Battur Runman
@homerunKing
slaughter sphere homerun leader '25, '24, '22, '20. previously played for the outglut allstars. currently signed to the thrashthrust terminators. he/him
battur runman pail your seed into my dugout and give me a homerun ♥︎ #nsfw; #concupiscentanonymously ♠
We here at the Battur Runman team do not tolerate such obscenities towards our star player. Remember, Battur Runman has fans of all castes and all ages! Please keep this in mind when talking out everyone's favorite swinger! Thank you for all the positive posts about Mr. Runman, but please be a little more conscious about how people will view him after you say things like this. - The Battur Runman Team
-------============(((◯ IT'S SLAUGHTER SPHERE SEASON. GET YOUR BATTUR RUNMAN MEAL AT TROLL WENDY'S FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE SEASON PASS TO THE GARRETTSGRUB STADIUM GAMES THIS YEAR. DON'T FORGET - WHILE SUPPLIES LAST, GET FREE SLAUGHTER SPHERE MERCHANDISE ALONGSIDE YOUR MEAL. #SLAUGHTERSPHERE @homerunKing #SLAUGHTERSEASON
BATTER UP < LEGAL KEEPS CALLING ME AND I'M CERTAIN IT'S REGARDING MY ROLE IN ASKING YOU TO MAKE THIS CHITT. I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING PICK UP THE PALMHUSK. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < FOLLOW UP ON MY LAST POST. THIS PART ISN'T AN AD BUT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO GO BUY THAT FUCKING MEAL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY FUCKING TERMINATOR'S THEMED SLAUGHTER SPHERE SKULLCAPS, BATTUR RUNMAN EDITION WE HAVE. IT'S SERIOUSLY A FUCKTON. LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE THE FACTORY ALLOWED THEM TO ORDER THAT FUCKING MANY. THEY TOLD ME HOW MANY THEY HAD GOT AND I SAID "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU STUPID?" MY LAST TEN MEALS HAVE BEEN THE BATTUR RUNMAN MEAL AND THAT'S ONLY ACROSS TWO DAYS. I SERIOUSLY NEED SOME FUCKING HELP HERE PLEASE. > HOMERUN
Don't worry I'll start selling them in my hotels lobbyᴮˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ
☆ Is there anyway to just get the hat without the meals?☆
BATTER UP < YOU WOULD HAVE TO EITHER CONTACT TROLL WENDY'S CORPORATE (UNSURE IF THIS WILL WORK), OR I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. WAIT TWO MONTHS FOR THE COLLABORATION TO END, AND THEN CHECK THE DUMP BECAUSE THERE ARE JUST THAT FUCKING MANY OF THEM THAT WE WON'T BE ABLE TO SELL THEM ALL. FUCK. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < LISTEN THIS IS REALLY NOT THE TIME BUT DO A #AD FOR THIS AND I CAN MAYBE PUT YOU IN CONTACT WITH TROLL SUBWAY. I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS FUCKED WITH THEM. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < I'LL TALK TO LEGAL AND WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO. I'M SCARED THEY MIGHT TRY AND PITCH A BATTUR RUNMAN POPCORN BUCKET AND I'M NOT SURE THE WORLD IS READY. > HOMERUN
hmmmm coffee or water...
