Karkat Vantas
@knightGeneticist
I WAS HELD AGAINST MY WILL TO MAKE THIS STUID FUCKING ACCOUNT SO SUCK IT UP. I GUESS I LIKE WATCHING ROMCOMS AND LISTENING TO DAVES BEATS.
I’M FINE THANK YOU.
IM PUTTING MY WARNINGS HERE: #RANT #PISSEDOFF #YOURENOTBETTERTHANANYONEASSHOLE #PHILOSOPHICALBULLSHIT NORMALLY I’D KEEP THIS CHIT SMALL FOR THE BEINGS WHO DON’T HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN TO READ ANYTHING LONGER THAN THREE FUCKING SENTENCES, BUT I’M FEELING WORDY LIKE MY ANCESTOR TODAY, SO DEAL WITH IT. IN ALL MY EXISTENCE, I’VE HAD MANY, MANY BEINGS FIND WAYS TO IRRITATE ME. ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF ME. MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW OR THROW SOMETHING THROUGH A WALL. SOME OF THEM I’VE ENDED UP BECOMING CLOSE TO. SOME HAVE LEFT MY LIFE. OTHERS WE’RE NOT GOING TO GET INTO BECAUSE THAT’S EITHER PRIVATE, OR I JUST DON’T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. BUT I’VE RECENTLY FOUND THAT VERY FEW THINGS GET MY BLOOD BOILING FASTER THAN THE FUCKWADS WHO THINK THEY’RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. MAYBE THAT’S MY ANCESTOR’S STUPID RHETORIC SEEPING INTO MY THOUGHTS THROUGH HIS JOURNAL. OR MAYBE I’M FINALLY SEEING IT FROM A PLACE WHERE I’VE HAD ENOUGH PEACE AND DISTANCE TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT. EITHER WAY, IT’S FUCKING STUPID. I THINK WHATEVER IT IS THAT DEFINES YOU SHOULD BE TESTED ON A FEW DIFFERENT LEVELS, IF IT NEEDS TO BE TESTED AT ALL. ARE YOU A FUCKING ASSHOLE, OR DO YOU CARE TOO MUCH? ARE YOU SMART ENOUGH TO KEEP A TON OF BEINGS FROM GETTING KILLED, OR WOULD YOU SACRIFICE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE THE ONE STANDING ON TOP? DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHEN TO PUT YOUR PRIDE ASIDE? CAN YOU ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG? CAN YOU LOOK AT SOMEONE WHO HAS LESS THAN YOU AND STILL SEE THEM AS AN EQUAL? BECAUSE WHEN YOU REALLY GET DOWN TO IT, NONE OF THIS SHIT SHOULD MATTER AS MUCH AS WE PRETEND IT DOES. THE COLOR OF YOUR BLOOD DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER. THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER. HOW MUCH POWER YOU HAVE DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER. HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER. AND HAVING SOME ANCESTRAL LEGACY TO HIDE BEHIND SURE AS FUCK DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER. WHEN YOU REALLY GET DOWN TO THE SCIENCE OF IT, WE’RE ALL JUST MAJORLY STUPID EXISTENCES THAT SOMEONE ELSE MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE, APPARENTLY HOPING WE’D CONTINUE SOME KIND OF LEGACY WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED. AND SOMEHOW, DESPITE KNOWING HOW FUCKING FRAGILE ALL OF THIS IS, WE STILL FIND WAYS TO DECIDE THAT ONE OF US IS MORE WORTHY THAN ANOTHER. THAT’S THE PART I DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND. MAYBE THE THING THAT DEFINES YOU SHOULDN’T BE WHAT YOU WERE BORN WITH. MAYBE IT SHOULD BE WHAT YOU DO WITH WHAT YOU WERE GIVEN. HOW YOU TREAT THE BEINGS AROUND YOU. WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE POWER OVER SOMEONE WHO CAN’T STOP YOU. WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO HELP OR HURT. WHETHER YOU LEARN FROM THE FUCKING MISTAKES THAT CAME BEFORE YOU OR DECIDE YOU’RE TOO IMPORTANT TO MAKE ANY OF THEM. I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE I’M JUST RAMBLING. AGAIN. BUT IF MY ANCESTOR’S JOURNAL HAS TAUGHT ME ANYTHING, IT’S THAT BEING IMPORTANT DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU’RE RIGHT. AND BEING BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE WAS NEVER THE POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
