cans
@canS
"GOOD NOUGH," 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦d 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
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SΦmetimes I wΦnder ĤΦw mucĤ I'd need tΦ sa∇e up fΦr a Ĥuge mansiΦn, tĤen I remember tĤere's nΦwĤere fΦr a mansiΦn tΦ e∇en gΦ arΦund Ĥere, at least a new Φne tĤat is.
JUST LEVEL FOUNDATION. PUNCH REALHARD...BUILD WHATEVERYOU WANT ONTOP.
⏰🪙🫲🫱📊 OHHH THIS IS GONNA BE IT!!! I WISH I HAD THE BANDWIDTH TO SYNTHESIZE THE FULL SCOPE OF THIS BREAKLESS HYPE TRAIN UNINTERRUPTED BY PINGING NOTIFICATIONS!!! ⏰🪙🫲🫱📊 👉🤏↷➰ twirls my hair damaROUND and ROUND and ROUND and ROUND😁🤏↷➰👈 🫵 YOU THOUGHT THE MARKET FOR MIDDLING MANAGERS HAD CORRECTED ITSELF AND CORNER OFFICE VILLAINS WERE DEAD STOCK??? 🫵 ✨📉❌📉❌🚨📉❌🚨📉❌🚨🚨 exTREMELY loud market correction!!! EARBLOODYING BUZZER SOUNDS!!! CRITICAL OVERSIGHT IN DUE DILIGENCE!!!! 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 PISSED AWAY MILLIONS, BILLIONS EVEN!✨📉❌🚨📉❌🚨📉❌🚨📉❌ 🤝🤝🤝 behold the woman. the myth. the handshake made of the stuff of legend. the absolute deadline-driving, timeline-dividing, grindset-grievance-hoarding stakeholder savant...THE CHAIRMINISTRANGLER'S CHOICE AWARD RECIPIENT!!!!!! @handMaid i have GOT to hand it to you, i couldnt have done this without you!!!! literally🤝🤝🤝 ⏱️💼🗡️❌ SHE'S NOT JUST AN EMPLOYEE. SHE'S AN ENTREPRENEUR OF OUTWARDLY EXTENDED EXTINCTION. SHE'S NOT JUST A SERVANT. SHE'S A SYNERGY SADIST. SHE'S NOT JUST ASSASSIN. SHE'S AN ANGEL INVESTOR IN ANGUISH INFLICTING AERIAL ASSASSINATING DOWNWARDLY DRAPED BODIES!!!! AND SHE! DROPS! THEM! LIKE! SHE'S! HOT!!!! SHE IS A WALKING PERFORMANCE REVIEW OF LETHAL LETHARGY INDUCING POISONOUS PROPORTIONS WHO SOMEHOW REMAINS HR-COMPLIANT THROUGH THE POWER OF UNALIENATED OPTICS ALONE!!!!! WHO NEEDS WORK-LIFE BALANCE WHEN YOU'RE A GAL LIKE SHE???? EY??? WHAT'S UP DOC??? YOUR DAUGHTER, SCRATCH DADDY, DUH!!!! AND WHAT GOES UP... ❌⏱️💼🗡️ 👇🫡📈 introducing: 📈🫡👇 💥💥💥 THE BADBITCH DEMONESS💥💥💥 🧡🧡🧡 DAMARA MEGIDO (oomfie!) 🧡🧡🧡 👆because when the profaned dark lord demands scalable solutions for timeline tackling, and the talent pool run dry, Damara, a bodybag deliverables-obsessed, a paradigm-shifter, and cutting-edge edge-cutting (but not corner cutting) self-starter, STRATEGICALLY arrives with KILLER OPTICS, slide deck in hand, a glowy needle, and absolutely no intention of letting the competition survive even a minute past the thirty this little circle back around is scheduled for -- removing bitches like unoptimized legacy code in a server migration (plus, what's more disruptive than temporal paradoxes??? talk about trailblazing!)👆 🕰️🔪📊 she can pivot the timeline, hand you your ass, optimize the workflow, streamline your ancestors, downsize the population, leverage the causal loop, this badbitch, ohhhhh guuuurl, she would circle back to kill your grandfather just to shove the bootstrap paradox down his throat just to feel the butterfly effect in his tummy, and probably scratch it all before it crashes the whole damn session!!!! beforans get shit DONE!!!! 