♥ liked by @theGuy
Get ready liver daddy got yelled at in proximity voice chat today. #substance
Happy #thighhighthursday to all my thigh-high wearers out there!
I bring a lipgloss on the blunt kind of vibe that seem to really piss off a lot of these macho male types. #substance
How you handle a godzilla invasion says a lot about you as a person. Personally id try to befriend him. Big lonely fellow, probably just misunderstood and could use a pal.
▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of Doritos.
Does anyone else brush their teeth in the shower purely so they can get a little sloppy with it or is that just me. No rules no toothpaste dribbling down the chin shame. Just pure unadulterated freedom.
For the record im not a homewrecker. If a someone is coming to ME with complaints about their current arrangement and i hear them out thats just plain good customer service. I simply take walk in appointments.
I did not survive a childhood of penpal drama just to become the spark that starts a family war. Work it out between yourselves or the prize goes unclaimed. Im not choosing sides and im certainly not being the reason holidays get awkward.
You're welcome.
Okay. Im trying this one more time. Perhaps my bosom is just too powerful for this site. #suggestive
1 5upp053 y0u h4v3 4 v3ry v4l1d p01n7, 1 5h0uld y34h.
1 4m n07 4c7u4lly 7h47 p4r71cul4r. 4ll 455 15 900d 455 1 7h1nk.
hi im mr penis i have awaken
I second booting every last uppity strider variant off this site. Except for the daves of course. Theyre wonderful and they can stay.
If i were a dog i would bite you so that youd be the last thing id ever taste before they put me down. #violence
You make a solid point, I can't even argue with this. Fuck.
tHaT AlL It tOoK? hOnK HoNk hUmAnS So fUcKiN WeIrD MaN. tRyIn tO SlIdE AlReAdY, i'lL Dm yA (o:
cOmE On mAn, FoLkS TaLkIn bOuT WaNtIn tO GeT ThEy pAiL On wItH WoOdEn pUpPeTs, BrOtHeR. fUlL On bUlGe bEtWeEn tHe lOgS ShIt. DoN'T ThInK YeR BrO GoN SeE NoThIn wOrSe n tHaT (o: MaYbE OuR FrEaKs mAtCh, WhO FuCkIn kNoWs
12'5, How's The View From Down There Darlings? –xoxo
Every9ne needs t9 get sluttier n9w
Im 6'9" and three quarters.
No dear im not "gaslighting" you. Im lying. Gaslighting implies a level of effort that im most certainly not putting in.
" fuck off "
၄⋆၃ "nah"
hi im mrs titties just a reminder everyone can have titties, grow your own if you want
Relatable.
:33 < n33d that
Im still recovering.
call me a groupie the way i chase these bands
An awful lot of you seem to be awake at what i assume are deep twilight hours. Some advice: i find thats nothing sweet mary jane and polishing the rocket face down into the mattress cant usually fix.
go crazy, go stupid, do something you wouldnt normally do and have fun.
I'm only a Dave when it works for the bit. B)
on it boss https://youtu.be/qwuwgfu4lyc
Date idea: you watch me drink 4 martinis and tell me how beautiful i am while i chunder in your neighbours flowerpot.
Additionally a gent is never all 3: 1. funny 2. handsome 3. able to form healthy attachments without referencing their tumultuous relationship with their guardian and how its damaged their ability to perform in the sack
Money. Mouth. You can read right?
"Thats a girls gun" and i say let a women indulge in her primal desires for carnage and bloodshed. I bet her hello kitty ak-furrty7 has a higher body count than you anyhow.
GṴN: PROBABLY NAME IT SOMETHING COOL LIKE ‘SALSA VERDE’
pull the trigger
Beaumont-adams!
so_they_apparently_made_weed_into_a_soda_and_it_is_pretty_good_#substances
A follow for me is a follow for good faith cinema, where art is free to express itself and not controlled by committee
so basically karkat kept getting his ass kicked because he's so bad at uno
you're "subbing" to wwwwatch a girl "streammmm" and "twwwwitch"? 🤨 i've heard enough.
Fear not. I am not going to die any time soon.
