The Orphaner Dualscar
@commandingAuthority
The one and only. Captain of the Ruinous. Fleet Admiral of )(er Imperious Majesties Orphaners. Ask me anything: https://forms.gle/SPCJtGSRGogKUWNH9 //art by @ratking_buffet on tumblr
yeah.but.that.makes.them.easier.to.hold.down but.if.you're.just.lobbying.for.there.being.more.beefy.men.that's.fair
That may be true. But I prefer my men masculine, and my wvomen feminine. No need for this intermingled gender crap.
The wvery top of the ocean boils wvhen the sun is at it's peak in the hottest Alternian climates. It is interesting to see the aftermath once night falls. Seeing the vweakest chum floating on the surface dead, wvaiting for the larger beasts to skim them off the top of the wvater.
Another night passed. The moons hawve risen, and fallen beneath the surface of the wvast open sea. The sun has crested the horizon once more, and once again I can smell the remains of the unruly slawves and prisoners burning up in the morning sun. Another beast felled, I hawve lost count of howv many titans I havwe brought to their knees by my harpoon. The ocean is tainted wvith the blood of monsters, and the blood of traitors. Tonight I owvertook a rebel ship, an unruly lot that meant to topple the empire. It is almost enough to bring a smile to this old timers face. Almost. Truly pitiful howv these pests think themselwves capable to fighting back. Nowv their svwill paints my deck. These scumblooded maggots are too wveak, crushed under my thumb and trampled underfoot wvith such ease. Nowv the sun burns the remains into a crust of rust, shit, piss and bile. It vwill be a pleasant sight to see my crevw scrape their suncrusted remains off the pristine deck of my vwessel. I vwonder wvhat's for breakfast. #seadwvellersupremacy
HHOHMY GDHOD INEEDITSOBAD.
Calm yourself rustwvhore. I can smell your desperate snail trail from top deck.
Their meat wvould not be wvorthy of my refined pallete if I did dabble in that sort of gourmand curiosity.
I'M DROWNING IN THIS FUCKING BARREL. CRONUS PLEASE.
And you wvill stay there until the maggots claim you if you keep barking and drooling like a errant hound.
Evwerything is about sex. Except for sex. Sex is about povwer.
S⚣ are y⚣u saying being g⚣⚣d at sex makes y⚣u p⚣werful? ⚣r that sex is ab⚣ut exerting y⚣ur p⚣wer ⚣ver s⚣me⚣ne else?
There is so much truth in this statement that I was briefly at a loss for words.
Late lights spent alone... [[background by @handMaid art by @ratking-buffet on tumblr]]
NOT QUITE ALONE. YOU FORGOT SOMETHING. IN ONE OF YOUR BARRELS.
Thank you most kindly, old chap~. For the record, they're always that colour~.
A regal troll like yourself is always welcome for a tour~.~.~.~. O~U
just adm1r1n' the v1ew 1s all, haha... would love a closer look, 1f ya catch my dr1ft 😘
I'll let her in there if you keep complaining.
Quite the sight to vwatch the moons crest the horizon on a wvarm evwening. I lovwe the smell of hardvworking men in the morning. [[Edit by @handMaid]]
DON'T PLAY WITH MY PUSHER CRONUS.
Is that so bad? It showvs they are wvorking hard, it's admirable.
NNHHNO. IT'S NOT BAD. I JUST. BRIEFLY. PICTURED YOU. SURROUNDED BY SEAMEN. ALL FILTHY. SWEATY. REEKING. CLEANING EACH OTHER WITH YOUR TONGUES. AND I TRIPPED. AND FELL. AND CRACKED MY HEAD ON THE NUTRITIONBLOCK COUNTER.
That is to say your imagination is rank. Filthy, vwile and disgusting. Befitting of your blood. I should not expect any more from a gutterblood, and I do not. I am of course not surprised to hear you havwe injured yourself in your clumsy, horny stumble. I hope you bleed out slovwly.
IJJUST GUSHED BLOOD ALLOVERMY PALMHUSK GOMEN.