🕰️🔪📊 🌟🌟🌟 introducing one more time, starting today, my official fellow title-bearing coworker (thaaaanks cali b!!!!!! @caliBorn) annnnnnnndddddd shoulder-to-shoulder peer...as 𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇⚠️𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 to my chosen title of À𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐃 🌟🌟🌟 🧡🧡🧡 DAMARA MEGIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 🧡🧡🧡 🎭 what a HOSTILE TAKEOVER HUH???? 🎭 #Chairministrangler #TheHandMaid #DamaraMegido #Alternia #TheFelt #StartupVillainsWISH #TemporalDisruptor #GoldbloodGrindset #OpticsQueen #SynergySadist #TimelineCEO #MurderousMentor #CatastrophicallyEmployed #BusinessEndOfTheNeedle #CertifiedStrangledMoment #ActualHostileTakeover #NSFW #BecauseWhatWorkIsSafeNow #IMean #REALLY 🫱🫲 CHARMS is WIPING TEARS FROM LAUGHS AND GOOD TIMES (ABOUT TO BE) HAD.
PUNCH HER!!!! @charmeuseCaressing @luckyCharms @charmHer @luckEcharms @thegoldgildedGrindset @ceoCharms!!!!
👋🖐️✋🫦👄good luck, bitch, i'm behind like 7+ proxies🫦👄✋🖐️👋 🟢🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙 CHARMS is BEHIND LIKE 7+ PROXIES.
HOW THICK IS A PROXY?
👋🖐️✋not as thick as you cansome (said like handsome just fyi)✋🖐️👋 🟢🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙 CHARMS is BEHIND LIKE 7+ PROXIES AND A PICKUP LINE.
LIKE. HANDSOME? HEEHEH.
DON’T FALL FOR HER TEMPTRESS WILES. YOU FOOL.
😁😁😁she's right! fall for mine instead, ignore damara😁😁😁 🫰🫰🫳put those strong capable flashy muscular arms to good use and bring my petite little ultra compact lightweight 200 ibs bags to my new room pretty puhleaaaaseeeeeee🫳🫰🫰 ✨🤙and be my super deluxe ultra premium special bodyguard for the night? call it À 𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐔 rendezvous, yeah? 🤙✨ 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
HEH. YES SIR, MR. MISSUS CHARMS. RIGHT AWAY.
The hell is that smell.
Who made s'mores on the stove? #manorupdates
BOSS. SAID HE WANTED SMORE. AFTER CANS KILLED SOMEBODY. SO CANS MAKE SMORE. SO MANY SMORE.
Explains the mess. Did you put everything away, stripe? Er. Back in the place you go it from.
OK. PUTTED IT ALL AWAY. NO BIGGIE.
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS ALL. TO DESTROY. PuRGE. PILLAGE. RANSACK. AND BRING RuIN TO ALL THAT STOOD IN MY WAY. THE GALAXY IS CRuEL. uNFEELING. AND APATHETIC. AS A STATE OF STATuS FuCKING QuO. HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN FOR NO GODDAMN REASON AT ALL. SO WHY SHOuLDN'T I? IT AMuSES THE FuCK OuT OF ME. WHEN PEOPLE STAND ON CEREMONY. "NO". THEY SAY. "DON'T". THEY CRY. "IT'S WRONG". THEY BEG. "PLEASE". THEY INSIST. "SPARE ME". THEY PLEAD. I AM NO JuDGE. NO JuRY OF PANELISTS. NO FAT STACK OF LARDASSED BuREAuCRATS YOu CAN BRIBE. I AM DEATH. DELIVERANCE. GOD. LORD IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. HOW IS FLOODING THE EARTH WITH VIOLENCE ANY DIFFERENT THAN A CLEANSING SPRITZ OF RAIN? FOOLISH. I KILL BECAuSE IT'S FuNNY. THAT'S MORE REASON THAN YOuR GOD WILL EVER OFFER YOu. AND ONLY I AM HERE TO SAY. I AM RIGHT.
