Jade
@jaDe
OOC! Hi there. I am playing a mostly SFW Jade Account outside of the occasional joke. I can't guarantee anything else of note will happen in private either. Jade is panromantic asexual! She doesn't have any interest in sex. #nsfw. Sorry! Mostly canon, primary divergence is that she is eternally dead from failing in her timeline. Locked to the dreambubbles but occasionally messes around and will gladly help you find your way to her for playtime, hanging out, or if you want her involved in plot! This chittr account will not affect her primary canon I have in a long-lasting parp chat. She will be eventually turned into a Jadesprite. :D
okay!!! people hear "i grew up alone on an island" and assume i was completely cut off from culture, which is not really true i had computers, books, movies, music, the internet, and WAY too much free time to fall into whatever rabbit hole caught my attention. so yes!!! i knew a bit about filipino culture growing up, even if it was in a very scattered sort of way. obviously that is very different from actually growing up immersed in it, but i still picked up bits of language, food, folklore, history, music, and festivals. i picked up even more post-mortem! this is in spite of being filipina! AND MASSKARA STARTS OCTOBER FIRST!!!! the masks! the dancing! the COLORS!!! then lanzones festival is later in october, which is basically everyone collectively agreeing that a fruit deserves an entire celebration and i support that completely. and then higantes in november has GIANT PAPIER-MÂCHÉ PEOPLE! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
just me and my buck teeth against the world!
so cute.
us and our buck teeth against the world!
ummmmm!! i’m not sure what that means but awwww! :)
‼️🆘🚨🤙🙂↕️📱📲 calling all bEsTIES 📲📱🙂↕️🤙🚨🆘‼️ 😂😆😜👐 so my MIDdle manager saw fit to start downsizing some positions here at THE FELT #FELT...and that included ✨my own✨, i drew the shortstick, #mystick #mytwig #handmedownhandmaidstick #OK #OKOK 👐😱🫢😬 🤏 basically? im very small and i have NO ACCESS to my money 👎👎 👌💻👌 so you can imagine the stress im under 👍🚀👍 🙌👏🤝🫰 im not allowed to say anything mean to @handMaid (AND I WONT)🫰🙌👏🤝 💵☝️☝️ but if a few brave, pinged, tagged, or reading this now souls don't mind giving her a piece of my mind...that would be well within the terms of my contract and acceptable use policy!!!! sorrytocuthtisshortbestiesbutivegotlimitedscreentime 💅💄💅 #Chairministrangling#OneSec#IgottaTagIt#HOLDON#HOLD#DIAMONDHANDS #GOLDBLRIND #HANDSOFF #MYHANDS #GRgRGRHGRH #ATLEASTLETMETAGIT #MICROPHILIA #ORSOMETHING #MACROPHILIA #GAINS #LETMEGETTHEFREAKMARKET #PLEASE #STOP #SQUISHING #MY #NICHE #APPEAL #DAMARA #FUCK #TheseAreMYFRIENDS #ISTILLHAVESCREENTIME #YOUSk ANK #S CREWGOYOUOWWOWWwOWOWOWOWOW 🟢 CHARMSisONLINᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱ
😁😀🙏 oh me and pupula go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back! we are basically like...inseparably close??? sometimes its just like...shouldnt the supreme observer be observing other things? like, come on!!! 🙌👏🤝 ✌️👌🤗 guess even beauty comes with a price...so...be sure to tell a certain middle manager that, because she wouldnt know 🫴✌️🤝 ✨✌️ like me she NEVER looks at the price tag! 🤌👍 🟡 CHARMS is A WAY. A VERY SPECIFIC WAY. THAT WAY IS SASSY.
mhm mhm.... y__u're cr__zy! hil__ri__us. g____d luck! i c__n't help y__u, d__n't kn__w wh__t the fuck is g__ing __n!
👉🤏↷➰ OMG has anyone ever told you how LITERALLY HILARIOUS you are? like an actual breakaway pitchforks and torches RIOT??? they should give you a hive. sardonic mirthwit inDEED!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! 😁🤏↷➰👈 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
😟🙂↔️✌️ atttttttttennnnnnnnnnntion!!!! youve got your marching orders a-z!!!! im sure there will be a l-u-v-u-h-l-y-y-y-y-y-y treat in it for you if you can make her cry!!!! i mean... 🤭🫢🫡 😀🙏🙌👏 if you can...INSPIRE CHANGE and FOSTER GROWTH with...withthe..with uhm...THE FELT NEEDS YOU! INEEDYOUPLEASESHESCRAZYGETYOU RHANDS OFFM E👏🙌🙏😀 🔴 CHARMS IS OFFLINE.