UPDATE ON THE BOOK. IT’S A ROMCOM. I WAS TOLD IT WAS A ROMANTIC FANTASY, WHICH IS TECHNICALLY TRUE, I GUESS, BUT ROMCOM IS DEFINITELY MORE ACCURATE SO FAR. AND I’M ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING PLEASED WITH THE WRITING. LIKE, GENUINELY. THE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THEY HAVE CONTEXT FOR WHAT’S HAPPENING. INFORMATION IS GIVEN TO YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE SOMEONE JUST STOPPED THE STORY TO READ YOU A FUCKING MANUAL. AND THE WORDING DOESN’T MAKE ME WANT TO THROW THE BOOK THROUGH A WALL. OUR MAIN CHARACTER IS A DARK WIZARD WHO APPARENTLY GOT AMNESIA AFTER FUCKING SOMETHING UP. I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YET. POTION, SPELL, MAGICAL ACCIDENT, WHATEVER THE HELL IT WAS. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE WHATEVER HAPPENED KNOCKED SOME SENSE INTO HIM. WHICH IS A PRETTY FUCKING FUN PREMISE FOR A ROMCOM, IF YOU ASK ME. AND HONESTLY, I COULD SEE THE LALONDES GETTING A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE TOO. I’M STILL READING, SO I’M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I HAVE THE WHOLE THING FIGURED OUT. BUT SO FAR? I’M ACTUALLY HAVING FUN. WHICH IS A VERY NICE CHANGE FROM WANTING TO USE A BOOK AS KINDLING. I’LL KEEP READING. FULL REVIEW WHEN I’M DONE. #BOOKCHIT #ROMCOM #ROMANCEFANTASY
“ALRIGHT, I’VE OFFICIALLY GIVEN UP ON THE BOOK THAT WAS PISSING ME OFF. FOR NOW. I’VE DECIDED TO PICK UP SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD, AND SOMEHOW THIS NEW BOOK IS ALREADY DOING A BETTER JOB TWO PAGES IN THAN THE OTHER ONE WAS MANAGING TO DO ENTIRE CHAPTERS IN. WHICH IS NICE. I’LL GIVE IT A FULL REVIEW ONCE I’M DONE, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO JUDGE AN ENTIRE BOOK WHEN I’VE BARELY STARTED IT. THE BOOK I’M READING NOW IS DREADFUL BY CAITLIN ROZAKIS, FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW. THE BEING WHO RECOMMENDED IT TO ME SAID IT WAS A ROMANTIC FANTASY, SO THAT’S WHAT I WAS EXPECTING GOING IN. I’M ONLY TWO PAGES IN, BUT I’M ALREADY APPRECIATING THE WORDING A LOT MORE THAN I WAS WITH THE LAST BOOK. SO. FOR ANYONE INTERESTED IN ‘READING WITH ME,’ I GUESS THIS IS THE ONE TO LOOK FOR. I’LL REPORT BACK WHEN I’VE ACTUALLY FINISHED THE DAMN THING. AND YES, I’M AWARE THIS HAS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO ME STARTING A FUCKING BOOK CLUB. DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD. #BOOKCHIT #ROMANTICFANTASY
DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ACTUALLY GETTING INVESTED IN VTUBERS BUT ITS A THING THATS HAPPENING FOR ME NOW.
YEAH SHOAL CRESTIDE. HE IS A VTUBER WHO IS AN OTTER? BEING? PRETTY NICE GUY AND SAT WITH ME FOR 4 HOURS AS WE JUST CHATTED ABOUT RANDOM STUFF. ((HE IS A REAL VTUBER, I DONT CAME TO KNOW HIM PERSONALLY BUT I DID FIND HIM TONIGHT AND HE WAS REALLY COOL IN STREAM.))
ok see, here i thought you were going to like, name someone cursed. like crelly.
WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? I WAS JUST WATCHING ONE OF MY USUAL TWITCH GUYS FOR CODING AND HE HAD US RAID SHOUL. HES A TOTAL SOFT, FEM BOY.
crelly is a cow. she is cursed. don't worry about it. you don't need to know anything. i've probably already told you too much.
I ALREADY LOOKED INTO HER.. AND YEAH I WOULD SAY THATS CURSED. NOT RALLY INTERESTED IN FEMALE VTUBERS THOUGH. THEY ALWAYS SEEM LIKE THEY ARE TRYING TO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THEY ARENT? OR MAYBE I JUST LIKE SOFT BEINGS.. IDK. U LISTEND TO HER VOICE FOR TWO SECONDS AND WAS LIKE “SHES ALREADY GIVING ME A PAN-ACHE.” SO NO. BUT SHOAL. SHOAL IS GOOD.
i mean i can't exactly blame the horny bait. it gets views. and, views are money. but i know i can't be that kind of person.
OH THE HORNY BAIT ISNT THE PROBLEM. ITS THE HIGH PITCHES. IVE BEEN HAVING TROUBLES MORE AND MORE FOR THOSE HIGH PITCH SOUNDS AS IVE GOTTEN OLDER.
FUCK YOU EGBERT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. @GHOSTLYBIOLOGY
OH VERY FUNNY. STOP CALLING HIM MY LITTLE MONSTER. I KNOW ITS ONE OF YOUR SILLY EARTH MOVIES BUT I DON’T WANT HIM GROWING UP THINKING HE’S A MONSTER.
that movie was a great movie. don't start disrespecting it when i know for a fact you liked it just as much. and calling him my little monster is no worse the. calling him a “little clown”.
IT IS WORSE BECAUSE THE WHOLE CLOWN THING IS PART OF HIS HERITAGE. CALLING HIM A MONSTER IMPLIES HE'S DONE SOMETHING BAD.
no it doesn’t?? man i really have to get you to read “where the wild things are”. maybe you’ll understand then what i mean by monster.
HEY CHITTY, HOW DO YOU GET YOUR BOYFRIEND TO STOP CALLING YOUR GRUB MY LITTLE MONSTER? WAIT, NO, DON’T SEND THAT TO CHITTER. STOP.
