THE ANNALIST
@grossAnalysis
➡️Numberswatcher supreme of nominal impact.➡️ ➡️Earnest perpetuator and wallower of capital-class systems.➡️ ➡️Voted Beforus' most eager to be culled three sweeps running.➡️
➡️Your oldest and kindest cubicle companion, putting the secret in secretary, does not even have to try to win.➡️ ➡️I'm so happy.➡️
I'm happy for you, big guy!
➡️Everything is beautiful because my prescription lenses have not been updated in four sweeps.➡️
You know what. Sometimes you don't even need to see shit for real for real.
➡️The office of Pinnip Refineries would like to issue a reminder that there is nothing morally maladjusted about entering a quadrant with the disparaged lowbloods, mutants, or lesserly capable, designated to you in a cull assignment.➡️ ➡️They are already physically and emotionally reliant on your superior resistance to exterior stressors, they are already in your care.➡️ ➡️If you love your friends, you will remove the agency of finding exterior couplings and handle the busywork yourself. Your oldest, nicest friend needs you and your help alone.➡️
[+1 to “Torment Nexus” event queue]
READING ONTO THE RECORD! beforan society is *fascinating.* you live like this?
➡️Please send the RSVP to the Baronair at your nearest convenience.➡️
SIDEBAR! y'know, you remind me of a friend of mine? though more cheerful. DIRECT EXAMINATION! are you like a version of Wrothe or are you your own guy
READING ONTO THE RECORD! huh. small multiverse i guess
➡️I need my sedative.➡️ ➡️I need it ground up in a yogurt cup and fed to me slowly.➡️ ➡️Medicully necessary.➡️
➡️Cold cupe for Meansteep, warm plank for Writeneat Anna.➡️
$orry i ignored thi$ for 3+ hour$ i read it but the word$ rolled $traight into the va$t expan$e behind my eyeball$ with no ¢omprehen$ion atta¢hed i have no idea what you $aid to me ba$i¢ally
no i'm pretty $ure it'$ my fault dude you're ju$t talking
➡️Affirmations➡️ ➡️He calls you Anna because he likes you.➡️ ➡️It is okay to take your tasks slow, the report will be there in a few months when you are done with it.➡️ ➡️It is okay for him to lose the key.➡️ ➡️You like it when he loses the key.➡️ ➡️You are not responsible with your unhindered fondlepalms anyway.➡️
I like you, guy.
Yep. We're #friends. So are you like often all stocked up like that?
➡️When I need to decompress.➡️ ➡️Which is all of the time.➡️
The stocks help you relax? Man, you must really love stocks and bonds.
1s 1t @postRetrofutur1sm at all, just cur1ous tho, lmk 1f 1m wrong
➡️No.➡️ ➡️I have not CC'd you on any prior interaction within this thread, so you have thusly removed the context for which my tactical funnytag was humorously deployed.➡️ ➡️Casper is my friend, the low s-bar of your best cubicle companion is easily stepped over. I'll hold it still so that everyone can do that. It is okay. I will be patient. I am waiting. Everyone come over.➡️ ➡️Okay.➡️ ➡️I see him in magazines. I may even recall his premolt name if I think hard.➡️ ➡️I am not paid for that.➡️ ➡️I am eagerly awaiting collaboration between RetroCo and Pinnip Reserves.➡️ ➡️He employs a lot of cusps, you know.➡️ ➡️He should file his cull order here.➡️
ok
➡️Your favorite squirming employee has been hard at his duties.➡️ ➡️I will maybe even be able to produce another word next wipe.➡️ ➡️I cater my cramp and my hurt to the numbers of the barrener and I am noticed and congratulated.➡️ ➡️Yeay.➡️ ➡️ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/460a8a6fb03d.png ➡️
Haha ⬡k this ⬡ne seems a bit full ⬡n. N⬡netheless... #Business #B⬡ssM⬡ves #⬡megaGrindset #Y⬡ghurtMale - MC R⬡se🌹
Yes, I c◎uld tell.
➡️Your favorite wigglehappy officefriend, marinated in his own something, is unable to handle the freedom of expression granted by a lack of restraint.➡️ ➡️It benefits everyone.➡️ ➡️I like it also.➡️ ➡️Accessories.➡️
"= get this guy out of this shit. the fuck. ? what? ="
"= you are. playing. oh. is this not a beforus culling thing, is this a kink thing. #nsfw ="
"= come on, what the hell man. you do not. need this. you would be perfectly fine without it. ="
➡️I can only stack the champagne tower so long as the glasses are approximately shoulder height to me.➡️ ➡️Everything is difficult for me.➡️
N⬡w THAT'S what I call #W⬡RKETHIC! #Empl⬡yeeg⬡als #C⬡mmendableBehavi⬡ur #S⬡me⬡neGetThisManAnAttab⬡y - MC R⬡se🌹
Mmm. Fish cake.
...rechitt
➡️I swallowed a hair.➡️
Present tense???
