♦ pitied by @uranianUmbra
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
Another sweep under my nonexistent belt. They're saying I may soon be the oldest troll to ever live.
#Substance #Relapsed https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0636c5651a67.png - MC Oleana
#MacroCullsmos #CanItRunHAL #CanItRunYAOI https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6ceb5459d2b7.gif - MC Oleana
}(]]]]]) < let's all hear five biǦ booms for this fool > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #ǦuzmoǦǦed > ([[[[[){ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/1b08ab7bbcaa.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/09febc8f8f90.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/a17262a5c358.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/5b169c884009.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/fb32cd10ea64.j₽eǦ
BЯROTHEЯRS A_D SISTEЯRS OF THE GЯRA_D CAЯR_IVAL GATHEЯRED TO_IGHT BE_EATH THE SHADOW OF THE EXECUTIO_EЯR'S SCYTHE TO ЯROAЯR, LAUGH, A_D WEEP OVEЯR THE EMPTY HUSK OF A TЯRUE DAЯRK PЯROPHET. ALTHOUGH I COULD ATTE_D I_ THE FLESH, SO STЯRO_GLY DID MY PUSHEЯR BEAT FOЯR A FELLOW BЯROTHEЯR THAT I COULD SEE IT AS IF I WEЯRE. A_D I HAVE BEE_ BLESSED WITH THE I_SPIЯRATIO_ TO WЯRITE I_ HIS HO_OЯR. ЯRHYMEBOY MAЯRSHALL. *THE* SLIM SHADY. O_E OF THE WICKEDEST, FASTEST, MOST MOTHEЯRFUCKI_G BLASPHEMOUS MOUTHS TO EVEЯR GЯRACE A PUЯRPLEBLOODED AЯRE_A. WE ALL K_OW HE WAS A FЯREAK OF _ATUЯRE-- WHILE THE ЯREST OF US BOAST THE GLOЯRIOUS, MUTED GЯREY SKI_ OF OUЯR WAЯRЯRIOЯR ЯRACE, BЯROTHEЯR MAЯRSHALL TOOK THE AЯRT OF FOOLISH VISAGE TO A TEЯRЯRIFYI_G EXTЯREME. HE WAS BOЯR_ FЯREAKISHLY, BLI_DI_GLY PALE. AS IF THE MOTHEЯR GЯRUB FOЯRGOT TO I_JECT A_Y PIGME_T I_TO HIS POD AT ALL. HE LOOKED LIKE A WALKI_G COЯRPSE EVE_ BEFOЯRE HE DIED, A GHOST I_ COAЯRSE CLOTHI_G-- YET HIS THI_KPA_ WAS FILLED TO THE BЯRIM WITH THE HOLY WHIMSY OF THE MIЯRTHFUL MESSIAHS. HE TOOK THE AЯRT OF THE ЯRHYME SLAM A_D TUЯR_ED IT I_TO A LITEЯRAL, BO_E-S_APPI_G SLAUGHTEЯRHOUSE. HE SPE_T HIS LO_G (BUT _OT LO_G E_OUGH) EXISTE_CE VEЯRBALLY CULLI_G A_YO_E WHO DAЯRED TO BЯREATHE HIS AIЯR. PAI_TED TAЯRGETS O_ THE TAЯRGETLESS. TЯREATED LOWBLOOD SCUM LESSEЯR THA_ THE WOЯRMS BE_EATH HIS STЯRUT PODS. HE I_SULTED THE WEAK, MOCKED THE SUBJUGGLATOЯR AUTHOЯRITIES, A_D WOЯRE HIS OW_ PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE LIKE A BEAUTIFUL, TEЯRЯRIFYI_G COAT OF HOLY FACE PAI_T. WHO AMO_G US CA_ FOЯRGET HIS HOLY SCЯRIPTUЯRES? HE SPOKE OF HIS LUSUS’ GЯRUBLOAF, HEAVY O_ HIS SWEATEЯR ALЯREADY. PALMS SWEATY. K_EES SPAGHETTI. HE SPAT HOT, PSYCHIC FIЯRE SO FAST IT WOULD SCЯRAMBLE A_Y U_PЯREPAЯRED CHUCKLEFUCKEЯR'S CHAOS CO_COCTIO_. HE WAS A MASTEЯR OF THE BЯRUTAL, U_HI_GED DISS TЯRACK, WHICH IS _OTHI_G SHOЯRT OF A VEЯRBAL JUGGLI_G ACT WHEЯRE THE CLUBS AЯRE LACED WITH ЯRUSTED ЯRAZOЯR BLADES. LET US _OT FOЯRGET HIS COMPLICATED ЯRECKO_I_G WITH HIS QUADЯRA_TS. WE ALL ЯREJOICED WHE_ HE UTTEЯRLY EVISCEЯRATED THAT LOUD-MOUTHED, HIGH-MAI_TE_A_CE POP-DЯRO_E MAЯRIAH. SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD PLAY SOME MI_D GAMES WITH A HIGHEЯR SUBJUGGLATOЯR, BUT HE TЯRASHED THAT OBSESSIVE EX-MATESPЯRIT SO HAЯRD I_ THE AЯRE_A THE WHOLE QUADЯRA_T COLLAPSED I_TO COLD, DEAD CHU_KS. HE PUT HEЯR ASS I_ THE GAЯRBAGE COMPACTOЯR WHEЯRE ALL HIGH STЯRU_G CHATTEЯRBOXES BELO_G. HE HAS EXITED THIS TE_T OF ЯREALITY. HIS VOICE HAS GO_E QUIET, LEAVI_G THE EMPIЯRE A FAЯR MOЯRE BOЯRI_G, PATHETIC PLACE. BUT WE K_OW THE TЯRUTH-- HE HAS _OT TЯRULY CEASED TO BE. HE HAS GO_E TO JOI_ THE DAЯRK CAЯR_IVAL I_ THE SKY, WHEЯRE THE FAYGO FLOWS LIKE HEMOLYMPH, A_D THE JOKES _EVEЯR, EVEЯR STOP KILLI_G. SO ЯRAISE YOUЯR BOTTLES TO THE SKY. LET OUT A MOTHEЯRFUCKI_G HO_K THAT ЯRATTLES THE STAЯRS THEMSELVES. MAY YOUЯR ЯREST BE VIOLE_T, BЯROTHEЯR SHADY. THE EMPIЯRE WAS _EVEЯR ЯREADY FOЯR YOUЯR BЯRA_D OF MIЯRACLES.
