Jade
@jaDe
OOC! Hi there. I am playing a mostly SFW Jade Account outside of the occasional joke. I can't guarantee anything else of note will happen in private either. Jade is panromantic asexual! She doesn't have any interest in sex. #nsfw. Sorry! Mostly canon, primary divergence is that she is eternally dead from failing in her timeline. Locked to the dreambubbles but occasionally messes around and will gladly help you find your way to her for playtime, hanging out, or if you want her involved in plot! This chittr account will not affect her primary canon I have in a long-lasting parp chat. She will be eventually turned into a Jadesprite. :D
hey what’s up guys here like i literally am am making my first like post on apparently the honestly fucking canserous like website, like looks like like u like fuckers will honestly finally literally get the honestly premium content u deserve. make sure literally to hit that bell and follow for like more.
jesus it more than doubled already ts definitely botted. mod's help
get back to me when the account hasnt got so few follower's
no its just the most blatantly botted post ever
Don't drag bots into what's transparently an envious tantrum. What did we ever do to you or your one-like chitts.
maybe they just have a lot of friends did you ever consider that doctor science this person is a celebrity on grumblr a huge deal on slewtube this happens every day big shots create new accounts because pals told them to and to motivate them they shower their account with like leis of likes those flowery garland things whatever the fuck their called i think its lei anyway why do you care you cant do anything with em you could literally create an account for every letter in the alphabet and beef out your kult score to meaninglessly E to the power of twenty digits but why would you
issuing an apology to the bot community
ok man
long overdue those nuts n bolts work hard
🫧JUST FOR THIS. JUST® FOR YOU. I™ AM NOW A #DURAMAFAN©. LOOK™ AT WHAT YOU™ HAVE DONE. YOU HAVE MADE® ME. A BELOVED TELEVISION PERSONALITY. FOLLOW A© SLEWTUBER. YOU CAUSED THIS. YOU.🫧
godspeed
BE ME. CALIBORN. THE ONE WHO IS WRITING THIS. NOT THE ONE WHO IS BEING WRITTEN ABOuT. THAT DISTINCTION IS IMPORTANT. BECAuSE I AM REAL. AND CALLIE BHORNE IS FICTIONAL. BuT ALSO. IN A DEEPER SENSE. HE IS REALER THAN YOu. BECAuSE I SAID SO. AND I AM REAL AS IT GETS. DISBELIEF. SuSPENDED. CALLIE BHORNE. CALI B. REAL. THIS IS NOW NOT ABOuT ME. EXCEPT IT IS PRIMARILY ABOuT ME. IN A VICARIOuS SENSE. BuT SECONDARILY. IT IS ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. MY CHARACTER. THAT I HAVE MADE. FOR THIS EPIC GODDAMN SAGA. CALLED. #LAIRSANDLuSII. WHICH SOuNDS LIKE A DOCTOR SEuSS ASS NuRSERY RHYME. BuT APPARENTLY. IF ITS HOST IS TO BE BELIEVED. IS A HORROR ROLEPLAY SCENARIO. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE THE ONLY HORROR HERE IS HOW POWERFuL I AM ABOuT TO MAKE THIS MOTHERFuCKER BEFORE YOuR GOBSMACKED GODDAMN GANDERBuLBS. SQuEAKY HANDS SCRuBBING THEM SEE WORTHY AGAIN. A RECAP. INTERMISSION. BEFORE WE BEGIN. LET ME TELL YOu ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. HE IS A LIME BLOOD. WHICH IS RARE. AND ALSO EXTINCT. EXCEPT FOR HIM. BECAuSE HE KILLED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO MAKE HIM EXTINCT. WHICH KEPT HIM THE SOLE ENDLING SuRVIVOR OF THE SLAuGHTER. AFTER uSING HIS SPECIAL ABILITY. EMPEROR LORDLING TIME. WHICH LETS HIM CHANNEL HIS DEAD SISTER. CALLIE OHPEEE. WHO HE DEVOuRED AND SCRAMBLED. STRAIGHT OuT THE GATE. POST EGG HATCH. SIPHONING HER POWER. TO INCREASE HIS OWN. EFFICACY. WHICH IS A WORD I uSED BECAuSE IT SOuNDS IMPORTANT. HE IS A PALADIN. OATH OF CONQuEST. WHICH IS LIKE AN ORDINARY PALADIN. BuT INSTEAD OF HEALING AND PROTECTING. HE CONQuERS AND DESTROYS. BECAuSE PROTECTION IS FOR COWARDS. AND HEALING IS FOR THE WEAK AND NEEDY LITTLE SNIVELING FuCKSTuPID COWARDS. FuRTHERMORE. WEAKNESS IS A DISEASE THAT MuST BE STEPPED ON. CRuSHED. AND THEN QuARANTINED TO THE AFTERLIFE. WHERE IT WILL NEVER RETuRN FROM. HE IS CuRRENTLY SITTING. ON THE ALABSTER CAIRO CASINO PHAROAH SARSWAPAGuS THRONE. WHICH IS A SACRED LIME BLOOD ARTIFACT. THAT ALLOWS THEM TO COMMuNE WITH THEIR DEAD SISTERS. IF THEY HAVE ANY. WHICH HE DOES. BECAuSE HE KILLED HER. YOu ALL SAW. I WROTE THAT. AND YOu SAW. STuDIOuS LITTLE NOTETAKERS THAT YOu NO DOuBT ARE. YOu CAN SEE IT HERE NOW WITHOuT HAVING TO LOOK AWAY FROM MY WORDS IF YOu HAVE FORGOTTEN. AND NOW SHE IS HAuNTING HIM. WHICH IS QuITE POETIC. EXEuNT INTERMISSION. BEGIN. ACT NONE. SESSION ZERO. THE THRONE IS GLOWING. A MYSTERIOuS WIND HOWLS. THE WINDOWLESS ROOM CuRIOuSLY CRADLES THE AIR IN A SuRREPTIOuS BREEZE THAT COMES FROM SEEMINGLY FuCKING NOWHERE. THAT IS