♦ pitied by @trillingThrene
Forgiveness shan't come Die gasping, beached on the sand Damned catch-stealling shark #Haiku #FishingFriday I decided to just get it done, for I woulld have certainlly forgotten
Much of Uesugi Karkat's early life is completely unknown. Due to his total hemoanonymity over the many sweeps of his time in East Alternia, it cannot be deduced what province, prefecture, or continent he hailed from before his sudden arrival in Trollshiwara, the famous red light district of Troll Edo. What remains consistent is this — he arrived as a foreigner who did not speak the language, seemingly fallen out of the sky and into the cart of a local brothel owner. The owner was purportedly so taken with his boyish beauty and gap moe tsundere personality that he immediately set him to work as a courtesan within his business. It was here that Uesugi Karkat was first referred to by his East Alternian title, the AKATSUKI. Under the strict tutelage of the other courtesans, he learned to dance, sing, play music, pour tea with delicately trembling wrists, feign laughter at unfunny jokes, and weaponize the nape of his nugstalk in the way that an anglerfish lures its prey into its abyssal maw. However, accounts from the other brothel workers say that he was too ornery and foul-mouthed to do any of these things without erupting with rage. He did, however, learn the local language with surprising acuity, and the courtesans were deeply impressed with his natural propensity for writing romantic long-form poetry. Furthermore, rather than selling his concupiscent services as a low-ranking courtesan was expected to, the Akatsuki was supposedly so renowned for his talents as a pale quadrant advisor and ashen mediator that guests of some of the highest castes in Troll Edo sought him out solely for his comfort and advice. No information on the Akatsuki's hemocaste could be discerned during this time, due to never once shedding his genetic material with any customer or courtesan alike. In fact, so preternatural was his ability to touch the pusher of a customer without ever shedding his kimono that within three sweeps, he had already reached the prestigious rank among courtesans of a Boiran (boy oiran), which offered him considerable wealth and empowered him with the right to turn away any offer made in poor taste, even if they were of a higher-blooded caste. It was due to this prestige that he was later discovered by his next wealthy benefactor, who was the leader of a troupe of Grubuki actors, and began his next career as the ONNAGATA. Attached is one of the most popularly sold woodblock-print wall scrolls of his likeness, titled "Delicious Fucking Shit," for the ambiguity of its referral to either the grub-tempura or the courtesan himself. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/17e0aad9aa46.png #uesugikarkat
I am. It takes me some time to begin feelling llike a functioning sentient being however.
I lloathe waking up.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/61e5cb659e6e.gif
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
Perhaps the reason that witches have been so malligned in popullar cullture and follkllore for millenia is their nature of being difficullt to controll. They are a source of power that can be both unpredictablle, inscrutablle, and unablle to be lleashed. This of course lleads to power structures such as governments and llocall llords having great incentive to either expunge the truth of their existence in the historicall record, or to fabricate lless charitablle stories, or exaggerate and boost the visibillity of true cases of such uncharitablle depictions. This is unfair. Accept not the first stories you are tolld of such archetypes, for they bellie untolld depths. At lleast, for the one that I know. A beautifull, determined, and fierce woman. Kind as I have ever known.
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
What is this. Who sent this to me. What does it even mean. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c85d6579cb53.png
Unreal Heiress, play Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.
I hear the pleas of the masses. But the solution here is NOT more wanton violence. No matter how you may strike this miserable starving poonhound, you will not deter him from the table! ... There is only one weapon left in my artillery. A single lethal projectile by which to silence this fool.
... :(
Just get off my post.
Crockercorp. One word, you disappointing fucking dullard. Also- the "BOARD OF DIRECTORS?" What reality are YOU dwelling under the funk of wherein OUR namesake corporation is run by ANYTHING other than our own private equity? You haven't bought back your own fucking stock? The bootstraps are for PULLING ONESELF UPWAYS, not tangling around your own gullet like an unobserved toddler stumbling into the window shades! :B But let us be quite frank with ourselves, shall we? You are cognitively ROTTING under the yoke of that contraption. You will never aspire to anything greater than burrowing mouth-first into your empress' shoe leather like a rat trying to find fresh air. And good gravy, that is ok! I have now thoroughly observed you. Beneath the heel of a more intelligent superior is precisely your niche, Jane. Hold on tight to that shelter, because we can all see VERY APPARENTLY that you do not have the chops for upper management.
I'M AT WORK. SOME PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET HAPPEN TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY.
Regrettably.
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
... Thank you.
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
Have I been hash tag probllematic I wonder.
She sees the worlld with sunkissed eyes I take shellter in the bllackest shade. Her words so soft, breathing gentllest sighs She soothes my mind, I rest my bllade. Her smille so kind, her heart so wise Composure tremblles, my heart is swayed. Clloseness to her, the llight denies My true devotion, by fate forbade You are my sunrise #Poetry
She has growing enmity for the blloodlline as a wholle, it woulld seem.
