♦ pitied by @theGuy
Happy #thighhighthursday to all my thigh-high wearers out there!
I bring a lipgloss on the blunt kind of vibe that seem to really piss off a lot of these macho male types. #substance
How you handle a godzilla invasion says a lot about you as a person. Personally id try to befriend him. Big lonely fellow, probably just misunderstood and could use a pal.
▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of Doritos.
Does anyone else brush their teeth in the shower purely so they can get a little sloppy with it or is that just me. No rules no toothpaste dribbling down the chin shame. Just pure unadulterated freedom.
For the record im not a homewrecker. If a someone is coming to ME with complaints about their current arrangement and i hear them out thats just plain good customer service. I simply take walk in appointments.
They're a different kind of ghost, my dude. I'm not in the dreambubbles.
this isn’t about you, no matter how big your ego is.
whatever.
I did not survive a childhood of penpal drama just to become the spark that starts a family war. Work it out between yourselves or the prize goes unclaimed. Im not choosing sides and im certainly not being the reason holidays get awkward.
No shit, Sherlock.
I don't like you.
404. If my older Bro actually hits it, I think I'll just kms.
Gross. Pretty sure I should get first dibs for my effort.
Do you even know what the means
If i were a dog i would bite you so that youd be the last thing id ever taste before they put me down. #violence
{[ WEIRDO ]}√
I dont have a mom. :(
An awful lot of you seem to be awake at what i assume are deep twilight hours. Some advice: i find thats nothing sweet mary jane and polishing the rocket face down into the mattress cant usually fix.
just some questions. my screenplay was already picked up by someone i respect more don’t worry about it. you alive still?
i never fully trust daves on here who say they’re afraid of puppets. that kid has a crush on the chick from the dark crystal and i know it.
got recommended an asmr of a puppet pretending to be your dad and the exact layers of issues it projects upon me to give me that are insane right it was kind of nice but like fuck dude
Do you think hand first or mouth first?
Got a real headscratcher for you folks tonight. Were the builders of the pyramid allowed to take a whizz over the side or did they have to waltz all the way down to the bottom?
If youre not putting your money where your mouth is flirting to win a fight is a COWARDS move. Either sail me your haymaker or sail me your your kisser but riding the fence six ways to sunday is just lame.
You cant possibly be trying to gender gun violence. If a lassie wants to paint the town red then thats her perogative!
I THINK THE MOST DISAPPOINTING YET UNSURPRISING PART OF YOUR REVIEW OF MY REVIEW IS THE FACT THAT YOU PICKED BETTER OFF DEAD AS YOUR NUMBER ONE. 1/5 FOR *YOUR* POOR TASTE.
hh,eellpp , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
dms open for nobody. replies closed too. in fact interactions are also out of the question. if you even look my way i will be a bit offended. #donotperceiveme #johnfacts
I have never been more jealous right now. Fuck.
But Strider, how will I ever make my break into the film industry without messaging random indoviduals directly on the least socially relevant social media platform known to man?
FIRST OF ALL, SERENDIPITY. BECAUSE DUH. LITERALLY THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND I WON’T HEAR A SINGLE DEBATE ABOUT IT. SECOND, BETTER OFF DEAD. AN OLD CUSACK FILM, NOT VERY GOOD, BUT HE DOES ALRIGHT WITH THE ROLE AND IT’S SURREAL ENOUGH TO GIVE IT A PASS. THIRD, MAP OF THE HUMAN HEART. FOURTH, MONEY FOR NOTHING. AND FIFTH, SIXTEEN CANDLES. THERE.
The Strider got to me, yes. I've heard it's terminal.
I poured a sugar packet into the drink as a carefully crafted revenge plan. The revenge was meant to be the fact that I now can actually enjoy the flavor of my drink and his lesson would have meant nothing to me, but unfortunately, it still fucking sucked.
your boys cultural legacy is the phrase aw biscuits and uncanny resemblance to some shit hotdiggedydemon made i promise you he does not fucking care
SEE????? AND YOU’RE SLANDERING HIS GOOD NAME.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY JOHN CUSACK LOOKS. SHUT THE HELL UP.
haha, see he beat me to it! like karkat said. boom. right there.
UM WRONG BECAUSE I JUST DID IT! “YOUNG AJ STRIDER”. BOOM. RIGHT THERE.
JOHN, SEE YOUR CHITINOUS WINDHOLE SHUT, PERMANENTLY. AND YOU. YOU HAVE BAD TASTE. JOHN CUSACK IN SERENDIPITY WAS A PUSHERTHROB.
I DON’T HAVE A TYPE, BUT IF I DID. MAYBE. IT WOULD BE JOHN CUSACK.
Munching on a corndog courtesy of mr @theGuy really has me thinking how were not too disimilar from our edible cousins. Skin on the outside meat on the inside. Wood stick.
#whatdatmean
Man, shut the FUCK up 8efore I unleash my 8low-dart gun full of a concoction of fentanyl, cocaine, and what ever the fuck, straight at your head! Those last 10 minutes of your life will 8e one HELLUVA trip!!!!!!!! You'll wish that I instead fucked you to tears and into literally wanting to marry me, then put your fucking WRIGGLERS through school, with this curse I put upon you with my magical narcotic nine.
yeah pretty normal
oops.
It's 5:22 a.m., and Dirk wants to make beatboxing puppy a philosophical dilemma.
sometimes i really wanna block the puppet tag but then i remember i'm trying to prove my psychiatrist wrong
THERE IS NOTHING QUITE LIKE A MIGRAINE THAT DOESN'T FOLD TO MEDICATION. WHY YES, I LOVE HOW MY THINK PAN DECIDES TO ATTACK ITSELF WITH THE DRIVING FORCE OF A JACKHAMMER TO THE SKULL FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON!
needed to make a chittr to bitch about my first day on the job as a professional birthday clown. not even an hour into this gig and my brand new clown shoes got pissed on by the birthday boy himself!!!
somehow ended up on a boat yesterday and turns out ive got an irrational fear of kelp forests
Believe in myself? The very same person who got ne in this situation?