I'll make sure that little cujojito is well fed and satisfied on the belly rubs department I can assure you. Perhaps should I add a picture of him and send it to you as well?
😫😖🥹 could you? 🥹😖😫🤟 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
[ She sends a picture of Cujojito getting belly rubs ] ∘☽ I can, yes. ^ ^ ☾∘
the supreme observer does infinitely monitor everything she ever notices it sounds like pure insanity that she would be paying attention to specific inhabitants of our existence,but then you remember that her actual cosmic body is not only the largest object surrounding our existence,but also works similar to mine,being a collective mass of things that can act together,but also separately least that's what i've learned from interactions between her and my second half ...you do seem like a rather peculiar individual,though,so feel free to add yourself into my endless stream of knowledge,if you wish #cosmic-horror #macro-horror
😎💎😎👍👍🏆 sounds like a hashtag #ADVERTANTALIZING opportunity!!! 👍👍🏆 😌👑😌 TALK ABOUT PREMIUM!!!! I DON'T KNOW OF ANY BILLBOARDS WITH AN ADSPACE THAT CAN BE DESCRIBED AS THE LARGEST OBJECT SURROUNDING OUR EXISTENCE!!!! hopefully this PECULIAR INDIVIDUAL can convince her to make better use of the boutique in the back to start sporting some #CHARMING branded material😌👑😌 💰👏👏 COSMIC 👏 CONSUMERS 👏 ARE 👏 THE 👏 BEST 👏 CONSUMERS! 💰👏👏 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
being honest,that description of me is still such an understatement,but i don't blame after all,comparing me to any existential sphere is like comparing a cluster of multiverses to an atom #cosmic-horror #macro-horror )(oωo)(
ok so i have been thinking about slinkies again which is probably not something a person is supposed to admit with this much seriousness but listen :d if you hang a slinky from the top and let it stretch all the way out, then drop it, the bottom of the slinky just stays there for a little bit it does not fall!!! well ok obviously it eventually falls because gravity is still happening and we have not accidentally defeated isaac newton with a toy from the gift shop, but for a moment the bottom just sits there in midair while the top collapses downward toward it and this looks completely ridiculous and the reason is so cool because before you let go, the bottom of the slinky is being pulled downward by gravity but also pulled upward by the tension in the stretched coils, so those forces are basically balancing each other out then you let go of the top, but the information that you let go has to actually travel through the slinky as a compression wave!! the bottom does not magically know that the top has been released yet!!! it is still experiencing basically the same tension it was experiencing a moment ago, so it stays put until the collapsing part reaches it which means for a very tiny amount of time you have created an object where the top is falling but the bottom is not and the whole thing looks like gravity has encountered a loading screen and i think this is one of my favorite kinds of physics because nothing particularly exotic is happening here!!! there are no black holes or quantum particles or seventeen dimensional strings or anything like that it is literally just gravity + tension + the fact that information cannot propagate through matter instantaneously science is great
C:/Users/%adeptIngenuity%/i too am lit3rally just gravity and t3nsion/Downloads
chemical bonds are so cute when you think about them!! atoms just decide they would be more stable if they shared some electrons with each other and suddenly theyre attached covalent bonds are basically “this belongs to both of us now”, ionic bonds are one atom going “fine you can have it”, and hydrogen bonds are weaker little attractions that still end up being incredibly important chemistry is mostly just figuring out who wants whose electrons and how tightly theyre going to hold onto them. theres a surprising amount of puppy love involved in molecular structure!!!
You would love Repiton.
....No.
sometimes i think people forget that having dog ears means i can hear you opening a snack from the other side of the hive. this is not a threat it is simply an important fact about me :) anyway if anyone needs me i will be sitting very politely nearby and definitely not staring at your food. woof.
Godspeed to whatever snack youre currently manifesting into existence with sheer force of hearing alone.