I hawve reciewved more questions, all in quick succession so instead i vwill ansvwer them all in one post, as none of those that submitted vwhere brawve enough to stand by it. 1. "8=D < I vwant you." You knowv wvhere to find me. Do not be a covward, my Priwvate messages are open. I am alwvays open for a chat. 2. "is it cool if i ask you, politely, to string me up and dig burns into my flesh." Absolutely dear. It wvould be quite the pleasure to sear your flesh. If this is your ask, you knowv vwhere to find me. I am alvways wvilling to brand another. If the subject is wvilling, it is evwen better to break their eager spirit. 3. "you could orphan any of my grubs dualscar hooooly shit" I am not quite sure wvhat one may mean by this. Do you wvant for us to produce grubs and for me to abandon said grubs? I am sure to havwe done plenty of that already. Or do you mean for me to kill you, and leavwe your grubs as orphans? It is quite the confusing question dear. Stand by it, don't be a covward. 4. "I gotta admit I'm impressed at howv you'wve gotten trolls literally fighting to be your ash tray. Credit wvhere credit is due you knowv hovw to rope them in." It is quite impressiwve howv they lap at my coattails wvishing for me to snuff out my cigar on their tongue or their skin. I havwe plenty of cigars to go around you see, and it seems that I am quite desirable. I do not blame them of course, a hot vwiolet stud like myself is attractivwe to lowv bloods. They all wvant a taste of these gills. You givwe them a little hope, a snog, let them kiss lick your boots, choke on your bulge and the scum is loyal for life. They think you are givwing them some special treatment but darling it is just another Tuesday light for me.
8=D < Impersonator.
8=D < I c001d not tell you what that c001d possibly remind you of. Your labyrinthian pancage is beyond the reckoning of a meager lowly landb100d like myself. May I perish beneath your waves as nothing more than frothing scum.
Yes wvhatewver. You should stay beneath me, hovw about you lick my boots?
8=D < If they were before me, gladly.
You indigos wvhere made to serwve. It is a pity it is frovwned upon to havwe slawves that high.
Anonymous asks: "I agree that the shameless brovwn nosing from earlier wvas indeed hard to read. On that note hovw does one take a sail on your ships so to speak." Dm me.
VWith a sea dvweller age is nearly subjectiwve. I am old, ancient some may say. I wvould not consider myself sad.
i can yoink on it till you tear up but i take requests ^_^
It'll take a bit more than a "yoink" for me to tear up. C'mon, shovw some teeth bitch.
i can rip it clean off so you can ne\/er use it again Z:) you would really like to know who you're calling that hahahaahahahahahaha.
Novw wve're talking. If you wvant a chance you need to be vwicious. Novw wvhy should I care about some hemo-anonymous gal on the information superhighwvay?
Z:) find out i think you will make a fine addition to my garden depending on what other words you'd like to be calling me
These are really coming in tonight. Another question. Anonymous asks: "soooo…DO YOU KNOVW ANY FANCY SPELLS?! You’re like a cool magic vwizard!! Or something! Thats vwhat other people told me ☆wv☆" No. I do not knovw any silly spells. Magic does not exist. I am an Orphaner. not a vwizard.
Another... question? From: "I dare not say". Covward. Anonymous asks: "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE" Get a hold of yourself, truly it is pathetic to see someone beg like this and not hawve the shameglobes to state their name vwith their chest. If you truly did mean this, you vwould leawve your name. That at least givwes you a chance at a ride.
this is really sad that they r begging in an ask b/)x and w/)n’t even reveal their @
Quite so. If they wvant it so bad they should say it wvith their chest. That vway they might havwe chance.
it’s n/)t even ab/)ut having chances at that p/)int, d/)n’t pussy /)ut when u r already like knee deep int/) d/)ing pathetic shit. either /)wn it and l/)/)k slightly less desperate /)r d/)n’t and l/)/)k s/)meh/)w m/)re pathetic
If you are going to plead and beg anywvays, do it to my face, not behind a screen of obscurity.
Another question. @handMaid asks: "VWHO’S THE BETTER GILL LICKER. @handMaid OR @aerodynamicTramp." My ansvwer? Neither of you hawve yet to prowve yourself enough to crowvn a wvictor.
HE MAY HAVE ME BEAT. WHERE PATHETIC FAWNING DISPLAYS ARE CONCERNED. BUT I HAVE SKILLS AND ABILITIES. BEYOND HIS IMAGINATION. AND IT’S NO FUN. HUNTING PREY THAT DOES NOT BITE BACK.
Precisely. They should all knowv wvhen to kneel and obey. Some of them are in desperate need of training.
I couldn't agree more. It isn't as fun wvithout the fight.
8=D < I must go. 8=D < I have obliterated my husktower's cursor input device.
Novw is that so? Did you get a little too excited at the prospect of training? Or is it being trained that excites you?