BATTER UP < I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO RECOMMEND YOU HEAD DOWN TO YOUR NEAREST STORE AND TRY A HEARTY GLASS OF "RUNMAN COLA". RUNMAN COLA! RUN THE BASES. SCORE THE RUN. #AD #SPONSORED > HOMERUN
so. time. lemme tell you about time. i died once. meenah brought a big ol bomb that killed us all during the scratch, perfectly timed so wved all continue to exist through it, ewven if just as ghosts. that vwouldntwve evwen wvorked if not for lil peixes getting a vwhole helluwva lot more bubbles. we all spent countless, and i mean countless swveeps as ghosts, repeating the same teen drama, ovwer and ovwer and owver, for all of eternity. the time ivwe spent as a greaser alone exceeds the life of the alternian empire by magnitudes. you dont growv as a ghost, you dont change, you aint relevwant, youre half-true, and you aint essential. youre stagnant, no, ewven that implies some sort of growvth, some potential. youre the rock formations left behind by glaciers eons ago. water touched you one, forewver shaped you, and nowv this is vwhat you are. i knovw wvhat its like to experience malaise for an untold infinity. or, i thought i did. roxy lalonde. @tipsygnostalgic#2248. she taught me othervwise. i vwent into the wvoid, as of vwriting this, nine hours ago from the perspectivwe of the chittr timeline. from my perspectiwve. it wvas long enough to havwe wvitnessed the heat death of paradox space and its rebirth, ovwer and ovwer and owver and ovwer and owver and ovwer and owver. its like one of those vwind-up music boxes. all the players emerge, do a little dance, and wvhen its all ovwer they go to sleep. someone slots in the key, wvinds it all up, and the stage is set anevw. i knovw this nowv. you all think you wvant justice. action. blood. you dont understand. you dont understand. there wvas nothing in there. i dont mean that there wvasnt anything there. i mean there vwas nothing there. after the first thousand swveeps i started talking to the nothing instead of just myself. after the first million it began speaking back. after the first trillion i began to understand it. after the first quintillion it began to understand me. already this knovwledge is leaking from my pan. it oozes out. i cant contain it. if i vwere stronger, if i vwere some sort of ultimate self, then perhaps. but thats not me. im cronus ampora. i play my role. i dance. i dont blame her for vwhat shes done to me. sometimes no one gets a happy ending. part 5 coming soon to a chittr near you.
BATTER UP < HELLO I AM NOT READING ALL OF THAT, SORRY. DO YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST IN THE GREAT SPORT OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE PERHAPS? PLEASE LET ME KNOW. ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR GOOD PLAYERS. THANKS. > HOMERUN
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https://file.garden/aeOMvmIuTArjgbHp/davegames10.png it took TWO OF THEM to take down JUST ONE BATTUR RUNMAN and he TOOK ME DOWN WITH HIM but in the GREATEST TRAGEDY FACED BY THIS NATION SINCE JFK, BATTUR RUNMAN HAS PASSED. @homerunKing you will always be in our hearts. #stridergames day 7
BATTER UP < THIS IS INACCURATE AS IT WOULD TAKE MINIMUM FIFTEEN TO KILL ME, I THINK. I'M GLAD THESE TWO DID NOT ATTEMPT TO USE ANY BALLS TO KILL ME BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER IN A FUCKING INSTANT. THANK YOU FOR MY INCLUSION. > HOMERUN
alright party people sorry my doctor took an hour to do a 20 minute appointment but its time for the #stridergames to begin https://file.garden/aeOMvmIuTArjgbHp/davegames1.png
