♦ pitied by @ponyPal
Gee wilkers that is some vivid imagery. You sure abandoned your post as high sheriff of internet virtue faster than a fella running from a bar tab didnt ya? Not that im complaining course what if trading in all that sermonizing for a good old fashioned tussle is what it takes to finally get get some gosh darn excitement around here then consider me a hushed puppy. And contrary to your apparent track record i do believe i shall be the one to finally get you good and proper under my firm hand. Guess i better brace my britches and get the saddle ready then seeing as ive got myself a stallion to break.
anonymous asks: "Opinions on cherubs? Visually speaking? Asking for a friend." i mean, if youre hot, youre good in my book. shrug. hmu and vwell see, yeah? ;) #askcro #cherubs
When yoou fall and yoour bulge leaves a big ass imprint oon the groound oomgggg soo embarrassing
⚇ Suffering (Of Laymac, The Academic) 20:20 ⚇ "Destroy all the sacred texts you want, you FILTHY, lowly TRASH. Burn the history, burn our bodies, burn it all to the motherfucking ground but the one thing you guttersnipes will NEVER be able to burn is our faith. Held fast and true in our blood pushers and think pans, never to be let go. And the best part? Maybe our history will be gone, but we'll make more of it. The Church will NEVER be destroyed, but you? By the time you're gone, the family will have recovered and built back all the motherfucking STRONGER!" ⚇ #MirthfulChittr #Scripture #Clownposting ⚇
Happy #wrasslinwednesday to one and all! Rules are simple: wrassle something today. A rival. A friend. A nebulous on-again-off-again situationship that youre shirking the calls of. Doesnt matter just get yourself a good scrum in!
the energies are so tense. heawvy. agonizing. terrible.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f606f9a67f0e.gif
there are approximately zero of you that i actually like but sometimes i like posts because i knoww the vvery notion wwill make the recipients carapace crawwl
Let's talk about subs. Or rather, let's talk about the strawman fallacy of sexual identity because god forbid anyone just enjoy a single fucking thing without erecting a whole personality shrine to it. You've decided that kneeling on a rug for twenty minutes constitutes a dedicated ontology, like the guy in the gimp suit and a flogger discovered a pillar of the human condition. He didn't. He found a hobby. You found a hobby. Congratulations, you've discovered that leisure activities exist, a fact the universe will continue to be spectacularly indifferent to. "But Dirk", I hear you cry around your PetSmart patented chew toy, "kinks are there to allow exploration of the body and mind, to be free of the shackles of modern society, to shed the ego and touch something primal and honest that capitalism stole from us at birth." You get your nipples clamped for ninety seconds and suddenly you need a full post-scene debrief with the emotional production values of a director's commentary track. Bonus features. Deleted scenes. A whole featurette on "the making of my subspace." Nobody asked for the Criterion edition of your feelings. You did a bit. A fun little bit in a warm room with snacks nearby, and where the only ever real threat was if you shat the bed calling a guy twice your age "daddy". Giving up control is only impressive if you had any to begin with. You were always gonna outsource your executive dysfunction. The collar just gave it a font. #nsfw #nsfwe #bdsm #fetish #kink
not the iin2ufferable olympiic2. #liivepo2tiing
objectivwely this is howv im feeling right nowv
made myself some vwicked fanart since none of my fans do it for me. as you can see, im laying dovwn vwith my tvwo main gals bettie and sherry. #fanart #theycantresistme #bettiepage #sherrywvalance
There is no rod near my beast or whatever the flipping hell you said just now at all i can assure you that. Only the gun show and a penchant for roughhousing.