OK SO I HAVE A GRUB. AND BEFORE ANY OF YOU START, YES, HE’S FUCKING ADORABLE. I KNOW. I HAVE EYES. HE’S GOT GAMZEE’S HORNS AND HAIR, MY TEETH, AND SOMEHOW THE COLOR OF THE INSIDE OF A FUCKING BANANA. HIS BLOOD IS THAT SAME WEIRD YELLOW COLOR, TOO, BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THROW A MUTANT BLOOD INTO THE MIX. HIS TEMPERATURE IS ALSO ABSOLUTELY FUCKED. HE’S COLD. NOT ‘OH, HIS LITTLE HANDS ARE A BIT CHILLY’ COLD. I MEAN COLD AS A CORPSE. I’M CONSTANTLY HAVING TO WRAP HIM UP, CUDDLE HIM, OR GIVE HIM A WARM BATH JUST TO GET HIM BACK TO A TEMPERATURE THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME THINK I’M GOING TO HAVE TO START SCREAMING FOR A MEDIC. WHICH, OF COURSE, HE LOVES. THE SECOND HE GETS INTO WARM WATER, HE STARTS MAKING THESE LITTLE CHIRPS AND HONKS AND GETS THIS LITTLE GLEAM IN HIS EYES. AND I SWEAR TO GOG, IT’S THE EXACT SAME LOOK GAMZEE GETS WHEN HE’S ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING THAT’S GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERY DECISION I’VE EVER MADE. SO THAT’S FUCKING GREAT. I’VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WORRYING ABOUT WHETHER I’M ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF HIM. HE’S SO SMALL, AND THERE’S SO MUCH THAT CAN GO WRONG WHEN YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMETHING THAT CAN’T EXACTLY TELL YOU WHAT IT NEEDS YET. BUT I’M FIGURING IT OUT. I’M LEARNING HIS LITTLE SOUNDS. I KNOW WHICH ONES MEAN HE’S HUNGRY, WHICH ONES MEAN HE WANTS TO BE HELD, AND WHICH ONES MEAN HE’S PROBABLY ABOUT TO GET INTO SOMETHING HE SHOULDN’T. I’M STILL WORRIED. PROBABLY ALWAYS WILL BE. BUT I’M STARTING TO THINK MAYBE THAT’S NOT ENTIRELY A BAD THING. MAYBE IT JUST MEANS I CARE. …AND, YEAH. I’VE GOTTEN PRETTY FUCKING ATTACHED. IF HE MAKES ONE OF THOSE LITTLE HONKS AT ME, I’M GETTING UP TO SEE WHAT HE WANTS. WHICH IS FINE. HE’S MY GRUB. I LOVE HIM. I’M PROBABLY GOING TO REGRET POSTING THIS LATER, BUT WHATEVER.
YEAH. JUST KEEP A BUNCH OF BANDAGES ON HAND AND BLANKETS TO KEEP YOUR CLAWS FROM MEETING HIS OR HER BODY TILL AT LEAST ONE MONTH. THEY ARE LIKE SUPER DELICATE AT FIRST AND GROW HARDER SKIN AS THEY GET OLDER. ITS LIKE IT NEEDS TO DRY OUT A LITTLE. BUT ALSO KNOW THEY CAN TAKE MORE OF A “BEATING” THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. THERES A LOT OF SQUISH THERE FOR A REASON.
8=l < This is good information, thank you 8=l < I'll keep it in mind 8=l < And human terminology does have a way of creeping into the vocabulary doesn't it
YEAH TELL ME ABOUT IT. STRIDER HAS HAD ME WRAPPED AROUND HIS LITTLE FINGER FOR GOG KNOWS HOW LONG AND BECAUSE OF IT I KEEP ENDING UP SLIPPING IN THE HUMANS WEIRD LEXICON OF TERMINOLOGY.
“WEIRD BUT CUTE”,HUH? …YEAH. THAT’S MY GRUB. HE’S A LITTLE FUCKING WEIRDO, BUT HE’S MY LITTLE FUCKING WEIRDO. AND, OBVIOUSLY, HE’S CUTE. I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT. …NOT THAT I’M SAYING IT AGAIN BECAUSE YOU AGREED WITH ME OR ANYTHING. BUT YOU’RE RIGHT. HE’S FUCKING ADORABLE. LOOK AT HIM. I MADE THAT. WELL—OBVIOUSLY I DIDN’T MAKE HIM BY MYSELF, THAT WOULD BE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE, BUT— YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I’M A LUSUS NOW. I’M ALLOWED TO BE PROUD.
never said you weren't allowed to. you'll do ok. i don't know shit about this so i don't got any suggestions. just don't let it chew on cables or something. glad you're doing fine i guess even if you're not mine.
SORRY. KIND OF CRAZY PROTECTIVE RIGHT NOW. I DIDN’T MEAN TO COME OFF SOUNDING LIKE AN ASSHOLE THERE. AND THANKS.. ALSO WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NOT YOURS? WHAT EVEN IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ME?
mine as in you from our timeline. we met a couple times during the game and it's been a while.
YEAH I REMEMBER MEETING YOU A FEW TIMES IN MY TIMELINE TOO BUT I DIDNT KNOW IF YOU HAD SOME SORT OF DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP WITH ME THERE. IF YOUR VERSION OF ME IS ANYTHING LIKE ME THEN HES PROBABLY ALIVE, IN PAIN BUT ALIVE.
NO ONE TELLS YOU THAT HAVING NO A GRUB CAN BE A FUCKING HANDFUL TILL YOU HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE WHOLE THING YOURSELF. I SWEAR I HAVEN’T GOTTEN A PROPER DAYS REST SINCE THE LITTLE HONK MONSTER HATCHED. LUCKY ME JOHNS TAKEN OVER WATCHING HIM TILL IM DOING EATING AND BATHING.
