Jade
@jaDe
( ◕▿◕ ) GASP!!! A fellow wolfgirl... ♫ ( ◕▿◕ ) Awooo!!! ♫
100 kisses from the consorts on my tummy! 100 kisses from rose when im crummy! 100 frogs needed to make earth b. 100 tail wiggles like im a little puppy. 100 fears in her strife with me. 100 timelines you saved for me. 100 jades you left dead within. 100 fails so we couldnt win! 100! 100! 100! 100! #reference #dontlooktoodeeply #barkbark #silly #iprommy #notdeeplore
i am selectively social. do not pet!!!
the winner is you!
genuinely my hero!
yuri day? uhm okay! platonic only!
rough er ruff
₍^. .^₎⟆ *Pats you on the head*꠹
awroo.
by the way none of you warned me about bojack horseman.
yeah i figured that out. i watched like, two seasons and its not getting better and its getting worse and im getting sadder.
im happy as can be, being me.
Okay bro Thanks genuinely I think I've got a lot to think about... I dunno ... Maybe I need to figure myself out bro
of course! im always here to talk! you know who else needs to figure their emotions?
i mean. bark! bark! woof!
fun facts of the day! an einstein-rosen bridge is what people usually mean when they say “wormhole,” even though the original idea was not really a fun sci-fi doorway you can just hop through with a backpack and a dog. einstein and rosen were looking at the math of general relativity, where gravity is not a force pulling things around like a leash, but the shape of spacetime itself. if spacetime can bend around a massive object, then under certain solutions to einstein’s equations, it can also form something like a tunnel connecting two different regions. imagine spacetime like a big stretchy sheet. a normal path from one point to another is like walking across the sheet: a ------------------------ b but if the sheet folds, those points can get closer: a \ \____ tunnel ____ b that tunnel is the einstein-rosen bridge. the classic version comes from the math of a black hole paired with a kind of mirror-object called a white hole. a black hole is something things can fall into but not escape. a white hole, mathematically, is something things can escape from but not enter. the “bridge” is the connection between them. the problem is: in the original theory, the bridge is not traversable. since it pinches shut too fast, you cant actually travel through it! not even light gets through it! so, if you tried to fly through one, youd get obliterated because the universe is a jerk! thats right. the universe sucks! an einstein-rosen bridge is a theoretical spacetime shortcut, predicted by the equations of general relativity, but the original kind is more like a mathematical “hey, this shape can exist” with no practical application. which is rude, but also very physics. but you know, theres probably some stupid exotic matter or negative energy bs or like, i dont know, green sun empowered individuals that could hold that throat open. but like. how would you find one of those?
i never even thought of that! :/ guess im just kind of used to forgetting alternia isnt just a weird sci-fi setting in the far off realms that has like, no impact on me! its so strange to think about sometimes. hardly, really, makes sense!
it just was never useful i guess like how humanstyle aeronautic aviation was essentially unheard of because psionics were much more useful maybe at some point e-r bridges were discovered but they just never bothered to go further with it and it was lost to trivia