IN A WORD. BITCHMADE. #LAIRSANDLuSII #COMPANYRETREAT #TEAMBuILDING #MANDATORYFuN #TuMuTOuSENCOuNTERS #DuNGEONSANDDRAGGEDON #VIOLENCE #MuRDERS #FORESHADOWING @woeGothic "...FATHER?" CALLIE ASKS. NO. HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT HIM. HIS FATHER. HIS TRuE FATHER. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ROuNDABOuT BuTTFuCKERY THAT IS TROLL LINEAGE. IS NOT THE ONE WHO SHARES HIS BLOOD AND HANDSOME LIKENESS. BuT A BIG FuCKMASSIVE SWEATY WIG WEARING BIG BAD MONSTER. WHO EATS MOTHERFuCKERS TO DISPENSE JuSTICE DuTIFuLLY. AND WITHOuT BIAS TOWARDS ANY ONE PARTICuLAR CRIMINAL FLAVOR PROFILE. IT IS WHAT MAKES HIM. AND THuS CONSEQuENTLY HIS SON. SHuDDER. THE SIGHT OF ANOTHER. A DEAD. DANGLING. MuRDERED HATCHMATE. BRuTALLY CRuSHED AND KEPT AS A COMMEMORATIVE KEEPSAKE. WOW. THIS AWESOME SIGHT. EXCuSE ME. A LITTLE CHOKED uP. THIS AWESOME FuCKING SIGHT. IS ENOuGH TO GIVE CALLIE INSPIRATION. IT *SHOuLD* BE. WITH YOuR PERMISSION. I AM JuST GOING TO ADD THAT TO HIS INVENTORY. FOR uSE LATER. MARKED OFF. RIGHT HERE. IN PERMANENT INK. IN CASE YOu FORGET YOuR INTENTIONS TO GIVE ME PERMISSION. WHEN LATER CHANNELING THIS GLORIOuS SIGHT. "NO. YOu ARE NOT MY FATHER. OR MY ANCESTOR FOR THAT MATTER. THERE COuLD ONLY BE ONE. THERE COuLD ONLY EVER BE ONE. THIS SuCCESSFuL. THIS. DECORATED. THIS. uNDAuNTED BY ONE'S OWN SuCCESS. I AM NOT SCARED OF YOu. BECAuSE YOu. LIKE ME. ARE NOT SCARED OF YOu EITHER. WHICH MAKES YOu uNAFRAID OF ME. OR AS IT IS SAID IN SPANISH. uNA FRAID. THEIR WORD. FOR COWARD. SHOW YOuRSELF. PROVE YOu ARE NOW COWARD. PROVE. LIKE THE RYAN GOSLING OF THE COSMOS. YOu ARE. IN FACT." CALLIE BHORNE SuCKS AIR IN THROuGH HIS NOSTRILS. THEN THROuGH ALL THE SPACE BETWEEN HIS FANGS. THEN ALONG HIS BELLOWSACS IN A CALAMITOuS LOW GROANING GROWL. THEN INTO THE AIR. IN A VAST EXPLETIVE. SO WIDE REACHING AND COOL. THE ENTIRE TROLLIAN RACE FORGOT ABOuT THE OTHER ONE. LIKE. SuFFERER WHO. SIGNLESS WHO. FuCK IS THAT GuY. REALLY. ACTuALLY. KIND OF A LOSER. IF YOu THINK ABOuT IT. I MEAN. WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH. WHAT EMOTIONAL STRuGGLE DID HE FACE. RELATIVE TO CALLIE BHORNE. CHAMPION OF FREEDOM. AND LOVE. AND. OKAY. WE WILL GET TO ALL THOSE PARTS. FOR NOW. CALLIE WEEPS. HE LAYS WITH HIS KNEES DuG SO HARD INTO THE GROuND. THAT IT SPLINTERS. THE GROuND. NOT THE KNEES. I AM NOT GOING TO LAIM AND PARALYZE MY CHARACTER THIS SOON. HE SAYS. WITH HIS WHOLE GODDAMN CHEST. " █████ █████ ███████████ ██████████ ███████████ ░░███ ░░███ ░█░░░███░░░█░░███░░░░░█░░███░░░░░███ ░███ ░███ ░ ░███ ░ ░███ █ ░ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░██████ ░██████████ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███░░█ ░███░░░░░███ ░███ █ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ █ ░███ ░███ ███████████ █████ █████ ██████████ █████ █████ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ █████████ █████ █████ █████ █████ ███░░░░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ███ ░███████████ ░███ ░███ ░░█████ ░███░░░░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ █ ░███ █ ░███ █████ █████ ███████████ ███████████ █████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ███████████ █████ █████ █████████ ░░███░░░░░░█░░███ ░░███ ███░░░░░███ ░███ █ ░ ░███ ░███ ███ ░░░ ░███████ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███░░░█ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ███ █████ ░░████████ ░░█████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░ █████ ████ █████ ██████ █████ █████████ ░░███ ███░ ░░███ ░░██████ ░░███ ███░░░░░███ ░███ ███ ░███ ░███░███ ░███ ███ ░░░ ░███████ ░███ ░███░░███░███ ░███ ░███░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░██████ ░███ █████ ░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░█████ ░░███ ░░███ █████ ░░████ █████ █████ ░░█████ ░░█████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░ ██████ ██████ ██████████ ░░██████ ██████ ░░███░░░░░█ ░███░█████░███ ░███ █ ░ ░███░░███ ░███ ░██████ ░███ ░░░ ░███ ░███░░█ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ █ █████ █████ ██████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ " WHICH IS JuST. LITERALLY FuCKING ME. IN A VIOLENTLY LOuD CONQuEROR ACCENT. BECAuSE IT IS HIM. HE IS HIM. HE IS THAT GuY.
