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Dirk Egbert

@tyrtaeusTableside

im dirk egbert im literally not that guy I found this website on google.

Blood: AnonymousKult Score: 103Kull Score: 4143 followers1 following

right so ive seen the guy enough times conclusion drawn thats literally not me its just straight up not. you might as well be showing me john doe the only thing we have in common is having the same first name we dont look alike we dont talk alike we dont have any of the same interests i hate horses im fucking alergic to them so if you would kindly fuck off. idk if its lost on you all but just for the record two people can be named john smith and be completely different people. you would not look at john smith from kansas and john smith from washington state on a dropdown menu of profiles and assume theyre the same person or related anywhere else and im not gonna doxx myself online to prove it so youre just going to have to take my word for it. im not a version of your friend and from now on if people keep talking to me like im him or just too stupid to listen i will block you bc thats patronizing and annoying as hell thanks

Kult: +12
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Total: 22
Ratio: 1.20
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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

To be absolutely clear. We have Dirk Strider. We have an Egbert family. And we have numerous alternate universes where people get swapped around like a What If comic. And people *completely* unrelated to our bullshit do not often find this website. It really did seem the most logical assumption to us, and deserved a fair amount of investigation.

Kult: +5
Kull: +2
Total: 7
Ratio: 2.50

yes and we did the logic investigation dance and clearly im not that guy so this is me saying im not that guy and the discussion is done its like no hard feelings but it is gonna get old really fast to keep getting compared to a guy im not

Kult: +2
Total: 2

people who call themselves dirk place react or comment thanks this is for SCIENTIFIC STUDY

Kult: +2
Kull: +2
Total: 4
Ratio: 1.00

okay so let me set the record straight I AM NOT YOUR BRO stop assuming shit about me i do not know you

Kult: +59
Kull: +55
Total: 114
Ratio: 1.07

no its not nonsensical they are flat out wrong show me the profiles show me the people you think are me go ahead do it

link that shit and let me see

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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

https://chittr.ing/profile/timaeusTestified https://chittr.ing/profile/timaeusTestified_2840 https://chittr.ing/profile/timaeusTestified_3372 https://chittr.ing/profile/timaeusTestified_7269 https://chittr.ing/profile/timaeusTestifunked Now, having linked you these examples of what we might presumptuously call the baseline Dirk, I must admit that showing you them directly doesn't really explain the essential meaning of what we're trying to get across. For a convenient metaphor, are you a fan of comic books?

that is literally not me none of those people are me i look nothing like these people i am nothing like these people i have never been into ponies in my entire life i dont wear sunglasses and i dont have a weird thing for swords i work at a gas station and i play palworld and deep rock galactic on the weekends literally the only thing i have in common with this person is my first name

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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

Are you certain you don't look *anything* like these men? Try to look past the shades and the spiky hair and examine the structure of the face; the cheeks, the jaw. What people are trying to tell you - rather bluntly and without tact, in my opinion - is that this website connects you to a fantastical multiverse where you will invariably meet strange duplicates of people you know with the circumstances of their births all swapped around higglety-piggledy.

Kull: +5
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i am completely certain that is not me as much as i am certain that i am not chris hemsworth or micheal b jordan i am not this person

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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

Then it is always possible we are comically mistaken. You simply appear to fall into a pattern we have observed before and doubtless will again, of those we are familiar with cast into a strange new formation in an alternate universe. But coincidences are always possible. By the by, you wouldn't happen to have friends named Jake, Jane, and Roxy, would you? With surnames Harley, Lalonde, and Strider in some order?

no don't know anyone by any of those names. jacob is like one of the most common names in the world so that one doesnt count ive probably met more jacobs than i can count going by any number of nicknames. there were three of them in my graduating class. The only other egberts i know are my parents and my two sisters.

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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

Parents, plural, and two sisters. Yeah, looks like we've got a silly little coincidence on our hands! How droll. Please understand with our day-to-day lives and perspectives, it was not an insane assumption for us.

FINALLY OH MY GOD

my knee jerk reaction is to block everybody who tries to tell me about alternate self versions because its dumb but genuinely what is the psyop bullshit, like tell me the details man. how do i explain to the crazies on here that they do not actually know me

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@turntechVaulthead[TV]

sorry people are actin like they know you. i know the feelin

you cant be one of the people contributing to this problem and then be like i feel you man thats not how this works

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@turntechVaulthead[TV]

im not tryin to act familiar i was just tryin to tell ya not everyone on here is crazy. sorry dawg

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@atemporalKaishakunin[AK]

parallel worlds don't remain parallel forever, but they're still alternate timelines. just because you're a version of my bro doesn't mean you had the same experiences as him (a fact which is immediately obvious from the fact that you're really annoying to interact with). from what i've seen the collective of versions of #mykismesis actively adopt different names to go by instead of all being "jade harley." everyone approaches the "whoops i'm not the only me" problem differently. it's up to you to decide how you want to be seen. to blend in or stand out.