BATTER UP < I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I CAN SEE MY NAME AND ICON NEXT TO SOME INTERESTING AND INSPIRING PEOPLE. I HOPE I DO WELL. DID THEY NOT HAVE A PERK CALLED TOTAL FUCKING LEGEND? > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < MY ROOKIE YEAR. THE OUTGLUT ALLSTARS. AN EARLY POINT IN MY CAREER, BUT AN IMPORTANT ONE. AND WHO WAS THE STAR BATTER? @BATTASWING - BUT YOU KNOW THAT DIDN'T LAST FUCKING LONG WHEN I GOT ON THE FUCKING SCENE. YOU KNOW EIVALL, IT'S SURPRISING TO ME YOU EVEN GOT THE CONTRACT TO BE ON THAT TEAM. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CLOSED THAT FUCKING DEAL. BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER CLOSED ANYTHING *EVER*. YOU'RE NOT A CLOSER. YOUR JOB IS TO HIT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE SINGLE, GET ON BASE, AND THAT'S FUCKING IT. YOU DON'T HAVE THE ICE COLD VEINS LIKE ME. I WAS BORN TO COMPETE. THEY PUT YOU IN IN THE 6TH OR 7TH INNINGS FOR ME. THEY PUT YOU IN, SO BATTUR RUNMAN CAN COME IN AND CLOSE THE FUCKING DEAL. BECAUSE *I AM A FUCKING CLOSER.* > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ GET REAL. YOU WERE NEVER ABLE TO BEAT MY PURE SKILL. BUT NO AMOUNT OF PINCHES AND SPRINKLES OF FORTUNE AND WISHES MAKE UP FOR YOUR TRACK RECORD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER STOPPED AT A BASE IN MY LIFE. BECAUSE I RUN FUCKING CIRCLES AROUND THAT TRACK. AND BEFORE YOU RUINED THE GOOD NAME OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE? MY LEGACY PERCOLATED THROUGH IT LIKE THE PISS YOU SOAKED YOUR RECUPERACOON IN UNTIL YOU WERE THREE SWEEPS OLD. WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS SPORT AND CRUMPLE UP INTO A BALL. YOU WILL BE BATTED AWAY AND REPLACED. BUT IT'S MY TECHNIQUE THEY LOOK UP TO. THAT'S MY LEGACY. AND CULLING A BUNCH OF LOUSY PITCHERS SO YOU CAN GET AN EASY RUN WILL NEVER MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE THAT I DO. SKILL.
BATTER UP < PATHETIC. TRULY PATHETIC ARE WE PICKING AND CHOOSING WHICH RULES OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE ARE "THE GOOD ONES" NOW? EVERY PLAYER STEPS ON TO THAT FIELD READY TO FUCKING DIE. AND FOR THAT, I CAN RESPECT THEM, NO MATTER HOW PATHETICALLY THEY MAY TRY TO STRIKE ME OUT. BUT YOU? YOU'RE A COWARD. "I DON'T WANT TO KILL THE PITCHERS!" FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. YOU'RE NOT JUST DISRESPECTING THE POSITION OF PITCHER AT A CORE LEVEL, BUT YOU'RE DISRESPECTING THE ENTIRE SPORT. IF YOU WANT TO TALK "TRACK RECORD" LET'S TALK TRACK RECORD. I AM THE *ONLY* BATTER IN HISTORY WITH A 1.002 BATTING AVERAGE. I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO PROCESS THAT. I HAVE GOTTEN MORE PEOPLE ON BASE THAN TIMES I HAVE EVEN SWUNG THE FUCKING BAT. "IMPOSSIBLE! THE RULES DON'T EVEN ALLOW FOR THAT!" THIS GAME BENDS TO MY FUCKING WILL. I AM SLAUGHTER SPHERE AND IT IS ME. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING HOPE. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ IT'S CHEAP AND IT'S BORING. IT'S THE EASY WAY OUT. YOU'RE TAKING THEM OUT ONE AT A TIME AND YOU'RE TAKING FUCKING TURNS. WHAT IS THIS? FIDUSPAWN? ARE YOU A FUCKING WRIGGLER? YOU DENY YOUR TEAM THE SATISFACTION OF CHARGING OUT THERE AND BEATING THOSE FIELDERS TO DEATH WITH THEIR FISTS AS YOU LEAVE THE PITCHER SHIVERING IN FEAR KNOWING WHAT AWAITS THEM. YOU DON'T CULL THEM FIRST UNLESS YOU'RE A LITTLE BITCH WHO SUCKS AT THE GAME AND/OR YOU KNOW YOU ARE. YOU MEET MOST OF, IF NOT ALL OF, THOSE CRITERIA. THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU ON THE FIELD I'M GONNA SPLIT YOUR WHINY LITTLE SCALP OPEN WITH MY BAT WHILE YOUR BACK IS TURNED. THEN WE'LL SEE HOW FUN IT IS. PUNK ASS BITCH.