Y.o°u can't just say that t.o° a w.o°man
➡️I am sorry.➡️ ➡️I did not realize I was speaking to a woman.➡️ ➡️Your smarmiest mistakefiend will dwell in the consequences of my careless verbiage for sweeps, maybe even for the rest of his life.➡️ ➡️Wet, trembling life.➡️ ➡️I edited the post. That is my confession.➡️ ➡️Just to make myself look better. I am a fraud. The Fraudurr, is what they are calling me now.➡️
➡️They have fashioned several extreme measures to ensure I do not wind my prying nubs into my premature whites and pull them out by the root because of my incongruous stress factors.➡️ ➡️Sidespreader: He should be retitled to The Lapchair. Posted from my Lapchair.➡️
➡️Perpendicular lines indicate a maximum-efficiency relationship.➡️
➡️We are practically one business-panned individual. Am I your squirming friend?➡️
➡️It takes me up to half of a solar sweep to type a single report because I cannot freely squirm my prongs across my beloved type device.➡️ ➡️It stresses me out. As usual though, there are only margins of prosperity.➡️ ➡️This is for the better, your most loyal analyzer wheezes in the shadow of your numberical doubts.➡️
➡️You cater to the slobbering masses while your oldest friend wallows in his earnestness.➡️ ➡️No Goredash deliveries available for ceviche.➡️
- Listen, cubicle confrere. We kind of need to talk about the whole ceviche thing. ※ NOTICE: Immmminently.
- I think that's a little mmuch. - Actually. I think I'mm just going to let Keffin have the the ceviche chat with you. They're about to drop the gate on these hoofbeasts. I need to watch.
➡️Retrobate reprimanded. This is my own fault.➡️ ➡️I would have bets on Moonlight Candelabra if I could.➡️
- I have bad news. ※ HOOFBEAST UPDATE: Moonlight Candelabra was scratched in the second race of the night.
➡️Take my entire paycheque. Someone who bets so loosely cannot be trusted with the big boy responsibilities of handling his own dosh. In the shadow of your intuitions, your officefriend suckles the residue of your success.➡️
➡️Do you know what's odd?➡️ ➡️Every other number.➡️ ➡️That one is a kicker, but the joke is that every number that isn't even, is odd.➡️ ➡️Which is every other number.➡️
➡️And odd is supposed to sound like the word strange, too.➡️ ➡️There are so many layers here. Wow.➡️
➡️Okay. So every number that can be divided by two is an even number, but these numbers only occur before and after an odd number.➡️ ➡️So, every other number is odd.➡️ ➡️Odd is also a synonym of strange, so the joke is that it seems like I am coming to you asking➡️ ➡️"Hey, do you want to know what I really find weird?"➡️ ➡️Only for it to be a joke about numbers.➡️ ➡️Which, guilty. One of my favorite things.➡️ ➡️Do you understand?➡️
Oh. Fuck. Yes.
hmm... i'm not sure i follow. what's so weird about numbers that aren't even?
➡️Mister Best Friend will continue accepting applications for his next prospective endeavor.➡️ ➡️Deposit all interest into this form.➡️ ➡️I get to watch the entry number go up.➡️ ➡️So riveting.➡️ ➡️https://forms.gle/7cezQQskBzMcnQVb9➡️
- Thank goodness you're the one Handling this. I have somme Business to take care of at the betting window. ;-)
- How about this: if Alternian Pharoah places in tonight's first race at Friendhugger Park, I'll consider pulling somme strings to get you somme timme off.* ※ NOTE: *Somme restrictions mmay apply. ;-)
➡️I am so excited.➡️ ➡️The only thing more chained than the unreleased hoofbeasts will be➡️ ➡️No➡️ ➡️I shan't say.➡️
- No. You can keep going. ※ TIP: In fact, it would be detrimmental to our Workplace Rapport if you stopped short now. Let's try to be Contributors when it commes to the social climmate of our office. And not takers. c3<
➡️I am requesting mediary council allow me to remove mentions of my Baron-ordained decompression time from official and unofficial transcripts.➡️ ➡️The detriment is making me shake.➡️ ➡️Our public image.➡️ ➡️Your best desk friend trembles in the face of your mercy, do you show him an ounce of pity?➡️ ➡️Do you tighten the closeness of his lead?➡️ ➡️Hhhh.➡️
※ NOTICE: Request for errata sheet overruled. Sorry, deskbro. Per mme, we're going to be sending that one to the secondary mmediaries for interstitial pre-mmediatory review. - Let's face it. Don't you think it'd seemm far mmore detrimmental to our commpany rep and mmorale if you *DIDN'T* spit it out? You'd be mmaking it seemm a lot like you didn't want to comme and place these boxed trifecta bets with mme. ※ PRO-TIP: Mercy is irrelevant here. Being a Teamm-Player? That's crucial.
➡️I am becoming stressed out.➡️ ➡️I am needing decompression time.➡️ ➡️I am always prone to betting on losing hoofbeasts, I am not good at it, just as I am not good at spitting out what it is that I vitally do to calm my nerves within the office.➡️ ➡️Our mutual boss might disapprove.➡️ ➡️I need to be placed nub-first in the pillary.➡️ ➡️The stocks.➡️ ➡️Your very best office friend is wishing you his best.➡️
- Listen, cubicle commrade. Just write it on a sticky note and bring it over, or sommething. I'mm sure you have all commpletely normmal hobbies and pastimmes. - And I can show you which hoofbeasts to bet on, anyways. You know, just until you get the hang of it enough to immpress our polyploying purple puba. ※ PROPOSAL: C'mmmmmmmmmmmmooooooon. Comme to Sillystrife Park with mme.