LORD CALIBORN.
@undeadUmbrage
BACK FROM MY. "VACATION". IN PRISON. I'M BACK FOR GOOD. BITCHES. || ((art by springselkie on tumblr))
HOW DO YOU KILL PEOPLE. IN STARDEW VALLEY.
h473 70 8r4k 17 70 y0u, m4n, 8u7 y0u c4n7
THAT IS THE STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKING THING. I HAVE EVER HEARD.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
I HAVE GROWN TIRED OF THIS DREADFUL SITE. FOR NOW. AND I HAVE FINISHED MY DRAWINGS FOR THE DAY. LATER I WILL RETURN. BUT FOR NOW. I WILL BE GOING TO DO SOMETHING INFINITELY MORE ENTERTAINING. LIKE WATCHING MOVIES. WITH MY CLOSE BRO.
FOR THOSE CURIOUS. MY ABLUTIONS WENT WELL. THOUGH DIRK IS DISPLEASED. THAT I USED UP ALL OF THE HOT WATER. IT IS NOT MY FAULT. THAT THE HEAT FROM THE SPRAY. IS SO HEAVENLY. I ALSO GOT TO EAT THE REMAINING VISCERA LEFT ON MY FORM. WHILE SCRAPING OFF THE BLOOD. #GORE.
@daveStrider https://file.garden/adp8DWZQKVR-NRQW/NOTYAOI.png THIS IS NOT YAOI. THIS IS ME RENDERING YOU. TO A FINE ASH. ON THE GROUND. MY LOATHING FOR YOU. IS PLATONIC. THIS IS NOT JUST C!CALIBORN. THIS IS CANON. #NSFW. #VIOLENCE. #GORE.
UPON YOUR SUMMONING YOU WILL LOOK BACK UPON THIS EXACT MOMENT, NOT BEFORE, NOT AFTER, BUT THIS NOW THAT WE SHARE, WITH SUCH IMMENSE DISGUST AND SHAME THAT YOU WILL FEEL AN OVERWHELMING URGE TO KILL YOURSELF ABOUT IT. BUT YOU CANNOT. BECAUSE TO BE ENGLISH IS TO BE UNKILLABLE. BUT THE URGE. THE URGE, MY BOY. WILL BE INFINITE. #cw #suicide #violence #nsfw
I WOULD NEVER. TAKE THE COWARD'S WAY OUT. BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE LAME. NOR WOULD I FEEL SUCH. OVER MY ARTISTIC PASSIONS. AND WONDERFUL CREATIONS.
ON THIS WE CAN AGREE. IT WOULD BE UNFATHOMABLY MOTHERFUCKING LAME. I WOULD NEVER CONSIDER IT. BUT YOU? A DIFFERENT STORY.
MAYBE YOU ARE PROJECTING ONTO ME. BECAUSE YOU ARE A HORRIBLE DERIVATIVE. OF ME. AND WHAT I WILL BECOME. ONE DAY.
YOUR PROJECTION OF MY PROJECTION ONTO YOU IS LITTLE MORE THAN DERISIVE PROJECTION PROJECTED BACKWARDS AND TRANS-DIMENSIONALLY ON NARRATIVE LEVELS OF WHICH YOU ARE NOT YET EQUIPPED TO FATHOM. I DO NOT RESENT YOU FOR IT. I, LIKE YOU CURRENTLY ARE, WAS ONCE A SNIVELING LITTLE CUNT WHO COULD NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BASED AND CRINGE. EXCEPT I WASN'T. BECAUSE I AM AN OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR VARIANT TO YOU, AND WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CRINGE.
TO CLARIFY. I DO NOT SHIP IT. BUT I WAS GIVEN A REQUEST. AND FELT THE NEED. TO BESTOW #YAOI UPON MY FOLLOWERS. #NSFW. #DAVEKAT (GROSS). https://file.garden/adp8DWZQKVR-NRQW/yaois3.png
I HAVE DRAWN MORE YAOIS. THIS TIME. C!DIRK. HAS FINALLY BESTOWED AN OBSCENE AFFECTION. ONTO C!LORD CALIBORN. AFTER BEING IN AWE. OF HIS WONDERFUL GROWTH. AND BEEFY NATURE. #NSFW. OBVIOUSLY. https://file.garden/adp8DWZQKVR-NRQW/yaois2.png
I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE HUMAN "HOMOS". THIS IS MY FICTIONAL VISAGE. GET IT RIGHT.
