Battur Runman
@homerunKing
slaughter sphere homerun leader '26, '25, '24, '22, '20. previously played for the outglut allstars. currently signed to the thrashthrust terminators. he/him
-------============(((◯ IT'S SLAUGHTER SPHERE SEASPN. OH YEAH.
BATTER UP < OIL UP THAT FUCKING BAT, BOY. BECAUSE I BETTER NOT SEE A SINGLE MISS FROM MY DESTINED RIVAL ON THE FIELDS OF FUCKING JUSTICE. IT'S OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK, OR OUT OF THE FUCKING LEAGUE. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < LAST LIGHT, MY PR MANAGER HAD INFORMED ME OF A MOVIE INVOLVING ANOTHER SPORT, IN WHICH ONE OF ITS MOST FAMOUS PLAYERS IS TRANSPORTED TO A WORLD IN WHICH HE IS ENLISTED TO PLAY THAT SPORT AMONGST FAMOUS CARTOON CHARACTERS, AGAINST OFFWORLDERS, IN ORDER TO SAVE THEM. OR SOMETHING. I'M NOT SURE I DIDN'T REALLY PAY ATTENTION TO THAT PART. BUT, THE WHOLE THING MADE ME WONDER - WHAT IF WE DID THE SAME PREMISE, EXCEPT FOR SLAUGHTERSPHERE? IF THERE ARE ANY MOVIE DIRECTORS ON HERE, PLEASE GET IN CONTACT WITH MY LEGAL TEAM, OR MY AGENT, IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MY IDEA AS WELL AS THE IDEA OF CASTING ME IN THE LEADING ROLE. PLEASE NOTE THAT ALTHOUGH I DO LIKE THE FUNNY ANTICS OF 'HAROLD HOPBEAST', I WOULD STILL HAPPILY BLITZ A FUCKING SLAUGHTERSPHERE THROUGH HIS PAN WITHOUT A MOMENT OF HESITATION. #VIOLENCE > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < TO THERUS. KEEP SLUGGING - BATTUR RUNMAN. IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SCREENSHOT THAT AND USE IT AS SOME KIND OF DIGITAL SIGNATURE FROM ME, KID. GOOD TO BE BACK. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < WHAT SOME WOULD CALL AN "ENDING" FOR BATTUR RUNMAN, I CALL A NEW BEGINNING. YES, I DID FUCKING MURDER A SENTIENT SLAUGHTERSPHERE (AWESOME ALLITERATION (AND AGAIN WOW)) THAT WAS THE HEAD OF A TEAL LEGAL OUTFIT. YES, I DID RETURN TO FINISH UP THE SEASON. YES, I DID FINISH AS THE HOMERUN LEADER FOR YET *ANOTHER* FUCKING SWEEP. IS ANYONE SURPRISED? NO. YOU AREN'T. THE IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW HERE? BATTUR RUNMAN NEVER DIE. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A LITTLE MORE DOWNTIME FROM THE SPORT NOW, MY HOLY FUCKING EXCALI-BAT STILL THIRSTS FOR THE CRACK OF A HOMERUN. EVERY DAY I STILL WAKE UP SCREAMING FROM HAVING THAT DAYMARE AGAIN, THAT I LET ONE THROUGH. AS LONG AS I, BATTUR RUNMAN, LIVE AND BREATHE, I WILL NOT FUCKING STOP. NO WAY. NO HOW. THAT BEING SAID, I AM GOING TO TAKE A TRIP TO TROLL HAWAII IN A FEW WIPES, AND YES, I MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVESTING 240 MILLION CAEGARS INTO A LUXURY HOUSING DEVELOPMENT PROJECT. MORE TO COME. > HOMERUN
too long, can we summarize.?
BATTER UP < MY LEGAL TEAM HAVE ADVISED ME NOT TO SIMPLY TYPE "FUCK YOU" IN RESPONSE TO THIS REPLY, BUT I'M VERY CLOSE TO DOING IT ANYWAYS. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < HOW MUCH FUCKING GAS DOES THIS FUCKING THING HAVE? THEY'RE STILL GOING. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/DDDA442C44AD.PNG > HOMERUN
GОО BATTUR GОО i'll bail yoou oout oof jail if i need too
BATTER UP < WITH GOD BEHIND ME THEY'LL NEVER FUCKING CATCH ME. THE HOLY POWERS THAT BE ARE ON MY FUCKING SIDE. FIFTEEN OF THEM HAVE CRASHED. THEY MUST BE RUNNING OUT OF BUGGIES. > HOMERUN
* ...where are you even going??