BATTER UP < I'D BE CAREFUL IF I WERE YOU. YOUR BAT WOULD PROBABLY FUCKING BREAK. MIGHT PUT YOUR ARM OUT. YOUR SWING CAN HARDLY HIT A BALL INTO THE OUTFIELD, WHAT HOPE DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO DAMAGE ME? PLUS, AREN'T YOU A SHORT LITTLE RUNT? DO YOU NEED TO BALANCE ON THE BATTING TEE TO EVEN REACH MY FUCKING HEAD? WE BOTH KNOW MOST OF THE REASON YOU EVEN HAD A HALF-DECENT BATTING AVERAGE ALL THOSE SWEEPS AGO WAS BECAUSE YOUR STRIKE ZONE WAS *SO* FUCKING LOW, MOST PITCHERS DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO THROW TO YOU. YOU ARE A GENETIC ANOMALY THAT WILL LEAVE A SMUDGE ON THE HISTORY OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE. THIS MESSAGE CHAIN RIGHT HERE WILL BE YOUR ONLY MARK IN THE ANNALS OF HISTORY. THEY'LL REMEMBER YOU AS THE PEST THAT THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, BATTUR RUNMAN, DISPATCHED OF WITH FUCKING EASE. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ ALL THESE SWEEPS AND IT STILL NEVER CLICKED IN HIS ATOMICALLY MINISCULE THINKPAN. IT'S A CHANGE IN COMPOSURE. OF STATURE. THE PITCHERS ARE FAR AWAY AND THEY'RE BLIND AND FOOLISH. AND I GET A BETTER VANTAGE POINT ON ALL THEIR THROWS. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL NOT EVEN AFTER YOUR GROWTH SPURT COULD YOU COMPARE TO ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS TO "MOVE" OR TO "ANGLE" OR TO STRATEGISE IN ANY WAY OTHER THAN TAKING CHEAPER AND CHEAPER SHOTS WHENEVER YOU GET THE CHANCE. ME? I'M BEYOND A GYMNAUSIATIST. I'M GODDAMN PERFECTION. AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THAT I'M AN ANOMALY. AN ANOMALY OF WILLPOWER AND SKILLPOWER BLENDED TOGETHER FINELY IN A HORRIFIC CONGEALED MASS OF BLOOD, WRATH AND A FEW HANDFULS OF PROTEIN CHIPS. BECAUSE THERE WILL NEVER AGAIN BE ANOTHER BATTER LIKE ME. NOT EVEN YOU. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
BATTER UP < YEAH. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ANOTHER BATTER LIKE YOU. BECAUSE IT WOULD BE THE DEATH OF OUR FUCKING SPORT. LET'S DO AWAY WITH ALL THE BATS. LET'S GET RID OF THE BASES. LET'S JUST THROW AROUND A BALL AND HAVE OUR LARGEST GUYS CHARGE EACH OTHER. THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING SOUND LIKE. I CULL PEOPLE ON THE FIELD, NO DOUBT. BUT THERE'S COUNTERPLAY. CATCH MY FUCKING BALL. DO ANYTHING TO TRY AND STOP ME. IT IS NO A FAULT OF MY OWN THAT THEY *CAN'T*. I AM AN UNSTOPPABLE HITTER AND YOU SIMPLY WANT TO DRAG ME DOWN TO YOUR PATHETIC LEVEL. > HOMERUN
>>| @battaswing @homerunking you may now kiss .in this pitch relationship.
BATTER UP < I WOULD NEVER FUCKING LOWER MYSELF TO THAT. JUST BEING IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN "ATHLETE" WOULD DIMINISH MY HITTING PROWESS EXPEDITIOUSLY. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ BECAUSE THE TERROR OF BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF SOMEONE ACTUALLY COMPETENT MAKES YOU SHIT YOURSELF IN FRIGHT?