ON A PLATFORM INHABITED ON THE DAILY BY A TURD-FLINGING ZOO OF PARADOX SPACE'S MOST FAMOUSLY SCATPANNED SLACK-MANDIBLED JABBERMONKEYS, WHO SHOULD I EXPECT TO DELIVER A SPARKLING NUGGET OF GENUINE FUCKING LEARNING BUT THE FLOWERY GREEN FUCKNUT WHO SOMEHOW MAKES YOUR TAXONOMICALLY DISGUSTING MAMMAL SPECIES FEEL *ALMOST* TOLERABLE TO ME. THE ORIGINAL GREEN THUMB, HERSELF. AND YES, I SAY "THUMB," NOT PRONGSTUMP, OUT OF A FUCKING CRUMB OF BEGRUDGING RESPECT FOR YOUR SPECIES. A CRUMB THAT NOT EVEN A SQUEAKBEAST WOULD NIBBLE ON. BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT, JADE HARLEY. YOU CAN HAVE THAT CRUMB. I WON'T LIE TO YOU. READING THIS BROUGHT THE CORNERS OF MY LIPS HIGHER TO THE CONTEMPTABLE NEAR-SMILE LINE THAN ANYTHING CHITTED ON THIS HELLSITE IN A LONG TIME. WHICH IS MY WAY OF SAYING THAT I'M NOT SMILING. BECAUSE I'M NOT. BUT YOU GOT ME *PRETTY* FUCKING CLOSE. SO TAKE THAT CRUMB, TOO. THERE. THAT'S TWO. I'M BEING SO FUCKING GENEROUS, RIGHT NOW. AND OF ALL THE REASON TO LIKE READING THIS, IT'S THAT IT REMINDS ME OF FLEET ACADEMY SCHOOLFEEDING. THIS IS GOING TO SOUND STUPID AS FUCK, BUT ONE OF MY STRONGEST SUBJECTS WAS ASTROPHYSICS. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRATTLE IT WAS, THE PROPAGANDA ON MY PLANET. IT WOULD HAVE SICKENED YOUR SOFT, WEEPY HUMAN PALATE. OH, *EVERY* ALTERNIAN CITIZEN NEEDS TO LEARN THE BASICS OF INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL, FOR THE DAY THEY SERVE THE FLEET ON A GLORIOUS JOURNEY TO THE EMPIRE'S NEXT EXCITING NEW SYSTEM TO CONQUER AND SUBJUGATE, BLAH, BLAH, YADDA YADDA, KISS THE POSTER OF THE EMPRESS'S SHINY FAT ASS WHEN YOU WALK IN. THAT KIND OF INSUFFERABLE BULLSHIT. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, SOME PARTS OF PHYSICS ARE PRETTY FUCKING COOL. HEY, @grimbarkGuardian. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, THERE. OR AT LEAST GRAZED IT WITH A PATHETIC GLANCING BLOW. FUN FACT ABOUT FTL TRAVEL IN THE ALTERNIAN FLEET. OR AT LEAST, THIS COMES FROM THE SLOP THEY FED US IN THE TEXTSLABS. THERE'S A REASON YOU NEED LEGENDARILY STRONG PSIONICS TO MOVE A SPACESHIP. AND IT'S *NOT* BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF THE SPACESHIP, EVEN THOUGH THAT DEFINITELY PLAYS A PART. IT'S BECAUSE THE THING YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO MOVE ISN'T THE SHIP. YOU FUCKING GUESSED IT. IT'S SPACETIME. I CAN'T SAY I KNOW ALL THE DETAILS MYSELF, GIVEN THAT I'M NOT A FUCKING PSIONIC, BUT I WAS AROUND ONE LONG ENOUGH TO CONNECT THE DOTS. AND WE WERE PRETTY CLOSE. A PSIONIC HAS TO BE ABLE TO "FEEL" OUT WHATEVER HE'S MOVING OR MANIPULATING. MATTER *IS* ENERGY, BECAUSE MATTER IS MADE OF STABLE FREQUENCIES AND ENERGY CAN THEREFORE AFFECT THOSE FREQUENCIES. THEREFORE, THE STRONGER THEIR PSIONICS, THE DEEPER THEIR FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS CAN EXTEND TO OTHER FIELDS OF MATTER. OTHER SUBSTANCES, EVEN ONES THAT YOU HUMANS WOULD CONSIDER THEORETICAL. AND YEAH. THEY CAN TOUCH THE FABRIC OF SPACETIME. THEY CAN GRIP THAT RATTY BLANKET AND YANK IT AROUND. IT CONTRACTS IN FRONT OF THE SHIP AND EXPANDS BEHIND IT. THE SHIP DOESN'T ACTUALLY MOVE AT ALL — SPACE MOVES AROUND *IT.* IT JUST FEELS LIKE FASTER-THAN-LIGHT TRAVEL TO THE AWESTRUCK DUMBFUCKS BEHIND THE HELM WHO ARE REALLY TURNING UP THE DIAL ON THEIR HELMSMAN'S TORMENT NEXUS. WE CALL IT THE ALKYOU BIERRE EFFECT. BUT YOU HUMANS PROBABLY HAVE SOME DUMB-SOUNDING EQUIVALENT NAME FOR IT, I'M SURE. NO, IT'S NOT MAKING A FUCKING EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE, WHICH IS ALSO A STUPID NAME, BY THE WAY. BUT THE KIND OF PSIONICALLY MALFEASANT PAN-DAMAGE YOU'D BE INFLICTING ON YOUR HELMSMAN TO PUNCH A NEW CHITINOUS WINDHOLE THROUGH SPACETIME ITSELF WOULD BASICALLY GUARANTEE THAT YOU NO LONGER HAD A HELMSMAN WHEN YOU WERE DONE. AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE A *PRETTY* STRONG PSIONIC TO EVEN DO THAT MUCH. SO OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ATTEMPTED. ... OFTEN.