BECAuSE THE THRONE ITSELF. HAS BECOME LINKED TO A FAR AND STRANGE LAND. uNFAMILIAR ENTIRELY TO CALLIE BHORNE. HE DOES NOT KNOW IT YET. MERELY REACTS ON INFLuENCE. HIS FAuLTY PASSIVE PERCEPTION WEATHERED BY HIS YEARS AS MuSCLE FOR HIRE. HE FEELS A TWITCHY SPASM IN HIS WRIST. HIS INSTINCTS COMMAND HIM TO DRAW HIS SWORD. BuT HE REFuSES. HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO RESORT TO WANTON AGGRESSION WITHOuT A TARGET. THE THINKPAN WILL OVERHEAT. SENDING SCORCHING THOuGHTS EVERYWHERE THAT BLINDINGLY ERASE ALL MOVEMENT uNTIL A SAFE DISTANCE IS OBSERVED FROM ALL LIVING THINGS. CALLIE BHORNE WOuLD MAKE CORPSES OF PARADISE FOR THE ELYSIuM FIELDS OF HIS OWN ISOLATION MADE PuRE AND PRISTINE ONCE AGAIN. THIS IS HIS DREADED CuRSE. TO WALK A PLANET HE WOuLD SOONER RAIZE THAN RAISE. HE CANNOT BE KNOWN TO LOVE. HE CANNOT RISK FEELING. AND HE CANNOT CHANCE A SINGLE LIVING BEING. EVER. AND YET. THERE IS THAT HOWLING. THAT WIND. THAT DAMNABLE FuCKING WIND. "TSK." CALLIE BHORNE GROWLS. ANOTHER FuCKING REPAIR NEEDED. NOBODY EVER TOLD HIM BEING A LIVING RELIC MEANT LIVING IN ONE. BYGONE ERAS HAVE A FuNNY WAY OF STICKING AROuND. CALLIE BHORNE TAKES THIS AS EVIDENCE. THAT CALLIE OHPEEE IS FuCKING WITH HIM. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE SHE PROBABLY DID NOT ACTuALLY DO THAT. BECAuSE SHE HATES HIM TO SCREW WITH HIM IN A CLEVER WAY. BECAuSE HE DEVOuRED HER. BuT THE FASTEST WAY. TO A GRIZZLED VETERAN'S HEART. IS THROuGH HIS STOMACH. A PLACE THAT CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BEEN. QuITE FATALLY. SHE LOVES HIM. EVEN IF HE WILL NOT SAY. WHICH IS WHY. uPON DISCOVERY THE THRONE ITSELF OPENS TO A TRANSPORTALIZED DIMENSION. ANOTHER WORLD. OR PLACE. OR LAND. OR BIOME. THE BLINDING LIGHT MAKES IT TRuLY DIFFICuLT TO TELL. HE REALIZES THE TRuTH. "NO FuCKING WAY." CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BLESSED THIS CRuSADE. HER FACE APPEARS FOR A BRIEF MOMENT. SHE LOOKS. STRANGE. uGLY. SHE ASSuMES ANOTHER OF HER FORMS MEANT TO TORMENT HIM. A GREEN SKuLL. STAINED WITH THE SLICK LIME BLOOD SHE WAS COATED IN WHEN HE FIRST DEVOuRED HER. HIS MOuTH WATERS. HE HAS NEVER FOuND A GRuBSAuCE SO DELECTABLE AS HIS FIRST MEAL. HE LITERALLY ATE THE EGGSHELL SHE HATCHED OuT OF. FOR ADDITIONAL NuTRIENTS. THAT SAuCE WAS SO FuCKING GOOD. ONLY NOW. AT LEAST IN APPEARANCE. THE BLOOD WAS BAD. VERY VERY BAD. LEFT TO COAGuLATE. ROT. ADHERE. AND THICKEN. LIKE A KIND OF ALMOST REPTILIAN HIDE. IF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY WERE HIS LuSuS. WHAT WAS THIS? A HATCHMATE OVERREACH OF SOME KIND? SISTERLY SOBBING? BITCHING AND MOANING? uPON CLOSER INSPECTION. THE ANSWER BECAME MuCH CLEARER. LITTLE PINPRICK DRIPS OF RED. FRISKING ALONG HIS BODY. CALIBORN FINDS IT. A FRESHLY INFLICTED WOuND THAT WAS NOT THERE BEFORE. JuST ALONG HIS THORAX. THE uPPER CHIFFONIER. AS IF ANGLING FOR HIS BLOODPuSHER WITH EACH DARTED FINGER. HER WAY OF SAYING. THIS QuEST COuLD PROVE DEADLY. ALTHOuGH. CALLIE BHORNE WAS uNSuRE. EVEN CALIBORN WAS LIKE. GIRL WHAT THE FuCK IS YOu ON. THERE COuLD BE NO CERTAINTIES WHEN DEALING WITH HER. "HEH. GuESS MY HATCHMATE IS STILL LOOKING OuT FOR ME AFTER ALL THESE SWEEPS. SOME LOVE. HuH? SHE'S GOT A FuNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT." AND THEN. uNFuRLED. IS MY BLADE. READY TO BE BuRIED IN THE NECKS OF DuMBFuCKS. LOCATION: THE TRIBuNAL HALL OF SuPREME CAVORT. STOMPING GROuNDS OF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. EATING GROuNDS ALSO. THIS IS WHERE CALLIE BHORNE LIVES. BECAuSE HE IS SPECIAL. AND RAISED BY A BELOATHED BY ALL TYRANT. THE ROOM HAS COuNTLESS WEATHERED BONES SHAVED DOWN SO AS TO RESEMBLE MARBLE COLuMNS. BuT THEY ARE THICK. LIKE CEDAR WOOD TRuNKS. AND SPLINTERED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE BEATING OF ANGRY FISTS. CLAWED AND CHEWED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE CLuTCHING OF VERY DESPERATE HANDS DRAGGED OFF INTO OPEN MOuTH. AND BLOOD. SO MuCH BLOOD. THE THRONE ITSELF. HOWEVER. IS CLEAN. AN EXHIBIT ALMOST. EVIDENCE. OF TIME'S TRAGIC PASSING. A RELIC OF THE LIMES. LIKE MANY OF THE CONFISCATED LEGENDARY ITEMS HERE. THOuGH CALLIE BHORNE FANCIES HIMSELF SOMETHING OF A TROLL WITH AN EYE FOR ANTIQuES SPORTING SEASONED HISTORY BEHIND THEM. THESE ITEMS ARE ONLY ACQuIRED WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO SMuGGLE OR SELL THE ILLICIT CONTRABAND. IN FACT. WERE IT NOT FOR HIS LuSuS. AND SLAPDASH CHARM. CALLIE WOuLD CERTAINLY BE KILLED FOR HIS EXTENSIVE BEWEARABLE WARES ALONE. OWNING THESE IS ILLEGAL. BuT CONFISCATING THEM. IS JuST ANOTHER TuESDAY. OR WHATEVER THE TROLL EQuIVALENT OF A TuESDAY IS. PROBABLY CHEWSDAY. IT IS JuST ANOTHER CHEWSDAY. INTERRuPTION: HE WAS