[|87 :: Holy sh;t you’re st;ll go;ng!
BATTER UP < HONESTLY I DON'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO KILL UPWARDS OF TEN LEGISLACERATORS BUT ALL THESE BUILDINGS LOOK THE SAME AND I'VE REALIZED GOREGLING "LEGISLACERATOR BUILDING" ON GOREGLE MAPS DOES NOT FUCKING WORK. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < THE NEWS IS SAYING I COULD GO FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 15 HOURS. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ON MY PALMHUSK THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < IT'S GOING WELL, I THINK. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/8A246704ED01.PNG > HOMERUN
* what a curious motorized vehicle! is that approved by traffic legislations at all :?
BATTER UP < IT IS INDEED APPROVED TO BE USED ON THE ROAD BUT AS I CURRENTLY HAPPEN TO BE "ON THE RUN" AFTER "SEVERAL THREATS TO LEGAL PERSONNEL" I THINK THERE ARE BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT AT HAND. #VIOLENCE > HOMERUN
* yeah that all sounds like a real doozy man. wishing you good luck! killer car for sure, though. definitely a home run choice! hehehe
BATTER UP < I BELIEVE THEY ARE ALSO UPSET THAT I KEEP USING MY PALMHUSK WHILE DRIVING, BUT AGAIN, THERE ARE BIGGER ISSUES HERE. > HOMERUN
* oh shit then get that thing off your hands you gotta focus up!!!!! update us when youre in a safer position geez
BATTER UP < NO IT'S COOL I'M PRETTY GOOD AT THIS WHOLE DRIVING THING AND SOMETIMES WHEN I'M TYPING I SIDE SWIPE THE BUGGY BEHIND ME WHICH I THINK IS GOOD > HOMERUN
After Learn|ng More About The Most Excellent Game Of Slaughter Sphere, | Am Cont|nually D|sappo|nted By The Dw|ndl|ng Appeal Of The Beforan Counterpart To The Sport. sure, |ts A Game, So | Would Always Respect Be|ng Challenged To Play|ng |t, But H|tt|ng The Spheres So Hard That They Bounce Back And Explode The Oppos|ng Players |s Cons|dered A Tragedy That Halts A Game, Rather Than An Event That Causes The Crowd To Roar |n Apprec|at|on. |ts Embarrass|ng Frankly After Hear|ng About The Super|or Vers|on.
BATTER UP < FANS LOVE WHEN I ATOMIZE PEOPLE ON THE FIELD. I CAN'T IMAGINE THE SPORT BEING PLAYED ANY OTHER WAY. AND IF WE ALLOW THEM TO PUSH ME OUT, AS THEY ARE TRYING TO DO, THEN SLAUGHTER SPHERE MIGHT JUST GO #WOKE > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < WITH THE REVELATION THAT 'BIG SLAUGHTER SPHERE' IS JUST USING THE LEGAL SYSTEM TO KEEP BATTUR RUNMAN DOWN, I HAVE GRABBED THE WORK PALMHUSK WITH WHICH I AM USUALLY SUPERVISED USING, AND HAVE MADE A FUCKING BREAK FOR IT. MY MANAGER AND OUR LEGAL TEAM CANNOT FUCKING STOP ME. I HAVE ALREADY CHANGED THE PASSWORD. I AM BATTUR FUCKING UNLEASHED. THE LEGAL SYSTEM WILL BE DISMANTLED BY MY FUCKING HANDS. > HOMERUN
|mpress|ve Work Mr Runman, | Had A Feel|ng You Were A Powerful Troll Who Def|ned The|r Own Dest|ny.
