Jane Crocker
@gutsyGumshoe
CEO. Maid of Life. Opinions expressed herein are my own and do not represent the official views or policies of the organization with which I am affiliated. Status: Out of office.
I sense a portion of you are too flip with your use of the term "motherfucker." You skittish jokers aren't even the motherapproacher, much less the mothercourter. You couldn't look the mother in the eye, much less the crack. #MotherNothinger
Do I look like the motherbroker to you? Curate your own cooter, missy. It is YOUR JOB to venture out into the brush. Bush? #NSFW
aM i, a POTENTIAL MOTHERFUCKER?
If you say so, Miss Crocker. I am happy to have been a source of levity, even if I am a touch confused.
Reminder that taking a break is unacceptable. Your time belongs to your goalpost, not to your selfish and fickle desires. #OverworkYourself #ToughenUp
True and just
In the #TrollKingdom. Just had Grand Highburger for the first time. My organs are in absolute medical distress.
It's just AWFUL food. Not nearly as good as what you can find in the Human Kingdom. Grubsauce is a JOKE.
Average interaction with @aspiringPessimist:
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ LUH FUCKING MAYO get his assssssss ♫
Certainly! Do let me know if you happen upon any noteworthy individuals.
LORD, yes, you got me. I replied five minutes later, therefore I MUST have been hunched over my monitor and utterly stumped as to how to defend myself against your scathing remarks. For a meager cog in the intergalactic conquest machine, you sure do seem to forget most adults have jobs.
Oh dear, you are mid-workday and you are still choosing to take time out of your oh so busy schedule to squabble online with me? What an honor. Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite troll bella hadid. #reference #snark #snark #snark
((we pretend I didn't accidentally tick the lil ooc box down there 🌈🐬))
Gee. We've rocketed from our most grievous faults to our most cherished virtues.
At @therapistofThedeep's request. I don't know that this quiz is accurate. I answered mostly innocuous questions concerning feelings that I would assume EVERYONE has.
I know. Good grief, does your lily-livered facsimile NEVER buck you with even an ounce of stubborn skepticism?
n0, she does. and shes n0t lily-livered. i just dont like the idea 0f some0ne feeling like theyre a bad person because their pan has them thinking s0mething out 0f their contr0l.
Your namesake is in my comment section batting his eyes at me. Don't grow too proud of yourself.
STOP MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP MAKE SENSE IN MY COMMENT SECTION.
I AM MORE THAN CAPABLE OF AND COMFORTABLE WITH OPEN GESTURES OF KINDNESS. HUMANSTYLE. I COULD SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW!
the final tall7 was two (ompliments, one of whi(h was a “7ou’re good be(ause 7ou’re the same as me”, just so 7ou know
Open forum for trollkind to chime in. It's been on my mind lately. Human beings have no framework as to which of their associates they may seek casual conciliatory gestures from. It boils down to how bashful the individual with the feelings is about sharing their thoughts, which I have found to be- IN PERSON, AT LEAST- much less reserved than those too sharp for the cullblock on Alternia. Indeed, it tracks logically to me that you would not advertise your own vulnerabilities except to your most trusted of confidantes! But I think it leads me to this question. Do human beings seem overly-chummy and borderline promiscuous in that department, in comparison?
I was struck 8y the carelessness humans express in outwardly expressing their feelings with genuine vulnera8ility rather than cutting, facetious spins to just a8out anyone who dared ask. Not every troll is the same, 8ut in my corner of the universe, it was standard form to not confide in anyone who didn't 8elong to your quadrants. In short, yes.
