KALLUM VANTAS
@cheekyGit
DO ME A FAVOR AND GIVE ME A PINT OR BUGGER OFF FOR ME MATE. #COMEONALTERNIA
WATCHED THE LADIES GO AT IT LAST NIGHT IN THE RING AND I’VE GOTTA SAY, MISS DAMARA YOU ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DOUBLE DECKERED THAT LITTLE ROCKET OF A TWINK. 10/10. ALMOST SPILT ME GUINNESS CLAPPING FOR YOU MATE GOOD ON YOU #GETIN #WWE @HANDMAID @CHELIFORMGYVES x
FAKE NEWS. YOUR SOFT. WEAK. SMALL. PATHETIC. LIMP. USELESS. DELICATE. BEFORAN. FEM TWINK BODY. IS AS USELESS AS YOUR SAD LITTLE BULGE. NO PRODUCT OF YOUR SILLY LITTLE PLANET. WILL EVER COME CLOSE. TO TOUCHING THE SEARING MIGHT. OF THE GREEN SUN.
YOU ARE WEAK AND IMPOTENT. THE RUNNIEST SMEAR OF SLURRY ON THE ENTIRE PAIL THAT IS BEFORUS. YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE AGAINST AN #ALPHA #SEME #DOM #TOP #HARD #ALTERNIAN #BOSS #BEAST.
STRAWBERRY FAYGO. IT’S FUCKIN MINGIN INNIT. FUCKING MINGIN. SUCK YA LUSUS @HANDMAID x
IT’S RIGHT DIABOLICAL SWEETHEART BE READY FOR IT. x
SO MANY BEAUTIFUL POSSIBILITIES. I ALMOST DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT REALLY MEANS. PERHAPS YOU WANT TO RIDE MY FACE WITH YOUR NOOK. OR PAIL MY WINDCHUTE. UNTIL YOUR GLOBES HIT MY CHIN. WHO KNOWS. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
YOU CAN WANT IT AS BADLY AS YOU LIKE. BUT I'M NOT THE UKE EITHER OF YOU ARE IMAGINING. #ALPHA #DOM #TOP #SEME #HARD #EVIL #POWERFUL #DANGEROUS #NSFWE #ALPHA #BEAST.
I’M NOT IMAGINING YOU AS A UKE, KEEP FUCKING DREAMING. I WILL ALSO KEEP DREAMING.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. SPIT IT OUT. DON'T JUST HMM AT ME. LIKE YOUR GAY LITTLE PRINTER.
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING BEAUTY. I’M TELLING YOU NOW LADS, YE HAVE THIS, YOU’RE GONNA TAKE SOMEONE’S FUCKING PAN CLEAN OFF THE SHOULDERS. HAD THIS ONCE, WENT TO BOOZER, SMACKED THIS GRUB, SENT HIM TO BEFORUS AND BACK, MADE A RIGHT MESS OF HIM. SCRAN THIS LADS AND I PROMISE YE, YOU’LL BE UNTOUCHABLE, GET THIS DOWN YE BOYS, HEAVE HO. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/971C410EA841.PNG x
Oh you're making me hungry for a good chippy now...
LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING SEA CUCUMBER. #YUCK. HAVE A FRIED SCORPION IN CHILI PASTE. AND MAYBE YOU'LL CALM DOWN.
YOU STEP OUTSIDE YOUR HIVE AND YOU SPEND 20 QUID. STOP THIS ABSOLUTE MADNESS. x
YOU EVER GO TO GREGGS AND ORDER GAS NIBLETS ON TOAST? TELL YOU WHAT. FUCKING. BRILLIANT. IT’S ON THE SECRET MENU. TRY THAT SHITE AND TELL ME YOU AREN’T IMPRESSED YOU DOUGHNUT. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/49DA20301826.JPEG x
HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY LADS. I GOT ME PINT, PRONGIE’S ON THE HUSKTOP, SIMPLE AS. #GETIN #FOOTBALLNOTSOCCER.x
OH YOU'VE BROKEN ME. PARADOX SPACE FINALLY DID IT. NOT EVEN THE DEATHS OF MY FRIENDS COULD MAKE ME FEEL THE THOROUGH FUCKING DESPAIR THAT LOOKING INTO THE EVENT HORIZON THAT IS YOUR EXISTENCE COULD MAKE ME FEEL. I WATCHED MY CLOSEST FRIEND BE RUN THROUGH THE STOMACH, AND IT DIDN'T INSPIRE EVEN A FRACTION OF THE HORROR THAT FINDING THIS ACCOUNT DID. I'M GONNA GIVE UP. I'M GIVING ALL OF IT UP. I'M GOING TO DONATE ALL OF MY BULLSHIT 'CREATOR' WEALTH TO NEWBORN GRUBS, DISAPPEAR INTO THE WILDERNESS WHERE THEY'LL FIND MY BONES IN 8 SWEEPS AFTER I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A POISONOUS MUSHROOM WITHOUT REALIZING. FUCK YOU.
YOU ALRIGHT BRUV HONESTLY WIND YOUR NECK IN x
I WISH I HAD A WITTY RESPONSE TO THIS, BUT MOSTLY I'M JUST FEELING THE DESPERATE, TROLL-BORN URGE TO KILL RISING UP IN ME FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I LEFT ALTERNIA.