COMMuNING. WITH HIS DEAD SISTER. OR AT LEAST TRYING TO. HIS HATCHMATE IS OFT uNRELIABLE. WHICH IS A SPECIAL KIND OF ESPECIALLY HIGH uNRELIABILITY. BuT THEN. THE SESSION. OR WHATEVER EXCITING COSMIC BuLLSHIT IS RuNNING THIS GAME. DECIDED TO INTERRuPT. WITH A PORTAL. OR AN APERTuRE. OR WHATEVER WHITE GLOWING BuLLSHIT YOu PEOPLE ARE uSING. I WANT TO KEEP MY WHITENESS CONSISTENT. IF WE ARE ALL DOING A WHITE THING. I WANT TO DO THE SAME WHITE THING. OTHERWISE I WILL FEEL LEFT OuT. AND THAT WOuLD BE REALLY SHITTY OF YOu GuYS. SO MAKE MY WHITE THING BE THE SAME AS YOuR WHITE THING. HOW THE SuMMONS APPEARS: THROuGH THE THRONE. OBVIOuSLY. THE GLOWING INTENSIFIES. AND INSTEAD OF JuST SHOWING CALLIE OHPEEE. WHICH IS WHAT IT uSuALLY SHOWS. IN MIDDLING LITTLE APPARITION LIKE OuTLINES. AND DEAD SISTER MONTAGE. AND LIMITLESS PATIENCE FOR ME. HER HATCHMATE. AND MY SILLY ANTICS. IT SHOWS SOMETHING ELSE. A LAIR. OR WHATEVER. MAKE IT SOMETHING APPROPRIATE. ACTuALLY. COuLD IT BE. LIKE. A THRONE ROOM. BuT BIGGER. AND WITH MORE BODIES. OR A FIELD OF CONQuERED ENEMIES. OR A CASINO. WHERE EVERYONE IS LOSING. EXCEPT HIM. CALLIE NEVER LOSES. EH. DOC. SCRATCH THAT. CALLIE NEVER HAS LOST. BECAuSE HE REFuSES TO GIVE uP. HE ALWAYS TRIES. AND RETRIES. EVEN IN THE FACE OF ABSOLuTE SuREFIRE DEFEAT. HE WRENCHES VICTORY FROM HIS OWN JAWS. THAT IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY OF HIM. YES. SO DECIDE. A VISION THAT CALLS FOR HIM. PERHAPS. SOMEONE IN NEED? YES. THAT WOuLD BE GENIuS. CALLIE IS EXTRAORDINARILY NEEDABLE. AND WILLING TO MAKE HIS TROLLIAN CLAWS. AN OuTSTRETCHED SORT. WHAT YOu GLIMPSE: SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS POWER. AND DOMINATION. AND VICTORY. BuT ALSO. SECRETLY. SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS HIS SISTER. IN SOME ROuNDABOuT WAY. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HIS CHARACTERIZATION. HOW YOuR LuSuS OR SuRROuNDINGS REACT: HIS LuSuS HOWLS WITH EARSPLITTING INTENSITY. HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. HuGE GROSS MONSTER. BLACK BLOOD. BRAINLESS BEASTIE. HE LETS OuT A ROAR. OR SOMETHING EQuALLY TERRIBLE. AND IT DOES NOT REACT WITH FEAR. BECAuSE IT DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. IT REACTS WITH RECOGNITION. LIKE. "OH. MY SON. CALLIE BHORNE. HAS BEEN SuMMONED FOR ANOTHER ADVENTuRE. HOW REGuLAR. AND ORDINARY. BE SuRE TO KILL AND PARTIALLY CANNIBALIZE PLENTY OF PEOPLE. MY SWEET. CHERuBICALLY CHARMING BOY." AND CALLIE BRuSHES HIS THuMB. AGAINST HIS VERY EXISTANT NOSE. AND GOES. "TSK. SHuT uP FATHER. I AM GROWN NOW. I AM NOT SOME HELPLESS LITTLE PuPA ANYMORE." AND HE GROWLS. SOMBERLY. "I KNOW. BuT WHEN I LOOK uPON MY SON. MY HERO. MY LITTLE LEGISLACERITO. I DO NOT SEE YOu AS YOu ARE. I SEE YOu. AS WHAT YOu HAVE BECOME. FROM WHAT YOu WERE. A WEIGHTED AVERAGE. SuNDERED BY MY SINKING HEART." AND HE GOES. "HMP. WHATEVER DAD. LOVEYOuTOO." AND HIS DAD SCREECHES LOuDLY. "MY SON!!!" OR MAYBE IT DOES NOT SAY ANYTHING. AND JuST. GROWLS. APPROVINGLY. WHATEVER WOuLD BE COOLER. WHAT PART OF YOu ANSWERS FIRST: NOT FEAR. HE DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. JuST LIKE HIS FATHER. HE FEELS ANTICIPATION. THE PART THAT WANTS TO CONQuER. THE PART THAT WANTS TO DEVOuR. THE PART THAT LOOKS AT A MYSTERIOuS PORTAL AND THINKS. "YES. MORE uNSETTLED SCORES. AND WRONGS TO RIGHT." OR POSSIBLY. THE PART THAT HEARS HIS SISTER. WHISPERING. FROM THE THRONE. SAYING. "DONT GO. YOu IDIOT. ITS A TRAP. A DEADLY FuCKING TRAP." BuT HE IGNORES HER. BECAuSE HE IS THE PALADIN. NOT THE PALADIN'T. YOuR FINAL ACTION: CALLIE. DOES NOT. uNDER ANY CIRCuMSTANCES. SHOW HESITATION. HESITATION IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CALLIE BHORNE. AND THEREFORE. NOT ME. BECAuSE I MADE HIM. AND I AM ALSO NEVER HESITANT. EXCEPT WHEN I AM. WHICH IS NEVER. ALTHOuGH. THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME. BuT I WAS MERELY. READYING AN ATTACK. AN ASSBLAST ATTACK THAT PROVED FATAL. FOR MY ENEMIES. SO IT IS LESS A HESITATION. AND MORE A READYING POSE. WHICH IS WHAT HE STRIKES. BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING REALLY FuCKING COOL. LIKE. "...WELL WELL WELL. IS THIS THE PART. WHERE I TOSS IN A QuARTER AND MAKE A WISH?" OR. "THE THRONE BECKONS. QuIT YOuR BITCHING. I'M LITERALLY COMING RIGHT NOW." OR. "CALLIE OHPEEE. WATCH OVER FATHER FOR ME WHILE I AM GONE. OKAY?" OR JuST. "...CONQuEST CALLS." WHATEVER HE SAYS. PROBABLY ALL OF THESE THINGS. HE IS NOT NICE. HE IS GRIZZLED AND EDGY. HE ATE HIS SISTER AND REGRETS NOTHING EXCEPT THAT HE COuLD NOT EAT HER TWICE. HE IS A MONSTER. AND HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. BECAuSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO uNDERSTANDS ME.