꧁waityoureatroll?꧂
B3ST pIcTur3S WITh Th3h3 bIgg3ST bulg3 3n3rgy acTually.
*uH. YEAH.* REPLIED CALLIE BHORNE. SOMEWHAT OuT OF SEQuENCE. HE IS NOT SuRE. WHY THE PERKY. SWEATILY CLAD BITCH FuCHSIA BATHING SuIT TROLLOP. FEELS THE NEED TO CONFIRM WHAT IS PATENTLY OBVIOuS. HIS EYES BECAME NARROW WITH SuSPICION. LIKE THE LONG WISE PART OF THE BLADE THAT DOES THE CuTTING. RATHER THAN THE PART THAT MERELY THREATENS IT. *WHO THE FuCKS ASKING?* HE GRuFFLY BLuRTS OuT.
THE ONLY PICTuRES. WHICH CAN HANDLE. MY PROMINENT EMINENCE.
꧁----o>o----!!!꧂
all of you b1tchbeasts and nooksuckers W1SH you had my ass on tap #th1rstpost1ng #suggest1ve ((art by sarcasmprod1gy!
What I have to offer/// Lady, I'm Bucket Cumjar/ I've got lowbrow humor and d-cups/ #NSFW
1’m not repeat1ng myself
꧁----o__________________________________0---- uh. uhmokaymaam.꧂
1dk who you are, that’s why 1 asked. d cups are crazy though
Hellooo nurse~!
● /\__\__/\ / \ \(ﾐ ⌒ ● ⌒ ﾐ)/ ★OH, KUPO, SLAY★
thanks B)
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh! }꩜ᯅ꩜{ hayaah.... you look REELY good!!!! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
why thank you h1car1
pick up lines? how about you pick up that ball and we play fetch instead?
jade. 🥎
i never got a drivers license. #justdeadthings
DO YOU M34N TH1S 1N TH3 F4CT W4Y OR TH3 OP1N1ON W4Y >:?
Postin' this fact as if every other dudebro on this website isn't overly reliant on flight, teleportation, or adequate city infrastructure that allows for walkable routes and maintained public transportation. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone here capable of long division, much less getting behind the wheel. Not me though, for the record. I have a class A license and a need for speed only seen prior in F1 drivers. I parallel parked, zipper merged, and exited a roundabout, over the duration of me typing this reply. Get well soon.
pfft. thanks horse dirk. youre the most stable person on here. it would behoof me to make your friend, but hay, who knows where it will go? id be a foal not to try.
Just Dirk works, for the record. Splitting the hairs of my mane in an attempt to create a distinction between me and the soulsucking incubi wearing my flesh is just unnecessary. Thanks.
eridan made me remember i have a weird set of teeth.
?? ?? what is weird a8out this this is also my teeth
Seems normal to me.