YOU’RE HEARING THAT YOUR GRUB FINALLY HATCHED AND THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY IS YOU WANT TO PLUG ME UP WITH ANOTHER ONE..? GAMZEE, AS MUCH AS I WILL ADMIT I DID LIKE THE ATTENTION AND THE FEELING OF… YOU, I DONT KNOW HOW WELL I WOULD DO BALANCING TWO GRUBS.. NOW THIS ISN'T A NO, BUT A “IF YOU WANT THAT THEN YOU NEED TO COME HERE, MEET YOUR GRUB, AND TALK WITH BOTH ME AND MY HUSBAND TO BE.” #NSFW #SUGGESTIVE
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WELL THATS BECAUSE I WANTED SOME TIME ALONE WITH HIM TO GET USE TO HIM BEING HERE. BUT THIS WAS A POST TO KIND OF QUIETLY ANNOUNCE IT. WASNT EXPECTING THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAY TO ME AFTER WE STOPPED BEING MOIRAILS TO BE “SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE.”AND IM STILL CHILL ABOUT THE HANDS OFF THING BUT YOU DESERVE TO GET TO KNOW YOUR OWN BLOOD RIGHT? ASLP DONT BE SO WORRIED. HE ISNT BAD, JUST LOUD… AND TALKATIVE. SHOULD HAVE FIGURED HE WOULD PICK UP MY TRAIT IN THAT. AND IF DAVE SAYS WE DONT HAVE ROOM THEN WE DON’T HAVE ROOM. SO UNLESS YOUR PLANNING TO TAKE ONE TO RAISE YOURSELF THEN MAYBE ITS BEST WE DONT HAVE ANOTHER? PLUS THIS ONE HAS ALREADY BEEN TYING EGDERP AND I UP. DAVES BEEN HELPING IN HIS OWN WAYS TOO. LIKE GETTING ME FOOD WHEN IVE BEEN TO BUSY.
bRoThEr i ??? i dIdN'T KnOw wE BrOkE Up fEr rEaL. lIkE I ThOuGhT YoU AiN'T WaNnA N ThEn yOu nEeDeD Me fOr tHe lAyInG N StUfF. wAs a bAd tImE FoR It wItH ThE FuCkIn tEnSiOnS BeIn aLl hIgH. ... I GuEsS YeAh, StIlL WeIrD KnOwIn tHe lIl gUy mInE. wElL YoU Do bE YaPpIn bRoThA. YoU WaNnA GeT Me kNoCkEd uP MaN? dUnNo iF I CaN FeR ReAl. )o:
GAMZEE YOU CAN BE SO DENSE SOMETIMES. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KEPT TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH ME. I DIDNT WANT TO BREAK UP BUT YOU KEPT GOING ON ABOUT WANTING TO BE WITH KANKRI, AND HOW HE UNDERSTOOD YOU BETTER SO I DESPITE NOT WANTING TO, GAVE UP. I RATHER NOT HURT YOU. AND I DIDNT WANT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL BECAUSE OF OUR GRUB. I WANTED TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL BECAUSE YOUR YOU. WHAT KIND OF MOIRAIL HOLDS BACK THE OTHER IF THEY DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I ACTUALLY STOPPED BEING THERE. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY ANYTHING. CHECKED CHITTER LIKE TWICE A NIGHT TO SEE IF YOU EVER NEEDED ME OR WANTED ME. I KEPT MY PROMISE. IM STILL HERE. AND YES I KNOW “I DO BE YAPPING”. IT’S KIND OF MY THING IF IT ISN'T DAVE'S. WHICH TRUST ME HE COULD TALK NONSENSE CIRCLES AROUND ME TILL I FOUND MYSELF TOO DIZZY TO KEEP GOING AND HE WOULD STILL BE. I LOVE HIM AND WOULD LISTEN TO HIM FOR HOURS BUT HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE LONG WINDED LOOK LIKE A SLOGAN FOR THIS.. UH… FAMILY? THATS WHAT THE HUMANS CALL IT AT LEAST. AND I WASN’T SAYING I WOULD TRY AND GET YOU KNOCKED UP THOUGH IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GO THAT ROUTE I WOULDN’T MIND TRYING BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME EVEN IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD BE TO NERVOUS TO TAKE CARE OF THE EGG OR GRUB YOURSELF. I WAS SAYING IF YOU KNOCK ME UP AGAIN YOU’RE THE ONE TAKING CARE OF THE EGG, AND EVENTUAL GRUB. WOW I AM IN A MOOD TONIGHT. #NSFW #SUGGESTIVE
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I KNOW YOU DON'T TRY TO BE GAMZEE. IT’S AT NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN TO BE THAT WAY. AND I DON’T BLAME YOU FOR IT EITHER. I KNOW IM GOING TO KICK MYSELF FOR ASKING BUT WHY DID YOU STILL THINK WE WERE WHEN YOU PRACTICALLY BEGGED TO BE WITH KANKRI? I TOLD YOU TO GO FOR IT. I TOLD YOU I WOULD STILL BE THERE BUT THAT I WAS HURTING. I EVEN CHANGED MY STATUS TO SHOW I WASN'T WITH YOU ANYMORE SO YOU COULD PURSUE HIM WITHOUT HAVING ME HOLD YOU BACK. SO WHY DID YOU THINK WE WERE STILL TOGETHER? HELL IF I KNEW YOU STILL SAW US TOGETHER I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO REACH OUT MULTIPLE TIMES BECAUSE I STILL WANT YOU TO BE MY MOIRAIL AND I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU AND WORRY ABOUT YOU BUT I THOUGHT YOU CONSIDERED ME UNWORTHY OF IT. AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I NEVER SAW YOU AS A BOTHER. YOU DON'T IRRITATE ME OFTEN AND EVEN ON THE RARE CHANCE YOU DO UPSET ME WHICH REMINDER IS A