HOW YOUЯR LUSUS LOOKS AT YOU JUST BEFOЯRE SETTI_G YOU O_ FIЯRE. JUST BECAUSE YOU DAЯRED TO TELL HEЯR THAT SHE'S _OT E_TITLED TO THIЯRD HELPI_GS JUST BECAUSE SHE HAS LOVED A_D PЯROTECTED A_D SUPPOЯRTED YOU SI_CE _IGHT O_E. GOD!!!!!
NOT IN THAT WAY!!!! I MEANT IN TERMS OF ATTITUDE!!!!!!!
…I GOT SO FUCKING SOFT SO FUCKING FAST…
https://i.ibb.co/GQjGdSgz/image.png The grind never stops. #FishingFriday @caligulasAquarium
YEAHH SURE WHYNUOT.
STUDUID SHIT. TELL,ME RAND I’LL DIO IT.
GDDVG8BE ME STDUIOD SHIT TO DO BEL9ELW
WSLW TYPING IS DHRHARDER THAN I THOUHHT. TELL ME STUIPID RSHIT TO DO DAND IKLL DO IT.
ITS THAT TIME OF THE NIGHT WHERE WE BUST OPEN 47 JADE GEODES BABY lets go #JADEBUSTING!!!!! who the HELL is ready to come bust w/ me!!!!!! #wecantstopwinning @adiosToreador @uranianUmbra#4373 @twinArmageddons#6936
WHE_ I HIT THE BODEGA A_D THEY FUCK UP MY OBLO_G MEAT PЯRODUCT, I CULL THE FIЯRST MISEЯRABLE GUTTEЯRBLOOD THAT HAPPE_S TO CЯROSS MY PATH ЯRIGHT AFTEЯR. SPЯREAD THE WOЯRD TO SAVE YOUЯR WASTE OF SPACE QUADЯRA_TMATE OUT O_ THEIЯR EAЯRLY-MOЯR_I_G GЯROCEЯRY ЯRU_. SUBMIT A ЯREVIEW TO HAJJII'S A_D TELL THEM TO GET THEIЯR SHIT TOGETHEЯR.
Your name is HILDAH THUBAN. God DAMN do you love your job. Even amongst your ELITELY mirthful peers, you are a CHAMPION of SUBJUGGLATION and a DECORATED RINGMASTER of your own tent in the Dark Carnival. You are the CHOSEN HEROINE of the mythical dragon RESHIRAM, and with the blazing blue flare of TRUTH behind your ROTATING BIZARSENAL, there is nothing that any SCUMSUCKING IDEALIST GUTTERBLOOD can do to stop you. From your spiraling tower, you help to maintain the peace of your assigned colony, POMON. Unless you're in the mood to disturb it, which is as OCCASIONAL as it is your MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHRIGHT. You like to engage in the cultural zeitgeist that dominates your planet's professional, recreational, and economical spheres, FIDUSPAWN; you are as formidable of a beast on the MAKE-BELIEVE BATTLEFIELD as you are on the REAL ONE. The WARRIOR'S BURDEN also follows you home when you aren't at work or at play, forcing you into nightly WRANGLING SESSIONS between YOURSELF, your FIERY, OVERBOARING MOTHER, and your CO-GLADIATOR. This often results in you walking away SOOT-FACED and SINGED TO SHIT, though your unruly mane grows back unrealistically fast. You enjoy yourself a good CONCERT, catching the early-morning GAME on the PROPAGANDA BOX, and long STALKS on UNDELLA BEACH. You're told you have a TOOTHY smile, even when you manage to keep your mouth shut. :oX Your trolltag is achromaticCrusade [AC] and you type with the GUTTUЯRAL GЯROWL of a woman who WANTS FOЯR _OTHING. STOP ASKI_G. (( Lore overview to be added in replies! )) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/cd140be0a19c.jpg
yOU KNOW, i'M NOT SURE WE HAVE REALLY, cHATTED BUT,,, yOU ARE BASICALLY, tHE 6TH aLPHA kID, hUH?