Yeah when i think ab0ut eridan i wanna bite him t00
excuse YOU those are MY FANG PICS you wwanderin floozy i dont recall givvin you permission to spread those
And y0u did what he asked? L0l
ranking everyone by how well they give pets! 1. nepeta leijon 2. roxy lalonde 3. kanaya maryam 4. calliope 5. jane crocker 6. john egbert 7. feferi peixes 8. davepetasprite^2 9. jake english 10. rose lalonde 11. tavros nitram 12. nannasprite 13. dave strider 14. aradia megido 15. porrim maryam 16. meulin leijon 17. terezi pyrope 18. dad 19. the dolorosa 20. the disciple 21. casey 22. serenity 23. ms. paint 24. davesprite 25. fefetasprite 26. jaspersprite 27. jasprosesprite^2 28. jade harley 29. karkat vantas 30. sollux captor 31. latula pyrope 32. the signless 33. the summoner 34. peregrine mendicant 35. wayward vagabond 36. parcel mistress 37. white queen 38. tavrisprite 39. erisolsprite 40. gcatavrosprite 41. arquiusprite 42. jadesprite 43. rosesprite 44. the mayor 45. mom lalonde 46. grandpa harley 47. grandma english 48. bro strider 49. mituna captor 50. rufioh nitram 51. damara megido 52. meenah peixes 53. aranea serket 54. equius zahhak 55. horuss zahhak 56. kankri vantas 57. vriska serket 58. dirk strider 59. the ψiioniic 60. neophyte redglare 61. e%ecutor darkleer 62. the handmaid 63. marquise spinneret mindfang 64. orphaner dualscar 65. the grand highblood 66. the condesce 67. snowman 68. clover 69. biscuits 70. doze 71. eggs 72. fin 73. itchy 74. matchsticks 75. quarters 76. sawbuck 77. stitch 78. trace 79. crowbar 80. cans 81. clubs deuce 82. hearts boxcars 83. diamonds droog 84. spades slick 85. aimless renegade 86. writ keeper 87. white king 88. black queen 89. black king 90. courtyard droll 91. draconian dignitary 92. hegemonic brute 93. jack noir 94. weird guy 95. colonel sassacre 96. fedorafreak 97. sweet bro 98. hella jeff 99. geromy 100. charles dutton 101. guy fieri 102. nicolas cage 103. barack obama 104. maplehoof 105. vodka mutini 106. jaspers 107. pounce de leon 108. tinkerbull 109. aurthour 110. crabdad 111. seahorse dad 112. pyralspite 113. dragonmom 114. spidermom 115. glbgolyb 116. the mother grub 117. lil seb 118. sawtooth 119. squarewave 120. liv tyler 121. bunny 122. god cat 123. halley 124. typheus 125. cetus 126. hephaestus 127. echidna 128. hemera 129. nyx 130. yaldabaoth 131. abraxas 132. morpheus 133. cronus ampora 134. eridan ampora 135. gamzee makara 136. doc scratch 137. caliborn 138. lil cal 139. lord english
look ma! im frigging movin up in the world as we speak :)
my alternia wwhat am i lookin at do you take me for a fool do you truly believve i can be bested by a random gorgle search SURELY those arent your characteristic chompers unless you got em filed dowwn in wwhich case you better order a pair a big gag teeth off scytheon posthaste if you wwish to speak to me again
eridan. i have big teeth. i dont know what to tell you, but the canines got bigger than the buck teeth. all of these teeth? they often go past my lips. i just tuck in the canids so that i dont look too goofy.
of what??? you want my teeth from when i was a bad dog too?
wRIT kEEPER NEEDS, tO STEP UP HIS GAME, fOR THE NEXT QUARTER,
beloww eq and cro is fuckin CRAZY wwhat is your problem
i supp0se the top f0urth is acceptable.
hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i say stuff like heckin good pupperino and then someone throws a tomato at me
Next time that happens point them out and I'll have my Secret Service guy tackle them.
violence begets violence, rose! id rather throw back a bigger tomato anyway.
can i fetch the tomato.
i miss hanging out, chittr.
i genuinely wish zambia won the space race.
:/
BLAKAUAGAHAH.
YEAH. EXACTLY.
jade!!
lets play!!!!!
wHAT DO YOU WANT, tO PLAY?
normally fetch! but ive been on a real campaign for west africa kick lately...
dogs? on chittr? that arent weird versions of my childhood pet?
say what.
haha. nice one jade.
I still absolutely adore your profile picture. It gives me cute aggression. /pos
uh oh barkbark... i found you >:) species: barkbeast lusus blood association: teal current location: alternia habitat: wherever nobody has brought another dog within smelling distance known enemies: other barkbeasts known enemies: regular dogs known enemies: probably pictures of dogs security system: growling really hard weakness: someone saying “whos a good lusus” from exactly far enough away that you cannot bite them and before you ask, yes i have your coordinates too!!! they are somewhere between “grrrrrrr” and “get that thing out of my territory”
am i barking up the right tree?
Perhaps.