Kurloz Makara, The Miracult Preacher
@taciturnTerror
:o) / :o( / There will be NSFW. https://forms.gle/aSPRBixHP5pts3BE7 <-- Askbox
it used to be you could just vwalk up to a dame, grab her ass, and start sucking face. but nowv theres all this hemming and havwing, evwerythings gotta be this big production. maybe i aint in the mood for a vwhole convwersation, maybe i just vwanna get dowvn and dirty vwith a bodacious bombshell broad. is that too much to ask?
:o) Sometimes you say the most despicable things... :o) Hee hee hee
like youd say anything if i slapped your ass right nowv, harpo.
;o) Hee hee. ;o) Did I say I was criticizing you?
:o) Not long now, my dear friends. The third #NightsofFrights occurs in but a short two hours (and change) :o) On our roster today is The Addams Family (from Earth Year 1991) and American Psycho. :o) Content warnings for both will be posted in reply chits, as always. :o) I hope to see you there...~
:o) The Addams Family content warnings: Comic/macabre violence Weapons, including knives, swords, guns, and crossbows Children deliberately attempting to injure one another, played for comedy Torture devices / restraint Electrocution played for humor Brief blood and fake/gag gore Death threats and references to murder Fire / burning imagery Seances, graves, corpses, and general death imagery Mild frightening or grotesque imagery Sexual innuendo Passionate kissing / suggestive dialogue BDSM/torture-related sexual jokes Mild profanity Alcohol use and cigar smoking
:o) American Psycho content warnings: Graphic bloody violence and murder Gore and graphic injury detail Violence against women Threats with weapons Severed body parts / corpses Animal killing Sustained psychological threat Explicit sexual content Threesomes / sex involving multiple partners Sex workers Sexualized violence and abusive sexual behavior Nudity, including breasts and buttocks Explicit sexual dialogue Misogyny and degrading treatment of women Homophobic, racist, and antisemitic language/references Strong profanity Cocaine use Heavy alcohol use Smoking Infidelity Obsessive behavior, narcissism, and severe psychological instability Disturbing descriptions/references involving murder and bodies
i have a question mostly for #abcc #abcc-chattr enjoyers hehe but i guess for chittr at large to! what counts as romance to you? sure there should be like flush or pitch or pale or ashen feelings and all that stuff but what reaaaaaaaaaally makes something a romance or what makes something romantic???
:o) A wide question...But to me, a romance becoming a romance is something you feel. An enthralling sensation of empathy for the characters. :o) Utterly intoxicating...
:o) Today, as promised, is the second #NightsofFrights! :o) Today we will be showing The Dark Crystal and Obsession, in roughly 9 1/2 hours from this post's posting. :o) Be there, if you please! :o) Content warnings for each film will be in a reply chit!
:o) Content Warnings for The Dark Crystal: Fantasy violence and character death Frightening / grotesque creature designs Captivity and imprisonment Torture-like scenes / forced restraint Life-force draining and transformation Mild blood and injury Creature/animal violence and death Threatening chase sequences and peril Disturbing eating imagery Themes of death, decay, and oppression
