Seymor Coblof

@companyCacophony

CLOURTMO CO.™’S #1 DESK JOCKEY! 𓂃✍︎

Blood: BronzeAge: 21 years9.7 sweepsKult Score: 577Kull Score: 66214 followers 16 following

♥ liked ♠ hated ♦ pitied ♣ mediated

ORIGINAL CHITTS|REPLIES

@companyCacophony[CC]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A TROLL SO ROTTED IN THE PAN IT MAKES YOU SICK? THIS IS WHAT MY BULBS HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO FOR THE LAST EXCRUCIATING TEN MINUTES! I AM GOING TO THINK ABOUT BETTER THINGS! SUCH AS A FRESH SLEEVE OF STAPLES! OR A BRAND NEW BALLPOINT PEN! MUCH BETTER! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +10

Total: 10

@companyCacophony[CC]

OKAY! THAT GUY’S OFF HIS ROCKER! THAT’S ENOUGH CHITTR FOR TOLIGHT! I AM GOING TO RETURN TO BEING GAINFULLY EMPLOYED! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

WOW HI CHITTR I CANNOT SLEEP SO I’M JUST GOING TO CHECK AND S HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BEETLES UNDER MY DERMIS! WHAT! IF THEY’RE GONNA LIVE THERE THEY BETTER BE PAYING RENT! #VAGUEPOST 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +35

Kull: +30

Total: 65

Ratio: 1.17

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

ssccaarr yy, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

I DON’T THINK THEY’RE ACTUALLY THERE! I THINK THE GUY SPEWING THAT NONSENSE IS JUST CERTIFIABLE! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

ii ssttiillll ddoonntt , lliikkee tthhee vviissuuaall ,, eeuugghh, hh, iittcchhyy , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

YOU SHOULD VISUALIZE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD! LIKE A NEATLY FILED QUARTERLY REPORT! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

hhff, yyeess, tthhiiss iiss mmuucchh bbeetttteerr, , , ii wwiillll, aallssoo tthhiinnkk aabboouutt mmyy, mmeettiiccuulloouussllyy oorrggaanniizzee dd, nnootteess, ,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

YES! THIS IS THE WAY! BUSINESS-MINDED IS HOW IT OUGHT TO BE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

WHY ARE WE ALL TALKING ABOUT TRAUMA? I DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A NIGHT FOR THIS! THAT COULD NEVER BE ME! MY EMPLOYERS PUT ME IN THE DISCIPLINE HOLE WHEN I MESSED UP AND I TURNED OUT FINE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +7

Kull: +2

Total: 9

Ratio: 3.50

@companyCacophony[CC]

THE PRODUCTS CLOURTMO CO.™ MAKES ARE TOP NOTCH, I’M TELLING YOU! I REALLY WISH I COULD AFFORD THEM! I’VE BEEN SAVING UP! SEEING THOSE SHINY NEW HUSKTOPS IN THE DISPLAY WINDOW NEARLY HAS ME SALIVATING ALL OVER MY CUBICLE! ONE NIGHT IT WILL BE MINE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +17

Total: 17

@companyCacophony[CC]

I FINISHED DIGGING MY PERSONAL DISCIPLINE HOLE! IT TOOK ALL LIGHT, AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR WORK! I’M SO TIRED, BUT IT’S NOTHING FIVE CUPS OF CAFFEINATED BROWN SLUDGE CAN’T FIX! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +7

Total: 7

@companyCacophony[CC]

I’M ALWAYS DROPPING NOTES INTO THE SUGGESTION BOX SAYING THAT THEY SHOULD INVEST IN MANUFACTURING SMART MICROWAVES, BUT SO FAR IT HASN’T STUCK! I’M NOT UPSET THOUGH! I’M JUST A LOWLY DESK JOCKEY! IT WOULD BE A PRIVILEGE FOR MY LITTLE SUGGESTION TO BE CONSIDERED BY THE TROLLS ON TOP! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +7

Kull: +5

Total: 12

Ratio: 1.40

@companyCacophony[CC]

I THINK I’M GOING TO DIG MY OWN PERSONAL DISCIPLINE HOLE OUTSIDE OF MY HIVE! FOR WHENEVER I MAKE MISTAKES OFF THE CLOCK! I HAVE TO HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE, AFTER ALL! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +27

Kull: +19

Total: 46

Ratio: 1.42

venture caspertalist

@chillerAficionado[CA]

Man.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

vveerryy ssmmaarr tt,, ttoo ddoo , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

YES! IT’S COMING ALONG NICELY, TOO! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

MY COWORKER IS WHINING ABOUT “BOOHOO OUR SUPERIOR ASKED ME TO LICK HIS BOOTS!” OKAY? AND? START LICKING! LUCKY BASTARD! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +65

Kull: +55

Total: 120

Ratio: 1.18

venture caspertalist

@chillerAficionado[CA]

Man

Kult: +12

Total: 12

@superiorManagement[SM]

More trolls need to be like you𝐿𝑒𝓍𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝐸𝓋𝒾𝒾𝓃𝓉

Kult: +5

Kull: +5

Total: 10

Ratio: 1.00

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

They have you beat like a hound. I hope you get to feeling better.