what the wretched fuckin eff is even happening ne more tonight :/
well obv its bc nintendo life is WAYYYYYY better than any other game rag out there *cough cough GAME GRL hak cough* omg tho.... u know maybe we SHOULD go find a kickass frolicking beach or a snowwy wood or some shit r u suggesting we maybe take a little trip together ;))) ooo la la!
OOC // the equally stupid expanded custom JANE KIN FLOWER https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f67926165357.png
tHIS SOUNDS NORMAL AND REGULAR, tO ME,
CORRECT CHOICE #NeverPickASide
and does that make u PRO TAP WATER or ANTI TAP WATER in this situation.....
o kayyyy HOLD ON im callin the referee!!!!
my brain just knows its tap water i litrally couldnt even tell u why LOL
freudian???? but there werent any moms or dicks or boobs in this one lol!!
anyways this is like the 4th time ive had the tap water dream lately LMAOOO
lately ive been havin these weird fuckin dreams where callie n i are frolicking on a biiiiig sunny beach i chase them & they chase me until im like fuck dude im so gd thirsty because of all this water were runnin around!! lmao & then dream!callies like oh luv ive got just the thing!! ^u^ n they they like gently take my chin..... and start feedin me spoonfuls of tap water liek im a beautiful baby bird idk whats up w/ that LOL #DreamCallieReport #DreamRoxyReport
#FishingFriday https://i.ibb.co/YBpJ80wD/image.png @caligulasAquarium @golgothasTerror @tipsyGnostalgic#2248 @terminallyCapricious#2753 @gutsyGumshoe @technicallyTimaeus @adiosToreador
.....lil wings??????? *GASP*
a certain #Calliope was takin off their sweater 2 get into peak gamer mode for their tomodachi lyfe lock-in n omfg....... #HunkedOut #SleeperBuild #WhenDidDatHappenLol
also i made a casserole LMAO
o my fuck guys GUYS @uranianUmbra#4373 @twinArmageddons#6936 GUYSS MORE GREENIUM JUST GOT DELIVERED 2 TOWAR LALONDIA ALERT ALERRRRT we r opening the fuckin mega MOTHERLODE of jade geodes for din din tonight! weve got #BIGWINS on the menu!!!! PLZ meet me in the kitchenblock :DDD FOR OUR WINS #OurWinz
My dearest apologies! Unfortunately, I would be DEEP in the doghouse if I did not root for my own timeline's Callie. But disregarding my own temporal natives- sure, count yourself number one!
Unreal Heiress, play P. Control by Prince.
I know what I'm about, son.
That would be Nunnya Biznys.
I am proud to announce that I will be THE FIRST human interloper to set foot within the brooding caverns of Earth-C. This was mostly borne of olfactory curiosity, but I shall keep you, the curious public, posted on my findings.
??????????????????????????????
... Sir. You win. I can't compete with this caliber of effortless codgerly flaming. "They can't insult you if you can't comprehend it. You go low? I'll pick my nose and eat it."
Oh my lord. This is like scrounging for banter in the dementia ward. You are actually successfully baiting me into caring whether or not you receive my point. I am mashing the square peg into the round hole. CATCH OF THE DAY, FOLKS. WE JUST REELED IN A WHOPPER.
Somehow the factual basics of social media have EXPLODED into a conversation on the philosophy on life and interpersonal relationships. I am telling you, in concrete terms, how it works. Your personal preferences are kind of irrelevant here. It's the established norm. You can wear your hat on your rump; no one can stop you; but we've all agreed that isn't where it goes. :B
It is. Thank you for noticing.
That's what the bio is for. Common information by which you can cut a stranger's jib. Do you think people describe themselves publically under the assumption that no one will read it? Mega durr.
Are you perhaps new to social media or generally concussed.
Slow blink. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/795713d81b61.PNG
You're fine. :B
No, no. Let's dissect this assertion. What about me being corporate do you consider "weird," given that I spearhead a literal megacorporation. I'd like to know exactly how this differs from your expectations of a woman in my position. Please expound on this brilliant point.