A member of my Cabinet just walked by and stabbed me. Never let them know your next move, I guess.
There's never been a more honest man than I. Thank you, bro.
I'd like this to let you know there's no hard feelings about your mixup, but I'm true to my word.
Project Hail Mary is smart blond man propaganda. Do not fall for it.
The feed all of a sudden.
cold as fuck but ill take it
I had a near-perfect vision of one of the Daves, specifically, questioning my ruling on that series in particular.
Will be sure to hate all your posts from now on. Just out of spite. Consider it revenge for the poor choice of drink.
(=^･⩊･^=) < JUST HIT MY DABPEN AND I'M FURRCKING CRYING MY EYES OUR AND COUGHING MY NONEXISTENT LUNGS OUT... HAHA, THIS IS THE BEST! #SUBSTANCE
every night i look in the mirror i reintroduce myself ’cause i try to recreate myself to make myself a better person than i was yesterday ’cause al_ the opps be living in yesterday #truth
Most people hunt for the 8ag; I let the money fund the evolution of my identity. I don't make money, money makes me.
WOW, AND HE EVEN LISTENS THE FIRST TIME. IMPRESSIVE.
Liked this by accident. I need to make that known.
haha!!! get fucking owned karkat. that is really funny.
₍^. .^₎⟆ You know what would f!x me? A fresh face full of fat man t!tt!es. But apparently thosSse are !n h!gh demand r!ght now and ! have to ssshare…꠹
i was just reminded of dane cooks ugly smug grin
PUSH3RW4RM1NG: BL 4RT1ST DR4WS WOM3N K1SS1NG 4ND L34RNS TH3Y C4N DO TH4T TOO
Some variant of my bro referring to himself as a dilf in my replies after having the audacity to claim that he's "parenting" me by subjecting me to sugar free Sprite. Genuinely so awestricken by this interaction that I feel this deserves its own post.
EXCELLENT.
Haha, well I've raised 4 kids, and I've made plenty of mistakes. I was absolutely not a perfect parent, but everything makes a difference in the early years.
That's adorable, actually. I'll take him.
prong on pusher for a second I thought you were giving troll8ama up for adoption
Not all of the general public reads your posts, the fame might be getting to your head. Surprise me. I trust your judgement, and I'm also desperate enough to consume just about anything at the moment.
Oh thΔt sOմnds d𝓮liciOմs, i lOv𝓮 winghΔlt. i might n𝓮𝓮d tO g𝓮t sOm𝓮 clմckb𝓮Δst fOr lմnch, nOw.
ʚ( What A Descripti♡n... ❤︎h, My. )ɞ
REAL!
I wont! Thanks!
Just heard an intern yell "IF YOU'RE ALWAYS FRIED AND EASY TO CRACK, YOU'RE JUST AN EGG!" No idea what that argument is about, but clearly I need to mind my own business immediately.
I don't do social media often. This chittr stuff is easy.
why is it always oh cats good dogs bad dogs good cats bad. cant we get along? this cannot be that unique an opinion!
Wow! #received #returningbunpissued #expectinseveralseconds #youresocool #ajfanclub
Yes! #juniorisjunior #nicetobeepyou
ʚ( ❤︎♡h!! ❤︎kay, I'll See If Er♡sen Can Access Any!!! )ɞ
\ YA >< WN /
GOOD MORNING! :^)
I DO HAVE MOMENTS WHERE I THINK OF HOW MUCH I'VE CHANGED OVER THE YEARS, AND IT TYPICALLY MAKES ME FEEL RATHER EUPHORIC. I KNOW AT SOME POINT, I THOUGHT I'D NEVER GET THIS FAR. T HAS DONE WONDERS FOR ME. :^)
gay gay homosexual gay
ʚ( W♡w... Y♡u're That Tall? H♡w Admirable!! <3 )ɞ
OH IT’S THERE. SOUS-VIDE IN A GODDAMN WATER BATH.
low hanging fruit i was going for more nope vibes when jean jacket digests the townspeople
WELL. WHEN YOU NEED SOME FRESH STUFF, I HAVE IT. I NEVER SEEM TO RUN OUT AT THIS RATE. SHIT-WADING ASIDE.
i think the open composition is the beauty of it though like tilt your head think like a hotdog
YEAH, THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE TO ME COMING FROM YOU OR ANY OF THE OTHER DAVES FOR THAT MATTER. YOU WASTE CHUTE RINSERS CAN'T KEEP YOUR LASCIVIOUS PRONGS OUT OF IT. IT’S LIKE YOUR CUP OF SCALDING BEAN LIQUID IN THE MORNING THAT WAKES YOU UP AND GETS YOU READY FOR THE DAY. DO YOU LIKE A GOOD GOSSIP, D?
