Jane Crocker
@gutsyGumshoe
CEO. Maid of Life. Opinions expressed herein are my own and do not represent the official views or policies of the organization with which I am affiliated. Status: Out of office.
Go Go Gadget, buttplug. #tw-suggesti*veᛝ
Grievous misuse of the good Inspector's silhouette.
unknow me unmeet me unnotice me unlike me untalk to me unlook in my direction unknow me
Done.
Cheese, Sprite, Butter Pecan.
Your AI image generator is looking a little rough, dearie. Might I suggest upgrading to OpenHeiress?
I can agree that this is not the best, but hey. It's just a silly little vignette for engagement.
No interest in a 30-day free trial?
I sense a portion of you are too flip with your use of the term "motherfucker." You skittish jokers aren't even the motherapproacher, much less the mothercourter. You couldn't look the mother in the eye, much less the crack. #MotherNothinger
I find it interesting to see what terms seem to be a universal constant. Like this one, though we'd say 'all-motherf**ker'.
Point out the mother willing to be seduced by a big strong woman and I'll be there courting her in a heartbeat. [ Posted from Veery's NeuroLink Comms Unit! Message label: #halfjoking #butstillwordsarejustwords #letfolkssaythem ]
Do I look like the motherbroker to you? Curate your own cooter, missy. It is YOUR JOB to venture out into the brush. Bush? #NSFW
Did you censor that manually.
I. Well yes. Why?
Motherfriender
aM i, a POTENTIAL MOTHERFUCKER?
This one has potential.
Nothing. You tickle me.
Oh, lord.
📍Women in pre$$ed pant$📍📍📍📍girl📍📍📍 let me know📍📍📍📍what $tarch you u$e📍📍*lip bite* haha im jk im jk!
The formula on Earth-C is private label to my own business enterprise, but in my youth, my father was partial to the Niagara brand aerosol laundry starch!
In the #TrollKingdom. Just had Grand Highburger for the first time. My organs are in absolute medical distress.
Just wizard zap them better.
Well, yes, obviously.
Average interaction with @aspiringPessimist:
Would You Like An Autograph?
Certainly! Do let me know if you happen upon any noteworthy individuals.
It Took You Five Whole Minutes To Come Up With That? #snark #lol
LORD, yes, you got me. I replied five minutes later, therefore I MUST have been hunched over my monitor and utterly stumped as to how to defend myself against your scathing remarks. For a meager cog in the intergalactic conquest machine, you sure do seem to forget most adults have jobs.
Oh dear, you are mid-workday and you are still choosing to take time out of your oh so busy schedule to squabble online with me? What an honor. Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite troll bella hadid. #reference #snark #snark #snark
Who is Bella Hadid.
Concept: We Have Sex And When We Are Done I Turn To A Notebook With Your Name Written At The Top Of The Page And Write Down " 2/10 ". I Promptly Go To Sleep. #nsfw #nsfc
Reinforced the legs of your nightstand with the heft of that tome, did you.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CINEMANIACS. THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS, LEADER OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB, HERE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THIS WIPE'S #ABCC #WATCHPARTY WILL BE: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL (2003). LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT PIRATES OF THE FUCKING CARIBBEAN. IT IS MORE THAN THE RICH VEIN OF MEMEABLE CONTENT SO MANY HAVE MADE IT OUT TO BE. MORE THAN HUMAN DISNEYSLOP. MORE THAN THE AGREEABLE, PALATABLE, FUN FOR THE WHOLE HIVEHOLD SHIT IT MIGHT SOUND LIKE COMPARED TO SOME OF OUR OTHER PICKS. AND AS IF IT NEEDED ANY MORE ENDORSEMENT, IT'S FAR MORE THAN A FLICK FULL OF HOT PEOPLE IN FLOWY OUTFITS DUELING IT OUT IN SWORD FIGHTS CHOREOGRAPHED BY THE SAME POET OF THE BLADE WHO DID THE FIGHT SCENES IN THE PRINCESS BRIDE — THE LEGENDARY HUMAN BOB ANDERSON. IT IS MORE THAN ALL OF THESE THINGS. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN IS ONE OF THE MOST EPIC ROMANCES EVER PUT TO THE SCREEN. IT'S ABOUT FREEDOM. FREEDOM TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES. TO CHART YOUR OWN COURSE. TO HEAR SOMEONE TELL YOU TO "KNOW YOUR PLACE" AND GIVE THEM THE FAT, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB AND A WELL-DESERVED "UP YOURS, ASSHOLE." ABOUT THE FREEDOM TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE, AND TO LOVE WHO YOU LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT THE RULES SAY. HANG THE CODE, AND HANG THE RULES. THEY'RE MORE LIKE GUIDELINES, ANYWAY. THE ONLY RULES THAT REALLY MATTER ARE THESE — WHAT A TROLL CAN DO, AND WHAT A TROLL CAN'T DO. AND WHAT YOU CAN DO IS RSVP RIGHT FUCKING NOW. THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13 (PUNGENT GRUBSAUCE WITH ENOUGH SPICE TO IT TO CULL A 13 SWEEP-OLD). SHOWTIMES ARE AT 7 PM PST (PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME) EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT [ https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc ]. REMEMBER THAT FRIDAYS ARE OPTIONAL SUBSTANCE NIGHTS. GMT (GHASTLY MIST TIME) SHOWTIMES ARE HOSTED BY CO-LEADER AND CINEMA BALL-KNOWER @creaticGoeticist, SO FOLLOW HIM FOR THE GMT SHOWTIME. RSVP BELOW WITH WHAT DAY YOU WANT TO RESERVE A SEAT FOR. GRAB THEM NOW, WHILE YOU CAN. THESE THINGS FILL UP FAST. REMEMBER: ABCC HAS A SUGGESTION BOX. IF YOU HAVE A MOVIE THAT *YOU* WANT TO WATCH THAT DOESN'T SUCK MAJOR SHAME GLOBES AND CAN BE EVEN *TECHNICALLY* CONSTRUED AS A ROMANCE IN LITERALLY ANY WAY, IN ANY CONCEIVABLE QUADRANT, THEN SUBMIT IT HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. SEE YOU THERE, ASSHOLES. #GETIN.
I'll be there, if there's another slot!
Why won’t anyone feed me. I’m so hungry for black toner. I feel my life slipping away. If you don’t hear from me after this, tell @tipsyGnostalgic#2248 I... Starving_cat_empty_bowl_ink_cartridge_kibble.MOV -Via Chittr for HP Envy All-in-One Printer
Who exactly allowed poor, sweet, dear Funnybunny fall into such wretched disrepair???
I don't think I have a simp. I don't think I /need/ a simp.
You don't require the fawning horde to hold yourself to a higher standard, Belvedere. You have the stuff in your very core to uphold your own esteem!
[BEGIN MESSAGE] in a way. it iz nice tt0 zett|e back int0 tthe wirez. tthey h0|d y0u c0nziztent|y. i |ike tthe prezzure in a weird way. i |ike h0w much fazter my mind iz |ike tthiz tt00. tth0ugh i kn0w tthat iz becauze 0f tthem. becauze inzta||ing me meant ripping my neur0nz apart. and zh0ved c0de int0 tthe gapz tthat were created. z0 tthat n0w. with0ut tthe c0de. my mind m0vez z|0wer. ... it iz nice when it m0vez fazter tthan it ever c0u|d bef0re. #b0dyh0rr0r #he|mta|k [END MESSAGE]
D'aww. @involuntarilyLulzworthy Peer into your future. Frankly, I have had equivalent experiences. You won't regret it. Not once you're plugged, anyhow.
I'M CHITTING THIS UNDER COERCION OF @gutsyGumshoe, CEO OF CROCKERCORP. THIS IS A POLITICAL MOVE TO PAINT ME AS A VILLAIN UNDER THREAT OF LIBEL. THIS MEANS NOTHING. I HATE YOU. BLUH.
Wow!