Kurloz Makara
@taciturnTerror
:o) / :o( / There will be NSFW.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠! A proud, family-managed enterprise operating outside the boundaries of narrative stability, the Felt is looking to renew an expansion initiative under the continued supervision of myself, pending direct oversight by Lord English of multiversal destruction fame. Applicants are encouraged to review the following qualifications before submission. Our standards are exacting. Applicants are expected to exhibit a certain cultivated flair. We are not interested in recruiting common goons who grunt through their problems akin to bovines wandering into traffic. We seek individuals with presence. Those among you who understand that presentation is not ancillary to violence, but rather violence's elegant twin sibling. A proper Felt operative should be capable of entering a room and causing discomfort or envy without speaking a single word. The best among you will manage it without even entering the room. Experience with temporal anomalies, organized tactics, occult practices, cue sports, assassination, extortion, psychological warfare, or narrative manipulation is preferred. Applicants capable of violating causality in a pleasing manner are especially encouraged to apply. Do not be embarrassed to specify your supernatural or otherwise absurd gimmick. Naturally, some may inquire as to workplace expectations. The only real requirement is professionalism. The Felt is an institution that values decorum, punctuality, and loyalty. One should arrive to assignments properly dressed, armed, and psychologically prepared for the possibility that one's coworkers possess foreknowledge of one's own death. Such circumstances should not interfere with productivity. You will find the work stimulating. At times, literally so. Gunfire is common, alongside paradoxes, doomed timelines, eldritch encounters, internal betrayals, and long stretches of deeply uncomfortable silence shared between dangerous individuals in suits so expensive entire civilizations had to culminate and work themselves to death to produce them. The benefits package is exceedingly generous. Employees receive a wardrobe stipend sufficient to maintain the organization's dignified chromatic standards. Resurrection leave is provided where applicable. Dental coverage remains available in stable timelines. You will enjoy access to private galas, exclusive social functions, and networking opportunities with aristocrats, immortals, and monsters of social standing. Few organizations offer advancement opportunities capable of transcending time itself. Some applicants may express concern regarding upward mobility. You will discover the Felt embraces meritocracy with admirable sincerity. Demonstrate your competence, survive impossible odds, assassinate your targets in a stylish manner, and your ambition will be rewarded. Of course, failure is punished. You will be guided, observed, curated, and cultivated with the same care one might apply to an ornamental species in a gilded laboratory. The Felt does not inherently promise safety, morality, or psychological wellbeing. What I offer is vastly more valuable. Importance. After all, obscurity is the closest thing your species has to true death.
Yo. It's be really funny if
:o) I enjoy a middle manager position in our esteemed organization :o) We are excited to have others join our happy little family, and we would welcome you with open arms :o) And stitched shut jaws :o) And truly. :o) Who wouldn't want to work alongside me?
THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. TO APPEAR ON THE ESTEEMED. BITCHES ONLY. #YURI TIER. WITH @ARCHIVEADDICT. PROBABLY #SCISSORING. THIS IS A COLOSSAL. WORLD DESTROYING. GODKILLING W. I NEVER IMAGINED. I WOULD ASCEND ABOVE 7. IN THE ORGANIZATIONAL CHART. IT'S AN HONOR. AS THE WISE ANCIENTS SAID. THE STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER. I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY VALUED PROFESSIONAL CONTACTS. @CALIBORN. 7. 8. 15. 4. @TACITURNTERROR. RANKYCHAN. VARIOUS CLOWNS. WHOSE NAMES I NEVER BOTHERED TO LEARN. OH. AND. OF COURSE. THE VITALLY IMPORTANT. AND PIVOTAL. @ARQUIUSPRITE. #NSFW
:o) Congratulations, Damara no kimi. :o) You have worked hard :o) As the #AlphaBitch :o) For your place in our chain :o) And I am always so grateful to be the living stool :o) Upon which you stand :o) To match eyes with taller opponents you can kick me if you want
AND THANK FuCK WE HAVE A MIDDLE MANAGER. MY MIDDLE NEEDS MANAGING. I NEED SOMEONE QuALIFIED AND SPECIAL TO RuB AT MY EXPOSED uNDERBELLY WITH SuBDuED PITTER PATTER. FINGER TuTS. AND MEANDERING MASSAGE. WHENEVER I EAT TOO FAST. AND NEED TO BE MORE HORIZONTAL. MORIZONTAL IF YOu WILL. NEW WORD. FOR A WHILE.