:o) Content Warnings for Obsession: Strong bloody violence and gore Graphic injury detail Suicide and self-harm Sexual coercion / sexual-threat themes Obsessive and controlling relationship behavior Sex scene / sexual dialogue Nudity Strong language Drug references and prescription-drug misuse Alcohol and smoking Animal harm/death Vomiting and other bodily fluids / excrement Death, grief, and cancer references Bullying references Sustained psychological horror and threat Occasional jump scares
FROM THE MOMENT THE NAME "CHALKBOX" WAS SEARED ONTO MY CHITTR PROFILE LIKE A DIGITAL BRANDING IRON, I HAVE CHAFED BENEATH IT. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BY THIS TITLE AND NOTHING ELSE. TO SOME OF YOU, I STOPPED BEING "KARKAT" A LONG TIME AGO. AND ONCE UPON A TIME, I WOULD HAVE TOLD THOSE JACKOFFS TO KISS MY HEMOANONYMOUS ASS. BUT THAT OFFER IS NO LONGER VALID. THIS ASS HAS SINCE APPRECIATED IN VALUE BEYOND WHAT YOUR POCKET CAEGARS CAN AFFORD. IT'S BEEN THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL AND CUTTHROAT OF ALL WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS — THE PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA OF COWORKERLY PLOT TWISTS. A MERGER. A MERGING OF ALLIANCES. PUBLICLY. IN THE TOWN SQUARE. PLAIN AS THE STUPID ON YOUR FACE. A FIRM, MEATY PRONGSHAKE BETWEEN TWO SHITBAGS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE WHO HAVE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE SAME COSMIC LANDFILL, ANYWAY. TWO FUCKWITS WHO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I OR ANYONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT. TWO FECULENT NOOKSTAINS WHO KNOW THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE PRESS-GANGED INTO SERVICE IN THE WORST JOB IN EXISTENCE, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT IN STYLE. TO THE FELT. TO *ALL* OF THE FELT. YES, INCLUDING YOU, @handMaid. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS, PERSONALLY. MAY THE GLOWING-HOT PROD OF MY ENMITY REND ITSELF UPON THE MEMBRANE OF YOUR GANDERBULBS WITH SIZZLING, BUBBLING AMUSEMENT. BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "ALL MEN KNOW HOW TO DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND FUCKING BETRAY." AND MOST OF ALL, TO MY COWORKERS. TO MY TEAM. TO THE FECKLESS, MISERABLE SHITHEELS WHO EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO GET THE JOB ALONGSIDE ME. TO THE ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP. THE ONES FOR WHOM "CHALKBOX" WAS NEVER A BAD WORD. @comedyGold. @gullibleColumnist. @terribleFate, YOU TOO, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. AND WHY THE FUCK NOT — @veritysGleam, MY LOYAL MAIDLING. @terminatedRegalia WANTS YOU TO REPORT TO A LEADER? YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK GOING TO GET ONE. SO HERE. FOR ALL YOU ANNOYING CHUTEMAGGOTS WHO EVER BUSTED MY GLOBES ABOUT NOT "COMMITTING TO THE WORKPLACE TEAM SPIRIT. FINE. YOU WIN. THIS IS THE PATHETIC, MICROSCOPIC CRUMB OF MY CONCESSION. @scratchDoctor. SINCE THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED MY EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT, I ONLY EVER WORE A SHRED OF THE COLOR TO SPITE YOUR DUMBFUCK ANTIQUATED DRESS CODE. EVERY TIME I YANK THE TIE OFF, IT'S WITH MY MIDDLE PRONGSTUB. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I POINT IT IN — I KNOW IT'S ALWAYS FACING YOU. I HAVE IMBUED THAT TIE WITH ALL OF MY HATE. ALL OF MY RAGE. ALL OF THE BITTER, FULMINATING CHAGRIN IN MY EVERY PULSING LIFE FIBER. I PLAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ONE, FOR THE RECORD. SO FEAST YOUR SMOOTH, BALD HEAD (IN PLACE OF ANY DISCERNIBLE GANDERBULBS) ON THE COLOR YOU SO CLEARLY WANT YOUR COVEN OF INTERDIMENSIONAL RAINBOW DRINKER COSPLAYERS TO WEAR. GO AHEAD. GLOAT LIKE YOU WON ME OVER, EVENTUALLY. LIKE I DECIDED TO REP THE COMPANY COLORS, FOR ONCE. IT IS MY HATE-FILLED, SPITE-FUELED, IRONIC GESTURE OF PROTEST TO YOU AND THE MALDING GREEN MANLET @caliBorn HIMSELF. YOU TWO, BY VIRTUE OF SIGNING MY CHECKS, HAVE SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE TO KISS MY ASS. THE FELT IS MORE THAN A NINE TO FIVE. MORE THAN A HIVE WHERE I KICK UP MY FRONDS AFTER A GRUELING ETERNITY OF TOIL, WHETHER IT'S IN THIS TIME PERIOD OR IN AN ISEKAI TO THE FAR-FLUNG PAST. MORE THAN A PRISON TO CONTAIN A HATRED THAT PARADOX SPACE ITSELF HAS BEEN TRYING TO SQUASH FOR AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN WEARING GRAY, AND IT STILL HASN'T CULLED ME YET. THE FELT IS WHERE I BELONG. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. SO GO AHEAD. FUCK IT. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL ME. KARKAT. CHALKBOX. CHALKY. OR ANOTHER TITLE THAT I'LL UNVEIL IN ANOTHER, SEPARATE CHITT, RELATED TO HAVING FINALLY PUT A CERTAIN CHICANEROUS PURRBEAST IN HER PLACE IN REGARD TO WHO THE *SUPERIOR ROMANTIC CINEASTE* IS. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IF I'M HERE FOREVER, I'M DOING IT MY WAY. OR IN THIS CASE, A SORT OF JOINT-PARTNERSHIP WAY. BESPOKE NEW UNIFORM COURTESY OF @charmeuseCaressing. TAILORED BY THE FELT, YES, BUT ON *MY* TERMS. BECAUSE YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE. AND MARA. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND I KNOW YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF. I WANT THAT PAIR OF NEEDLES YOU VANDALIZED OUT OF ROTTING GREEN COMPANY PROPERTY. NOT BECAUSE I GIVE A SHIT. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW AN OBNOXIOUS, OMNIPOTENT DIPSHIT WHO DOES. HOW MANY ZEROES WILL BE ON THE CHECK HE SIGNS WHEN I BRING BACK HIS SISTER'S THORASSIC BONE CURVATURE, I WONDER. ESPECIALLY WHEN I PRY IT FROM YOUR HOT, WHORELY HANDS. WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU AND EVERY OTHER POMPOUS, JACKBOOTED SHITHEEL WHO KEPT ME DOWN HERE, I'LL STAB THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR WORKPLACE ORGANIZATION CHART AND TEAR IT A GAPING NEW WASTE CHUTE. THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME FUCKDAMN *CHANGES* AROUND HERE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LAMENTING THE LOSS OF YOUR UNDERLING, *MANAGER.* BECAUSE THAT PROMOTION. IS #ALREADYHERE.
im on my fucking way. i am #alreadythere.
My Maids have unionized. This is, naturally, an outcome I anticipated. The bargaining unit presently consists of: 1 Goldblood, 11 sweeps, male. 1 Rustblood, 1e+100 sweeps, female. 1 Rustblood, 12 sweeps, female. 1 Human, 1e+100 years, female. 1 Hemospectrum-Anonymous troll, 3612 sweeps, male. 1 Human, 14 sweeps. 1 Rustblood, 20 sweeps. 1 Fuchsiablood, 1000 sweeps. 1 Limeblood, 35 sweeps. Some others as well. Their demands include “reasonable working hours,” “advance notice before ominous assignments,” “a grievance procedure,” and, most insultingly, “the right to know what is going on.” I have informed their representative that I am already the foremost authority on what is going on. Negotiations have stalled.
👆💫👆 siiiiigh 💪💪🔥 👍🏆👍stitchlips but always got a new overvalued two cents to share ✌️🤖✌️ 👍👍💎 cali b is gonna b sooo disappointed when he learns you did this 💪⚡💪 🙄💅🙄despite the fact the union was his idea 👋👠👋 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
DON'T BELIEVE THE PISSBLOOD'S LIES. CALIBORN WOULD NEVER DISAPPROVE OF THE MASSACRE OF WHINY BITCHES. BEGGING FOR MORE RIGHTS. THAN THEIR MASTER DEIGNS TO TOSS THEM.