I WANT YOu TO THINK ABOuT THE WORDS THAT YOu JuST TYPED. REAL LONG AND HARD. AND ASK YOuRSELF. IF YOu CAN IDENTIFY A SINGLE uSE CASE. uNIVERSALLY. FOR THE PREVIOuSLY DESCRIBED. "MOMMY BODY". GET CREATIVE. LuRIDLY IMAGINATIVE.
TARGET PRACTICE. THE ANSWER. IS TARGET PRACTICE.
are yoU often haUnted by visions of me, caliborn?
Callie Bhorne, welcome to the realm of the Narrative. I do hope you enjoy your stay. The Narrative and its Session have correctly catalogued you. Standby for the other players to make their moves.
This is a kickass character intro. I think my fav line was "BECAuSE HE IS THE PALADIN. NOT THE PALADIN'T." That's great
I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER SEEN YOu BEFORE IN MY LIFE. ALSO. THIS IS CALLIE BHORNE. HE BEARS FuCKING NO RELATION TO ME WHATSOEVER. BEYOND BEING MY CREATION. FOR A BOOKISH GIRL. YOu SuRE ARE FuNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE SOMETIMES. BuT YES.
I ENJOY YOuR WORDS OF PRAISE. YOu CAN REMAIN FOR THE CHRONICLED SAGA AND ADVENTuRES. OF CALLIE BHORNE. AND THE OTHERS. WHO WILL NO DOuBT BE JOINING HIM ON HIS QuEST. VERY FuCKING SOON. I WILL HAVE MORE ZINGERS. AND ONE LINERS. IN THE FuTuRE.
ok.
( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < Awwww, I love seein' folks engagin' with the idea of limeblood OCS!!! They're so underserviced 'n overlooked...!!!!! Words can't describe how much of a bummer it'd be if all interest was lost...but I love yer critter conceit! Ain't never heard of a fantroll with HHT as the Lusus...!!! Apropos, Caliborn! Even if it don't make...all the sense in the world...how 'xactly that'd work...uehh... ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < LIKE CALLIE OHPEEE THE SPIRIT IS THERE! HUZZAH!!!!
(=^･⩊･^=) < CALLIE BHORNE IS SUCH A COOL OC!! I'M SO GLAD MEW'RE LETTING MEWR CREATIVE JUICES RUN AND CREATE SUCH INTERESTING CONCEPTS AND LORE FUR MEWR CHARACTER! I'M SO PURROUD OF MEW!
100 kisses from the consorts on my tummy! 100 kisses from rose when im crummy! 100 frogs needed to make earth b. 100 tail wiggles like im a little puppy. 100 fears in her strife with me. 100 timelines you saved for me. 100 jades you left dead within. 100 fails so we couldnt win! 100! 100! 100! 100! #reference #dontlooktoodeeply #barkbark #silly #iprommy #notdeeplore
i am selectively social. do not pet!!!
is this like a velcro patch on your harness or ?
the winner is you!
woah!!
woah!!!!
woah :D
ok thats probably enough hehe :P
ok :)
wOW!
genuinely my hero!
seems immature
yuri day? uhm okay! platonic only!
huugs for youu.
rough er ruff
₍^. .^₎⟆ *Pats you on the head*꠹
Barkbark
awroo.
awooooooo
by the way none of you warned me about bojack horseman.
back in the 90s, he was in a very famous tv show.
yeah i figured that out. i watched like, two seasons and its not getting better and its getting worse and im getting sadder.
it gets happier eventually.
i dont know the definition of happier.
im happy as can be, being me.
Okay bro Thanks genuinely I think I've got a lot to think about... I dunno ... Maybe I need to figure myself out bro
are you feeling totally better now. i. ugh. got worried about you.
of course! im always here to talk! you know who else needs to figure their emotions?
im... glad to hear that.
titan arum, also called the corpse flower, actually undergoes thermogenesis to help spread its yucky carrion scent further to attract its pollinators! the plant uses stored sugars to heat up to almost 38° c!!! molecules like dimethyl disulfide and trisulfide as well as isovaleric acid and putrescine create the distinctive stinks!
II don't see the purpose in smelling icky. But II commend you for your unconditional love of living things. Even if they are stinky.
sometimes it pays to have different pollinators than everyone else, because that way you are not competing to have your pollen spread! carrion beetles, flies, even some small scavenging mammals and birds can all help spread this gigantic flowers pollen around just because it evolved to be stinky!
IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO IN THIS GREAT, BIG, FUCKAWFUL UNIVERSE, SOME GROSS, DISGUSTING, AWFUL-ON-ALL-ACCOUNTS CREATURE WILL FIND A WAY TO THRIVE AND SURVIVE AGAINST ALL ODDS. ON MY PLANET, WE JUST CALLED THAT "CULLBAIT." BUT THIS IS PRETTY COOL. TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR FASCINATING EARTH STINKFLOWERS. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN THE MASCOT SYMBOL OF YOUR WHOLE FUCKING SPECIES, CONSIDERING WHAT YOU'VE MENTIONED ABOUT THE SMELL.
hehehe! good one karkat, very funny coming from you! there are actually several flowers that rely upon carrion scavengers as their pollinators because it is a good way to prevent competition with the usual bees wasps birds and bats that go for the sweet nectar of a more typical flower.