BATTER UP < YOU COULD NOT EVEN RAISE A SINGLE FUCKING HAIR ON MY ARMS. YOU ARE GENUINELY FUCKING PATHETIC. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < IT IS CALLED SLAUGHTER SPHERE AND IT SHOULD FUCKING ALWAYS BE SLAUGHTER SPHERE HOUR. LET'S MAKE IT SLAUGHTER SPHERE FOR THE REST OF THE SWEEP, EVEN! FUCK YES! YES! > HOMERUN
b∆ttur runm∆n is the troll s∆toru gojo of sl∆ughter sphere ∆nd i'm not kidding
BATTER UP < I DO NOT KNOW WHO THAT IS BUT A YOUNGER MEMBER ON MY TEAM HAS READ THIS CHITT OVER MY SHOULDER AND HAS TOLD ME TO SAY "THROUGHOUT HEAVEN AND ALTERNIA, I ALONE AM THE BATTING ONE." IS THIS GOOD? > HOMERUN
You know, I used to have a Baseball phase myself! Although despite the fact that I've now abandoned its active use in fighting for justice, I still enjoy the occasional game with my teammates. https://morphinlegacy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Baseball-Bat-Turbo.png
BATTER UP < YOU SHOULD PLAY SLAUGHTER SPHERE. AGAIN. YOU LOOK AS IF YOU COULD HIT THE BALLS REALLY FUCKING HARD, WHICH IS GOOD. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ @homerunKing FUCK YOU.
BATTER UP < LOOK WHO IT IS. LOOK WHO IT FUCKING IS. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU FUCKING ARE? TO COME HERE? IS GETTING RIPPED TO ABSOLUTE SHREDS ON THE FIELD NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? FUCK YOU. YOU WILL NEVER BE BATTUR FUCKING RUNMAN. YOUR PIDDLY LITTLE BAT COULD NEVER KNOCK THEM OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK. MAYBE SOFT SLAUGHTER SPHERE IS MORE YOUR SPEED. PATHETIC. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < HELLO, EVERYONE! BATTUR RUNMAN HERE, ALTERNIA'S STAR FUCKING SLAUGHTER SPHERE PLAYER. I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I WILL BE PLAYING A MATCH TODAY! THE THRASHTHRUST TERMINATORS VERSUS THE CRASHLAND CULL-ABORATORS. A HIGHLY LAUDED MATCH BETWEEN THE TOP TWO TEAMS OF LAST SEASON. YOU CAN TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS AS TO WHICH ONE WON. YOU CAN WATCH IT ON THE EXE-TAINMENT AND SPORTS PROGRAMMING NETWORK. ALTERNATIVELY, MY MANAGER HAS AGREED TO "LIVE-CHITT" THE GAME ON MY ACCOUNT FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO IT. EXCITED TO GET BACK ON THE FIELD AND REMIND EVERYONE OF MY SACRED FUCKING MISSION TO ERADICATE ALL BALLS EVER. ALRIGHT! LET'S GET IT TODAY! PLAY BALL! > HOMERUN
blink tWice if you need help
BATTER UP < BATTUR RUNMAN NEEDS NO HELP! I AM A SOLE FUCKING AGENT OF ERADICATION ON THE FIELD! UNLESS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CATCHING WHEN IT'S OUR TURN, THEN YES, BATTUR RUNMAN WILL NEED A LITTLE HELP FROM THE REST OF THE TEAM TO FIELD. > HOMERUN
ill be sure to keep Watch on the gaMe then! do you knoW if by chance that people are able to place bets soMeWhre iM suddenly intrested in throWing My Money aWay With abandon .)
BATTER UP < I HAVE NO SPONSOR AT THE MOMENT FOR BETTING, BUT SUCH PLACES DO EXIST! THERE ARE TROLLS THAT WILL TAKE BETS, AS WELL AS WEBSITES ONLINE! BET ON ME! I WILL KNOCK IT OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK! MY AGENT HAS ADVISED ME TO REMIND YOU THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE! > HOMERUN