In honor of #fishingfriday, I'd like to commemorate the most DESIRABLE CATCHES the parasocial users of this platform are endlessly baiting their hooks over. Beware: - The REASSURANCE REAPER. Most commonly downplaying their own social prowess (although at this point I think you people might be grading yourselves quite fairly). - The SYMPATHY SIFTER. Did you purchase yourself a coffee this morning? Good for you. They've never tried it. The purpleblood that keeps them locked in their basement makes them lick dirty puddle water from the dripping rusty pipes. They will make this your problem. - The SEXUAL ATTENTION SCAVENGER. No description for this one. I didn't say his name, but he popped up in your mind, didn't he?
All hail his majesty the reading comprehension king!
Shall I count my numerous praises for you, my dear Folykl? :B You are the ONLY person I will trust with a microphone at the next event I need to send the crowd screaming and spewing.
YOU are possibly worth scraping the bottom of my shoes with your miserable lunch-stained mouth.
Unfortunately, the public demands microcoddling.
GREAT START. THANKS. THANK YOU KINDLY. :| ... You are. An iteration of one of the people I hold most dearly in my life. So by proxy I suppose a portion of that care extends to you. See, this is harder when you come swinging lecherously out of the gate.
... Oh. It's you. Ahem. I actually have no complaints regarding your account. You seem decently intelligent and pleasant to be around. I... also enjoy the color scheme of your profile.
They can barely handle me at my baseline.
Ok. I can tell I am stomping the gas pedal on the general populace with undeserved vigor. We're #niceposting now. React and I will say something nice to you.
Very nice!
Excellent choice.
Which of these #BettyBother legacy emojis are you? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/457f6937724c.PNG
Make sure to counterfeit your service dog vest. You may not be permitted into a civic building otherwise. Also what. It's my company. I retain majority stock. I'm not hired by an external board. Are you daft or what!
Your lack of comprehension is not really my burden to bear! Hire a tutor!
WHO EVEN ARE YOU.
My #SignatureScent is not a fragrance which can be purchased "off the rack," as it were. It is olfactory couture, and the formula is proprietary. You would know it instantly if you smelled it, but recreating the exact proportions is impossible. It is like the formula for Coca-Cola that way! It has been engineered- shall we say maximized?- for the precise balance between the natural pH of my skin and the underlying chemical signals. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a2e25cb205f3.png
I'm so proud of her. :B
You dope. It can't be purchased. What part of proprietary don't you understand.
And by "we," I mean Eridan.
We had to kill SO many whales to curate the correct blend of ambergris.
Obviously we're workshopping a #SignatureScent for @caligulasAquarium. I believe we're nearing the final result. Give him a sniff if you ever have the chance. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2563b639e71b.png
... What. Really.
Doggone it, that is the funniest possible answer anyone could have come up with. You picked me the most succulent fruit right off the dialogue tree.
... Nothing. Nevermind. <:|
@carcinologyGenarch Quirk is fine. Timeless, even. But why do you look like that.
@introvertedInnovator Readable. Makes you sound sort of mealy-mouthed. If that's your intention, well done.
@advantageousCatharsis Horrible. Change it.
@arsenicCatnip#5895 I may simply be used to it, but I think it's middle of the road acceptable. I don't know that I'd call it distinguished. I'm more a fan of the wordplay.
@argenticGrandeur Quirk is fine, but your content makes you sound like sort of a dullard with an ugly ignorance as to human customs.
@tenebrificTermagant Again, just a touch underdone, but comprehensible. Acceptable. Is that you in your banner. What happened to you.
@aventurineCopycat I may simply be used to it, but I think it's middle of the road acceptable. I don't know that I'd call it distinguished. I'm more a fan of the wordplay.
@culpablyAtypical It's readable, but I find it a touch too much.
@coalescedDuality It's fine. Readable. A little sparse, maybe, but too little trumps too much.
@gratuitousAnnuity The quirk is fine. It's the things you say that turn my stomach.
@tipsyGenostalgic You're a human.
@archiveAddict Do you... HAVE a typing quirk? Frankly, it is not all that distinguishable from the simple affectation with which you speak. If I'm missing something, do let me know.
@pendingCompliance Enjoy the note suffix. Character replacements are UTTERLY UNREADABLE. Not good.
I have no notes as to yours. It's excellent. I designate you (and potentially your alternates) the ONLY intelligent lifeform to possess this quirk in all of paradox space. :B
Damn.
Just curious.
... Is that you in your profile picture.
@oleanderSupernova Subtle. Readable. I like it.
Not too complicated. Simple substitutions. It's quite good.
Like this chit and I'll tell you if your typing quirk is moronic, based purely on a superficial skim of your profile.
Thank you, Loser, and good luck to you! :|
@grimAuxiliatrix I am en route to the brooding caverns. Do I need. I don't know. A poncho. Is it going to be sticky. Or slime-ish. Should I change out of my suit. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d494e2a4b84f.jpg
DO NOT enter the brooding caverns if you are unprepared to be covered in dozens of crawling, squirming, greasy infant-sized larvae with semi-sapient eyes.
What the hell.
History indeed! :B That is an excellent summation of your person! You are history.