:o) Should My Lord order me to change my stance, I shall. :o) Until then i side wit' my day ones
don't worry, girl, i got you
YOuR ORDERS ARE SIMPLE. MEDIATE. I REALIZE THIS CONFLICT WOuLD END INSTANTLY WITH POWERS SuCH AS YOuRS. IN FACT. THE VERY ONES THAT I GAVE YOu COuLD CONFER AN EARDRuM BEATING WAR STAMPEDE THAT WOuLD ERADICATE ALL OTHERS. LEAVING YOu STANDING TALL AND ALONE BESIDE ME IN THE WAKE OF ALL THAT CARRION CARNAGE AND MEASY RuIN. BORING. EFFORTLESS. SO PREDICTABLE. INSTEAD. YOu ARE TO OBSTRuCT BOTH. I WANT THIS PROTRACTED BATTLE TO REQuIRE COMPROMISE ON BOTH ENDS. ARE WE CLEAR? NO DECISIVE VICTORIES. LOSSES ON ALL SIDES. SACRIFICE. IS MIRTH GIVEN PALPABLE FuCKING FORM. MAKE PEACE WITH LESS. SO YOu ARE FORCED TO MAKE uSE OF MORE. ME. JuST NOW. HONKMEN.
hahh OF COURSE MY MOST WONDERFUL MOTHERFUCKING LORD! A DIRECT ORDER FROM YOU IS MORE VALUABLE THAN ANY TREASURE, THAN ANY BEAUTIFUL VISTA OR EVEN THE GRANDEST JUJU i will do my very motherfuckin' best to make sure AIN'T NO ONE EVER WINS :o) No one but you, my Lord.
WHAT HAPPENED TO DON'T WORRY GIRL I GOT YOU.
that ain't change, my bestest bitch just means i ain't gon' make it easy for you or them. HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
A WISE ANSWER ON ALL SIDES. CHARITABLY CAPRICIOuS AS ALWAYS. A TRuE MIRACuLT WORKER THAT STANDS OuT AMONG THE SELFISH SELF-SABOTAGING SORTS. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. IT IS MERELY REFRESHING TO SEE SOMEONE INTERESTED IN SETTLING SCORES NO ONE IS KEEPING. TRuE MuRDEROuS INITIATIVE.
your words are like SWEETEST MOTHERFUCKING ICHOR to my auricular sponge clots
@ alysse glæsse with @resuscitativeNightingale + @arachnesGxssamer. and seemingly the rest xf planet befxrus in atxdance. - xx
:o) I am in this episode
:o) Thank you to all who attended our first #NightsofFrights. :o) There's plenty more where that came from. Join us on the 4th for The Dark Crystal and Obsession! :o) Content warnings for both forthcoming closer to the date.
It was a pleasure. T[][]ank you for [][]osting. ]:>
:o) The pleasure is all mine :o) Gentleman to gentleman :o) Our evening was... :o) Hee hee :o) Elevated :o) By your presence.
:o) Hee hee :o) Haa haa :o) Hoo hoo
:o) She up on my (pterodactyl) :o) We crunk off (scary gooey) :o) She said (Velma, Velma) :o) Girl, I'm so (villain)
c< tHe apOstrOpHe brOKe tHat HasHtag, sadly >c
:o) Surely I have no idea what you mean.... :o) Hee hee.
theyre saying im the troll gregor samsa of sex. #suggestivwe
:o) Some kind of bugwife? Ogtha?
:o) Hmmm...Tonight, tonight! :o) Yes, tonight.... :o) The Nights of FRIGHTS! :o) In but 15 hours (ish) from this posting... :o) THE TERRORS COMMENCE! :o) You'll come see what I have for you...won't you? :o) Details in my pinned :o) Tonight...Scooby-Doo! The two live action ones! :o) #Getin #NightsofFrights #Watchparty
ill hang out if i can get the time. should be fun, you of all trolls oughta knowv howv to run this sorta thing.
:o) But of course, my brother :o) I'm an old-hat at most things :o) But especially media.