overall 1t k1nda depends. the general v1be 1s to keep your weaknesses and strengths close and pr1vate because the more someone else knows, the more l1kely 1t 1s to be used aga1nst you one way or another. 1t can take one sl1p up and one part1cularly bored or vengeful troll to dec1de that that's enough to cull you and get 1t over w1th, blow off some steam, etc... on the other hand, d1splay1ng weakness could do a couple th1ngs 1) 1nv1te someone to f1ght you on purpose to test your l1m1ts, h1gh bloods tend to be more of the ones to do th1s because they can generally get away w1th eas1ly k1ll1ng someone w1thout break1ng a sweat, 2) 1nsp1re camarader1e or a sense of trust amongst those who youll be keep1ng around. th1s works best amongst low and m1d bloods who are l1ke 1n a group together for someth1ng or another
so yeah 1t 1S pretty we1rd to us altern1a-bound trolls that you humans just say that sh1t w1th your whole chest
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- Ɨ♱Σ lƗ|⟨-∊ Ⱥ 75/25 r-∊Ⱥlly, mΩΣ♱ Ⱥr-∊ ȺpprΩȺ☪︎ⴵȺbl-∊, r-∊ȺΣΩnȺbl-∊, lƗ♱♱l-∊ bƗ♱ prΩmƗΣ☪︎uΩuΣ frΩm ♱Ɨm-∊ ♱Ω ♱Ɨm-∊ bu♱ ♱ⴵ-∊r-∊ ☪︎-∊r♱ȺƗnly Ⱥr-∊ ΣΩm-∊ ⴵumȺnΣ 屮ⴵΩ ⴵȺv-∊ mΩr-∊ Ωf Ⱥ ru♱ⴵl-∊ΣΣ nȺ♱ur-∊ lƗ|⟨-∊ ♱ⴵȺ♱ fΩund Ωn Ⱥl♱-∊rnƗȺ. -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
you humans are way nicer to each other on average than trolls, and way more open. llike, im p lloosey goosey with stuff for a troll, but thats bc im a sociall aberration compared to the standard. most trolls do NOT share that shit with anyone other than quads, or VERY cllose friends.
i mean. i’m unusuall7 open at this point, but that doesn’t mean to the average alternian 7ou wouldn’t be seen as weird. or, humans in general. 7ou spe(ifi(all7 operate (loser to alternian norms
7ou keep things (lose to 7our (hest. 7ou keep a tight leash on ever7thing in 7our power. 7ou show mu(h less vulnerabilit7 than an7one else. 7ou seem to have less friends as 7ou do hangers on and subordinates, and the friends 7ou do 7ou seem to keep at arm’s length. the one moment i saw 7ou do an7thing romanti( {at the felt opening} was expli(itl7 false to get ba(k at someone. i’m not super (lose to 7ou, but from an outsider’s perspe(tive? that imperial trident badge fits 7ou
WHAT THE HELL? ... I'll be candid. I didn't know you were paying attention that closely. Or that anyone else could see that through the security perimeter at the shindig. :| I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF TENDER GESTURES. OPEN, HUMAN ONES.
it didn’t take that deep a dive, honestl7. or mu(h peeking, at that point 7ou two were the fo(us of the part7. i’m glad to hear if i did go deeper i would see the humanit7!
I HAD BRACES TWICE. THEY'RE NOT MISALIGNED. THEY'RE JUST LARGE. I'm going to bed. Forget this.
OH·MESSIAHS·IT·IS·A·BLASPHEMER THE·MORTARS·VILL·TVRN·YOV·TO·A·PASTE· BACK·BACK·I·SAY
AIN'T NO BLASPHEMY HERE MY BROTHER. all this is is a man and his special one. AND YOU IN THE WAY. so time for you to turn into clown chow. DO NOT BE AFRAID. you will live on in my mother fucking belly. FOR A TIME.
OH·MY·VORD·YVCK·YVCK·YVCKIE I·VILL·BE·TAKING·THAT·PVRPLE·STAINED·EDIBLE·ARRANGEMENT·FROM·YOVR·HONEYCOMBED·CORPSE·THANK·YOV·VERY·MVCH·YVM #gore
I·VILL·NOT·BE·TRYING·ANYTHING·IT·VILL·BE·THE·RATATATAING·OF·MVLTIPLE·CONCEALED·AVTOMATIC·TVRRETS
i'm already in your walls. GUNS AIN'T GONNA KEEP YOU FROM ME BRINGING YOUR HORNS ON A NECKLACE TO MY LADY. nothing personal man but you know a brother will do anything for a cookie.