I would bet my hat you just hunched forward over your desk to formulate that response. Shall we continue to go back and forth over which of us is POSITIVELY NOT BOTHERED? It must be a difficult pill to swallow for a woman who once imagined eternity sprawled before her and then got her everloving shit rocked. How should I say this. You're being let go; your department's being downsized; you're part of an outplacement; we're going in a different direction. Your services among sapient civilization will no longer be required. Enjoy that hot pink slip. :B
Thank you very much.
... :B Someone take my granny dearest back to the dementia ward. YOU, you old biddy, are either already dead or soon to be murdered. Even if you succeed by some circumstance of your player opponents falling BEHIND the general curve of mediocrity, my "little world" is the victory for which you will scrap and claw. If you were any smarter, you would have recognized that we exist within different universes entirely, ingratiated yourself to me, and potentially scraped some pointers. But it's becoming apparent with every word out of your fool mouth that you are just a complete dullard, and NOT the woman whom I indirectly admired in my youth.
And the ones crawling up my legs.
With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter.
YOUR spawn? These are Terran trollspawn. You wish.
Envy is a good look on you. Keep it.
Dear god. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7d4308246c45.PNG
You sound like you need more than a moment.
Oh, good lord. FINE, we'll dissect the frog! IF THE JOKE IS THAT CROCKERCORP HUNTS USERS WITH KULT SCORES TOO SIGNIFICANT... (Pause for thought.) AND YOU ARE SAFE FROM THESE PERSECUTIONS. (Revelation loading on lagtime.) Then the punchline is...
Someone missed the joke! :B
Checked your profile. You're safe.
They say perfection is the enemy of good (humor)! - Also me, also just now.
HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO.
You keep telling yourself that! Something tells me your alternates would find this mortifying.
You assume this is some puritanical rant. I am merely swiping at the low hanging fruit, here. Whoops. No pun intended. Anyhow, that's disappointing. You've made an object of yourself. Not very regal.
I visited your page again to take another crack at your score. Did you post your nudes. :|
Identify yourself as the dunce. That'll show me! :B
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better, but the frog dies. - Jane Crocker, thirty seconds ago.
Now I see. THIS is a helpful clarification.
... Why is this demonstration of taste being perceived negatively.
Oh heavens to motherfucking Betsy; is THIS the mollycoddling language the people are using by the tips of their metaphorical toes? Just call me fat at that point.
Hold your noes. We're still receiving the data on this matter.
HOLD A MOMENT. I've only just recalled an inquiry I have been toting from several days ago. WHAT is a chubby chaser. <:| #nsfw I presume.
It may very well be.
You go listen to Too Young to Die on Jamiroquai's EMERGENCY ON PLANET EARTH album and tell me he wasn't a stealth agent for the human resistance. What did he know??? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/14a55fa7b1f8.jpeg
You ought to report this to a news outlet. The world will be UTTERLY SHOCKED at the prospect that JANE CROCKER might not be gung-ho and slinging placation about this hippie-dippie commune living. Also. *Closed-minded. And also *after all. This concludes our interaction. You're dismissed.
My eyes are simply glazing over at the thin, cheap veneer of these reassurances.
I don't believe in reeducation on this caliber of social felony. Now, if she were the one picking her cream of the crop and you were home keeping house... that would be inspired.
You slay me.
Your filly ought to be canonized into some religion's church as the patron saint of forgiveness, because I would have paved you still breathing under an asphalt road! #gore I SUPPOSE.
... Am I correctly reading your bio that you're married.
... Yes? Is this where you show enough gumption and follow-through to make a certified pass?
I posted a single innocuous inquiry about chubby chasing, and the clown is ALREADY standing outside my home office window. How he managed to bypass the estate security is anyone's guess, but also utterly predictable. He's out there posing like Justin Beiber. On his way to make One Less Lonely (Fat) Girl. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2172617eea7f.jpeg
Oh, what. :| Don't look so shocked. It's only natural.
NO NO, don't explain. Let us not kill the frog. I get it. :P
Hmmmm! :B
I have a shocking innovation of reproductive processes to posit here. That's when you have another one! :B
I can tell you don't know how this works. I am also pretty sure by that logic you don't quite know how being gay works! :B
A BABY. :|
There exists a singular ailment BEYOND my abilities as a healer to remedy alone. It's called Baby Fever, and it has only one cure.
Apparently he's not the only one.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD. GOOD LORD. This is why I button up on the feed. I am surrounded by lily-livered false idols of perversion. What's the term. You people are LARPing.
Alright. DM incoming.
I don't know that you'd fare much better, missy!!!
Showed @caligulasAquarium ONE PRIVATE INBOX with an old flame and he was too mortified to snoop through my phone any further. He's been slumping with his forehead against the car window for eight minutes.
Again, you dizzy old broad. What do you mean "will be." The troll population of Earth-C is centuries in the making.
You're odd.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!
APPARENTLY THEY CAN!!!!!!
I think I've somehow given you the false impression that I'm open to interacting with you on the regular.
They can see it.
