Jane Crocker
@gutsyGumshoe
CEO. Maid of Life. Opinions expressed herein are my own and do not represent the official views or policies of the organization with which I am affiliated. Status: ERROR.
[ confectionery caking out. ] Good morning. [ ron swanson, a swan song. ]
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!
[ confectionery caking out. ] What? Am I missing some factor that has turned the tides of this morning beyond casual pleasantries? :B [ ron swanson, a swan song. ]
[ confectionery caking out. ] WHAT THE HELL IS FRAMING MY MESSAGES. [ ron swanson, a swan song. ]
OH MY GOD, IT'S LIKE A DEVIOUSART SIGNATURE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ehehehehe, this is fucking g0ld. anonym0us prankster is kinda goated with it.
[ confectionery caking out. ] YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON FROM WHOM I WANT THIS LIP, BUSTER. [ ron swanson, a swan song. ]
perfect time for a whiskey n coke
Separate glasses.
mix like cake batter dawg you should know that
Absolutely not! >:|
kinda blows tto be lonely and bored and also feel like youvve kinda been fundamenttally abandoned on some levvel butt unable tto really putt your finger on how or whatt
Have I missed the breaking news concerning the utter destruction of the journal factory?
Why spend hours pouring yourself into verbiage, when one can simply make visual their adoration? Words wouldn't do my appreciation justice anyway. Necessity is the mother of invention. Thanks for being my first fan, Jane.
Shucks, it was nothing t
WHAT THE HELL????
Whoa, whoa, whoa, You hornless, pale guys are kinda freeekaaayyyy lookin. -- Let's run it back!
HUMPH.
The uninitiated human beings of this platform could say much the same for your ilk!
fat bottom girl you do in fact make the rockin world go round so like for those of yall who aint in the know my home cooking situation was kinda unique in that there fucking wasnt one for like all of my growing up despite that being a very real and important adult skill to have not just sipping room temperature aj and freezer burnt microwaved dishes fuckin big boy stuff so in order to impress the milfmother of all future mother baddies ive secretly started taking lessons and ive gotten pretty nifty with the kitchen cutlery still a bit sloppy in some areas but when i started treating this shit like an art instead of a science i started dropping some isaac newton forehead splitting type revelations i brought the preheat the sick oven fires and when i stopped melting expensive kitchen appliances i began melting minds i.e. dave's own tastebud cunt gigantamaxing flapple appletun gmax grind-to-100-layer cake the tail is a chocolate cake with a three layer mint glaze topped with a berry glaze from a route of your choice layer one is a simple vanilla cake with a raspberry buttercream frosting colored with a pinch of dragonfruit powder super effective just trust the process studded up with lil edible sugar pearls and tapioca layer two is a record setting double up on red velvet cakes held cheek to cheek together with a tart berry jelly of your choice choose this starter ingredient carefully as fuck cause thats the same tart ingredient you take to the championship at the top last layer four heavenly elite four kings crested with apple honey glaze and a tart berry jelly in the center shits your starter so you know its overleveled as fuck maraschino cherries with the same glaze as the tail as a decorative dip trail to taste the eyestalks were waffle crisps with edible sugar pearls fastened their tastebud tickling seatbelts in place with raspberry buttercream frosting mixed with fragrant apple finish
:O ... Dave, I do not even know what to say! You have caught me entirely with my trousers at my ankles. I hadn't the foggiest clue! But it should be no surprise to me that you have thoroughly mastered the decorative aspect of the hobby, given your other artistic inclinations. I can tell by the structural integrity of the thing that you have mastered gauging the density of the sponge relative to the height and weight of the completed product. I can detect no sagging whatsoever. Even layers, a perfect crumb coat, the smooth, oblong shape of the carved tail... And not a lick of fondant (the quitter-baker's vice). I am so proud of you. :'B I would not dare have a meal prepared to preface this most ambitious and gargantuan dessert! In my book, a project of this caliber IS the supper and should be regarded as such. Just where and when may I join you to sample my sweet apple??? ... Meaning the cake, of course. :p
earliest convenience my place now o clock aint got no qualms with bragging that i beat the everloving piss out of the books and safely concluded fondant fucking sucks if it doesnt taste good licking the excess after tools get used its not gonna taste good going onto the thing mad glad you like it though absolutely aimed to please
This would have blown the cardigan straight off Dame Mary Berry's elderly shoulders. I can tell you that much. I am on my way. :B
>O+ CALM DOWN, FAttIES.
I just want to know what it's in reference to.
somepuppy didn’t laugh at their 8ad joke so it’s time for low 8ar insults
Somewhatty.
it’s like a little dog
... Thank you, Nyrita.
@goldenGigabyte -- THIS IS AN AUTOMATED DRONE COURIER DELIVERY NOTICE. PLEASE SIGN FOR RECEIPT. --
this is the cutest motherfucking delivery service by the way is there a way i can tip the drone or at least smooch the ceo 15% that is to say 15% of the ceo covered in smooches hypothetically
The drones are programmed to feel fulfillment at a task well done. The sender, however, appreciates ALL gratuitous gestures. Particularly when administered by a handsome satisfied customer. :B
need to join jane in baking again some time that was fun
I've got the oven all warmed up for you!
aww hell yeah you rock you wanna do something pumpkin spice-y in honor of the burr month
:B ! I would be delighted, actually. I have some recommendations. Where do you stand on cheesecake?
i fucking love cheesecake
Unreal Heiress, supply the recipe for Pumpkin Streusel Cheesecake.
Couldn’t get him to wear a shirt for the cartoon, huh.
He tangled with the design team over the allowance of the pants length and settled finally above the belt.