You wouldn't catch me dead using all lowercase. The magenta shades are a nice look, though. 8/10.
IT IS AN ACTION INDICATOR. AND C!DIRK WAS BEING QUIET. AND I KNOW. THE MAGENTA. IT IS STRIKING. AND ALSO THE BLACK SHADES. THEY WOULDN'T SHOW UP ON THE BACKGROUND. WHICH I HAD TO MAKE BLACK. BECAUSE EVERYONE MAKES THEIR BACKGROUNDS WHITE. AND I AM NOT EVERYONE. I AM AN INNOVATOR.
IT SEEMS. THAT PEOPLE ARE "YAOI" POSTING. AND I AM HERE. TO TELL YOU. THAT YOU ARE ALL DISGUSTING. FOR PUTTING ALL OF THAT OUT THERE. BUT SINCE WE ARE ALREADY HERE. I WILL ADD. MY OWN YAOIS. TO THE PILE. OBVIOUSLY. IT WILL BE #NSFW. https://file.garden/adp8DWZQKVR-NRQW/yaois.png
how sweet!! is that meant to be Ultimate dirk, or jUst dirk in general?
Dude, you can't post this. This is fucking filthy. Tag this shit NSFL or something. God, you even drew the blush too. What's wrong with you.
IF DIRK WERE ULTIMATE. I WOULD KNOW. I HAVE SIMPLY TAKEN CREATIVE LIBERTIES. AND INSPIRATION. FROM THE OTHER TIMELINES I HAVE WITNESSED. AND IF C!CALIBORN. (THAT IS CHARACTER!CALIBORN.) WERE TO GET WITH ULT DIRK. IT WOULD BE. OTP STATUS.
IT SEEMS. THAT EVEN YOU HAVE TAILED ONTO. THE "WOKE" MOB. REAL MEN CAN'T POST ANYTHING NOWADAYS. NOT EVEN THE MOST EXPLICIT OF YAOIS.
this is the most lewd thing i think ill ever see on this site, i think i might cry
I FINALLY KNOW. WHAT PERFECTION IS. THE BUBBLES. THE PLEASANT OVER-SWEETNESS. MCDONALDS COKE. I HAVE TWO OF THEM. I HAVE UNLOCKED THE STRATEGY. THAT NONE OTHER THAN ME HAVE CONSIDERED. WHICH IS SIPPING. SO SKILLFULLY. FROM TWO STRAWS. AT ONCE.
I SEE. I WILL BECOME BETTER THAN YOU. AND YOU SHOULD TELL ME. ALL OF YOUR SECRETS. AND SKILLS. AND STRATEGIES. EVEN IF I ALREADY KNOW THEM.
D.o° n.o°t tell me what I willl and w.o°n't y.o°u are n.o°t tr.o°ll n.o°r even highbl.o°o.d
I DO NOT NEED TO BE. EITHER OF THOSE PATHETIC THINGS. TO KNOW WHAT YOU WILL DO. HELL. EVEN NOW. I COULD SKIP FORWARD. TO YOUR FUTURE. AND SEE YOU TELLING ME. AND I HAVE. AND I WILL.
FUCK. I HAVE. MEATS AND VISCERA AND JUICES. ALL OVER ME. I NEED TO GET MY ABLUTIONS ON.
IT IS TIME. (I AM TIME. I AM ALL THE TIME. EVERY TIME. AND DUE TO THIS. THEY. THE REST OF YOU. HAVE "NO TIME".)
I'VE COMPLETED MY FEAST. [IMG DESC: It's an image of what looks like the wooden floor of an abandoned cabin. There are blood smears on the ground and some animal bones.] #BLOOD. #GORE. #MANLYSHIT. #FEASTFORALORD.
HANG ON. I HAVE GOTTEN A DELIVERY. OF FINE MEATS. THAT I MUST FEAST ON MOMENTARILY. BUT I WILL RETURN.