⚡︎ ⌁ i ⌁ dont ⌁ often ⌁ talk ⌁ about ⌁ anything ⌁ that ⌁ isn't ⌁ fiduspaWn...but ⌁ this ⌁ is ⌁ the ⌁ most ⌁ cohmerent ⌁ explanation ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ role ⌁ of ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ i've ⌁ seen ⌁ in ⌁ a ⌁ long ⌁ time. ⌁ the ⌁ Way ⌁ i'd ⌁ best ⌁ describe ⌁ it ⌁ is...imagine ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ a ⌁ ball ⌁ on ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ black ⌁ fabric. ⌁ you ⌁ Want ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ but ⌁ you ⌁ can't ⌁ touch ⌁ it. ⌁ so, ⌁ instead, ⌁ you ⌁ take ⌁ the ⌁ corners ⌁ of ⌁ one ⌁ end ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ it ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball, ⌁ then ⌁ pinch ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ upWards ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ rolls ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ it. ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ is ⌁ a ⌁ ship. ⌁ your ⌁ fingers ⌁ are ⌁ a ⌁ helmsman. ⌁ When ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ is ⌁ plugged ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ SLITHR ⌁ (Shifting ⌁ Light ⌁ Inhibiting ⌁ Time ⌁ Holding ⌁ Redshift) ⌁ tentacles, ⌁ they're ⌁ hooking ⌁ their ⌁ thinkpan ⌁ directly ⌁ into ⌁ a ⌁ sensor ⌁ built ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ ship...Watt ⌁ this ⌁ sensor ⌁ does ⌁ is ⌁ essentially ⌁ amplify ⌁ the ⌁ helm's ⌁ reach. ⌁ Think ⌁ of ⌁ it ⌁ like...suddenly ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ these ⌁ big, ⌁ astral ⌁ arms. ⌁ You ⌁ can ⌁ grab ⌁ everything. ⌁ Suddenly, ⌁ you're ⌁ big ⌁ enough ⌁ to ⌁ pinch ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ roll ⌁ the ⌁ ball. ⌁ All ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ to ⌁ do ⌁ is ⌁ ignore ⌁ your ⌁ oWn ⌁ doom ⌁ and ⌁ do ⌁ it. ⌁ No ⌁ matter ⌁ the ⌁ cost. ⌁ ⚡︎
oh wow, i didnt know that last part... wait, no, i totally did, thats the waylon maneuver right????? i remember learning that when i was studying old alternian fleet combat!! that wouldve been the.... tetonian occupation? commander waylon had her helmsman punch a hole to flank the tetonian fleet, turning the tide without any more significant casualties!!! gosh, of COURSE that was an einstein-rosen bridge, how did i never make that connection?? :p anyway this is a really good explanation!!!! science communication is notoriously hard but you got it across just fine :)