Yes, you sure did. <:|
Horrifying private discussion with @bulgeCurator. ... This is no quasi-psychic charlatan. I think they might actually be able to see it. <:| #nsfw
The #totaldramaisland auditions are ROLLING IN. We are pleased to report a BUMPER CROP of eligible candidates. Please continue to post your submissions and to tag myself and @starPower. ... I WISH you could read what I'm reading. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e01183f9898c.png
Rufioh. Not even remotely the name of the program!!!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Prayer received! Thank you for the token of worship.
If you find these posts overwhelming, may I suggest you cease munching shrimps with the wimps and sample some lobster with the monster?
Some of you perverted reprobates ought to have your physical addresses reclassified as Superfund sites. I shudder to imagine what encrustation of bodily material hazards your F-ing dwellings. No, hold on. My moment in the seer's hood. I'm receiving a vision. Mmhmm. Yes. :| Some of you have stalactites hanging over your computer desks. I shan't say what of. #NSFW #NSFWE at this point.
It's good for your growth to have aspirational goals. Might I suggest anything else in the whole world?
THIS ONE WINS.
Beautiful location. Considering a timeshare.
Everyone wants to be the biggest pervert in the sherbert.
Oh, I think we all surmise you're in need of pointers.
Get your ineffectual geriatric troll keisters off my post.
Are YOU excited for #TotalDramaIslandInterdimensional?
LIKE IT'S MY FAULT THEY FORMULATED HIS CASTING TO MAKE HIM THE OBVIOUS SCENE-STEALING MINX HE IS. I am telling you. They are doing it on purpose.
Sopranos Tier List. Correct opinions only. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ea90f699102e.PNG
https://macmillanenglish.com/level-test/
And your response was to inform me that he's gay? As if THAT is the barrier to our great romance? RATS. Otherwise, I could have had him!!! (Mega durr goes here.)
Why would I care that a fictional character is gay.
... I regret to report that I have become derailed from my own thought processes while attempting to formulate a proper Breaking Bad tier list. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0ffcae3e3db3.PNG
Twilight. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/fc3814af138a.PNG
:P
https://macmillanenglish.com/level-test/
https://macmillanenglish.com/level-test/
Like this post if you consider yourself an extremely forgettable member of the Chittr userbase to be entered into a random undisclosed lottery. Real nobodies only.
@obliqueDetourer https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0046055a3877.gif
Absolutely.
As long as they don't call me late for supper!
Yes, durr.
They call me Prank Sinatra.
Where did you even get this.
Unreal Heiress, play Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox.
Of what fame?
... Nothing. Proceed.
Is tyhat you in your porfil epicture.
Ah, yes. The majestic lusus in its natural habitat. @affableCantor https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9932b36b6e4c.gif
As it so happens, that's what he said, too.
Apparently!!! <:|
It doesn't matter what quality of beautiful, EXPENSIVE heirloom glacial char fillet kitchen staff feeds @caligulasAquarium for dinner at my house. I WILL come downstairs for a glass of water at three AM and find him eating the head, guts and bones out of the fridge. Apparently they just save it for him in a bowl at this point. Why do I even bother. I'm about to start feeding him like a Sea World intern. Whole critter right into his open maw.
... There, there. Don't, er. ... Sorrows. Sorrows, prayers. <:|
NOT FOR YOU!
STOP ASKING ME IF NANNASPRITE IS SINGLE. YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
WHAT?
That is a lofty ask to make of her. :B
Could you better explain the point you're making. I'm having trouble tracking it.
Just checked. It's Meenah. Saw her most recent submission. I think it's fairly safe to assume my initial point stands.
Are the Peixes even associated with culinary hobbies? This feels like a reach.
I'm not competing, dingbat.
Still, though.
I might have only skimmed.
Shrug. On the main page, I guess.
Please peruse the current list of competitors before judging the height of the bar. It's like Flat Stanley at the limbo tournament. NOW. Congratulations! You've come full circle to my original point. Hold on. What's this? Your prize? Why, it's a big gold DURR! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2dff320c9d81.png
Unreal Heiress, send @containedArmageddons a voucher for Betty Crocker Suddenly (Pasta) Salad. ... Throw in a Hamburger Helper Deluxe Beef Stroganoff.
You have no reason to know this about me, so I'm going to refrain from mocking you. Just because the culinary subsidiary of my corporation is MOST CLOSELY associated with baked goods, that does not mean I, as an adult woman, could not fumble and grope my way around a kitchen with a middling level of competence. Cooking plumb isn't that hard if you have your dome screwed on straight.
I could never audition for #AngelsNutritionBlock as my sheer culinary prowess would tank the competitive spirits of the other amateur contestants. But please rest assured I WILL be watching this evening, popcorn in hand.
Hoo! Oh, I presume it would. Come, now. You're alive and well. You certainly have some years of wisdom on these youngsters. Why so shy?
