D. "AJ" Strides
@theGuy
director. visionary. former baby. made 11 films u pretended to like at parties dm's open for business inquiries only. no i will not look at ur screenplay.
im gonna turn that himbos shit inside out. #nsfw #moveasidedirk #letmeshowyouwhereyourmovescamefrom
alright alright. its not a zero-sum game you know. you and i can both score.
I can't "score". I'm a ghost, idiot. Kinda hard to do much more than pretend, or at the very least be talked to like a Princess.
take it up with the big g. i know a ghost who still gets his rocks off every other week apparently. maybe ask him about it. but hey i get it. who doesnt want to be talked to like a princess? you can slap my ass and call me belle the way i want a beast in my life.
They're a different kind of ghost, my dude. I'm not in the dreambubbles.
yall need to stop giving your ass up for these smuppetfuckers. theyre smuppetfuckers. have some fucking standards. #nsfw
like yall really out here fucking the guy who fucks his couch cushions. wild. #nsfw
okay so that probably narrows it down to a quarter of this site but still. hardly slim pickings.
depends on your definition of a nice ass tbh. like whatre we talking about here. grand canyons or will a peach suffice.
fucking loud rechitt on that brother. but yeah in which case even i fucking qualify at this point with my lil flatties. just open your eyes heart and legs and youd be surprised who ends up on your lap.
just found out what a troll nook is. my pr team just collectively stood up from their desks. i can hear them from here. think one of them took my car keys as a precaution. only use that shit for lines anyway. nothings gonna stop me from bagging a baddie. #substance #suggestive #dirkydontlook #daddysgonnagogetsometrussy
YOU JUST FOUND OUT. LIKE WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOUR WIPE. AND YOU’RE… HOW MANY SWEEPS OLD?
OK, TIME OUT FOR THE IDIOT. I ASSUME IN SOME CAPACITY YOU’VE HAD EXPOSURE IN EVEN SOME MINUSCULE AMOUNT TO TROLL CULTURE. IF YOU HAVEN’T, I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU’RE EVEN ON CHITTR, BUT, OKAY. A SWEEP IS A MEASURE OF TIME. LIKE A HUMAN YEAR. THREE ISH YEARS IS ONE SWEEP. SO, I’M 12 SWEEPS OLD. OR 26 HUMAN YEARS ABOUT. SO JUDGING BY YOUR RESPONSE, YOU’RE EASILY… SIX FUCKING SWEEPS OLD.
not my circus not my monkeys but deffos know summa the clowns.
im whatever height your mom likes best.
whats a professional way to tell my agent "cuz i dont feel like it" when she asks why i havent continued the script of sbahj: the sweet helling.
yall wanna buy your partners the latest consoles but when was the last time they CONSOLED you? ps5 years ago. ditch them get with me and ill give you the best of both worlds.
somebody matched my freak n we almost died.
i would but im pretty sure theres iterations of my little brother on this site and i dont want them staring.
cOmE On mAn, FoLkS TaLkIn bOuT WaNtIn tO GeT ThEy pAiL On wItH WoOdEn pUpPeTs, BrOtHeR. fUlL On bUlGe bEtWeEn tHe lOgS ShIt. DoN'T ThInK YeR BrO GoN SeE NoThIn wOrSe n tHaT (o: MaYbE OuR FrEaKs mAtCh, WhO FuCkIn kNoWs
ngl i didnt understand like half of what you said but i respect the come on. kinda pretty certain just from our small interaction that if we did fuck around and find out i would quite literally actually fuckin die.
(O: wHy i lIkE Ya dAvE. )o: Aw mAn m nOt lOoKiN To hUrT Ya, UnLeSs yEr iNtO ThAt. A MoThErFuCkEr cAn bE ReAl gEnTlE, pReFeR TaKeN It aNyWaY BrOtHa. WaNnA MaTcH YeR FrEaK NoT MiNe hOnK HoNk (O:
look bro i know im packing mad heat had plenty good reviews from the dudes and the dudettes but looking at our height difference i feel like youll be fucking a needle in the haystack if i were the needle. not that i would ever disrespect aj junior like that but yknow. this aint even a matter of size anymore its a fucking math equation. if little davey has 8.5 inches and the troll giant has a gazillion miles of ass at what rate should davey book it the fuck out of there. size doesnt matter or whatever until your dick is the size of the guys pinky.
rEvIeWs ... hOnK HoNk hOnKhOnK DiCk lIkE A MoViE HoNkHoNk. BrO ThInK YeR LiKe oVeR ThInKiNg hOw bIg tHe lIkE TrOlL NoOk iS. aIn't mAdE FoR TaKiNg hArD ThInGs. BuLgEs aRe lIkE ReAl fUcKiN SoFt, SqUiRmY, fOr sQuEeZiNg iN PlAcEs. OnLy bEeN WiTh lIkE OnE HuMaN, sHiT WaS A TrIp n yEr lIkE WaY, fUcKiNg bIgGeR N HiM JeGuS YeR WaY TaLlEr n tHoUgHt tOo )O:
shit really? damn okay. pretty sure i should check in with my pr team before i start fucking with literal trolls online but fuck it we ball. so like. wya?
tHaT AlL It tOoK? hOnK HoNk hUmAnS So fUcKiN WeIrD MaN. tRyIn tO SlIdE AlReAdY, i'lL Dm yA (o:
drinking a beer while pumping my gas because smoking would be dangerous #substance #upstadingcitizen #lawabiding
thinking how awkward it mustve been for the guy who discovered milk to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Do you think hand first or mouth first?