I·KNOV·YOV·ARE·LOST·IN·BOTH·SAVCE·AND·SAVCY·ENDEAVORS IT·IS·PITIFVL·IN·A·VAY BVT·YOV·MVST·BE·PVT·DOVN·FOR·THE·GOOD·OF·THE·FAITH
You people make a girl NEVER want to get her derp on.
i LOVE, yOUR DERP jANE, yOU ARE A BONAFIDE, dERPINA, eVEN,
dont let others not let u be as derpy as u want
I've never seen a lady make this face before~. You must be one of a kind~~~~.
SIGH. ALRIGHT. YOU DID IT. YOU MANAGED TO CONJURE A PSYCHOMEMETIC WORM AND FIRE IT LIKE A BULLET INTO THE DEEPEST CONVOLUTIONS OF MY DUSTY OLD THINKPAN WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR STUPID, ELASTIC EXPRESSION PLATE. IT'S ALREADY WRITHING BACK INTO THE TYPESTUB CONTROLS IN MY MOTOR CORTEX, COMPELLING ME TO SAY THIS. OLD INTERNET COMPILATION RERUN WHEN.
so fierce .. nargh (thats the SOUNd i think that face makes)
Just as soon as you're ready to endure another eight hour stint locked in a chatroom with me!
Hektor, I don't know if this is the time or the place any longer. You're married.
Thank you, Chittr, for your many interdimensional connections. I've gotten into the habit of importing Old Alternian cosmetics on-planet for my own personal use. There is simply something undeniable about that formula. And per the box, it's Cruelty Guaranteed!
OFFICIAL (personal) ANNOUNCEMENT! I will be entering an undisclosed period of combat training with @insufferablePrick. Outside the traditional chronology, that is. Which means that one of these days I will simply have already done it. Still working on the appropriate date on the calendar to not-pencil it in. So consider this my preemptive farewell from the Hyperbolic Time Chamber! Ta!! :B
Songbird Sootnose is onto something with the whole #WomanSupremacy business. Has anyone looked into that, Terranside?
testimony: nonbinary supremacy is inevitable 🤙
I was Vicepresident for a bit? And the cabinet was mostly comprised of women so. There's that.
(( hello frien, who did you get your pride flag from? i'm sluething out badges
2O YOU MADE YOUR2ELF A MATR1ARCHY, JU2T L1KE THE ONE UNDER OUR GLOR1OU2 1MPER1OU2 CON2TERNAT1ON! GREAT JO6!
I am NOT fluently woke enough to navigate the can of worms you just dumped unceremoniously into my comment section. I said what I said.
((Any mod can dole out badges, but it's mostly @imJunior who gets that job done.
Happy #MaidMonday! A reminder that any dress that I have chosen to don automatically meets the qualifications of a "Maid dress," the way any hat on a cowboy is by technicality a cowboy hat. It's the Maid that makes the duds, not the other way around. @apocalypseArisen#9804 @genetrixAdvocate @grandioseSaturation
1 2UPPO2E 1F YOURE A REAL 61GW1G 6U21NE22 6ROAD YOU CAN WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT! PHOOEY TO ME 1F YOURE W1LL1NG TO KEEP THE MA1D 2CHT1CK AT YOUR LEVEL.
I'm not a doggone housemaid. I'm Maid steward and guardian over the raw creative force of Life. It has nothing to do with socioeconomic position or gender dynamic. Also, I am a real fan of your posts in general. #WomanSupremacy
1F THAT2 WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL 1T! YOUR WORK 12NT TOO 2HA66Y YOUR2ELF, L1TTLE M122 OFF-COLOR! 1T2 WOMEN L1KE U2 THAT 2HOW THE "GLA22 CE1L1NG" 12 MORE L1KE PLA2T1C WRAP. #WOMAN2UPREMACY
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Wait true #maidsolidarity #maidmondaygonnabeeasiernow #thanksforthetip
You make me proud of my Class, Miss Crocker. Happy Maid Monday.
