R.L.
@tempestousTheophany
Goddess, visionary and esteemed writer. My cat can vouch for all three.
nah but like for serious i think yall need to stop puttin pressure on yourselves to get things right in one go aint the end of the world to fumble a baddie theres gonna be another one
And open yourself to burning humiliation spurned by rejection? Not that I have any experience with that, but I can understand the cowardly approach.
Newfound discovery: napping with partners amplifies the experience. #LifeHack
You snore like a cat.
You purr like one.
Small pause to grab some nutrition.
Excuse my appetite.
Have the Felt considered unionization?
Overrated
Typical management denial.
ATTENTION WORMS. MY SECONDARY FELT IS IN NEED OF A MEMBER IN ITS EIGHT SPOT. BEING SUCH A GRACIOUS LORD, I AM OFFERING ONE OF YOU WRETCHES THE OPPORTUNITY TO FILL IT. PRE-REQUISITES: - NOT TOO IMPUDENT. - NOT TOO UNIMPUDENT. - DEADLY AND WILLING TO KILL, TORTURE, AND MAIM. - LOOK GOOD IN A STARRY GREEN DRESS PERKS - DIRECT COMMUNICATION AND INTERACTION WITH YOUR LORD AND MASTER. - ACCESS TO MY VAST RESOURCES - FREE RANGE TO KILL AND DESTROY CARAPACIAN QUEENS, LARGE BITCHES, CHERUBS, AND THOSE WITH WHITE HAIR ARE ENCOURAGED TO APPLY.
How are your dental benefits?
NO.
Upsetting.
Have some #kittyposting while R.L. argues with her publisher on the phone.
Thank you for acting as a stressball, it helped astronomically. #Suggestive
Taking @tempestousTheophany out after a girls night sipping on some really good stuff.
I can't think of a better companion for whiskey tasting. #Substances
slept like shit dont got time to get back to sleep before i gotta get up and act like a whole adult person capable of making rational fucking decisions bleary eyed like a new born foal the whole rest of the days what this is gonna look like fml
May I interest you in a bitter brew laced with Monster(tm) Energy in these trying times?
im gonna so fuckin fr with you lalonde im more of a red bull kinda guy like if im drinking something with all the same flavor notes as battery acid....
Disappointed would be an understatement, Strider. How much did they pay you for this advert?
2 much yellin over there!!! Sum prople are juist wakin up from their midnightday nap 💤 #Slepins
Always time to return to resting.
piling rn all the pillows and blankets on the floor in a goddamn circle hell yeah
When does it become a proper structure?
well it depends on what structure you want you could go flatways, make it into a pallet of fluff and sprawl out on the floor like its a saturday afternoon hot with summertime sunshine that makes it too hot to sleep in bed or you could nest it, build up the outer boarder until youve got a nice shape to it and it can cradle you like youre some kind of newborn something desperately in need of the early worm hell you could probably go fortways and stack the pillows until you have a fortress any five year old would screech in envy over
Build to the sky, Strider. Towering structures have a certain appeal.
i wish like i could be like r.l i fantasize about being a financial failure and needing an eldritch pump and dump to support my lifestyle but unfortunately anything i touch just prints money literally gave away billions to charity and somehow made a profit wiping my tears with million dollar bills (if you dont know about million dollar bills youre not in a high enough tax bracket)
Unsurprising that you fantasize about me. One day, you too may be chosen by beings beyond your astoundingly simple understanding and enact their will for a great purpose. Probably not, but that shouldn't stop you from hoping for a meaningful life that has more than cocaine and hookers. #Substances #Sex-work #LifeLessons
first off my life has more than cocaine theres a wide variety of drugs that keep my pathetic mortal coil entertain tyvm & gfys second off if you think i need to pay for sex you really underestimate my tax bracket turns out once you make ludicris amounts of money people start giving you a lot of stuff for free including sex
Entertained is not the same as fulfilled, Strider. Destiny will come for you, eventually. Just don't mistake its calling for one of your psychedelic trips. #Substances #Drugs
making burgers for me and my family right now!!!! goin great in my opinion! i got all the seasoning slapped on there
May no harm ever come upon you and your kin.
the interns are demanding we extend their internship or theyll execute an accountant every hour
The Burger King employees are faring much better.
ofc they make 80k a year w/ full benefits those people would take a bullet before working in the office
How did you ever profit from this business, there are five people who frequent this location.
shrug im cursed lalonde no matter what i do everything i touch becomes a massive success and prints money despite all logic saying it shouldnt really suffering over here
Heavy is the crown. May your interns not remove it, head and all. Guillotines are back in fashion, I fear.
Reconsidering my first photograph on this account bearing my green thumb and not my breasts. Missed opportunity. #Suggestive #Nsfw
It's a good a time as any to amend.
Tempting but a devil sullied these waters. An ill omen.
Shall I send you a quick DIY exorcism kit?
It will need to be potent. Website-wide. Do you have something of that magnitude?
A bottle of my finest single-malt.
Bring it and I'll find the camera.