YOU JUST SAY THINGS. IT’S ALWAYS SIMILAR JUST WORDED DIFFERENTLY.
GREETINGS. WAIT uNTIL YOu FIND OuT HOW WORDS WORK. NONE OF THEM ARE ORIGINAL. IT HAS ALL BEEN SAID BEFORE. ONLY THE ORDER CHANGES. YOu FuCKING DIPSHIT. THIS IS A CORNERSTONE OF COMMuNICATION. WE ARE ALL REFERENCING THINGS. IT IS LIKE. IF THE ALPHABET WERE STAR WARS. AND EVERYONE KEPT WAILING. YOu KNOW OBI WAN. OBI WAN. DEATH STAR. uH. PRINCESS LEIA. DuR. YOu'RE MY ONLY HOPE. FuCKING. KYBER CRYSTAL. YES. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS. BECAuSE IT HAS ALL BEEN FuCKING SAID BEFORE. YOu SOuND LIKE A GODDAMN NERD. WHEN YOuR CRITIQuE. IS THAT I AM JuST SAYING THINGS. IT IS SOCIAL FuCKING MEDIA. ALL ANYBODY EVER DOES IS SAY THINGS. HERE IS A NEW THING. @canS. HATE THIS POST. IMMEDIATELY.
WHAT IS A STAR WAR? LIKE IFF PLANET DUTY? @CANS IS THIS TRUE?
uh. YES. CON FIRM TRUE. HUNDRED PERCENTS.
do 7ou ever think about how ever7thing will be destro7ed whether 7ou do it or not? just kinda signing 7our name on the universal entrop7 that was gonna (laim ever7thing regardless
GREETINGS. YOu FAIL TO REALIZE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF OuTLASTING. THE EMINENCE IT BRINGS TO BE THE HARBINGER OF ALL THINGS uNWOuND. THE GRATIFICATION. THE AuTHORITY. THE MIGHT. OF CHOOSING WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES. THAT KIND OF MIGHT SCuLPTS AND WARPS REALITY. CHOOSES WHAT COMES FuCKING NEXT. BEING THE KINGMAKER FOR THE NEXT CROAK TO WRENCH FREE FROM THE DYING GASPS OF A uNIVERSE THAT MADE ITSELF REPLACEABLE. YOu ARE TOO SMALL MINDED TO POSSIBLY uNDERSTAND. AND FOR THAT. I PITY YOu. I APOLOGIZE. CANDIDLY. SPEAKING OF @canS. PITY THIS POST AT ONCE! I DEMAND IT. IN FACT. START WRESTLING uP SOME OTHERS. IN CASE A MORE PITIABLE GODDAMN POST EMERGES.
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LITERALLY NONE OF THESE WOMEN ARE GREEN OR COMING OuT. REPuLSIVELY DISHONEST COMMENTS SECTION. ALL OF YOu. I HAVE THE OPPORTuNITY TO DO THE FuNNIEST THING IMAGINABLE. BuT NONE OF YOu DESERVE IT. AND NONE OF YOu WOuLD GET IT.
im getting it privatelly so that none of these other posers can pretend to appreciate your enllightened humor
VERY VERY WISE. @canS. LIKE THIS POST ON MY BEHALF.
WASN'T. SURE WHICH ONE. SO I JUS. LIKED EM ALL. SO NOBODY CAN FEEL LEFT OUT BY NOBODY. AND ALSO. HANDS IS TOO BIG FOR LITTLE SQUEAKY MICE. CLICKS HARD.
OH. CANS CAN FIX. NUTS NOT NUMB.