In honor of the destruction of the Journal Factory, here's a personal tidbit pasted to the wall for the whole of the multiverse to see. A RANKING OF WHICH CREATORS HAVE LET ME DOWN THE MOST MISERABLY. ENJOY!
You'll never catch me alive.
Ugh, you know what???????? I can't even fault you for this. I really need to up my game and get my irons 8ack into the fire!
oh fuck yea littlest expectations leave the biggest room for improvement im on that roderick diary of a wimpy kid grind from the bottom reaches of the furthest hells a single leap can clutch a pearl bead from the ceiling of heaven that part wasnt diary of a wimpy kid just so we are clear that was a fortune cookie from wok this way shout out to mr shou your general tsos chicken and rice was life changing and your handmade fortune cookies were like so quotable
Get with me on how precisely you may best do that.
You are kidding. They did not destroy it again. After all the effort I went to to manipullate I mean encourage young Nitram to save it. @adiosToreador Expllain
it pays to be a team player evveryone
My #Allyship to the LGBT community does, despite popular belief, extend to those other iterations of myself pursuing alternative lifestyles. I mean, I don't necessarily "get" it, but even I can understand that anything is possible in the face of infinity. So this is a post of abject support. I love you, gay-Janes. Boy-Janes. Something-else-Janes. #LGBTQIA #Ally #MePersonally? #StillStraight
Oh, hmmmm! This is a real thinker. Shall I trap myself in a room with the likes of yourself in exchange for some NEBULOUS HYPOTHETICAL INTEL that may or may not benefit me in any way?
Now, who said there couldn't 8e more people present? Truly, you needn't 8e so on edge, miss Crocker. This is more for your 8enefit than it is mine, I assure you.
Perhaps she enjoys the public spectacle? I've known more than a couple trolls like that, was happy to oblige.
yOU ARE PROVIDING SUCH A GOOD, eXAMPLE FOR YOUR CHILD,
LAWL what abt my friend janey who is a pre-law major
That definitely counts as an alternative lifestyle in my book, so sure!
MORE PERSONAL CONFESSIONS FOR THE INTERDIMENSIONAL POPULACE AT LARGE! GREAT! THIS HANKY-PANKY IS ALL HUNKY DORY TO OLD JANE! #ALLY!!! #SEXPOSITIVE!!! At this point, I don't think the journal factory exploded. I believe a number of you banded together and BOMBED it.
Unreal Heiress, hold my calls.
wHY IS YOUR PHONE, sHAPED LIKE BOONBUCKS? oR ARE THOSE, bOONBONDS OR, sOME BOONBULLION, i CAN NEVER KEEP THE, dENOMINATIONS, sTRAIGHT,
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ maybe shes like flexin her cash? ]
this image is so mother fucking fire. THAT I DONE DECIDED TO SPIT SOME HOT SPITBALL POETRY WORD SLAMS AT YOU. to express how i mother fucking feel about it. ahem. THERE ONCE WAS AN HEIRESS SO GRAND. the richest in all the mother fucking lands. STACKING FAT BUCKS AND WITH THE BADDEST FUCKING BUTT. slipping dollars off the top like do he love me do he love me not. GIVING ME THE NASTY CAUSE I MAKE HER LAUGH. whole time you know i'm piping that, hella ass.
OH. Thank you. Much appreciated. You're also a cunt.
thx i think?????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #yay? #cunt
HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO. HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
DO YOu MEAN LITERALLY. BECAuSE IF SO, YOu SHOuLD PROBABLY GET HELP. INSTEAD OF BEING ON CHITTR.