oh he was def suckling on them teats like a pig with an apple.
im showing full hole in this mf comments and he talking bout pyramids.
woman to your head name a gun rn
GṴN: PROBABLY NAME IT SOMETHING COOL LIKE ‘SALSA VERDE’
You cant possibly be trying to gender gun violence. If a lassie wants to paint the town red then thats her perogative!
of course i believe the stripper likes me. as a feminist i always believe women. #feminist #istandwithher
im a walgreens 7, a walmart 9, a whole foods 6, a home depot 10, an airport 8 rising to 11 if i take the shades off which i wont, a film festival 7.5 with critics saying the bone structure "shows promise but lacks discipline," and a met gala 4 because next to actual celebrities i am simply the guy who knows where the food is
ha. fuck. yeah. sort of. i guess.
folks will we be witnessing the first of his kind to go into the negatives? stay tuned to find out.
INTENSELY CURIOUS TO KNOW THE SLIDING SCALE, HERE. WHAT CONSTITUTES THE LOCALE PLUS THE GIVEN NUMBER? WHAT IS A WALMART.
like i said. dms open for SERIOUS business inquiries only. send me your screenplay and im doxxing you and giving your location over to the next area 51 raid.
But Strider, how will I ever make my break into the film industry without messaging random indoviduals directly on the least socially relevant social media platform known to man?
first of all this platform is EXTREMELY relevant the horse post moved culture. second of all you are a bestselling novelist. you have an agent. you have an agents agent. youre the one person alive whose screenplay id have to read which is exactly why youre banned from the dms. hollywood rules family cant query family its nepotism if i say yes and thanksgiving ruined if i say no.
How cruel of you. I'm telling our definitely real and definitely alive shared mother what you just said to me. The next family potluck will be 50% less starstudded.
kids acting like cusack invented standing in a driveway with feelings. buddy. we had paul newman. the man could hold a boombox with his EYES. cusack needed equipment. newman just looked at your house and the house apologized.
PAUL NEWMAN? IS YOUR SPONGE ALL CURDLED IN YOUR THINKPAN? OH WAIT. YOURE RAGEBAITING ME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS. BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE PUTTING PAUL GODDAMN NEWMAN ON A PEDESTAL HIGHER THAN CUSACK.
oh you know what youre right i went too far. paul newman isnt above cusack on the pedestal. theres no shared pedestal. newman has his own building. cusack visits sometimes signs the guestbook. newmans eyes are on the currency of a small nation. what nation i hear you ask? wouldnt you like to know.
also im gonna need your top 5 cusacks ranked right now in this thread because anyone this loud about him better have seen more than say anything and high fidelity.
to summarise: punk troll kid gets his bad opinions shat on by superior intellectual.
FIRST OF ALL, SERENDIPITY. BECAUSE DUH. LITERALLY THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND I WON’T HEAR A SINGLE DEBATE ABOUT IT. SECOND, BETTER OFF DEAD. AN OLD CUSACK FILM, NOT VERY GOOD, BUT HE DOES ALRIGHT WITH THE ROLE AND IT’S SURREAL ENOUGH TO GIVE IT A PASS. THIRD, MAP OF THE HUMAN HEART. FOURTH, MONEY FOR NOTHING. AND FIFTH, SIXTEEN CANDLES. THERE.
ok. reviewing. and im gonna be fair because you clearly meant this. 1. SERENDIPITY at number one is the most incredible self report ive ever witnessed. 2. better off dead is legitimately correct and it hurts me to say so. youve got an eye. this makes the rest of the list worse actually because now i know you KNOW better 3. map of the human heart. buddy. cusack is barely IN that. thats like ranking a restaurant by the parking lot. you put a deep cut at 3 to look scholarly and picked one where hes a side dish. 4. and SIXTEEN CANDLES?? hes a background nerd in that. hes furniture with glasses. you ranked furniture in your top 5. thats not a cusack film thats a film cusack just happened to pass by final grade: 2/5. on account of one great pick. assessment result: promising but compromised.
I THINK THE MOST DISAPPOINTING YET UNSURPRISING PART OF YOUR REVIEW OF MY REVIEW IS THE FACT THAT YOU PICKED BETTER OFF DEAD AS YOUR NUMBER ONE. 1/5 FOR *YOUR* POOR TASTE.
AND I HAVE A FULL REVIEW OF BETTER OFF DEAD ALREADY. IN CASE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW A FORMULATED OPINION ON THAT ONE.
he didnt follow me back. chat does this mean im unc.
Do you even know what the means
course i know what that means tf. try to see im not hip with the times? unc means uncool. which he followed me back so i know im not.
up for adoption: precocious lil kid. comes with a puppet. no refunds and no returns.
That's adorable, actually. I'll take him.
next time he hosts a four hour seminar on why my movies are not my own but instead a product of my upbringing and society ill be sure to invite you.
So he was really like this from the get go huh.
i wasnt there but they told me dirk shot out the womb with one finger pointed up to the sky and one pointed at the doctors like mfing plato himself.
I have never been more jealous right now. Fuck.
wingstop on me for anyone who drops me their location. i wont use it for any weirdo sick shit i just figure anyone whos looking to get that itch scratched like yours truly deserves to feel the sharp talons of chicken feet on their back too.
As the poor orphan boy oliver twist once said: please sir can i have some more?