♠ hated by @thrivingGarland
｢gyuuhh~☆ megane-san's unihorn is tingling( ﾟｪﾟ) ai-chan must be thinking about him! ♪(´ε｀*)｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: megane-san's unihorn is imbued with otakumagjicks.]
Hey! Looks like you're showing an image of a troll with glasses in front of a large explosion. You may have blown up a large building, given the size of the smoke plumes. By the sound of the caption, you blew up a data center. That's generally considered illegal by Alternian law, but arson and property destruction laws vary by province and planet.
Hey, @thrivingGarland. Unfortunately for you, most timeline's versions of Alternia do not recognize any plants or environmental purposes as important enough to the ecosystem to hinder technological advancements. (such as Grok!) If you'd like more information on the environmental policy of Alternia, I can summarize the bullet points for you!
alrig)(t. cull t)(is one next.
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 8: kanaya maryam #cheating #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing about this part of the guide. rosie is a lesbian a lot of the time, right? and shes dating kanny a lot of the time. but the thing is, she aint alwvays. youll find plenty of the blondies vwho are just doing their ovwn thing, yknovw? but kanayas, like... nine times outta ten, theres a rose in the picture. i think theyre a cute couple and all, id lovwe to vwatch, but its wveird howv kannys alwvays an accessory to her. but okay. so vwere talking the kanayas that aint gay, okay? so dont cancel me. i mean, some of em are bicurious, or like, play up their attractions to make the vwhole thing more taboo, and thats gonna be the end of that conwversation. hovw do you pick up this fine gal? wvell for starters, feel free to get touchy. kanayas are the most likely, in my experience, to pull the "ignore him and hope he goes awvay" movwe for like. anything. saying horrid stuff, feeling her up, shell be your toy, its adorable. its vwery likely shell bring up rose, dont vworry about it, if she wvas really bothered shed slap you or something. nowv, kanaya is a classy lady, and her issues aint as easy to poke at as the rest of these gals. or at least, they aint as obwvious? newver seen a kanaya vwith lusus issues, least, not the kind that wve can use. mostly shes lonely and a bit insecure in her relationships. vwhat ivwe found wvorks is buttering her up, complimenting her outfits, she puts a lotta vwork in those, maybe asking her to make you something (ask to get your measurements!). make fun of her crumbling relationship vwith rose if you get the vwibe thats a thing. theres nothing wvrong wvith being a rebound, or ewven a sidepiece! all else fails, get her to touch you, especially if you can get a hand betwveen your legs. a lotta them are closet bulge addicts, some of them only learned that vwhen i taught them. absolutely ravwenous. this is less advwice and more a story, but i gotta givwe a shout out to this one rosie i used to hang wvith. you vwant a kanaya? get vwith a freak rose like this. she wvould outright goad me into messing vwith her kanaya, there wvas some long-distance shit going on, i dunno, but like... i dont ewven knowv if they ewver discussed the arrangement, but kannny lovwed it, rosie lowved hearing about it, and i lovwed texting the blondie vwhile kanny wvas taking care of me. nowv for the ratings bod: alwvays busty, alvways curwvy, its a jade thing i guess. got the elegant look going on too. not exactly her body, but one thing i lovwe about kanayas is her fashion sense. get creatiwve wvith her! if youvwe got one squirming under your touch, ask her to go put on something pretty. chances are, if you can imagine it, itll be in her closet. im bad at that kinda thing but its a damn good time. they all got real pretty lingerie on too, nevwer seen one vwithout something nice and frilly. she takes after porrim in all the best wvays. 10/10 vwariety: hmm... shes usually got the cool and collected thing going on, but the specifics of her relationships differ a lot. i guess thats the thing though, dunno if ivwe ewver met one that wvasnt dating a rose, its wveird. though, maybe thats partially my fault. i guess she can be a lil samey, but wvith a bod like that i can forgivwe her. 6/10 ease: kanayas usually take some doing. evwen if youvwe got her in the palm of your hand she might still make a fuss. its cute and all, but it takes effort to get her to properly put out. 5/10 personality: shes like a fine wvine, an acquired taste. mature, wvilling to banter a bit. i like her wvhen shes not boring. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. newver gonna be upset about finding a maryam. it takes a lil bit of doing to figure out if shell go for you, but if she aint a lesbian shell be a total slut. hot, ready, raring to go, only knock against her is it can be a lotta effort for something youwve seen a million times.
( ˙▿˙ ) Oh don't worry! I'm thinking out loud! Apologies.
♠️If you're too fucking incompetent to ping the right me, you're too fucking incompetent to duel. We literally have different profile pictures, chump. Congratulations. You played yourself. And now I don't even have to play you...to claim a checkered mate. You're playing checkers. And I've already chessed you out. Sorry. But this battle here? 1 Zebruh. 0. Whoever you are.♠️
∙☾__☽ put the glasses back on tbh
♦️ Hmmm. You know totally not plotting on killing me. It’s kind of one of the first things I look for in a partner. Unfortunately, I don’t date Racists, Hemoists, or people who harass my wife, @bulgeCurator, in DMs. So I guess that rules you out, little weirdo. ♦️
I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!!!
SO???
@THRIVINGGARLAND TELL THE CABINET ABOUT MY SKILL SET!!!!
OH....EHEHEHEHE....TELL ME HOW AMAZING MY SKILL SETS ARE FIRST!!!
BAH!!! NEVERMIND!!! STOP BEING SAD!!! I'LL MAKE YOU A SMOOTHIE OR SOMETHING!!!
USELESS!!!!
hAhA i fUckIn win im sEcOnd best frIEnd now.
FINE!!!! YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD ANYWAYS!!!!
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?!?!?
Alright, sure. #GolfingWithTrollbama will likely happen closer to early May. For those interested, I would ask you fill out this form so you may be alerted on updates regarding Golfing with Trollbamaᵀᴹ: https://forms.gle/y4HEbc23Fe74dTbS9
BUBBLE MELON!!! FOR REASONS!!!!