'S MEDICALLY CORRECTING YOUR COMPULSION TO BE HUMILIATED ONLINE. OR FILLING EVEN A SINGLE SORDID BUCKET WITH WHATEVER BODILY REFUSE YOU'D PROBABLY END UP CONFUSING FOR OWN GENETIC MATERIAL IN THE HEAT OF THE FLEETING FUCKING MOMENT. AND THANK *GOD*, IT'S FLEETING. GO ON. PICK THE EASIER WAY TO FIX YOURSELF AND HOP THE FUCK TO IT!
cxome rearrange my wires and fix me yxourself if yxoure sxo desperate txo see prxoxof xof me twitching and spasming xoxo
WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE *WIRES*? ACTUALLY. HOLD THAT THAT THOUGHT. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, SO KEEP WHATEVER OVER-DISCLOSURE YOU WERE ABOUT TO SQUEEZE OUT OF YOUR BILE WRINGER IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH AND OFF MY SCREEN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M INVESTED NOW. #TWISTHISBULGE #RUMBLEINDALIVE #ERIDANWEEK #NSFW
I HAVE THE WEIRDEST FUCKING SUSPICION THAT SOMEONE I KNOW IS BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW. BUT NOT EVEN IN THE WAY YOU'D IMMEDIATELY EXPECT THEM TO.
I JUST WOKE UP FROM A DEAD FUCKING SLEEP. THEY'RE 6'5" AND THEY/THEM, BY THE WAY.
Ooh, congratulations! A tall enby is really something to bag.