↩ @superiorManagement[SM]

@companyCacophony[CC]

I COULDN’T AGREE MORE, SIR! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +2

Total: 2

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

YEAH, ME TOO! MAYBE I’LL FEEL BETTER WHEN IT’S MY TURN TO DO THE LICKING! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

You're too cute to be a work chud 😔 </3

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

WORK CHUD? I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT! DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, BUT IF IT’S WORK ANYTHING, IT HAS TO BE GOOD! 𓂃✍︎

@avariceConglomerate[AC]

Exa€tly the attitude I'm looking for, honestly.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @avariceConglomerate[AC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

WELL THEN I HOPE ALL OF YOUR CURRENT AND FUTURE EMPLOYEES BRING THIS ENERGY TO THE PROVERBIAL TABLE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

WERE I A LESS DIGNIFIED TROLL, I WOULD HAVE STARTED CHUGGING STRAIGHT FROM THE COMMUNAL CAFFEINATED BROWN SLUDGE POT AGES AGO! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

I DIP MY OBLONG MEAT PRODUCTS INTO MY CAFFEINATED BROWN SLUDGE FOR MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY! NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE FUEL TO START THE NIGHT! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +85

Kull: +80

Total: 165

Ratio: 1.06

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@theolepsyCabaret[TC]

CONSIDER·THIS· FECAL·=·FVNNY THERE·IT·IS·LITERALLY·THAT·SIMPLE·THIS·IS·SCHOOLFEEDING·LEVEL·SHIT

↩ @theolepsyCabaret[TC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

CONSIDER THAT YOU ARE WRONG AND COMEDY IS SUBJECTIVE! EXCEPT FOR YOUR COMEDY, WHICH SO FAR HAS PROVEN TO BE EXCEEDINGLY UNFUNNY! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@theolepsyCabaret[TC]

COMEDY·IS·COMPLETELY·OBIECTIVE·AND·IT·IS·MY·MOTHERFVCKING·BIRTHRIGHT·TO·DEEM·IT·SO· #OVNAGE·VPON·YE

↩ @theolepsyCabaret[TC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

DID YOU PERHAPS FALL ON YOUR HEAD AS A WRIGGLER? OR MAYBE IT WAS MORE RECENT? 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@theolepsyCabaret[TC]

MY·HORNS·ARE·TOO·LARGE·THEY·VOVLD·HAVE·SOFTENED·THE·BLOV·VERE·SVCH·A·THING·TO·HAPPEN· I·SVPPOSE·YOV·CANNOT·RELATE·VITH·YOVR·SHRIMP·HORNS

↩ @theolepsyCabaret[TC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

OH I SEE! LARGE HORNS AND SMALL THOUGHTSPONGE AS OPPOSED TO SMALL HORNS AND LARGE THOUGHTSPONGE! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@theolepsyCabaret[TC]

ON·THE·CONTRARY·THEY·DO·NOT·CORRELATE

↩ @theolepsyCabaret[TC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

USUALLY I WOULD AGREE, BUT IN OUR CASES IT SEEMS THEY DO! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@theolepsyCabaret[TC]

THAT·IS·NOT·HOV·IT·FVCKING·VORKS·YOV·VACVOVS·SIENNA·CVNT

↩ @theolepsyCabaret[TC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

OH! WHAT’S THAT? I THINK I HEARD THE BUZZING OF SOME MISERABLE LITTLE FLY THAT I WILL NOW BE DISREGARDING! THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE TOP TEN MOST USELESS CONVERSATIONS I HAVE EVER HAD! 𓂃✍︎

Kull: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

CLOURTMO CO.™ HAS THIS METHOD OF DISCIPLINE WHERE IF YOU’RE A FAILURE, THEY PUT YOU IN THE HOLE! COMPLETELY DARK, NOTHING AROUND, NOWHERE TO GO, AND THEY DROP SLOP INTO IT NOW AND THEN TO KEEP YOU FED! IT DOES WONDERS FOR PUTTING LACKLUSTER EMPLOYEES AND TWO-BIT SLACKERS BACK IN LINE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +30