It has been told to me that it is unfair that I speak to and about Alternia without offering you lot any insight into myself. I suppose it is time that I engage in such radical behavior. Although I come from no creed that could possibly be considered a species, despite the innumerable doppelgangers you may know in regard to me, I am still aware and capable of having the semblance of a culture. I will now inform you that I possess a peculiar system of categorizing bonds. It is not too dissimilar to the idea of Quadrants that I had imposed upon Alternia, and had subsequently affected the Carapacians. This method is known as my Pocket System. It is not romance. I am incapable of such warm emotions as love, or true fondness. Rather, it is your relationship adjacent to me in a functional sense. This is accommodation through classification. There are six pockets. There are fifteen numbered balls. Individuals may occupy the same pocket where appropriate, though solids and stripes are never permitted to coexist within one. The distinction is important. Solids denote those upon whom I exert the greater influence. Stripes denote those whose presence requires a degree of accommodation on my part. The number is the indicator of the severity of that imbalance. Higher numbers place the advantage more firmly with me. Lower numbers indicate a greater willingness, on my part, to permit the individual to dictate the terms of our interaction. The eight-ball, naturally, is an exception. And before some particularly pedantic human attempts to inform me that this does not correspond precisely with the numbering of a regulation billiards set, I assure you that I am aware. I am describing an interpersonal metaphysical framework. I am not beholden to the manufacturing specifications of your sporting goods industry. You have quadrants. Humans have constructed an exhausting assortment of labels for essentially the same purpose. I have billiards. Mine happens to be the most elegant. I should also clarify that occupying a pocket does not mean I am "dating" someone, "in love" with them, "crushing" on them, "pining" after them, or any of the other juvenile descriptions I have seen applied to the matter. I cannot feel romance. I cannot feel love. I do not possess some secret reservoir of tenderness which merely requires the correct person to pry open. There is no tragically neglected little organ beneath my waistcoat waiting to discover that, against all odds, I was capable of affection all along. How embarrassing that would be. What I possess is purpose. There are things which must occur. There are conditions which must be satisfied. There are individuals whose continued presence, cooperation, obedience, opposition, survival, suffering, development, or simple proximity contributes to those outcomes. Occasionally, one such individual becomes unusually compelling. I may wish to speak with them more often. I may prefer their company to that of others. I may arrange circumstances so that our paths continue to intersect. I may become irritated when someone interferes with them. I may devote a disproportionate amount of thought to predicting their behavior. I may indulge them in ways that would be strategically unnecessary for anyone else. I may even, under particularly unusual circumstances, alter my own conduct in anticipation of their preferences. None of this is romance. It simply means they have become deeply relevant to my objectives. The fact that an individual may remain deeply relevant after their immediate utility has expired is not evidence to the contrary. It merely suggests that my objectives are more complicated than you understand. The pockets exist because relevance comes in different forms, and because I prefer to know precisely what sort of bond I am dealing with before it has the opportunity to become inconvenient. A table is much easier to manage when every ball has a position, every position has a name, and every possible collision has already been considered. That is all this is. A means of determining where people belong in relation to me. A means of measuring how much influence may safely travel in either direction. A means of distinguishing a useful attachment from a dangerous one. A means of observing when someone has begun occupying rather more space on the table than circumstances reasonably require. You may call that romance if doing so amuses you. You will still be wrong. It is categorization. To dig into this further, I suppose I can elaborate somewhat upon the truest natures of the pockets and the balls. There are six pockets. The first Head Corner is my Instrument. They accomplish something for me. Employees, agents, collaborators, useful obstacles, sources of information, and any individual whose presence serves some identifiable component of my greater architecture may find themselves here. Importantly, developing a preference for an Instrument does not necessarily alter their classification. Enjoying the company of someone who performs useful work is perfectly explicable through utility. There is no need to make it embarrassing. My other Head Corner is my Charge. This is someone for whom I have assumed responsibility. Protection, cultivation, education, maintenance, rehabilitation, custody. A Charge does not necessarily work for me. Indeed, they may accomplish nothing useful whatsoever. The defining element is that I have already determined their continued welfare, development, survival, or proper management to be my concern. The first Foot Corner is Fascination. Somehow, I continue engaging this individual because I find them compelling. Their mind, behavior, contradictions, potential, unpredictable nerves. Perhaps it is none of these things. Perhaps there is simply some quality which continues to reward observation. This bond does not necessarily further my objectives in the strictest possible sense. Although continued observation may, of course, prevent the Fascination from interfering with them. Conveniently. The alternative Foot Corner is my Adversary. A rival. A foe. Competition. An ideological obstruction. Someone whose continued opposition has developed sufficient structure that simply eliminating them would resolve less than continuing the contest. It is perhaps the closest analogue to a kismesis you will find within my system, though naturally without that dreadful affection you insist upon attaching to the concept. The two Side Pockets are Obligation and Indulgence. The first is someone to whom I am bound. A promise, office, cosmic function, debt, contract, prophecy, hierarchy, or inevitability. It is the only pocket in which the continued existence of the bond inherently constrains me as well. I may dislike the arrangement. I may manipulate every available term within it. The fundamental obligation nevertheless remains. The latter is my most dreadfully embarrassing pocket. Indulgence. I have no sufficient strategy in mind for this individual. I simply seek their company for my own selfish purposes. I may make exceptions for them. Grant requests I am under no obligation to grant. Remember little preferences which have no appreciable bearing upon anything important. Arrange circumstances simply because I believe they will enjoy them. Permit interruptions. Encourage their return. I insist that this remains