NORMAL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP EVEN WITH MOIRAILS, IT DOESN’T MEAN I WANT TO JUST STOP CARING ABOUT YOU. OK SO I DO HAVE A BIT OF APOLOGIZING TO DO FOR SOME OF THE WORDS I SAID BUT ILL DO THAT IN PRIVATE BECAUSE I RATHER NOT GIVE CHANCE OF SOMEONE STEPPING INTO THIS CONVERSATION AND MAKING THE APOLOGY SOUND LESS THAN WHAT IT IS. HONESTLY DAVE AND I TRY AND GET OUT WHEN WE CAN NOW. IT’S JUNE WHO’S BEEN A HOME BODY. I TAKE THE GRUB OUT AT LEAST ONCE A DAY TO GET A GOOD LOOK OF THE OUTSIDE TOO BUT IM KEEPING THE PROPER SOCIALIZING TO A MINIMUM TILL HE'S BIG ENOUGH TO NOT GET SUDDENLY SICK. AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMIND ME THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE YOUR LUSUS AROUND. I REMEMBER. I STILL THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD ONE BECAUSE THAT FEAR YOU FEEL IS THE SAME FEAR I FEEL ABOUT THIS. THAT FEELING OF “WHAT IF I FUCK HIM UP..? WHAT IF I SAY THE WRONG THING AND CHANGE HIS LIFE FOR THE WORST?” BUT THE ISSUE IS THAT IT’S A WHAT IF. YOU WONT KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY AND AS LING AS HE DOESN’T END UP BEING CULLED BEFORE HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN CHOICES OR GETS HURT REALLY BAD, THEN HOW BAD COULD I OR YOU REALLY BE AS LUSUS? IT’S SCARY BUT HE NEEDS ME NOW BECAUSE I MADE A PROMISE AND I DON’T PLAN TO BREAK IT.
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OH MY GOG, GAMZEE. YOU DO DESERVE THINGS. HAPPINESS BEING ONE OF THEM, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. AND DON’T TAKE THAT AS ME GETTING ANGRY AT YOU. I’M NOT. I’M NOT UPSET WITH YOU EITHER. I JUST… I WISH YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOU SOMETIMES. I KNOW YOU’RE NOT AT FAULT FOR HOW YOU WERE RAISED. BUT IF YOUR LUSUS HAD JUST BUCKED THE FUCK UP AND ACTUALLY TAKEN CARE OF YOU LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO, MAYBE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE SPENT SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE THINKING YOU HAD TO EARN THE RIGHT TO BE WORTH SOMETHING. BECAUSE YOU ARE. YOU’RE CAPABLE. YOU’RE STRONG. YOU’RE SMART. HELL, YOU’RE EVEN FUNNY SOMETIMES. BUT EVERY SINGLE PART OF YOU THAT MAKES YOU YOU IS PART OF WHY YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS, RESPECT, AND LOVE. SO LEAVE THE SELF-DEPRECATION TO ME. I’VE GOT YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. …AND, YEAH. I KNOW I’M NOT EXACTLY ONE TO TALK. I’VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT MY OWN FUCK-UPS TOO. NOT THE ABSTRACT KIND. THE SPECIFIC ONES. THE TIMES I SAW YOU SHUT DOWN AND DECIDED YOU WERE BEING DIFFICULT INSTEAD OF ASKING WHAT HAD HAPPENED. THE TIMES I HEARD YOU TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE OUT OF SOMETHING THAT HURT AND GOT ANGRY BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO REACH YOU. THE TIMES I SAID THE CRUELEST THING I COULD THINK OF JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU COULDN’T BE THE ONE TO HURT ME FIRST. I REMEMBER YOUR FACE AFTER THOSE MOMENTS. THAT’S THE PART I CAN’T SHAKE. YOU’D GO QUIET, OR YOU’D LAUGH LIKE IT DIDN’T MATTER, AND I’D LET MYSELF PRETEND I HADN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I TOLD MYSELF YOU COULD TAKE IT. I TOLD MYSELF YOU KNEW I DIDN’T MEAN IT. BUT I THINK I WAS JUST TOO COWARDLY TO ADMIT THAT I’D WOUNDED YOU AND DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT. I CAN’T CHANGE ANY OF THAT. I CAN’T TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK OR MAKE YOU FORGET WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO HEAR THEM FROM ME. BUT I CAN STOP HIDING BEHIND THE FACT THAT I’M ANGRY OR SCARED. I CAN LISTEN BEFORE I START SWINGING. I CAN TELL YOU WHEN I’M FUCKING UP INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR YOU TO BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR BEFORE I NOTICE. I WANT TO DO BETTER. NOT BECAUSE I THINK I CAN SOMEHOW EARN FORGIVENESS IF I PERFORM WELL ENOUGH. I WANT TO DO BETTER BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KEEP SURVIVING ME WHILE I FIGURE OUT HOW TO CARE ABOUT YOU PROPERLY. FOR YOU. FOR ME. FOR THE LITTLE GUY. JUNE’S GOT HER OWN ISSUES TOO. ONES WE’RE WORKING THROUGH SLOWLY. IT’S LIKE LOOKING AT ONE OF THOSE HUGE BALLS OF YARN NEP’S BEEN BATTLING WITH FOR NEARLY A SWEEP. JUST A MASSIVE, TANGLED