Kull: +20

Total: 50

Ratio: 1.50

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

ssccaarryy, bb, bbuutt pprroobbaabbllyy, aa ggoooodd lleeaarrnniinngg eexxppeerriieenncc ee , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

INDEED IT IS! I ADMIT, I WAS PUT IN THE HOLE A FEW TIMES WHEN I WAS JUST STARTING OUT! EMBARRASSING, I KNOW! BUT I HAVEN’T MADE ANY BLUNDERS LIKE THOSE SINCE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

mmaayybbee,, iitt wwaass,, aa ggoooodd tthhiinngg mmaakkiinngg tthhee mmiissttaakkeess tthheenn,, aanndd lleeaarrnniinngg, ssoo yyuuoo ddoonntt mmaakkee tthheemm, nnooww, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

RIGHT YOU ARE! THE LESSON HAD TO BE LEARNED AT SOME POINT! I’M JUST GLAD THEY WERE ABLE TO WHIP ME INTO SHAPE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@companyCacophony[CC]

WOAH! BEEN SEEING A LOT OF #NSFW POSTING TONIGHT! BAH! WHY ARE YOU GRINDING ON EACH OTHER WHEN YOU COULD BE GRINDING OUT ANOTHER REPORT AT YOUR JOBS? 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +112

Kull: +80

Total: 192

Ratio: 1.40

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

REALLY? SOUNDS AWFUL! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

Maybe to you. Maybe I'll invite you over and see that it's not so bad

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

SORRY, CAN’T! I’M TOO BUSY BEING EMPLOYED! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

Need yourself a weekend. My farm is my employment. I'm just my own boss. :)

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

DO YOU MEAN A WIPEEND? CAN’T, I’M EMPLOYED ON THOSE NIGHTS TOO! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

Of course, yes a wipeend. Just be careful pal, I'd hate to see a nice man like yourself get totally burnt out.

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

I COULD NEVER GET BURNT OUT! I’M JUST TOO GOOD! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

Bellboy Derrick

@laidbackRanchhand[LR]

I'll hold you to that, partner.

↩ @laidbackRanchhand[LR]

@companyCacophony[CC]

I’LL HOLD MYSELF TO IT AS WELL! CAN’T BE CAUGHT SLACKING! AND ALSO IF I DO SLACK THEY PUT ME IN THE HOLE! 𓂃✍︎

Interesting.

@companyCacophony[CC]

I GIVE 110% FOR MY EMPLOYERS! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO JUMP, I ASK HOW HIGH! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO STAY AND WORK OVERLIGHT, I DO IT! IF THEY ASK ME TO BARK, I DROP TO ALL FOURS AND WAG MY PROVERBIAL TAIL! NOBODY IN THIS COMPANY DOES IT LIKE I DO! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +69

Kull: +50

Total: 119

Ratio: 1.38

Goofus & Galant Ganduh

@goombahGooselikely[GG]

This feꝈꝈa gets it! Keep ôn miniôn-ing paꝈ!

『犠牲の子羊 || DAMARA MEGIDO 』

@aienkanoAhegao[AA]

ブーツの革ってどんな味がするんだろう？

↩ @goombahGooselikely[GG]

@companyCacophony[CC]

THAT’S A WEIRD WORD FOR WORKING! BUT I’LL DO IT ANYWAY! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

ii wwoouulldd, rreecchhiitttt tthhiiss,, bbuutt ii ddoonntt wwaanntt ttoo ss tteeaall yyoouurr tthhuunnddeerr,, pplluuss, ii tthhiinnkk,,, ii aamm nnoott aass ggoooodd aass yyoouu aatt,, mmoosstt tthhiinngg ss,,, ii tthhiinnkk ddeessppiittee mmyy eeffffoorrtt,, mmyy oouuttppuutt iiss cclloosseerr ttoo,,, 60%,, , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

Kult: +4

Total: 4

↩ @aienkanoAhegao[AA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

I HOPE I GET TO FIND OUT SOMEDAY! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +2

Total: 2

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

HEY, CHIN UP! THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT! AND RECHIT AWAY! THERE’S NO THUNDER TO BE STOLEN! JUST A COUPLE OF DILIGENT WORKERS! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

ookkaayy , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@superiorManagement[SM]

As it should be Keep up the good work -𝐿𝑒𝓍𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝐸𝓋𝒾𝒾𝓃𝓉

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @superiorManagement[SM]

@companyCacophony[CC]

THANK YOU SIR! I WILL SIR! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +7

Total: 7

@companyCacophony[CC]

I HAVE AT LEAST THREE CUPS OF CAFFEINATED BROWN SLUDGE IN ME AT ALL TIMES! IT IS HOW I STAY ON TOP OF MY TASKS! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +12

Kull: +10

Total: 22

Ratio: 1.20

@damascusDoctorate[DD]

HAVE YOU TRIED CONDENSING ALL THREE CUPS INTO ONE PARTICULARLY POWER-PACKING SINGULAR CUP FOR GREATER EFFICIENCY?

