♦ pitied by @theGuy
i never fully trust daves on here who say they’re afraid of puppets. that kid has a crush on the chick from the dark crystal and i know it.
got recommended an asmr of a puppet pretending to be your dad and the exact layers of issues it projects upon me to give me that are insane right it was kind of nice but like fuck dude
Do you think hand first or mouth first?
Got a real headscratcher for you folks tonight. Were the builders of the pyramid allowed to take a whizz over the side or did they have to waltz all the way down to the bottom?
If youre not putting your money where your mouth is flirting to win a fight is a COWARDS move. Either sail me your haymaker or sail me your your kisser but riding the fence six ways to sunday is just lame.
You cant possibly be trying to gender gun violence. If a lassie wants to paint the town red then thats her perogative!
I THINK THE MOST DISAPPOINTING YET UNSURPRISING PART OF YOUR REVIEW OF MY REVIEW IS THE FACT THAT YOU PICKED BETTER OFF DEAD AS YOUR NUMBER ONE. 1/5 FOR *YOUR* POOR TASTE.
FUCK UNO, FUCK DAVE, AND FUCK EVERYONE. HE'S LITERALLY BAD AT THE GAME ALL HE DOES IS FUCK AROUND AND HE WINS? YEAH. NO FUCK THAT. THIS WAS RIGGED. DAVE RIGGED THE GAME SO HE CAN SEE ME FUCKING MAD. THAT BASTARD. AND EVERYTIME I GROWLED HE GOES "WHY ARE YOU WHIMPERING" I'M NOT WHIMPERING YOU DUMBFUCK I'M CLEARLY MAD THAT YOU ARE SCREWING AROUND SAYING OH HEY YEAH, I'LL LEAVE THE COLOR AND THEN HE CHANGES IT LIKE A FUCKING LIAR. FUCK UNO FUCK IT ALL THE WAY TO ITS ASS ALONG WITH DAVE. I WILL ACTUALLY BREAK THIS TABLE WHILE I'M AT IT. I AM NOT MAD. HE KEEPS SAYING I'M MAD. I'LL SHOW YOU MAD WHEN I SHOVE ME STUB UP YOUR DAMN ASS. FUCK EVERYTHING. #suggestive #stfu
hh,eellpp , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
dms open for nobody. replies closed too. in fact interactions are also out of the question. if you even look my way i will be a bit offended. #donotperceiveme #johnfacts
I have never been more jealous right now. Fuck.
But Strider, how will I ever make my break into the film industry without messaging random indoviduals directly on the least socially relevant social media platform known to man?
FIRST OF ALL, SERENDIPITY. BECAUSE DUH. LITERALLY THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND I WON’T HEAR A SINGLE DEBATE ABOUT IT. SECOND, BETTER OFF DEAD. AN OLD CUSACK FILM, NOT VERY GOOD, BUT HE DOES ALRIGHT WITH THE ROLE AND IT’S SURREAL ENOUGH TO GIVE IT A PASS. THIRD, MAP OF THE HUMAN HEART. FOURTH, MONEY FOR NOTHING. AND FIFTH, SIXTEEN CANDLES. THERE.
The Strider got to me, yes. I've heard it's terminal.
I poured a sugar packet into the drink as a carefully crafted revenge plan. The revenge was meant to be the fact that I now can actually enjoy the flavor of my drink and his lesson would have meant nothing to me, but unfortunately, it still fucking sucked.
your boys cultural legacy is the phrase aw biscuits and uncanny resemblance to some shit hotdiggedydemon made i promise you he does not fucking care
SEE????? AND YOU’RE SLANDERING HIS GOOD NAME.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY JOHN CUSACK LOOKS. SHUT THE HELL UP.
haha, see he beat me to it! like karkat said. boom. right there.
UM WRONG BECAUSE I JUST DID IT! “YOUNG AJ STRIDER”. BOOM. RIGHT THERE.
JOHN, SEE YOUR CHITINOUS WINDHOLE SHUT, PERMANENTLY. AND YOU. YOU HAVE BAD TASTE. JOHN CUSACK IN SERENDIPITY WAS A PUSHERTHROB.
I DON’T HAVE A TYPE, BUT IF I DID. MAYBE. IT WOULD BE JOHN CUSACK.
Munching on a corndog courtesy of mr @theGuy really has me thinking how were not too disimilar from our edible cousins. Skin on the outside meat on the inside. Wood stick.
#whatdatmean
Man, shut the FUCK up 8efore I unleash my 8low-dart gun full of a concoction of fentanyl, cocaine, and what ever the fuck, straight at your head! Those last 10 minutes of your life will 8e one HELLUVA trip!!!!!!!! You'll wish that I instead fucked you to tears and into literally wanting to marry me, then put your fucking WRIGGLERS through school, with this curse I put upon you with my magical narcotic nine.
yeah pretty normal
oops.
It's 5:22 a.m., and Dirk wants to make beatboxing puppy a philosophical dilemma.
sometimes i really wanna block the puppet tag but then i remember i'm trying to prove my psychiatrist wrong
THERE IS NOTHING QUITE LIKE A MIGRAINE THAT DOESN'T FOLD TO MEDICATION. WHY YES, I LOVE HOW MY THINK PAN DECIDES TO ATTACK ITSELF WITH THE DRIVING FORCE OF A JACKHAMMER TO THE SKULL FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON!
needed to make a chittr to bitch about my first day on the job as a professional birthday clown. not even an hour into this gig and my brand new clown shoes got pissed on by the birthday boy himself!!!
sensational head lines and they don't even put all the information in the article. fuck man.
somehow ended up on a boat yesterday and turns out ive got an irrational fear of kelp forests
Believe in myself? The very same person who got ne in this situation?