:o) Always happy to be of assistance, my Lord. :o) My deft fingers will dance like the sugarplum fairies of Cherub lore :o) Over your round belly :o) Easing your aches and pains while your claws dip into the paints I have provided nearby. :o) For you to alter my paint pattern :o) So that you are not bored.
NO. FUCKING. WAY. I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING CHARACTERISTICALLY HYSTERICAL, BUT I NEED YOU, AS THEY SAY, "SAY SIKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW." DID IT NOT SUFFICIENTLY TICKLE YOUR FUCKING SHAME GLOBES TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED AS A FIGURE OF *COSMOLOGICAL* IMPORT BY BEFORUS'S TENURED PSYCHO-BITCH LOREMASTER? YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT NARRATIVE GEAR-JAMMING BONE BULGE OF YOURS AND SELL IT TO THE *METRO TIMESHIT AUTHORITY?* SO THEY CAN EXPLOIT EVERY JOKE YOU EVER CRACK, SPONSOR EVERY ONE (1) RAISIN YOU EAT FOR BREAKFAST, MILK YOU DRY OF EVERY LAST DROP OF INFLAMMATORY CLOUT JUICE IN YOUR BODY LIKE A FUCKING HERDBEAST BEFORE THEY TURN YOU INTO YESTERDAY'S CULLBEEF? ARE YOU SMOKING *CRACK?* LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. "WOULD IT BE FUNNY?" YES. FOR FIVE FREE-BLEEDING MINUTES OF "LOL, LMAO"-ELICITING GIGGLESPASMING, IT WOULD BE A NOVELTY ON THE TIMELINE. AND THEN IT WOULD NOSEDIVE INTO THE MOST SEVERE SPATIAL-TEMPORAL CRASHOUT THIS SITE HAS EVER SEEN. I'M SO CONCERNED THAT YOU'LL ACTUALLY PULL THIS DUMPSTER-SPONGED STUNT THAT AT THIS POINT, IF THERE WAS A *NON-ZERO* PERCENT CHANCE THAT YOU'D FOLLOW THROUGH, I WOULD THROW MY APPLICATION RIGHT IN THERE JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT SOMEONE WITH MORE THAN TWO PAN CELLS TO SQUEAK TOGETHER IS THERE TO KEEP YOU FROM BLOWING UP A FUCKING UNIVERSE. SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. CULL THE "T"S AND BLOT THE "I"S. IF YOUR STUPID ASS IS APPLYING TO THE FULL-TIME POSITION OF "FLOOR SHITTER," THEN I'M CLOCKING IN AS THE FUCKING JANITOR. SO OBVIOUSLY, DON'T DO THIS. SO THAT THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN.
HE’S FUNNY. @SCRATCHDOCTOR CAN WE HAVE HIM. HE CLEARLY HAS MANY DESIRABLE TRAITS. INCLUDING RAGE. JOKES. LOUDNESS. AND VOLUNTEERING TO BE THE JANITOR. MY LEAST FAVORITE HANDMAID TASK. PLEASE. PLEASE. HE CAN BE ON CHEW TOY TIER. WITH @ARQUIUSPRITE. ONEGAI.
:o) I second this. :o) I would very much like Mr. Vantas around :o) For a variety of reasons.
wa1t... 1s that why that wh1te guy followed me? 😨 bro 1 a1n't gett1ng caught up 1n any more tr1angles, trust...