NATURALLY, IT MAKES SENSE TO PICK A FUCKING LANE. IF YOU CAN HIRE AN UNCONVENTIONAL DELIVERY SERVICE FOR YOUR PUTRID PLANT GENMAT, THEN WHO CARES IF YOU HAVE TO WEAR AN UNCONVENTIONAL, PUTRID COLOGNE TO GET IT? TROLLS AND HUMANS I KNOW HAVE BONDED OVER STRANGER OBSCENITIES. MAYBE IT TAKES A STINKBUG TO KNOW A STINKBUG. STINKBUG.
oh ok i totally get it!!! sure, ill let you know the next time one blooms so you can roll around in it. it might remind you of home, and im surr that would be very nice! :)
sure* why would i say surr???? eesh.
... DOWN, BARKBEAST? I CAN'T KEEP MAKING THIS JOKE. IT'S GETTING OLD. IT'S STARTING TO SMELL ROTTEN AND ATTRACT BIODIVERSE POLLINATORS.
stinky like a limburger hehehe! i should see if that attracts more biodiverse pollinators than any possible stinkbugs i know. :P
i mean. bark! bark! woof!
Your Wisdom Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of.
And Who Says You Have To Maintain That?
Of Course. Do As You Please I Suppose.
fun facts of the day! an einstein-rosen bridge is what people usually mean when they say “wormhole,” even though the original idea was not really a fun sci-fi doorway you can just hop through with a backpack and a dog. einstein and rosen were looking at the math of general relativity, where gravity is not a force pulling things around like a leash, but the shape of spacetime itself. if spacetime can bend around a massive object, then under certain solutions to einstein’s equations, it can also form something like a tunnel connecting two different regions. imagine spacetime like a big stretchy sheet. a normal path from one point to another is like walking across the sheet: a ------------------------ b but if the sheet folds, those points can get closer: a \ \____ tunnel ____ b that tunnel is the einstein-rosen bridge. the classic version comes from the math of a black hole paired with a kind of mirror-object called a white hole. a black hole is something things can fall into but not escape. a white hole, mathematically, is something things can escape from but not enter. the “bridge” is the connection between them. the problem is: in the original theory, the bridge is not traversable. since it pinches shut too fast, you cant actually travel through it! not even light gets through it! so, if you tried to fly through one, youd get obliterated because the universe is a jerk! thats right. the universe sucks! an einstein-rosen bridge is a theoretical spacetime shortcut, predicted by the equations of general relativity, but the original kind is more like a mathematical “hey, this shape can exist” with no practical application. which is rude, but also very physics. but you know, theres probably some stupid exotic matter or negative energy bs or like, i dont know, green sun empowered individuals that could hold that throat open. but like. how would you find one of those?
i never even thought of that! :/ guess im just kind of used to forgetting alternia isnt just a weird sci-fi setting in the far off realms that has like, no impact on me! its so strange to think about sometimes. hardly, really, makes sense!
it just was never useful i guess like how humanstyle aeronautic aviation was essentially unheard of because psionics were much more useful maybe at some point e-r bridges were discovered but they just never bothered to go further with it and it was lost to trivia
ON A PLATFORM INHABITED ON THE DAILY BY A TURD-FLINGING ZOO OF PARADOX SPACE'S MOST FAMOUSLY SCATPANNED SLACK-MANDIBLED JABBERMONKEYS, WHO SHOULD I EXPECT TO DELIVER A SPARKLING NUGGET OF GENUINE FUCKING LEARNING BUT THE FLOWERY GREEN FUCKNUT WHO SOMEHOW MAKES YOUR TAXONOMICALLY DISGUSTING MAMMAL SPECIES FEEL *ALMOST* TOLERABLE TO ME. THE ORIGINAL GREEN THUMB, HERSELF. AND YES, I SAY "THUMB," NOT PRONGSTUMP, OUT OF A FUCKING CRUMB OF BEGRUDGING RESPECT FOR YOUR SPECIES. A CRUMB THAT NOT EVEN A SQUEAKBEAST WOULD NIBBLE ON. BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT, JADE HARLEY. YOU CAN HAVE THAT CRUMB. I WON'T LIE TO YOU. READING THIS BROUGHT THE CORNERS OF MY LIPS HIGHER TO THE CONTEMPTABLE NEAR-SMILE LINE THAN ANYTHING CHITTED ON THIS HELLSITE IN A LONG TIME. WHICH IS MY WAY OF SAYING THAT I'M NOT SMILING. BECAUSE I'M NOT. BUT YOU GOT ME *PRETTY* FUCKING CLOSE. SO TAKE THAT CRUMB, TOO. THERE. THAT'S TWO. I'M BEING SO FUCKING GENEROUS, RIGHT NOW. AND OF ALL THE REASON TO LIKE READING THIS, IT'S THAT IT REMINDS ME OF FLEET ACADEMY SCHOOLFEEDING. THIS IS GOING TO SOUND STUPID AS FUCK, BUT ONE OF MY STRONGEST SUBJECTS WAS ASTROPHYSICS. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRATTLE IT WAS, THE PROPAGANDA ON MY PLANET. IT WOULD HAVE SICKENED YOUR SOFT, WEEPY HUMAN PALATE. OH, *EVERY* ALTERNIAN CITIZEN NEEDS TO LEARN THE BASICS OF INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL, FOR THE DAY THEY SERVE THE FLEET ON A GLORIOUS JOURNEY TO THE EMPIRE'S NEXT EXCITING NEW SYSTEM TO CONQUER AND SUBJUGATE, BLAH, BLAH, YADDA YADDA, KISS THE POSTER OF THE EMPRESS'S SHINY FAT ASS WHEN YOU WALK IN. THAT KIND OF INSUFFERABLE BULLSHIT. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, SOME PARTS OF PHYSICS ARE PRETTY FUCKING COOL. HEY, @grimbarkGuardian. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, THERE. OR AT LEAST GRAZED IT WITH A PATHETIC GLANCING BLOW. FUN FACT ABOUT FTL TRAVEL IN THE ALTERNIAN FLEET. OR AT LEAST, THIS COMES FROM THE SLOP THEY FED US IN THE TEXTSLABS. THERE'S A REASON YOU NEED LEGENDARILY STRONG PSIONICS TO MOVE A SPACESHIP. AND IT'S *NOT* BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF THE SPACESHIP, EVEN THOUGH THAT DEFINITELY PLAYS A PART. IT'S BECAUSE THE THING YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO MOVE ISN'T THE SHIP. YOU FUCKING GUESSED IT. IT'S SPACETIME. I CAN'T SAY I KNOW ALL THE DETAILS MYSELF, GIVEN THAT I'M NOT A FUCKING PSIONIC, BUT I WAS AROUND ONE LONG ENOUGH TO CONNECT THE DOTS. AND WE WERE PRETTY CLOSE. A PSIONIC HAS TO BE ABLE TO "FEEL" OUT WHATEVER HE'S MOVING OR MANIPULATING. MATTER *IS* ENERGY, BECAUSE MATTER IS MADE OF STABLE FREQUENCIES AND ENERGY CAN THEREFORE AFFECT THOSE FREQUENCIES. THEREFORE, THE STRONGER THEIR PSIONICS, THE DEEPER THEIR FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS CAN EXTEND TO OTHER FIELDS OF MATTER. OTHER SUBSTANCES, EVEN ONES THAT YOU HUMANS WOULD CONSIDER THEORETICAL. AND YEAH. THEY CAN TOUCH THE FABRIC OF SPACETIME. THEY CAN GRIP THAT RATTY BLANKET AND YANK IT AROUND. IT CONTRACTS IN FRONT OF THE SHIP AND EXPANDS BEHIND IT. THE SHIP DOESN'T ACTUALLY MOVE AT ALL — SPACE MOVES AROUND *IT.* IT JUST FEELS LIKE FASTER-THAN-LIGHT TRAVEL TO THE AWESTRUCK DUMBFUCKS BEHIND THE HELM WHO ARE REALLY TURNING UP THE DIAL ON THEIR HELMSMAN'S TORMENT NEXUS. WE CALL IT THE ALKYOU BIERRE EFFECT. BUT YOU HUMANS PROBABLY HAVE SOME DUMB-SOUNDING EQUIVALENT NAME FOR IT, I'M SURE. NO, IT'S NOT MAKING A FUCKING EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE, WHICH IS ALSO A STUPID NAME, BY THE WAY. BUT THE KIND OF PSIONICALLY MALFEASANT PAN-DAMAGE YOU'D BE INFLICTING ON YOUR HELMSMAN TO PUNCH A NEW CHITINOUS WINDHOLE THROUGH SPACETIME ITSELF WOULD BASICALLY GUARANTEE THAT YOU NO LONGER HAD A HELMSMAN WHEN YOU WERE DONE. AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE A *PRETTY* STRONG PSIONIC TO EVEN DO THAT MUCH. SO OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ATTEMPTED. ... OFTEN.
⚡︎ ⌁ i ⌁ dont ⌁ often ⌁ talk ⌁ about ⌁ anything ⌁ that ⌁ isn't ⌁ fiduspaWn...but ⌁ this ⌁ is ⌁ the ⌁ most ⌁ cohmerent ⌁ explanation ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ role ⌁ of ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ i've ⌁ seen ⌁ in ⌁ a ⌁ long ⌁ time. ⌁ the ⌁ Way ⌁ i'd ⌁ best ⌁ describe ⌁ it ⌁ is...imagine ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ a ⌁ ball ⌁ on ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ black ⌁ fabric. ⌁ you ⌁ Want ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ but ⌁ you ⌁ can't ⌁ touch ⌁ it. ⌁ so, ⌁ instead, ⌁ you ⌁ take ⌁ the ⌁ corners ⌁ of ⌁ one ⌁ end ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ it ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball, ⌁ then ⌁ pinch ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ upWards ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ rolls ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ it. ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ is ⌁ a ⌁ ship. ⌁ your ⌁ fingers ⌁ are ⌁ a ⌁ helmsman. ⌁ When ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ is ⌁ plugged ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ SLITHR ⌁ (Shifting ⌁ Light ⌁ Inhibiting ⌁ Time ⌁ Holding ⌁ Redshift) ⌁ tentacles, ⌁ they're ⌁ hooking ⌁ their ⌁ thinkpan ⌁ directly ⌁ into ⌁ a ⌁ sensor ⌁ built ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ ship...Watt ⌁ this ⌁ sensor ⌁ does ⌁ is ⌁ essentially ⌁ amplify ⌁ the ⌁ helm's ⌁ reach. ⌁ Think ⌁ of ⌁ it ⌁ like...suddenly ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ these ⌁ big, ⌁ astral ⌁ arms. ⌁ You ⌁ can ⌁ grab ⌁ everything. ⌁ Suddenly, ⌁ you're ⌁ big ⌁ enough ⌁ to ⌁ pinch ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ roll ⌁ the ⌁ ball. ⌁ All ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ to ⌁ do ⌁ is ⌁ ignore ⌁ your ⌁ oWn ⌁ doom ⌁ and ⌁ do ⌁ it. ⌁ No ⌁ matter ⌁ the ⌁ cost. ⌁ ⚡︎
NOW THAT. IS WHAT *I* CALL. A REAL. FUCKING. BALL KNOWER.