categorization. Now, the balls. The pocket tells me what the bond is. The ball tells me which direction the bond bends. A striped ball indicates that I accommodate the individual. A solid indicates that the individual accommodates me. The farther the number travels from eight, the more severe that arrangement becomes. The first seven are stripes. The 1-ball is Precedence. The individual's wishes take precedence over mine within the scope of our bond. I may interpret their instructions. I may decide how best to execute them. I may even manipulate the circumstances surrounding the decision. But when our intentions genuinely conflict, I yield. The 2-ball is Deference. I ordinarily abide by their decisions. My influence remains considerable, naturally, but I offer counsel rather than command. Their refusal possesses actual finality. The 3-ball is Accommodation. I reorganize myself around them to a meaningful degree. Schedules alter. Methods change. Plans acquire additional considerations. Their comfort, intentions, or preferences become substantial enough to modify my conduct even where modification is not strictly necessary. The 4-ball is Concession. The individual possesses legitimate leverage. Neither of us receives precisely what we want by default. I compromise. They compromise. Their objections can materially alter an outcome. The 5-ball is Consideration. Their opinion carries unusual weight. I remain perfectly capable of ignoring it, but I would prefer not to. Approval, satisfaction, cooperation, or comfort becomes a factor worthy of consideration rather than an incidental benefit. The 6-ball is Allowance. I retain the greater hand in most matters, but I permit liberties from this individual which would become irritating very quickly if attempted by someone else. They may inconvenience me. Contradict me. Distract me. Demand things. Within reason. The 7-ball is Favor. The lightest stripe. I remain unmistakably the controlling presence, but if there is no compelling reason to deny them, I tend to let them have what they want. I believe the human word for this is "being nice." I would prefer you refrain from using it. Then comes the 8-ball. The eight-ball is neither stripe nor solid. It is Impasse. There is no reliable direction of precedence. Authority shifts according to circumstance. Attempts to establish a permanent hierarchy repeatedly fail. I may control one aspect of the bond absolutely while discovering myself hopelessly beholden in another. The relationship cannot be made neat. This is precisely why the eight-ball is dangerous. A properly ordered table is built upon knowing who is striking and who is being moved. The remaining seven balls are solids. The 9-ball is Guidance. The weakest solid. I lead, but lightly. Advice, suggestion, expertise, favorable positioning. The 10-ball is Direction. I establish the general course. The individual may object, negotiate particulars, propose alternatives, or occasionally persuade me toward another method, but there is an understood expectation that I am the one determining where we are going. The 11-ball is Authority. My judgment ordinarily prevails. Resistance is permitted. Debate may even be entertaining. Ultimately, however, I expect my decision to be accepted once I have made it sufficiently clear. The 12-ball is Governance. I actively structure the individual's circumstances. I arrange resources, opportunities, information, environments, and limitations. Their life remains theirs, of course. I simply happen to exercise a substantial amount of influence over what that life is permitted to contain. The 13-ball is Custody. Their autonomy exists within boundaries I establish. They may possess tremendous freedom inside those boundaries, but I consider myself entitled to intervene when they exceed them. Their conduct, safety, usefulness, or development has become something I believe I possess standing to regulate. You may notice some overlap with the Charge pocket here. Do try to keep up. A pocket describes the nature of the bond. A ball describes its balance. A 13-ball Charge and a 13-ball Instrument are very different arrangements. The 14-ball is Command. Obedience is expected. Requests are very often instructions which I have been polite enough to phrase pleasantly. Initiative may be encouraged. Eccentricity may be tolerated. Disagreement may even be useful. But the underlying hierarchy should not require explanation. The 15-ball is Possession. The extreme solid. At this point, I do not merely expect obedience. I consider the definition of the individual's role to be substantially my prerogative. Their purpose, position, acceptable behavior, and relationship to my greater designs are matters over which I exercise overwhelming authority. There are less delicate words for this arrangement. I am choosing not to use them. You may now understand why merely knowing someone's pocket is insufficient. An Instrument may be a 15, a perfectly obedient tool whose purpose I have already decided. An Instrument may also be a 2, which produces the considerably more amusing circumstance of someone ostensibly working toward my objectives while I continually reorganize those objectives according to their judgment. A 14-ball Charge is someone I protect by controlling nearly every variable around them. A 4-ball Charge is someone I have declared myself responsible for and then, rather inconveniently, discovered can tell me how that responsibility will be exercised. A 13-ball Adversary fights me within a contest whose boundaries I control. A 3-ball Adversary has somehow arranged matters so that my opposition to them dictates my own behavior more often than theirs. A 10-ball Indulgence is someone I spoil while maintaining the comfortable fiction that I remain entirely in command of the arrangement. A 5-ball Indulgence is apparently what several of you insist upon calling a "crush." It is not. And a 1-ball Indulgence would describe an individual for whom I repeatedly, voluntarily, and substantially alter my behavior for no sufficient reason beyond the fact that they desired it. Such a classification would be absurd. I am certain no such individual exists. There. I have now exposed more of myself to you than was strictly necessary. And I would appreciate it if you stopped asking whom I am courting. Simply because I do not court. This is not any semblance of romance. It is a one-sided categorization of our impermanent relationships.
horsie :D shes litrally so nice
Aw! Thank you for this wonderous drawing Dirk of the @ponyPal account! Your kind words truly warm my pusher and 8ring a smile to my face. ::::D
The uninitiated human beings of this platform could say much the same for your ilk!
It is only a reference to a funny video, he is not actually the leader of anything. Get your panties un8unched, mister.
I live to combine words in your comments, specifically. I do hope at some point you catch yourself saying it, though.
anonymous asks: "humps you crazy style" take me to dinner first, pal. then vwell talk. svwear. ;) #nsfvw #askcro
What a dreadfully boring day.
I'm tired of pawple trying to play furendly with me have I not been hostile in an offputting enough way...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
if u think about it this is kinda like how they started givin pikachu lipo between consoles