(\ /) it appears so. i advise to try to keep your distance from him and his consecutive 'others'.
oh okay, cool... qu1ck quest1on, what about my boy @tac1turnTerror and my g1rl damz @handMa1d? theyre both cool, r1ght? l1ke, 1 don't wanna just drop them all a sudden, haha...
:o) Do not be concerned, Rufibro :o) Repeat after me. All is well. You are safe.
All 1s well. 1 am safe.
:o) See? ;o) Doesn't that feel good?
yes... 1t feels good, s1r...
:o) We can take this into DMs now.
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING.
ah. damara.
:o) Let us also. :o) Take this into DMs
The Rankmaid had followed the Writer. It seemed she was awakened sooner than the Writer had anticipated. What was she to do today? Smoke a cigarette, write another fic? Speak to those that pine for her? Those who shouldn't pine? Or to Him who she's owned by? The bad choice. She was always the bad choice. She shook her head. She wouldn't think of that. Not right now. Not right now. #TheScript
There was fear, rage, it was all a cocktail of anger. How did he know that? How did he know! Not even Dearie knew of this act! She couldn't have ratted this out to the Writer, couldn't she? No, no! If she knew, she wouldn't try so hard! She would have given up! How could she beat that!? She's a LIAR! SHE'S A RAT! SHE'S- He was speechless. He was useless. Standing there in the face of adversity. What could he do? #TheScript
you cant know this YOU CAN'T MOTHERFUCKING KNOW THIS GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
He was adamant that the writer was in his head. A ceruleanblood, maybe. Someone with advanced psionics!! Yes. That's it, that had to be it! But no it wasn't. It really, really wasn't. That was the scariest part. #TheScript
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
HE WOULD SAY IT! AGAIN, AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!!! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND NONE OF IT, NOT EVEN ONE WORD!!! mattered. #TheScript
STAY THE MOTHERFUCK AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM THE RANKMAID! SHE... shes already been through so much please.
He pleaded. Pleaded for her. ... Pleading would not do enough. Pleading would... ... ... ... #TheScript
what? pleading would what.
Silence. ... For once, in a long time. He didn't know what was coming. #TheScript
fuck
Kurloz believed he was in a darkspot. Kurloz believed he had advantage. Kurloz believes he isn't watched. Kurloz is wrong. #TheScript
:o) Cute. :o) Very. Very. Cute. :o) Nobody likes a squealer.
Yet despite this. She would do her best to continue to be herself. Who was she, if not loved? If not cherished. Even when the fog came, She'd go into it knowing at the very least... The people were rooting for her. #thescript
:o) You really should quit being so creepy. thats my territory
Kurlos was baffled, why was he named in the Writer's script? His hands shook, fidgeting with nothing. He knew what was to come. So why was he scared? #thescript
do not act like you know me motherfucker DO NOT ACT LIKE YOU KNOW A DAMN MOTHERFUCKING THING.
He typed out furiously! Furious, he was always prone to his rage, his hate. He thought he changed, he thought that he knew everything there was to know. He was His priest, His loyal servant! Why didn't He predict this? #thescript
what my Lord deigns to tell me or not tell me is His prerogative. :o) I am naught but a humble servant. :o) You do NOT have control here.
This is how he would justify it, this is how everything was right again. And even if this ... WRITER had a SEMBLANCE of influence, it didn't matter. It didn't matter. #thescript
it doesn't matter WHAT? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD! HEINOUS HERETIC. APOSTATE FREAK!
He flared, he screamed. His chucklevoodoo would do nothing. He would have to accept this as is. He would have to take in a new influence. This, to him, was unacceptable. #thescript
ABSOLUTELY MOTHERFUCKING UNACCEPTABLE! SO YOU CAN DO A BIT OF MIND READING, WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK EVER! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FRAUD! A LONELY LIL' MOTHERFUCKER ALL ALONE WITH A TYPEWRITER. ... :o( Why do I feel like I heard that noise somewhere before...?
He had accepted it. There was nothing else he could od. #thescript
theres nothin' else i can do
EUGH, THE FUCK?! GET! OUT! OF! MY! HEAD!