BATTER UP < AND YOU WERE RIGHT. THE FUTURE OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE RESTS ON MY SHOULDERS. AND IF THAT MEANS I HAVE TO DISSUADE THE LEGAL SYSTEM BY KILLING UPWARDS OF 10 LEGISLACERATORS, THEN SO BE IT. > HOMERUN
WE BALL
BATTER UP < BALL? > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD RECENTLY THAT I, BATTUR RUNMAN, HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN A LITTLE SCANDAL AND HAVE BEEN ASKED BY MY LEGAL TEAM TO MAKE A STATEMENT REGARDING IT. LAST WIPE, A FAN APPROACHED ME AND ASKED ME TO SIGN THEIR VINTAGE BAT - AN HONOR FOR ME, TO SEE SOMEONE SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE SPORT, WHO IS ALSO A FAN OF MINE. OF COURSE, I SIGNED IT WITHOUT HESITATION. HE RAN OFF. LATER THAT DAY, WHILE ON A LONG WALK I ENCOUNTERED THIS FAN USING SAID BAT TO PLAY, I BELIEVE IT WAS CALLED "CRICKET". WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? FIRST OF ALL, HARDLY EVEN A REAL FUCKING SPORT. SECOND OF ALL, IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT FUCKING BAT? SO, LET ME TELL YOU, THE FURY THAT I FLEW INTO UPON SEEING HIM USING THAT PRISTINE BAT FOR SOME UTTER BARKBEAST SHIT, IT WAS WARRANTED. IT WAS NECESSARY. AND HONESTLY, I SHOULD BE THANKED FOR THIS. ANYWAYS. I'LL BE BENCHED UNTIL MY COURT DATE IS OVER. FUCK. #VIOLENCE > HOMERUN
its okay battur!! you did the right thing!!
BATTER UP < I KNOW I DID. BUT UNFORTUNATELY "THE LEGAL SYSTEM" DOES NOT SEE THINGS THE SAME WAY. > HOMERUN
agents of the slaughter spheres all of them! >B(
BATTER UP < HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCKING FUCK. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. BIG SLAUGHTER SPHERE IS USING ITS DASTARDLY FUCKING AGENTS TO HOLD ME DOWN. IMAGINE HOW MANY BALLS MIGHT GET THROUGH. HOW MANY PEOPLE MIGHT RUN THE BASES. HOW MANY PEOPLE MIGHT *GULP* REACH HOME FUCKING PLATE. I'M SHAKING. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. > HOMERUN
Somet|mes | Get Nostalg|c For My Days Back |n The Underground F|duspawn Arena. The Cool Metal Of The Shock Collar On Your Neck So You Know That Everyone There |s Play|ng For Keeps. There's A Certa|n M|ssed Sat|sfact|on |n Watch|ng Your Enem|es Get Repeatedly Electrocuted After Each Blundered Play. however, Desp|te That Nostalg|a, | Would Hardly Lower Myself To Go Back After All The Advances |n Duel|ng Flapstract|on Technology Done By Kanasta Corp. At The End Of The Day, The Game |s All That Truly Matters.
BATTER UP < WHEN I JOINED MY FIRST TEAM, THEY TOO ATTACHED A COLLAR TO MY NECK AND SAID "BOY, IF YOU DON'T KNOCK AT LEAST ONE OF THESE TEN BALLS OUT OF THE PARK, THAT THING IS GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE." LET ME TELL YOU. I SMASHED SO MANY OF THOSE BALLS OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK, THE GUY WHO PUT THE COLLAR ON ME WENT, "I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I HAVE FUCKING DONE," PUT THE COLLAR ON HIMSELF, AND BLEW HIS OWN SHIT SKY FUCKING HIGH. MORAL OF THE STORY? NEVER UNDERESTIMATE BATTUR RUNMAN. #VIOLENCE > HOMERUN
| Respect The Hell Out Of That M|ster Battur Runman. Complete And Utter Obl|terat|on Of All Oppos|t|on When Challenged |s The Only Way To Play Any Game.