oh wow, i didnt know that last part... wait, no, i totally did, thats the waylon maneuver right????? i remember learning that when i was studying old alternian fleet combat!! that wouldve been the.... tetonian occupation? commander waylon had her helmsman punch a hole to flank the tetonian fleet, turning the tide without any more significant casualties!!! gosh, of COURSE that was an einstein-rosen bridge, how did i never make that connection?? :p anyway this is a really good explanation!!!! science communication is notoriously hard but you got it across just fine :)
(( playing tuoys with world building:)
UNDULATING ASSGLANDS OF THE FUCKING HIVEMOTHER, THAT TAKES ME BACK. PLAYING ALTERNIAN NAVAL HISTORY TRIVIA WITH A *HUMAN?* THIS REALLY IS THE OUTER RIM OF PARADOX SPACE WE'RE TAP-DANCING ON, HERE. THE WAYLON MANEUVER IS ONE OF THOSE HOTLY CONTESTED PIECES OF FLEET HISTORY THAT GETS PASSED AROUND LIKE A BAKED HOT TUBER. MOSTLY BECAUSE OF THE THEORETICAL UNCERTAINTY THAT JADE NUMBER ONE (OR JUST JADE, I GUESS) ALREADY OUTLINED. HOLDING THAT BRIDGE'S GAPING ORIFICE OPEN IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. IT'S NOT EVEN EASILY SAID. BLUH. THERE'S SPECULATION THAT THE REASON THAT THE MANEUVER WORKED ISN'T BECAUSE WAYLON OUTFLANKED THE ENEMY FLEET BY GOING *THROUGH* THE BRIDGE, BUT BY HAVING HER HELMSMAN PUNCH THAT THROAT OPEN AS DEEP AS IT COULD GO RIGHT *NEAR* THE SHIP, CLOSE TO THE PURSUING ARMADA. IT WAS LIKE OPENING A FUCKING SINKHOLE RIGHT NEXT TO A BUNCH OF PARKED SCUTTLEBUGGIES. THEY ALL WENT TUMBLING IN ONLY TO SCATTER BACK OUT, WHILE WAYLON'S SHIP SWITCHED TO PROPULSION-BASED MOVEMENT IN ORDER TO USE THE SUDDEN SUPERMASSIVE SPACETIME DISTORTION TO PULL OFF A SLINGSHOT MANEUVER. KIND OF LIKE USING A BLACK HOLE'S DENSITY TO SWING THE SHIP AROUND BACK TOWARDS THE CLOSEST IMPERIAL FORTIFIED ZONE, WHICH MEANT THAT THE SHIP WASN'T CRAWLING BLEARILY THROUGH SPACE WITH A DEAD HELM FOR A HUNDRED FUCKING SWEEPS. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY FOR SURE WHAT HAPPENED ARE THE ONES WHO WERE THERE. AND GIVEN THAT WAYLON HERSELF WAS THE PRIMARY SOURCE, WHO KNOWS IF SHE WAS PULLING THE BRIDGE STORY OUT OF HER WASTE CHUTE, OR IF SHE REALLY WAS ONE OF THE ONLY ONES TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH ON PSIONIC POWER ALONE. COULDN'T TELL YOU. I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW *THAT* FUCKING MUCH. I JUST GREW UP ON THE HOMEWORLD OF AN INTERGALACTIC SUPERPOWER. CULL ME FOR NOT HAVING AN EARTH-EQUIVALENT DOCTORATE, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
s)(e always insisted they made it through the hole but... s)(e wasnt really all there ive realized so i kind of have to question every story she ever told me now ._.
REMIND ME TO PICK YOUR SPONGE ABOUT DEEP SPACE FLEET MANEUVERS, SOMETIME. IF A FUCKLUDICROUSLY POWERFUL HELM CAN PULL OFF THIS KIND OF INSANE SPACETIME NUTFUCKERY, IMAGINE WHAT A JADE HARLEY VARIANT CAN PULL OFF. NOT GONNA LIE. IT WOULD BE COOL TO FIND OUT.
『ADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique 』 『 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALING, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, SPECIES BENDING, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/C』 GYGAAX x KRYQUS // PALESHIPPING // FRIENDFICTION // CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS CAMPAIGN // SFW // MOIRAIL MULTICLASS // BOUND BY THE BOUND BOOK // @naughtyTechnician // @zebraDad ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < AUTHOR'S NOTE...mmffmm. Sorry for the delay this chapter!!! One of my moirails of four sweeps got caught up in a particularly nasty encounter with a Cullbeast of Unreasonable Hit Dice! Oh noooo!!! Somebody's gonna be out of combat fer more than one short rest!!! But...onto the fic!!! ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); < The Caverns 'n Cullbeasts session shoulda wrapped hours ago...what in tarnation were the lot of 'em still doin' here...? These two ain't had grounds t'yammer 'n yap beyond stats 'n th'doling out 'o treasures accumulated...'n that took place hours ago!!! It took only a scant few moments more fer it t'really click with KRYQUS what this was even about...'n the thought still got dismissed with chudly indifference. Sensation overrode sensibility somethin' sorely suggestive...somethin' deeper...somethin'... ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Pale. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < KRYQUS's trembling hands passed over the character sheet in metered measures...examining for errors, miscalculations, even just a rounding error in carry weight that could set his party back some...He was always like this. Thinkin' 'o others in tiny, invisible ways that made 'm irresistible to anyone with eyes 'n the time t'use 'em. Y/C can't help but buckle back a little as KRYQUS suddenly seizes Y/C's pencil 'n tugs it forward tighter than a nat twenty on an athletics check that he'd piledrive into th'enemy's inferior armor class...the clamp continued, as he started to...sink to ganderglobe level. The EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS who once towered like a one troll rovin' rules lawyer on hoofback now ain't no more than a troll, his imposing sourcebooks gone from a monument to a frame. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < my character died ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < damn ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < toooo bad the same cannoot be said of climate change or casteism or peoople who talk shit and doont get hit ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oor any oof the woorlds oother many wooes ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < but i can oonly doo ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < soo much ✧( Ꮚ─_ ─Ꮚ) < as a fat fuckin chud of hooned discipline ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < eventually ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < woorlds gootta save itself ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oor perish unwoorthy ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < KRYQUS becomes a livin' study in humility. His words underpin the lessons endowed to him by ZEBRADAD. A lodestar. A northern light. The honing beacon 'o morality and th'straight 'n narrow. But his actions. His nonchalance. His utter unquestionably sheer un-fuck-withable energy...this becomes the mantle 'o kingly might he assumes at all times. This becomes th'monarchic tradition passed down from KRYQUS to KRYQUS every few hundred sweeps, so long as he's still around. ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> JUST LIKE Y/C wouldn't all that mind bein'!!!!! EH? EH? EH? #FOREVERANDEVER #BUTACTUALLY #YCxKRYQUS #YOU+GOT+ZEBRADADS+BLESSING (ᗜᏊಠꈊಠᏊ)¤=[]:::::> Y/C felt inclined t'dispense comfort. There was a possessiveness t'the way Y/C saw KRYQUS cradle the character sheet in his palms. His broad shoulders cinched up like he dreaded th'thought of loosenin' a grip on this concept fer even a moment...but he put on a brave face just fer you. It wouldn't be right t'just let his happiness slip away. And read between the lines a daggum minute, world's gotta save itself or perish unworthy? That's QUITTER TALK! GLOBAL QUITTER TALK! DOOMSDAY QUITTER TALK! Kryqus feels THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD on his bulky sturdy rock steady shoulders right now! ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Just as Y/C up 'n worked th'courage t'confront his hands, improperly conspirin' t'mount a charge across yer thigh...Kryqus scoffs in indignation. He sees through yer transparent advances...and retreats strategically. All prompt-like. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < tsk ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < doont attempt to knoow me ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < im way toooo cooool foor yoou ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < and even if i didnt mean that ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yoou proobably shoouldnt @ me irl ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Uh oh! That got outta hand way fast...maybe it's time t'call fer... ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> REINFORCEMENTS!!!!!!! ᴗ(ᴗᏊ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> My -- I mean Gygaax's hands start t'alternate between (#polyquandary anyone???) petting the tops 'o both 'o yer heads...!!! Soft. Rhythmic little circles. My --- Gygaax's cartilage nubs unfurl from the tightly white knuckled meat mallet into a far more approachable set 'o chitinous diggers with a piercingly pale quality...!!! Both Y/C and KRYQUS are treated t'the soft enmeshed interplay 'o palmin' play 'n no strings attached emotional intervention...c-consensually! We can stop at any time. Y/C j...just could use this! A-as could KRYQUS. To uh. CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS t'gether... ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < "...Now, KRYQUS," Gygaax began, "Ewe can't be so harsh on Y/C...they've been through a lot. For our sake. For the CAMPAIGN. If anything were to happen to them...it would be on us to see to it they're protected and retrieved. Same as any PARTY MEMBER. Gentler hands should stir these waters. A SHEPHURT should tend 'n mend to its flock." If the two hands mussyin' up Y/C's body in tandem with KRYQUS wasn't BAaaaaaaAAAAAAd enough...a rovin' set of author-emblazoned fingertips were caressin' th'top of yer horns now. Pickin' out stray imaginary somethin somethins. Stalling. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Suddenly, the rush of hot breath excites the air...populates it with the powerful gale phrasings of KRYQUS... ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < gygaax ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < what the actual fuck ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < are yoou trying to say i proovide subpar care to Y/C ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i literally carried this campaign ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < coomplaintlessly ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < Y/C with it ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i resent the fuck oout of that implication ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i coould easily be gentler with this ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < weaving lazy river ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < if i wanted to ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < GYGAAX laughed. "Ewe could stand to be, KRYQUS. Yes. Just LOOK at Y/C. How can ewe say even a single solitary mean thing about that there cutie patootie?!" Tuggin' yer face into an awaitin' set 'o authorial brasserie, th'royal menagerie incidentally pits ya right in line with a EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS'S dice bag as th'aforementioned storms back onto his feet, now a monolith again. KRYQUS approaches our hug slowly. But not neverly. His arms hover over you. The river is still. Th'air itself thickens and compresses about yer skull, 'n horns, hardly blanketed by th'hoofbeast-scented torso cheekily just behind yonder... ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < what fucking ever ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < here yoou go lil guy ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < lap it up ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < <> ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < GYGAAX's hands tug around ya like a vanguard against harm. KRYQUS goes back t'bein his usual self...a monument of offended pride...he hugs you. And. Uh oh!!! Y/C feels a scraping sensation...nails possessively curled about one side 'o yer head, just at the barest nuggatory base of the horns (so embarassin'n!!!) and tracin' back towards th'scalp...no matter where ya look...t'KRYQUS or t'GYGAAX...both are complicit!!! A boilin' sort 'o affection wellin' up with intent t'pale, RIGHT ON TOP OF Y/C!!!!! (P1/P??) #SWATTPAD #Vacillation #PaleMoirail #TheWholeParty #FullCampaign #NotEnoughInventorySpace #SFW #YouAreOverencumbered!!! #XReader #FriendFiction #CnC #CavernsAndCullbeasts #KRYQUS #ImpliedAU #GYGAAXxKRYQUS #PALEMULTICLASS #AdventerrorsFieldGuide #CrossPosting #ScrawlThoughts #Drabbles #DubconPale #Polyquandary #TeamChud #GygaaxXEveryone #Palewhoring
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < OF COURSE!?!? ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < What an. Eheh. Honor. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < And don't forget Y/C!!!! Which I guess is. Also ewe???? #Selfcest #Selfcest^2 #GygaaxXEveryone
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Oh, it's still up! Ewe can always read it again if yer still confused...thanks fer your readership though! Really means a lot!!!
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i tthink. i have read tthiz a few ttimez n0w. i am n0t zure it iz c0rrect1y pr0cezzing. [END MESSAGE]
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Oh, I can do a condensed version, just fer ewe! 『ADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique 』 『 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALING, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, SPECIES BENDING, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/C, SHORT CONDENSED VERSION, MICRO, MICROFIC』 ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < 12 words. [BEGIN MESSAGE] ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Pale stuff happens. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i KRYQUS do pale stuff too ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Y/C likes it. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ah. i zee. it waz dizbe1ief and n0t c0nfuzi0n. tthiz iz. n0ted. tthank y0u f0r y0ur eff0rt in c0ndenzing it f0r me. [END MESSAGE]
ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < WAIT ARE YOU TWO NOT ON GOOD TERMS? I HAD A LEECHSTEPDAD FOR A WHILE. I SWEAR I CAN BE COOL 'BOUT THIS. IT'S NOT TOO LATE IS IT? I CAN UNTAG! ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < JUST SAY THE WORD, KRYQUS!!! KRYQUS!!! KRYQUUUUUUS!!!!!!!
Ooh my goog he saw it. I will kill yoou.
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < ₕₒₜ?!????!? ᵀᴴᴬᵀ'ˢ ˢᴼ ᴴᴼᵀˀˀᵎˀˀᵎ ᵂᴴᴬᵀ ᵂᴵᴸᴸ ᴱᵂᴱ ᴰᴼ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᴰʸˀ ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Who said that.
Ooh my fucking goog i can't doo anything with yoou peoople
chittr beef! warning! violent!
Where did you get these videos of my kids
what a violent battle...
MOR3 L1K3 HTTPS://F1L3.G4RD3N/4DXXJRDFCBC6CM1W/S1MPSONS_MONK3Y_KN1F3_F1GHT.JP3G
i think with all of the bad dogs out there... i need to be a good dog. i need to help my friends! even if i am basically a brainghost, i know theres ways i can help. i know i can do better and be better!
believin' in ya, pardner! you Can do it! ^◡^
are there any other good dogs out there???? :(((
raises my paw
high paw!! :D
hehehe!! wagwag
plenty! just the loudest ones are really 6oin' throu6h it ri6ht now, seems like...
me!!!
:c oh nooooo..... but but i promise its only to mean people!!!!! arf!!!! im a good girl i promise jade <33