UNDULATING ASSGLANDS OF THE FUCKING HIVEMOTHER, THAT TAKES ME BACK. PLAYING ALTERNIAN NAVAL HISTORY TRIVIA WITH A *HUMAN?* THIS REALLY IS THE OUTER RIM OF PARADOX SPACE WE'RE TAP-DANCING ON, HERE. THE WAYLON MANEUVER IS ONE OF THOSE HOTLY CONTESTED PIECES OF FLEET HISTORY THAT GETS PASSED AROUND LIKE A BAKED HOT TUBER. MOSTLY BECAUSE OF THE THEORETICAL UNCERTAINTY THAT JADE NUMBER ONE (OR JUST JADE, I GUESS) ALREADY OUTLINED. HOLDING THAT BRIDGE'S GAPING ORIFICE OPEN IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. IT'S NOT EVEN EASILY SAID. BLUH. THERE'S SPECULATION THAT THE REASON THAT THE MANEUVER WORKED ISN'T BECAUSE WAYLON OUTFLANKED THE ENEMY FLEET BY GOING *THROUGH* THE BRIDGE, BUT BY HAVING HER HELMSMAN PUNCH THAT THROAT OPEN AS DEEP AS IT COULD GO RIGHT *NEAR* THE SHIP, CLOSE TO THE PURSUING ARMADA. IT WAS LIKE OPENING A FUCKING SINKHOLE RIGHT NEXT TO A BUNCH OF PARKED SCUTTLEBUGGIES. THEY ALL WENT TUMBLING IN ONLY TO SCATTER BACK OUT, WHILE WAYLON'S SHIP SWITCHED TO PROPULSION-BASED MOVEMENT IN ORDER TO USE THE SUDDEN SUPERMASSIVE SPACETIME DISTORTION TO PULL OFF A SLINGSHOT MANEUVER. KIND OF LIKE USING A BLACK HOLE'S DENSITY TO SWING THE SHIP AROUND BACK TOWARDS THE CLOSEST IMPERIAL FORTIFIED ZONE, WHICH MEANT THAT THE SHIP WASN'T CRAWLING BLEARILY THROUGH SPACE WITH A DEAD HELM FOR A HUNDRED FUCKING SWEEPS. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY FOR SURE WHAT HAPPENED ARE THE ONES WHO WERE THERE. AND GIVEN THAT WAYLON HERSELF WAS THE PRIMARY SOURCE, WHO KNOWS IF SHE WAS PULLING THE BRIDGE STORY OUT OF HER WASTE CHUTE, OR IF SHE REALLY WAS ONE OF THE ONLY ONES TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH ON PSIONIC POWER ALONE. COULDN'T TELL YOU. I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW *THAT* FUCKING MUCH. I JUST GREW UP ON THE HOMEWORLD OF AN INTERGALACTIC SUPERPOWER. CULL ME FOR NOT HAVING AN EARTH-EQUIVALENT DOCTORATE, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
s)(e always insisted they made it through the hole but... s)(e wasnt really all there ive realized so i kind of have to question every story she ever told me now ._.
REMIND ME TO PICK YOUR SPONGE ABOUT DEEP SPACE FLEET MANEUVERS, SOMETIME. IF A FUCKLUDICROUSLY POWERFUL HELM CAN PULL OFF THIS KIND OF INSANE SPACETIME NUTFUCKERY, IMAGINE WHAT A JADE HARLEY VARIANT CAN PULL OFF. NOT GONNA LIE. IT WOULD BE COOL TO FIND OUT.
chittr beef! warning! violent!
MOR3 L1K3 HTTPS://F1L3.G4RD3N/4DXXJRDFCBC6CM1W/S1MPSONS_MONK3Y_KN1F3_F1GHT.JP3G
i think with all of the bad dogs out there... i need to be a good dog. i need to help my friends! even if i am basically a brainghost, i know theres ways i can help. i know i can do better and be better!
are there any other good dogs out there???? :(((
plenty! just the loudest ones are really 6oin' throu6h it ri6ht now, seems like...
:c oh nooooo..... but but i promise its only to mean people!!!!! arf!!!! im a good girl i promise jade <33
the worst thing about being dead is the dreambubbles remembers a hidden radio somewhere that only plays swing by trace adkins.
nnenverasksingquesitonsagainihatyeouchittr
it happens to the best of us luckily you have one morwe chance to not be a fool if you fall forw a second time howeverw then you will sufferw catastrwophic gambit loss that will take sweeps to rwecoverw but everwyone gets one so you can walk it off