1 got plenty b1te, doll, you should know that... maybe 1 just need some proper mot1vat1on... k1nda feels more appropr1ate snapp1n back at a shark rather than a salmon, ya feel me?
. Dh... Do yuo want me to... l1ke... uh. 😳 U hh okay um... p . please can 1. uhmv. l . l1ck? The. uh. S weat. F... From your gr ub scars? 🫣😵💫
Another question from my "ask box" Anonymous asks: "You're 6 inches into Eridan, Cronus is six inches into you. Do you mowve forwvard, or backwvards?" WVhat a ridiculous scenario. But my ansvwer is simple, I wvould kill myself.
can you wvait for me to pull out first at least? im no corpse fucker #nsfvw #nsfwve #cwv-incest #cwv-necrophilia?
look up the bulgefreak reading on me, im canonically packing heat
Hm. I do suppose that fits, givwen you are an alternativwe of me. Apple does not fall far.
WVhat a headache... They hawve been arguing all night. I hawve been forced to separate them, as she vwould not stop trying to bite him. [[Background edit by @handMaid!! art by @ratking-buffet on tumblr]]
Tempting. It vwould be deeply entertaining you wvatch you render him limb from limb.
😨 haha not really though r1ght 😰 r1ght
Sure... If she kills you nowv wvhere is the fun in that? Maybe she can rough you up a little, bloody you, and vwe can havwe fun using your blood as lubricant after.
I wvould like to wvish a late happy "prideful perigee" to the sodomites. Continue to livwe your life of sin. Be unapologetic in wvho you lowve, and do not let yourself be controlled by another. [[OOC NOTE: I THE MUN DO NOT SUPPORT HIS WVORD USAGE. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH TO ALL <333]]
We call them ██████s now, pops. EDIT: So much for free speech. I can literally say it. #TransitiveProperty. @timaeusTestified#0414.
You sure can. Whether or not you need to is another matter.
A quiet ewvening soak...
Ladies, ladies, no need to fight. There is plenty a me to go around.
sure am, sa1lor };) th1s fa1ry a1nst just fulla fa1th trust and p1x1e dust, 1f y'know what 1'm say1n...
t1me and a place, b1g guy... dms are w1de open };)
In honor of a late father's day. Or I suppose male lusus appreciation day. @caligulaAscendit
this guy is shark bait he wwouldnt last a day in the ocean i wwas raised
O)( )(e is just little!!! Don't pick on )(im )(e )(as a sweet and sensitive pus)(er! <3 I know for a FACT! 38)
as a sensitivve young man i cant argue wwith facts an logic
As a V-ERY important assistant I always try to give out t)(e facts and logic!!!!
Is this still relevwant? I havwe been avwfully busy all night. Far too busy to keep up vwith these silly trends.
/)h really? silly me i must’ve f/)rg/)tten because im just s/) fucking stupid. aren’t y/)u s/) smart f/)r p/)inting that /)ut? want s/)me extra br/)wnie p/)ints there f/)r putting y/)ur wh/)le think pan int/) that resp/)nse?
Old. I guess. It's more about the mindset of being old instead of actually being old though. I'm unc.
Yes, unfortunate I did not score that final point in Machiawvellian... I vwonder if I vwould hawve vwon a price for that.
I said it vwas not useless but it seems that flevw in one ear and out the other, only latching its clawvs onto "useless." You hear vwhat you vwant to hear, I suppose. This is a great example of that. It is entertaining to see howv lovwbloods flail and cry, trying to latch onto anything to try to "punch up" so to speak. Pathetic, truly.
eeeeeh n/)t really a l/)w bl/)/)d thing it’s just a me in particular thing. i l/)ve clawing my way places. what’s the p/)int /)f d/)ing anything if there’s n/) challenge. then it w/)uld all be b/)ring.
That is a sentiment I can get behind. It is hovwevwer a sentiment I havwe encountered many a time vwith those of your caliber.
t/)ns /)f pe/)ple share a similar sentiment. can’t be king /)f the hill if there’s n/) /)ne t/) kn/)ck d/)wn and be better than. then y/)u w/)uld just be standing /)n a hill, s/) /)f c/)urse l/)ts /)f pe/)ple w/)uld prefer t/) win things instead /)f just be standing /)n hyp/)thetical the hill al/)ne
I wvas half expecting some form of appreciation in regards to the human concept of father's day from my descendant, my son as he wvould be referred to wvhere I his human father. But I should knovw better than to get my hopes up in regards to you, nowv isn't that right, @caligulaAscendit ? #fathersday #malelususappreciationday
dont givve me lip incubator this is betwween descendent an ancestor unsink your pryin hivvewwreckin clawws outta my uh patter troll
Soft? No. It is expected of you to be proud of your ancestry. Shovw appreciation for that.