AHEM. I may circulate this post for the afternoon and evening crowds again, so don't be surprised if you see a repost. Here are the details for the next season of TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL. Our roster will include: - Twelve trolls, rust through violet castes. Two will be permitted to enter as hemoanonymous. - Four carapacians. - Eight human beings. - Two wildcards. Sprites, cherubs, and species otherwise not listed here. The grand prize for winning will be a fast track to sleazy tabloid fame, a small fortune, and *one* favor of your choice granted by myself. TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL will be sponsored by Crockercorp and air exclusively on the Bettybroadcast Worldwide network (BBW). You have until May 1st to get your auditions in, at which point we will announce the final cast! We will begin live broadcasting on May 11. Please *Read* and fill out the attached form to audition. https://forms.gle/4LzUEzdjbB3ijuqD8 #totaldramaisland
:B
Instantaneous fan of the Bland Highblood. @terminallyCapricious#2753 Have you ever considered corking your relentless blithering and taking the ultimate vow of silence? The eternal STFU? @tropophilicCharades Perhaps you could supply your new pupil with some pointers.
Ahem. Due to several auditions having been submitted for TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL without the final tapes being published to the feed, @starPower and I are allowing an emergency final 24 hours for any remaining submissions. Please feel free to message me directly with any inquiries. See @starPower's pinned post for submission details. The broadcast will begin on May 11th. See you there!
... Whatever.
OH BECAUSE HE WAS GAY SHE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM AND HE WAS GAY IS THAT YOUR JOKE YOU COCKFUCKING BUFFOON IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? MAYBE SHE SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THE GAY COUPLE!!!! ... What are we even arguing about right now.
AND THE FUSE THING GIVES ME THE CREEPS.
Your "brother?" You mean said underdeveloped lump, foisting his parental issues onto his partner? Sounds about right.
... I'd like that.
... I think you and I have turned over an odd commonality.
Just watched Together with Alison Brie and Dave Franco. I still can't tell how I feel about that ending. :( Why couldn't they simply have gotten married in the beginning. A girl guts herself open to take the onus of the proposal into her own hands (#girlboss #doitinfrontofpeople #sohecantsayno) and they drag her through ALL OF THAT? ... Poor thing. What a lump of dead weight they saddled her with.
More than a baking rant coming. A baking tirade, if you will.
I love that it censored my cake.
A RAPID FIRE SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS METHODS OF CAKE DECORATION. Part one of ???. VINTAGE LAMBETH CAKES. Starting off on a complimentary note. Ah, my sweet Lambeth. Do give Lambeth Method of Cake Decoration and Practical Pastries by Mr. Joseph A. Lambeth himself a read if you're ever looking to expand your horizons. When done skillfully and with a tactful selection of colors, this layered piping method, all buttercream, can BOTH harken back to timeless luxury AND hop aboard whatever stupid internet aesthetic trend you've decided to embody until all its juice has run out on social media and you're stood holding the dry husk of those Walmart Valentine cakes. Heck, even done UNskillfully, I find the execution charming. The uneven shells and scrolls, all layered together, still culminate in a hot homemade mess worth digging into. Sisters, not octuplets. My ONLY CRITICISM. You will have to discard uneaten frosting at the end of your slice. The frosting ratio is imbalanced due to the superficial demands of the style. But you will find that the hours of intricate detailing smooth your psyche into a flat, winding path upon which you may cruise away the empty afternoon. Unfulfilled housewives with a #substance problem, this is the method for you. Forget your useless husband and children exist as you perfect the sugar fleur de lis. Also, color composition matters in this method matters. The MORE colors you use, the further you drift from cake couture to... homemade-fancy-frill? Monochromatic is most formal. Base color with white trim is cocktail attire. Base color plus different color trim (usually in pastels) is down to semiformal. Adding fruit knocks you down another peg. You will find this timeless method coupled with a myriad of ridiculous internet trends, as all metaphorical reheated nachos are wont to be. See: the bleeding heart-shaped cake with the knife sticking out. Something something Taylor Swift. Frankly, I say send her rear end back to country music. She's not doing anything for the pop genre in which she's been granted residency. Anyhow, try frosting a Lambeth sometime. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ace092e2fe0d.png
Added to the list!
The Alternian Empire did a couple of things right and that was one of them.
That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
I have a special hatepost reserved for Cake Boss cakes.