4H4H4H4H4. 7h47 4nd 7h3 8r34d, qu4l17y m34l.
holy shit he actually made it his banner everyone go look at my masterpiece at @theguy i have to say it really moves me like did the seagull choke in the end or will he prevail whos to say
YOU WOULD *LOVE* TO SEE MY DMS. I THINK YOU’D FIND IT INCREDIBLY ENTERTAINING IF YOUR IDEA OF FUN IS WADING THROUGH PILES OF SHIT.
H4m & ch3353 70r73ll1n1 w17h cr34my c4r80n4r4 54uc3.
ESPECIALLY IN A SPECIAL INTERNET PLACE WHERE THE GENERAL POPULATION’S BRITTLE CALCIUM BASED SKULLS POSSESS LITTLE TO NO SPONGE MATTER. AND THAT’S ONLY TALKING ABOUT THEM.
Sometimes I'll make a post talking about the people arguing in my comments only to get a new set of people arguing in the new post. It is an experience.
THE USERS OF CHITTR DOT ING ARE SOME OF THE HORNIEST, LOWLIFE TACTLESS DOUCHEBAGS WHO HAVE BEING STUPID DOWN TO A SCIENCE. AND BEING STUPID WITH EACH OTHER, ON SOMEONE ELSE’S POST. IT HAPPENS A LOT TO ME. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY WHEN GRUBFISTED HAMBEASTS CLOUD THE ALREADY MAYBE SLIGHTLY MURKY WATERS OF A PUPPET POST.
Sometimes, I just watch it unfold.
( World is soo beaotiful 😍... saw a quackbeast feed a little fish to another quackbeast once... resplendent... )<
mine stand at the end of my bed in the dark and already know how to climb on each other to reach shelves
HA, sure.
Do i really now? Because from where im standing youd need a functioning conscience for that and the jurys been out on yours since roughly 2009. But sure ill bite. Point me to the wound and ill fetch a bandaid. A very small one. For your very small feelings.
I can answer this. It's because of rain runoff. When it rains, it erodes rocks and soil and washes it into rivers, which then end up in the oceans. Another is hydrothermal fluids, which come from vents on the ocean floor. Water seeps in, mixes with the magma, and causes a set of chemical reactions Another one is a salt dome that is built up over many, many years.
luckily mine are only 4 so i get the simple shit like why the letter w starts with a d and being told i had a rough childhood for my choice in cartoons
You're right...
It's exactly that because you never know. Just in case.
It's 5:22 a.m., and Dirk wants to make beatboxing puppy a philosophical dilemma.
Im afraid youre preaching to the wrong choir there amigo. This site appears to be the birthplace of smuppets-and-their-freak-owners.
You deserved those ants on a log, if you were wrong then i don't want to be right!
And the horrors off tommow, and the next day and the next and so on.
I just remembered ants on a log exist. Thanks for that.
I'm probably going to get wasted and pass out as I always do.
Oh no is this the strilond mental illness hour!?
Everyoone coopes in their oown way but maybe soome oof yoou shoould develoop a habit oof drawing self-insert yaooi like i did instead oof whatever yoou're dooing
do any other daves have extremely poor concept of time i left at 2:45pm but dojt have work until 4pm ive been sitting in the parking lot for 40 minutes
Stop giving me responsibility! I have big tits!!!
Youre right. Thank you coveted director aj strider.
That’s why I would never order “the usual.” That’s too brutal.
are you offended i find the texture of a hotdog appealing
texture we are out here boots on the ground asking real journalistic biznasty questions i gotta say