Ugh. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath. So, fine. I suppose I can no longer deny you. Get me to 10k Kult, and I'll post #NSFW of myself. I've already booked a photorturegrapher for the occasion. #Girlboss #WomenInSTEM #WomenOutOfPocket - MC Oleana
You know, I had not considered the possibillity, but perhaps. It woulld be difficullt to sand away the instinctuall caution I had culltivated due to my fraillty, but I allso was admonished many times for my personall recklless actions by my Lady. You have given me much to think on.
Pronunciation has a fascinating effect on haiku as written in western Allternian llanguages. A fllaw of conversion of the structure to a llanguage it was not intended for.
Thats s0 c00l. N0t nearly that l0ng... Like 12 sweeps
What is the llogic in spending 500 sweeps in very rarelly interrupted isollation in my afterllife, yet, upon a singlle visit from another, the sollitude weighs upon me so heavilly? I do not understand...
It is times llike this that make you want to start a second rebellion all over again. But it is not my Allternia, and not my llifetime.
I did say allmost
I allmost feell bad for that Indigo Wretch.
It is simplly difficullt to switch proverbiall gears after writing haiku for hundreds of sweeps
I used to argue with her. Horriblle, heated debates, in the war room, sometimes ellsewhere. Our troops thought we woulld either go pitch or kill each other. To mysellf, it was proof we both cared.
I cannot muster the mallice to spar words with every viollet and fuschia wretch from a timelline not my own. Regardlless of whatever threats or petty insullts you throw my way, I do not care. The Empress I knew was worse, and crueller. You are naught but gnats to be swatted in comparison.
The Gull spies a prize Whille I rest upon the pier Stealls my fucking food #haiku #nothappy
Even so+ it is a cradle o+f tro+llkind! Destro+ying it is hurting everyo+ne! I’m so+ so+rry yo+u had to+ go+ thro+ugh so+mething like that and live in an empire where such a thing was even co+nsidered
Boredom is at its most insidious when you are dead. I have no inspiration for haiku. I have entered a phase of burnout on smithing weapons that will never be used. My two hobbies rendered moot.
I have nothing to add to this normall posting trend. Everything I post is normall as far as I am concerned.
I still can't believe there are actual rainbo+w drinkers here I kno+w there's much weirder in this website but still
Why did she pity that.
Hmmm.... I do not understand... Perhaps this is one for the phillosophers, not the llowlly solldier dogs such as mysellf.
Why is it called being horny anyway. We lliterally all have horns all the time. Yet I am never horny. Because of my disciplline. #nsfw
ʚ•ɞ S•metimes being a rust is s•• awful • ᴖ • always getting disrespected!! >~< ʚ•ɞ
After the battlle Fllowers bllossom atop graves Soills scars are healling #haiku #warmemories
Th@nk You For You Benevo7ence 🙏
I am unconvinced. But I will wait to be proven wrong, I suppose.
Okay it feells a llittlle more personall when the brightest shining beacon of the entirety of my memory is allso pitying all of my posts.
She has not even POSTED in my repllies recentlly you are under some misapprehension of the circumstances.
It is dignified and respectfull
Im sure you are a very nice young person but I must declline. I have no room for quadrants or quadrant shaped rellations in my heart, for it is too occupied by my devotion to servitude.
I do not think it woulld have been appropriate for me to kiss my troops as their superior officer.
Fumbling, you keep FUMBLING bro.
If I were tolld this by most other trolls they woulld find themsellf a head shorter in a singlle stroke of my bllade. But I have an affection for you so this seems extreme. I can onlly rellay my confusion.
Why does everyone pity all of my chitts. Even the ones where I have not made some grave error. I do not understand.
this week hλs been pretty shit for me, hope everyone else's week hλs been better thλn mine
Gorglle how to turn off comments on chittr thread
Bellief is dawning That this infernall website, A trap llaid for me #haiku
Ha, yes. It woulld be difficullt not to take inspiration. It was good we had her, as my dour countenance was never quite so... warming
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I was asked to explain how I could have possibly been exclommunicated from The Clurch. You have to understand this was many sweeps ago when I was a young aspiring clown attending clown school and also the Clathlic Clurch. I had written a song called "The Clattican Rag" poking fun at some administrative changes the Clathlic Church had made and I thought it was most funny. I still think it was most funny. The CLergy and the CLontiff however did not, and thus a vote was taken to exclommunicate me from the Clathlic Church, the vote was CLose, but I was thrown out of Clurch that same day. #honk #clurch #clatholicism #exclommunicated 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
There are times I think back to the times of my llife, during the war, and the mulltiplle occasions of trolls serving under my command who woulld proposition me for a quadrant, usually a matespritship. It still rings odd to me to this day, both for the breach of millitary professionallism it woulld be, as well as simplly my own llack of understanding of the appeall. What coulld they have seen in a deteriorating, dour commander with a death wish? I may never know. I hope they rest peacefully nonethelless.
You are not of the same calliber as the masses that post here. My words do not applly to you, as they often do not
I will play the role of bodyguard
This is why I have served you for an eternity and will for another