FUCKING MESS WHERE YOU CAN’T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHICH END YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO START PULLING. SHE’S GETTING BETTER, THOUGH. SLOWLY. SHE DOESN’T REALLY SEEM TO WANT TO GO OUT MUCH, WHICH… I GET. WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW MANY MISTAKES YOU’VE MADE IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, I IMAGINE THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO IS THROW YOURSELF BACK INTO THE WORLD LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. YEAH. WE DO KEEP GOING AROUND IN THAT CIRCLE, DON’T WE? BUT MAYBE THAT SAYS SOMETHING TOO. BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE PUSH, OR SNAP, OR SNARL AT EACH OTHER, NEITHER OF US ACTUALLY WANTS TO LOSE THE OTHER. AND I THINK THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT HOW MUCH WE RESPECT EACH OTHER, EVEN WHEN WE’RE BOTH TOO FUCKING STUBBORN TO SAY IT. WE’RE DIFFERENT. OBVIOUSLY. DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, DIFFERENT LIVES, DIFFERENT WAYS OF DEALING WITH OUR OWN BULLSHIT. BUT I THINK WE’RE MORE ALIKE THAN EITHER OF US WANTS TO ADMIT. WE BOTH WANT THE OTHER TO HAVE SOMETHING BETTER. WE BOTH WANT TO KEEP THE OTHER FROM SINKING AS LOW AS WE SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE WE HAVE. AND MAYBE THAT’S WHY WE KEEP FINDING OUR WAY BACK TO EACH OTHER. JUNE ALSO HELPS WITH OUR GRUB…WHICH MAKES IT A LOT LESS FUCKING TERRIFYING. BECAUSE TRUST ME, IF I WERE DOING THIS WHOLE LUSUS THING ALONE, I’D PROBABLY BE PULLING OUT EVERY LAST STRAND OF MY HAIR BY NOW. HE’S SO FUCKING SMALL, GAMZEE. AND SOFT. I KEEP THINKING ONE WRONG MOVE AND I’M GOING TO DO SOME KIND OF REAL DAMAGE. I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE KEEPING HIM SAFE, BUT HALF THE TIME I’M WORRIED I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M DOING. I CHECK HIS BREATHING WHEN HE SLEEPS. I WAKE UP IF HE MAKES A SOUND I DON’T RECOGNIZE. I KEEP REPLAYING EVERY TIME I’VE HELD HIM TOO TIGHT, EVERY TIME I’VE MISSED A HUNGER CUE OR TAKEN TOO LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHY HE WAS CRYING. I KNOW HE’S STILL HERE. I KNOW HE’S SAFE. BUT SOME PART OF ME IS ALWAYS WAITING FOR THE MOMENT I FIND OUT I WASN’T CAREFUL ENOUGH. AND THAT’S THE PART I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE I’M ABOUT TO FALL APART. I’M SCARED I’M GOING TO FAIL HIM. NOT IN SOME BIG, DRAMATIC WAY. I’M SCARED OF THE SMALL FAILURES. THE ONES THAT ADD UP WHILE YOU’RE TOO TIRED TO NOTICE. I’M SCARED I’LL TEACH HIM THAT LOVE MEANS BEING ON GUARD ALL THE TIME. THAT HE’LL LEARN TO FLINCH WHEN I RAISE MY VOICE. THAT HE’LL LOOK AT ME ONE DAY AND SEE SOMEONE HE HAS TO PLEASE INSTEAD OF SOMEONE HE CAN RUN TO. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE MADE TO FEEL LIKE YOUR NEEDS ARE A BURDEN. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO THINK ONE WRONG MOVE WILL COST YOU THE ONLY CARE YOU’VE GOT. I DON’T WANT HIM TO LEARN THAT FROM ME. I DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE TO EARN SAFETY. BUT THEN HE STARTS MAKING THOSE LITTLE CHIRPS AND HONKS OF HIS, AND SOMEHOW HE ALWAYS MANAGES TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE MAYBE I CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS. LIKE MAYBE I CAN KEEP HIM SAFE. MAYBE I CAN BE GOOD AT THIS. NOT PERFECT. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO PROMISE THAT. JUST PRESENT. JUST WILLING TO NOTICE WHEN I’M WRONG AND TRY AGAIN BEFORE HE HAS TO ASK ME TO. …I SHOULD WARN YOU, THOUGH. HE’S COLD. LIKE, REALLY FUCKING COLD. JUST LIKE YOU. I’M CONSTANTLY HAVING TO WARM HIM UP WITH CUDDLES OR BATHS, AND YOU SHOULD SEE HIM WHEN I TAKE HIM TO BATHE. HE GETS THIS LITTLE GLEAM IN HIS EYES. THE EXACT SAME ONE YOU GET WHEN YOU’VE GOT SOME PLAYFUL LITTLE IDEA BREWING IN THAT STUPID HEAD OF YOURS. SO, CONGRATULATIONS, I GUESS. YOU’VE APPARENTLY MANAGED TO PASS ON THE MENACE.
my gød yøu twø can i suggest maybe just having gam cøme øver instead øf having this super impørtant cønvø øn chittr
YOU GO OUT, HAVE FUN LIKE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO AND COME BACK FEELING SHITTY TO THE 10 DEGREE. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO AS A GOD IF THIS BODY JUST DECIDES ILLNESS IS THE BEST COURSE OF FUCKING ACTION? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE FUCKING SICK?