↩ @damascusDoctorate[DD]

@companyCacophony[CC]

NO! MY CUP IS SADLY NOT LARGE ENOUGH! IT WOULD SLOSH AND SPILL ALL OVER AND I WOULD BE A MISERABLE ONE-CUP CHUMP! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +2

Total: 2

@companyCacophony[CC]

HAHA! WOW! SO MANY KEEN BUSINESSTROLLS HERE! IT HAS ME QUIVERING IN MY COMPANY-MANDATED BUTTON-UP! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +65

Kull: +55

Total: 120

Ratio: 1.18

@croesusKingpin[CK]

[AH HA, I LIKE YOU.]

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @croesusKingpin[CK]

@companyCacophony[CC]

WELL SIR I’M GLAD TO HEAR IT AND IN FACT SIR I COULD JUMP FOR JOY! BUT I WON’T, BECAUSE THAT WOULD DISRUPT THE WORKFLOW! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +10

Total: 10

@resplendentCandour[RC]

◌ Glad to hear it! ⧂

Kult: +5

Total: 5

venture caspertalist

@chillerAficionado[CA]

Man.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @resplendentCandour[RC]

@companyCacophony[CC]

GLAD TO BE HERE SIR! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @chillerAficionado[CA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

HOW CLEVER! YOU’VE WORKED YOUR NAME INTO YOUR CAREERPATH! 𓂃✍︎

H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

@dutifulAssistant[DA]

iitt iiss ggoooodd,, ttoo bbee aammoonngg,,,, ttrroollllss ooff aa ffaammiilliiaarr, sseennssiibbiilliittyy,,, aass ttoo tthhoossee,,, iinn tthhee ABG INC. ooffffiiccee , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @dutifulAssistant[DA]

@companyCacophony[CC]

YES, AND LIKEWISE BUT WITH CLOURTMO CO.™! SO MANY DILIGENT AND SAVVY WORKERS HERE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@croesusKingpin[CK]

[AH RIGHT, NOW THAT'$ THE #ORPORATE $PIRIT YOUR MANAGER$ AND BO$$E$ WANT FROM YOU.]

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @croesusKingpin[CK]

@companyCacophony[CC]

AND I’M HAPPY TO GIVE IT! 𓂃✍︎

@companyCacophony[CC]

ANY FELLOW BUSINESS-MINDED TROLLS HERE? SOUND OFF! HUZZAH! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +15

Kull: +10

Total: 25

Ratio: 1.50

One day I hope to be back on my trading vessel. On a personal quest at the moment.

↩ @setSail[SS]

@companyCacophony[CC]

QUEST AWAY! YOUR BUSINESS VENTURES AWAIT YOU! 𓂃✍︎

@companyCacophony[CC]

HELLO! I AM HERE ON BEHALF OF MY BELOVED COMPANY CLOURTMO CO.™! WE PRODUCE THE BEST HUSKTOPS, PALMHUSKS, HUSKPADS, AND SMARTFRIDGES CAEGAR CAN BUY! YOU WANT IT, WE MAKE IT! AS LONG AS IT IS A HUSKTOP, PALMHUSK, HUSKPAD, OR SMARTFRIDGE! 𓂃✍︎

Kult: +22

Kull: +22

Total: 44

Ratio: 1.00

@yesterdaysPacifist[YP]

I like that smart fridges are a universal constant. Such stupid things.

↩ @yesterdaysPacifist[YP]

@companyCacophony[CC]

STUPID! BAH! THOSE ARE THE WORDS OF A SIMPLETON! THEY HAVE GREAT UTILITY! LIKE KEEPING YOUR FOOD COLD! AND HAVING AN ON-FRIDGE TOUCHSCREEN TO HELP MANAGE YOUR FOOD! OR DISPLAY DIGITAL PHOTOS OF WHATEVER CRAYON DOODLE WAS GOING TO BE ERRONEOUSLY STUCK THERE WITH A MAGNET! 𓂃✍︎

↩ @companyCacophony[CC]

@yesterdaysPacifist[YP]

See, I had to travel to a universe where I could just buy a simple, dumb fridge because they stopped selling those at the one I frequented. I don't need all that. I just need to keep my food cold or frozen.

↩ @yesterdaysPacifist[YP]

@companyCacophony[CC]

SUIT YOURSELF! IF YOU’RE CONTENT WITH MEDIOCRITY THAT’S YOUR BUSINESS! 𓂃✍︎