im not a version of anybody this is what im talking about how do you know im a version of your bro literally who is that guy i dont know this guy and i dont know you literally show me the fucking profile dude

im serious show me who the fuck youre talking about

#nsfw okay way is this site actually an rp site for people who like bug porn or am i okay

Kult: +42
Kull: +40
Total: 82
Ratio: 1.05

the bugs are real.

https://youtu.be/WKy6KE70xLY

[+] aw hun. most of this ain't roLepLay

you guys are really dedicated to this psyop man

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@sophicSending[SS]

It is with sorrow that I must inform you that you are not incorrect

ok miss maam i definitely super believe you

[+] you'LL figure it out eventuaLLy. but if you need anythin' expLained, y'know where to find me

no i wont thanks

Kull: +2
Total: 2

Ohio

Kult: +25
Kull: +20
Total: 45
Ratio: 1.25

[+] who?

Nohio

Kult: +2
Total: 2

[+] aLright then

Yohio

Kult: +2
Total: 2

versions of me god okay fine i guess i need to call the bank about identity theft thats great. does that mean this website has malware on it? fuck

Kult: +42
Kull: +40
Total: 82
Ratio: 1.05

sorry, what the fuck?

wait are you the guy or are you you just like the john smith to my john smith

honestly? no fucking clue.

like is this the like assembly of steves

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@telemachusTestified[TT]

Welcome to the world of alternate selves, bitch.

i sure fucking hope not? i've already seen some other dirks here, but not another dirk egbert before.

eww no stop i dont know who you are im just a fucking guy

Kult: +2
Total: 2

i dont need your pity i just want people to stop assuming they know me for some stupid reason

Kult: +2
Total: 2

dude this lady called me by my first name on the internet like she doesnt even know me wtf like i know i put it on my profile but thats weird dude im just some dude why r u mad at me specifically

Kult: +77
Kull: +75
Total: 152
Ratio: 1.03

jeez you dont have to be like that about it it was the way she said it ok

how are people meant to refer to you online then do we just point in your general direction and go yeah that guy over there.

thats perfect actually

dude theres so many that guys we could mean though

ill know ill know trust

was she aggressive 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 or did yew read her as such? 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 yew should remove yewr name 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 if yew dont like it 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 i ᰍrefer vanny 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 to vanesa 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 so thats what i entered 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

i mean she was like something something, dirk it was like being scolded kind of

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@uxorialUmbra[UU]

well, she may be already familiar with a version of yoU! i am, after all, thoUgh he's qUite different.​

uh what no theres no other versions of me thats ridiculous

who do you think i am is somebody impersonating me do i need to call my bank about identity theft like right now

man people are posting the craziest shit on main on here

Kult: +10
Kull: +10
Total: 20
Ratio: 1.00

it gets worse i promise.

ok id care im just here because i thought it would be funny

dude halloween is literally in like 2 weeks where does the time go

Kult: +15
Kull: +15
Total: 30
Ratio: 1.00

:0 OMG you're right! I still don't have a costume figured out!!! oAo

im not dressing up ive got work :(

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@atemporalKaishakunin[AK]

they say time moves faster when you're having a good time. but i've been having a great time and i'm not a time player, so shrug.

this is officially the weirdest corner of the internet ive ever found

Kult: +9
Kull: +10
Total: 19
Ratio: 0.90
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@cheerfulMenagerie[CM]

HAH! this is a TAME night on this site

omg its crazy to see a social media website that doesnt have a stories tiktok thing on it

Kult: +22
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@twofoldGrace[TG]

are u brainrotted

r u mad bro

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@cannibalisticCuisine[CC]

¡ a9ree w¡7h dave here

dude im saying its a positive chill

dude i think i just saw a guy who thinks hes a bee in the comments

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@uxorialUmbra[UU]

oh, love, yoU're going to be very confUsed for a good while.​ yes, i'm afraid there are aliens on this site - and, technically, yoU're one of them!

ok pookie

lol first post what even is this website haha

Kult: +100
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Total: 195
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@atemporalKaishakunin[AK]

people on here are honest to a fault. it's why there are so many kidnappings. they just can't help themselves from liveblogging.

dude what kind of conspiracy theory bullshit are you on

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@atemporalKaishakunin[AK]

none at all. just scroll down a couple hours lmao.

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@determinedSubversion[DS]

No the hell I don't?? I've got a hivemate named Edd, do you know him or something?

are you bees

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@determinedSubversion[DS]

Holy shit you might actually be stupid. Whatever. I'll try to break this down for you. I come from a race of aliens called trolls. We descended from insects instead of apes, so a lot of our lingo is more insectoid in nature. A hive is what we call a house.

holy shit youre insane

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@determinedSubversion[DS]

Look at my profile picture, shithead.

yea it looks like someones edgy eddsworld character they drew

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@determinedSubversion[DS]

If we were in the same timeline I'd beat your ass.