Cronus? He is an alternatiwve vwersion of myself, is he not? I do not think he wvould he considered my son.
yeah but oh nevver mind im still not doin it ivve endured enough public humiliation noww you wwant me to open myself up to further disgrace by lowwerin myself to engage in a stupid human custom
glossin ovver the fact that i had to die to evven that score so it aint like you been deprivved a your recompense id nevver crucify you though so id probably just havve to kill him or cause permanent disfigurement
If you insist. It does not come as a surprise. You havwe alvways been a disappointment. WVhy did I expect that to change novw.
Ok. Do let me know who wins THAT duel. No use putting money on it. I would hate to see the house edge your old man has on you.
I havwe receivwed another ask. VWixtra asks: "hey am i allovved back to your ship these guys keep trying to touch my spheres and they're like really nice but kind of lovv and i just dont vvant to go against you Z:( idk if youre getting my messages im sorry if im really annoying Z:(" Let them. I do not care. @theurgyAberrant #nsfw
oh but i thought i vvas like a really good girl do you miss me
My descendant wvants me to change my profile image to something more tasteful and less distracting. I wvould like to ask the masses of chittr their opinion this evwvening.
I havwve an inkling you might knowv wvhich one I refer to. But no, it seems his lusus did a terrible job wvith keeping him disciplined. It is a shame. Your attempt at kinship is admirable, to havwve the gall to try to cozy up to sea dwvelling royalty but the vwvery notion makes me scrunch up my sniffbulb. I am glad you admire me, but my disdain for clowvns runs deeper than simple admiration.
oH HiM? yEaH, nAh dEf dOn't cHaNgE It, ThAt's tHe wOrSt mOtHeRfUcKiNg oNe. HoNk hOnK (o: I'M FrIeNdLy mAn, NoT JuSt tO YoU Or wHaTeVeR. yEaH, sEe i wAs wOnDeRiN WhY ThAt wAs. FiGuReD It's cAuSe tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN G.H.B DoNe sPiT YoUr nUg iN AlMoSt eVeRy fUcKiN TiMeLiNe. JoYlEsS N AlL
The wvorst one and unfortunately my owvn flesh and blood. You seem friendly enough, or at the vwvery least harmless or stupid enough not to wvorry about. I do not knowv wvhat you refer to of the Grand Highblood spitting my nug, I try my best to avwvoid the ovwversized fool.
oOf nO TiMeLiNe sHiT? dAmN, mY LiKe fUcKiNg cOnDoLeNcEs. YeAh mAn, ThInK ThAt iF YoU WaNt (O: iOn mInD. tHaT'S LiKe wHaT HaPpEnEd iN My tImElInE, fEw sOnGs bOuT It tOo. YoUs wAs wHiNiNg bOuT WaNtInG HiM To dO LiKe sOmEtHiNg, CoUlDn't mAkE HiM LaUgH Or wHaTeVeR AnD LiKe sPlAt. No aCtUaLlY I ReMeMbErEd rEaDiNg mInDfAnG'S FuCkInG JoUrNaL, yEaH ThAt's wHaT ShE SaId hApPeNeD ToO. bUt lIkE SeRkEt's bEiNg fUcKiNg sErKeT'S.
literally dualscar is so mighty and terrifying to most trolls i just simply think he can never die
No, no timeline shit. My direct descendant. But I do assure you no such thing has happened to me. I havwve had my arguments and exchanges wvith the fool but no. Mindfang lies, she lies a lot, often and frequently, it is a shame she has so many tricked into believwving her stories and tricks. She is not called the Spinneret wvithout reason. She spins lies and stories. About me especially. Nothing in her silly journal about me is true. ((Please spoil characters deaths to them. That's prime directivwve and bad rp etiquette.))
((please dont* I spell checkedd that like 12 times and didnt catch that fml))
He d⚣esn't understand that y⚣u need t⚣ set an example f⚣r ⚣thers ⚣n what a peak f⚣rm l⚣⚣ks like.
Precisely! WVhy hide it awvay behind a modest profile image. The fools on this wvebsite need to see wvhat they are up against.