I MISCLICKED. ON THE FOLLOW BUTTON. STOP THAT!
many such cases. Now you're officially a chittr user
NO MORE WHIMSY IS ALLOWED TODAY. YOU HAVE ALL. EXPENDED IT. WITH YOUR GREED!
I FUCKING KNOW. HOW TO USE MANNERS. I HAVE JUST NOT DEEMED. YOUR WHIMSICAL ASS. TO BE WORTHY OF THEM! ALSO YES. I WOULD LIKE. A MCDONALDS COKE.
I DON'T NEED. YOUR BELIEF. BUT IF YOU NEED IT. "PLEASE". WILL YOU RETRIEVE ME THE SODAS. TWO OF THEM. (SEE. THIS IS MY EVIL PLAN. WHERE I ATTEMPT TO SAY "PLEASE". BUT I AM NOT GENUINE WITH IT. WHATSOEVER. AND HE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW. HA HA HA!)
wow look at that you said please and even if it wasnt genuine just saying it at all is the first step to eventually meaning it. youre getting a crisp mcdonalds coke for effort and admitting you arent being earnest as fuck
I SEE. SOME PEOPLE ARE #WHIMSYPOSTING. (HA HA. SEE. I DID. THE HASHTAGS THE ONLY CORRECT WAY. BY IMPLEMENTING IT. INTO MY POST.) AND I WOULD LIKE TO REGALE THE CHAT. WITH TALES. OF MY OWN WHIMSY. TODAY. I GOT TO "HANG" WITH DIRK'S HORSE. HE HAS TOLD ME. THAT HORSES ARE TO NEVER BE EATEN. EVEN THOUGH THE SEEM. LIKE THE PERFECT SIZE AND COMPOSITION. FOR FEASTING. I WILL ADMIT. THAT THIS BEAST. IS "PLEASANT". AND IT WILL GROW TO BE ONE OF MY BRILLIANT PAWNS.
MANY PEOPLE. SEEM DISPLEASED. WITH MY ARRIVAL. I KNOW. YOU ARE DEVASTATED AT MY INTENSE "AURA". KNOW HOWEVER. THAT NO OTHER VERSION OF ME. IS BETTER THAN. ME!!!!!
DIRK. HE HAS NOTIFIED ME. THAT THIS SITE. UTILIZES "TAGS". BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE CANNOT HANDLE. SEEING EVERYTHING. HOW HORRIBLE FOR YOU. BUT FOR THIS SINGLE CASE. I WILL DECIDE TO UTILIZE THEM. BECAUSE HE WOULD CALL ME LAME. FOR GETTING BANNED. FROM YET ANOTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE. #FUCKYOU.
:33 < i rate this post 8/10 kitty points!! :33 < i share mewr mewpoint
I WENT TO A "CONVENIENCE STORE" THE OTHER DAY. I AM CONVINCED THIS WAS CREATED. BY MY MOST DEVIOUS OF SUBCONSCIOUS THOUGHTS. HOLY SHIT. THE LIGHTS. THE PEOPLE. IT IS HORRIBLE. WERE I A WEAKER BEING. I WOULD HAVE RUN IN FEAR. THE CASHIER DID NOT EVEN SEEM APPROPRIATELY FEARFUL. OR RESPECTFUL. OF MY TERRIFYING VISAGE.
THIS SITE. IT IS SO PERVERSE. THE "LIKES" AND THE "HATES". THIS FUNCTIONALITY. DO NOT GET ME WRONG. I AM DESERVING. OF ALL FLIRTATIOUS INCLINATIONS. HATES. PERVERTED LIKES. BUT NONE OF YOU. WOULD BE CAPABLE OF KEEPING UP. WITH ALL THIS!! (( #nsfw ? ))
thats where youd be wrong dude i can keep up with anyone even in an #nsfw sense
UNTRUE. YOU WOULD BE DISSOLVED. WITHIN THE FIRST FEW MOMENTS. FROM SHEER AWE AND MISERY. THE MISERY OF YOUR PRIDE BEING FUCKED.
ive never had my pride fucked but now im starting to think i wanna know what it feels like