HAD A REALLY GOOD NIGHT OUT WITH MY SOON TO BE HUSBAND. ONLY HAD ONE ISSUE THE WHOLE NIGHT. OTHER THAN THAT THE ONLY WAY THIS NIGHT COULD GET BETTER IS IF BOTH MY DAVE AND JUNE WOULD COME TO THE CUDDLE PILE FOR A WHILE WHILE WE WATCH STUPID MOVIES AND MAYBE DO SOMETHING MORE. #HINTHINT #NSFW
SO UNDER A FRIEND’S REQUEST I’VE BEEN READING A “MANGA” BECAUSE SAID FRIEND WANTED TO TALK A BUNCH ABOUT IT AND FELT NO ONE WANTED TO. SO HERE I AM READING THIS THING AND… ACTUALLY IT’S REALLY GOOD? AND I KINDA LIKE IT? THE DRAWINGS ARE REALLY BRIGHT AND STUNNING WHILE ALSO GIVING OFF THIS SLIGHT UNEASE THAT YOU DON’T FULLY KNOW WHY YOU’RE FEELING IT TILL YOU’RE LIKE 50 BOOKS IN. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? AND IT’S NOT LIKE A ROMCOM OR ANYTHING BUT LIKE I ACTUALLY THINK I GENUINELY LIKE THIS. THIS HAS AT LEAST BEEN GIVING ME SOMETHING TO DO WHILE I’VE BEEN WATCHING MY EGG.
I SHOULD GET UP, BUT THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS MAKING ME SUPER FUCKING TIRED. I JUST WANNA GO BACK TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEP. BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE AROUND MY TWO RELATIONSHIPS. I JUST REALLY WISH THAT DAVE AND JUNE WOULD COME OVER TO WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW AND CUDDLE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. ALSO FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT, EGG UPDATE: IT’S COLD IN SOME SPOTS AND HOT IN OTHERS. THIS IS NORMAL BECAUSE OF HIS BLOOD COLOR BUT IT IT DOES MAKE ME WANT TO CUDDLE IT MORE. #EGGUPDATES.
WHY IS THE IDEA THAT I LIVE 400 ISH YEARS PAST THE EVENTS OF THE GAME HARD TO BELIEVE? THESE ARE NUMBERS I GET FROM OUR “GOD OF TIME” HIMSELF.
4 scøre and søme bullshit agø karkat was like 5 '1 and then pøst game he shøt up like a fuckinh invasive species
SO HELP ME DAVE I WILL BITE YOU SO HARD EVEN THAT STOIC FACE OF YOURS WILL SHOW EMOTION. I’M NOT AN INVASIVE SPECIES WHEN BE BOTH SHARE THIS PLANET. I STILL WISH THE TWO GROUPS WOULD GET ALONG ALREADY.
i knøw babe yøu're the best ever and i wørship the grøund yøu walk øn yøu knøw this
JUNE WON’T STOP TELLING ME TO SEND THIS SO HERE I AM. IN 6’2 WITHOUT MY HORNS THAT ADD LIKE AN INCH. AND BY DAVE’S DEFINITION I’M BUILT LIKE A BRICK HOUSE.
IS THAT REALLY THAT TALL? I MEAN FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN MOST OF US TROLLS END UP WAY TALLER.
WELL I DEFINITELY WILL BE TALL TO HUMAN STANDARDS BUT I’LL PROBABLY NEVER MAKE GRAND HIGH BLOOD HEIGHT. THAT I CAN BE GLAD ABOUT.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS UPDATE: ❤️: @/GHOSTLYBIOLOGY & @/TURNAROUNDGODTECH (ENGAGED 06/17) ♦️: UNFILLED. ♠️: UNFILLED. ♣️: UNFILLED.
THIS IS A REMINDER FOR ANY AND EVERYONE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ME. NEVER EVER LET ME DRINK ALCOHOL OR HAVE WEED. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF. JUST DON’T. I DON’T NEED A PART TWO OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. #SUBSTANCE
SINCE DAVE WANTS TO BE AN ASS AND TALK ABOUT MY TERRIBLE SITUATION AT THE DND TABLE, LET ME STATE THAT DAVE STRIDER @TURNAROUNDGODTECH PLAYED A BARD A WHILE BACK AND TRIED TO SEDUCE A FULL FLEDGED DRAGON AND ROLLED A NAT 1 AND SOMEHOW ENDED UP FALLING ON HIS SWORD IN FRONT OF SAID DRAGON GETTING IT TO LAUGH AT HIM INSTEAD AS WE HAD TO LEAVE THE DUNGEON TO REVIVE HIM. WHICH FAILED. HE HAD TO WRITE A NEW CHARACTER THAT NIGHT.