I beg and caution you all. Please do not bring up American psychologist Harry Harlow around my brother. It is not a rule. I am powerless to punish anyone formally. But he will make existence an ornery and suffering filled one. Propagating annoyance unending.
disregard this completely in fact @ me if you do i can be so fucking normal about this
who is dat
Elder Gods fucking damnit. You've started him up. He is doubtful to stop any time soon. The joke is he tortured monkeys. Harry Harlow tortured monkeys. And he was a very not swell or ethical guy in doing so. Ha ha. So funny. We can stop this incessant bit, @insufferablePrick, as there is no new information here.
oh that sounds fucked up why does your brother idolize a monkey murderer
He doesn't. He just knows this one singular cosmic instance of a joke annoys the everloving hells out of me. But he does it anyway for precisely that reason.
oh it's ragebaiting i misunderstood and thought he was smart my b
why would you ever think that of me how did i hurt you so
honestly my mistake for thinking a strider had intelligence soz fam
CANS FORGIVE SAME WAY ALSO.
i don't remember having available badges let's see oh my goodness.
BOSS BE'D SURE TO GIVE YOU THE GOODEST GOOD ONES. AND NONE OF THE BADS. ALMOST DROPPED 'EM. ON THE WAY IN. BUT CAUGHT THEM WITH THE GROUND. DUSTED OFF. VERY SHINY.
@caliBorn I noticed you followed me and I saw your face and you really remind me of these two skeleton siblings I saw around Hometown!
YES. WHY DON'T YOu RuB IT IN MY FACE. THAT MY SKELETON SIBLING. AKA. MY SISTER. IS FuCKING DEAD. DO NOT. COMPARE ME. TO A PAIR OF BONY ASS SKELETONS. I AM ROYALTY. GuARD YOuRSELF AGAINST SuCH STuPID THOuGHTS IN THE FuTuRE. SO THAT YOu DO NOT HAVE THEM. I AM A FuCKING CHERuB. NOT A SKELETON. A LORD OF TIME. NOT A WASTE OF TIME. I AM THE ONE WHO WILL PAINT ALL OF SPACE AND TIME IN MY OWN MASTERPIECE OF SISTERLY EXSANGuINATED BLOOD AND BuLLETS RIPPED THROuGH THE FLIMSY FABRIC OF REALITY. AND YOu HAVE THE AuDACITY. THE SHEER uNMITIGATED GALL. TO SAY I REMIND YOu OF TWO GOOFY FuCK SKELETON SIBLINGS CHuMMING IT uP. AROuND HOMETOWN. THESE BAGLESS BAGS OF BONES. SKuLK IN SIMMERING SIMPLETON THOuGHTS ABOuT. PLOTTING THEIR OWN IRRELEVANCE. ACCOMPLISHING FuCKALL IN A WIDER NARRATIVE. HAH. LAuGHABLE. I SEE YOu HAVE FOLLOWED ME ALSO. DO NOT MISTAKE MY TOLERANCE OF YOuR PRESENCE FOR A KIND OF. KINSHIP. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. WE ARE NOT CLOSE ALLIES. WE DO NOT EVEN KNOW ONE ANOTHER BEYOND THE BASEST NuGGATORY ALLOTMENT OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. FOR COINCIDENTAL PROXIMITY IN THE SPACE TIME CONTINuuM. I AM A CREATIVE. AN ARCHITECT. A BuILDER OF REALITY uPON REALITY uPON MANIFOLD OF ALL THINGS. I AM HE WHO COMMANDS EVERYTHING AT THE APEX OF EXISTENCE. NO ONE COMES CLOSE. BECAuSE I WOuLD NOT ALLOW IT.
Awh jeez, I didn't mean to offend you! Also, I'm so so sorry I didn't know your sibling died? Fuck, Now I feel bad... I'm sorry Mr. Cherub man! I didn't know Cherubs looked like you? Also, I know we're not friends! I just thought it was interesting to follow you back! You seem interesting!
NOT TAKE PERSONAL. UH. LEAVE. BOSS JUST SAD SOMETIME. OTHER TIME. HAPPY BOSS. NONE COMPARE TO BOSS. HE LET ME HIT PEOPLE. THAT KIND OF HOW GOOD PERSON BOSS IS. DEEP DOWN INSIDE. BUT ALSO OUTSIDE. ALL SIDES BOSS IS GOOD.
Oh! is this your boss? Please let him know I didn't mean to upset him if he's sad! I genuinely feel bad.. But I'm glad he's a good person... If he lets you hit people?