BATTER UP < IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO SIMPLY WIN. EVERY OPPONENT NEEDS TO FEEL MY FUCKING WRATH, DEEP IN THEIR SOUL, FOR SIMPLY HAVING THE IDIOTIC THOUGHT OF ATTEMPTING TO PLAY AGAINST ME. GLAD TO SEE YOU FEEL THE SAME. > HOMERUN
sometimes i think about cutting but remember i barely if at all have any pain receptors in my limbs so why bother
BATTER UP < BATTUR RUNMAN UNDERSTANDS THAT A LOT OF DAYS ARE HARD. SOME DAYS ARE HARDER THAN OTHERS. AS ONE OF MY ADORING FANS, BATTUR RUNMAN IS HAPPY THAT YOU ARE STILL HERE AND APPRECIATES YOU THE SAME WAY YOU APPRECIATE HIM. NOW! BATTUR RUNMAN IS TELLING YOU TO GO DO SOMETHING FUCKING NICE FOR YOURSELF, OR HE WILL INTENTIONALLY LET THE NEXT BALL THROUGH. THE FIRST STRIKE EVER. AND NEITHER OF US WANT THAT, DO WE? > HOMERUN
◌ I have mixed feelings on the club. ⧂
BATTER UP < I NEVER HAVE ANY MIXED FEELINGS ON MY "CLUB." THOUGH, CALLING MY BAT, MY FUCKING WEAPON FROM THE HEAVENS, AS MERELY A CLUB, FEELS A LITTLE DISRESPECTFUL TO MY FAITHFUL LIFE PARTNER. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELF. BATTUR RUNMAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST WIPE? AND I WOULD TELL YOU. I HAVE BEEN ON A SHORT RETREAT, "CENTERING MY CHAKRAS" OR SOME FUCKING SHIT LIKE THAT. IS THAT WHAT YOU DO WITH CHARKAS? WHATEVER. THE POINT IS THAT BATTUR RUNMAN HAS ASCENDED TO A HIGHER TIER OF BEING. MY THIRD EYE HAS OPENED. NOW, WHEN I STEP ON TO THE FIELD, I CAN NOT ONLY VISIBLY SEE THE SLAUGHTER SPHERES WITH MY GANDERBULBS, BUT I CAN SENSE THE VERY ESSENCE OF THEIR BEING. BEFORE EVEN TOUCHING A BAT, THESE PATHETIC THINGS THINK TO THEMSELVES "HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HE'S GOING TO KNOCK US OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK." SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY I AM DOMINATING THESE SPHERES ON THE FIELD, AND AS SUCH I AM FORMALLY PUTTING IN A REQUEST TO THE COMISSION TO COUNT EVERY HOMERUN AS COUNTING AS TWO HOMERUNS. > HOMERUN
BATTUR RUNMAN!!
im your BIGGEST fan...
BATTER UP < ARE YOU CERTAIN THIS IS TRUE? I HAVE MANY PEOPLE COMING TO ME SAYING THIS. "I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN BATTUR RUNMAN." TO WHICH I SAY, WHERE IS YOUR AUTOGRAPHED BATTUR RUNMAN WIFFLE BAT WHICH YOU USED AS A GRUB, IN AN ATTEMPT TO REPLICATE MY GREATNESS? WHERE IS YOUR SIGNED REVERSE-HOLO TRIPLE SLEEVED BATTUR RUNMAN ROOKIE CARD, FROM WHEN I WAS STILL A LEGEND ON THE FIELD BUT LESSER KNOWN TO THE POPULACE? AND MORE RECENTLY, HOW MANY FUCKING BATTUR RUNMAN MEALS DID YOU FUCKING PURCHASE AT TROLL WENDYS? > HOMERUN
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1407474205431431270/1507786493542793409/image.png?ex=6a132b19&is=6a11d999&hm=bb1713cc74710994fbbc2110b8228949121ba4e52a9624cf913013a2a7eaf236&=&format=webp&quality=lossless
BATTER UP < INCREDIBLE. I AM TRULY SPEECHLESS BY YOUR DEVOTION TO MY CAUSE. THANK YOU FOR BEING A FAN AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SMASH SLAUGHTER SPHERES INTO THE FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. HOLD FAST. I WILL NOT FAIL YOU. MY BIGGEST FAN. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < GOING TO START FOLLOWING A FEW ACCOUNTS ON HERE AS MY PR TEAM HAS ADVISED ME, IN THEIR WORDS, "THOUGH YOU ARE A GOD AT SLAUGHTER SPHERE YOU NEED TO LOWER YOURSELF DOWN TO THE LEVEL OF OTHERS AND MAKE THEM FEEL AS IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEM." TO WHICH I SAID FUCKING ALRIGHT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW THAT BUTTON WAS THERE, SO LET'S CHILL OUT A FUCKING LITTLE. IF YOU ARE A TRUE #BATTURRUNHEAD PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISPENSE A FOLLOW ON THIS WEBSITE. HOW MANY ARE WE EVEN ALLOWED TO FUCKING HAVE. > HOMERUN
Big fan
BATTER UP < DO YOU REALLY FUCKING LOOK LIKE THAT? SORRY. THAT WAS INSENSITIVE. BUT SERIOUSLY. > HOMERUN
Woould yoou prefer me too be
BATTER UP < MY LEGAL TEAM HAS ADVISED ME NOT TO GIVE A STRONG OPINION ON FANS THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED "INCITING CONFLICT." > HOMERUN