I’M GOING TO GO FUCKING CRAZY!! #VAGUEPOSTING
A LOT HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE IN SUCH A SHORT TIME. BETWEEN LEARNING TO HANDLE MY NEW ABILITIES THANKS TO JUNE USING HER POWERS TO GIVE ME MY GODTIER, TO GETTING PREGNANT, AND AS OF LAST NIGHT, LAYING SAID EGG, THINGS HAVE BEEN… FOR LACK OF BETTER WORDS, CRAZY. ALSO FOR THOSE WHO HAD MY PALMHUSK NUMBER CONTACT ME IN DMS… I HAD TO GET A NEW ONE BECAUSE I BROKE IT DURING ONE OF MY CONTRACTIONS FROM SQUEEZING IT TO HARD. I’M FINE, GAMZEE CLEANED MY HAND OUT AFTER EVERYTHING SETTLED DOWN, AND DAVE BANDAGED IT WHILE IT HEALED, WHICH DIDN’T TAKE LONG. THE EGG IS FINE TOO. NOW IT’S THE ISSUE OF FINDING A GOOD NAME FOR THEM AND FIGURING OUT HOW TO BE A GOOD LUSUS. ANYWAYS THIS WAS STUPID BUT I FELT IT WAS NEEDED I GUESS. #LIFEUPDATES #PREGNACY #EGG # NEWPALMHUSKWHOSTHIS
i dId lIkE YoU ToO Or sTiLl dO? i dUnNo yOu mAkE It hArD To fIgUrE OuT? tHoUgHt i wAs bEiNg fUcKiN ClEaR? tHeN BaCkEd tHe fUcK OfF WhEn i fOuNd oUt tHe lIkE SeT YoU HaD. dIdN'T NeEd nO MoRe fOlKs iN YeR ReD.
YOU’RE NOT STICKING YOUR NOSE INTO MY BUSINESS. SIT. YOUR. ASS. DOWN. JUST BECAUSE IT WAS OUT OF NO WHERE AND A LITTLE WEIRD DOESN’T MEAN HE DISLIKES YOU. HE MIGHT JUST FEEL A DIFFERENT KIND OF ATTRACTION TO YOU. I DON’T REALLY FULLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN YOU TWOS CONVERSATION BUT I KNOW BOTH OF YOU LIKE EACHOTHER A FUCKING LOT AND BOTH OF YOU KEEP TELLING ME BUT NOT LETTING ME HELP! SO EITHER WE DO THIS HERE, GROUP TEXT, OR SO HELP ME IN FINDING BOTH OF YOU, FORCING YOU TWO IN A ROOM WITH ME, AND MAKING YOU TWO TALK! SO BOTH OF YOU PICK YOUR POISON.
HUMAN RELATIONS ARE COMPLEX. I GET IT. BUT THEIR HATE AND OUR HATE ARE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS. OURS IS OUT OF A SEXUAL FRUSTRATION AND WANTING TO SEE THE OTHER BE BETTER TO THE POINT OF WANTING THEM DEAD WHEN THEY ARE BEING STUPID. IT’S MESSY AND PROBLEMATIC WITH A LOT OF TOUGH WORDS THE OTHER NEVER WANTS TO HEAR. THE HUMAN HATE IS THAT OF ONLY WANTING THE OTHER PERSON TO SUFFER. THEY DON’T WANT THE OTHER TO GET BETTER. IN FACT THEY WANT THEM TO GET WORSE AND IN THE WORSE KIND THEY WANT THEM TO DIE PAINFULLY.
sEe mAn, It aIn't fUcKiN Me )O: iT'S FiNe mAn, ReAlLy. I GoT A DaVe. YeRs dOn't wAnT Me.
HE FICKING TALKS ABOUT YOU LIKE YOUR THIS AMAZING GUY THAT HE CANT TOUCH BECAUSE HES “NOT GOOD ENOUGH”?!!38:):&/&3?;&:&2
m fEeLiNg tHe tRoLl kInDa hAtE Rn mAn. He's pIsSiNg mE ThE FuCk oFf aNd i'm oVeR It. He dOn't wAnNa bE ReD Or bLaCk. My qUaDs aRe a mEsS DuDe. I TrY To bE FuCkInG MaTuRe, MeEt fOlKs wHeRe tHeY At aNd iT'S NeVeR EnOuGh. QuAdS JuSt aIn't fOr mE, iT'S FiNe bRoThEr, SeRiOuSlY.
WHICH IS FINE, AND I UNDERSTAND. RIGHT NOW I WANT TO STRANGLE BOTH OF YOU WITH DAVE’S SHOE LACES. AND I’M NOT ASKING YOU TO BE MATURE RIGHT NOW. I’M ASKING YOU TO JUST BELIEVE ME ON THIS. CAUSE RIGHT NOW ALL IT FEELS LIKE YOU’RE DOING IS READING MY WORDS AND MAKING EVERY EXCUSE UNDER THE SUN TO PUT YOURSELF DOWN AND LIKE OTHERS CAN’T LOVE YOU OR CARE FOR YOU. HE’S NOT JUST SOMEONE TO YOU GAM. AND I KNOW THAT. HE FEELS THE SAME HE’S JUST BEING HARD TO UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW… I’M SORRY… I’M SORRY I JUST FEW OFF THE HANDLE LIKE THAT. I JUST HATE THE TWO OF YOU ACTING LIKE THIS WHEN I KNOW PERFECTLY WELL HOW YOU BOTH FEEL.