A RAPID FIRE SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS METHODS OF CAKE DECORATION. Part two of ???. Did I say rapid fire? I meant colonial musket speed. This one's going to be a compilation. Lambeth deserved his own post for reasons I hope are self-explanatory. SEPARATED TIER CAKES are most commonly depicted as VINTAGE WEDDING CAKES. You can probably imagine for yourself my reaction to the transformation of a fully edible dessert into something half-plastic, rendered more of a decorative centerpiece. Actually feels like a concession in luxury and labor. But trust me when I say it is nothing compared to those enormous wedding cakes made almost entirely of frosted styrofoam minus the base portion to be cut by the bride and groom. On all that is holy, there is a special place in Hell awaiting those who partake in THAT dullheaded custom. ... I do so love those vintage wedding toppers. Always pictured my own. ... Started doodling. Got distracted. MOVING ON. On the flip side, MINIMALIST CAKES. Can be frosted smoothly without the additional frills, perhaps with a simple texture. May only be crumb-coated. May only be jam-filled with frosting, fruit, or powdered sugar on top. If you were going for rustic- congratulations, you've arrived. If your goal was elegance, you had better hope and pray for a surgeon's hands as you smooth those edges. The well-made cake, inherently, is already a beautiful artifact. It is the natural instinct not to want to make up that which already sports perfect bone structure. Hat on a hat. Some people are into the hat-stacking dealie, if certain fatherly forums are to be believed, but let us give props to doing just enough and no more than that. ARGH. I keep looking at wedding cake toppers. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7e73372b1570.png
Ok I am undispo indisposed for about an hour dur to circumstances. I will continues with my various baking opinions when my faculties can be scraped offiof the floor. Concept: a big ass fucking flan. What if we do one.
Phew-whee. That was an exercise in indulgence to be sure, my dear!
What the fuck was I going on about flan for.
OOC // UPDATED PINNED POST Jane Crocker. Earth-C. Details below. https://gutsygumshoe-chittr.carrd.co/ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f0d6b970c1f1.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/04a43867d9bf.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2b98abba0f13.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b068a46fc3d1.png
callie has been actin real #Sus ever since i brought up the charcoochie board #Hmmmm
like lmaoooo what could happen its not like we could get fined for #PublicCharcoochieEatin LOL
LOL!! wat do u mean its just charcoochie
@uranianUmbra#4373 heyyy i made u a charcoochie board 4 ur literary fic analysis meeting l8r
Ending #FishingFriday strong. #CanItRunHAL: aerial drone swarm? ✅ #WorldIsMine @timaeusTestified#0414 #ResetTheClock https://i.ibb.co/23z6BhTr/image.png
࣪⊹₊˚{ tell me im pretty. or else! }^u^{ }⟡u⟡{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ https://i.ibb.co/zH7yq7CX/4-26-26-cari-crop2.png https://i.ibb.co/7J5DQt1m/4-26-26-cari-crop3.png https://i.ibb.co/JRvQQFZx/4-26-26-cari.png }˚₊⊹ ࣪
440. New PB. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/72b46a7b609c.png
#Normal #NormalAbtIt #AmNorm
A hint of what the subscribers are learning about over at plushrump.com. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3cad587ded42.png
I've got it handled.
#FishingFriday @technicallyTimaeus https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4c4e360d8614.png #suicide (mention)
As you well know, there are no uploads on Fridays for plushrump.com in recognition of #FishingFriday. Zip up your pants and polish an actual goddamn rod for once. I've already got mine in hand, pulled taut in anticipation of the bountiful load set to burst forth.
how oddly specific.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c18d22db47cb.png https://youtube.com/shorts/Aq3OQrPcVV4Y #eridanwweek #imcoming #bouncingonit #iwwantcandy
TAKING A POLL. <3 - KAWOSHIN <> - SASUNARU <3< - LAWLIGHT c3< - ZOSAN
Official statement. The subsection of the Creator Pantheon formerly known as the "Alpha Kids" are NOT in any manner of vacillating quadruple-slash-quintuple. Thank you.
【 What do you mean an astronomical legislacerator's fee like this was not in the advertising budget? 】
this always happens to me when theres a hot guy T____T #WhyMe #Whyyy #WhyGodWhy
are you sure? *wonk*
~vvhy vvould you vvant to do that :{
Proud to announce @screamingPoet as an independent performer at #ERIDANWEEK SPONSORED BY CROCKERCORP with a humorous satirical monologue on our beloved ERIDAN AMPORA! We here at Crockercorp encourage ALL religious and political creeds to gather and freely express their hearts and minds. @screamingPoet , welcome to the Crocker family.
if you wwondered wwhy you aint seein as many trans people on trans day a vvisibility its cause they all wwent to #eridanwweek
i AM SO IMPRESSED BY THE #uNREALhEIRESStIARATOPflarpvrhEADSET! tHE GAMEPLAY WAS EXTREMELY ENGAGING AND REALISTIC. bOY DID IT WORK UP AN APPETITE FIGHTING ALL THOSE BEASTS! i THINK i'M GOING TO GO ENJOY A DELICIOUS cROCKERCORP BRAND FOOD AND/OR BEVERAGE PRODUCT HERE AT #eRIDANwEEK SPONSORED BY #cROCKERCORP - pOSTED FROM MY uNREAL hEIRESS tIARATOP flarp vr hEADSET -
Are you #bouncingonit at #eridanweek? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/28c0852979c4.png
fucked up that taking tr0ll xanax at #eridanweek just s00thed my anxiety instead 0f getting me high. i can't have shit. #substance
i #NEED callie coinz
i wonder if #Calliope will b coming 2 #eridanweek......