♥ liked by @turntechStrider

I’m still working on the whole #mpreg thing.
consort tip: in order to ensure safe crops and stable income through the winter, prepare a generous food offering to your local consorts! we will fix all your problems
OKAY, LET'S REINTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM COMMANDER VANTAS. HE/HIM, THEY/THEM, FUCK/YOU. YES, I DO HAVE A VIOLETBLOODPUSHER AWARD. YOU WILL RESPECT ME, OR I WILL CULL YOU WITHOUT HESITATION. ALSO I HAVE A YOUNG FUCHSIA IN MY CARE. IF YOU HURT HER, YOU DIE. DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT THE WAR. CULL YOURSELF. MY INTERESTS ARE: BEING BUFF WITHOUT WORKING OUT EATING LOTS OF FOOD(REQUESTS GO HERE: HTTPS://FORMS.GLE/853JNGZEM42JUREM9) ROMCOMS ROMANCE IN GENERAL, SPECIFICALLY THE QUADRANT KIND ♡: @CARCINOLOGYGENARCH ◇: @TURNTECHSTRIDER ♤: NONE. ♧: NONE, NOT LOOKING. IF I GET A KISMESIS I WANT TO BE ABLE TO OBLITERATE HIM WITHOUT SOME INTERLOPER CATCHING STRAYS.

WELCOME TO THE FUCKING ARAPOCLYPSE WHERE MORE OF ME JUST KEEP FUCKING SHOWING UP.
Bread.

WE’RE GETTING THERE!

GREAT NEWS ON THE #MPREG FRONT! Or bad news, depending which side you're on.
Attempt number 20 of @condesceVessel trying to do anything useful
On the side of Daves vs @condesceVessel, I'm on the side of Dave.

:33 < its the best!! :33 < ragebait!!

sure sure sure i know you enjoyed it

too late were talking about it

Don't threaten me with a good time. ,'B)

nah ill shut up when i want to

#davehour happened

Nah.

yes we are

Soooo....

so much happened yesterday

rip.

we are talking about it
I have an announcement, and I think now may be a fine time. In the middle of an odd DirkJake feud I'm too elated to care about slogging through. @casanovasAnchor and I will be with child. I'm far too excited to really articulate the words. I love him~ he has been the highlight of my life every day. #pregnancy #nsfw #ilovehimsomuch

i'd fuck sømeøne før søme ølive garden rn #nsfw

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ 𝙸magine creat.ing a timeloop .orgy stable enough to br.ing you swww.eeps of pleasure ╰┈➤ Every nowww. and then you remember www.here you'll need to be ╰┈➤ You're go.ing to return to the scene of all your alt selves, a different role every time, you get to .exeperience it all ╰┈➤ Touch.ing yourself www.here you've learned is best www.ith age ╰┈➤ .Exeplor.ing newww. th.ings www.ith your future self just to see if you can handle it

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Dave hour sounds so erotic imagine them fuckin

hello my fellow daves. whats new these days? #davehour

> #daveh0ur g0 my davel1ngs
hear me out this fine #davehour but what if we started feeding bees apple blossoms to get aj flavored honey

#DaVeHoUr rEaLlY HiTs dIfFeReNt tHiS TiMe (O:

Me seeing another #Davehour: Aw so cute so cute.
yeah i'll get involved in #davehour strider? i hardly know her. i'm also gay
I feel like a lot of you have HD. Eighty of them to be exact. #psychology #puns #davehour

So how are my fellow #davehour participants?
hey dont spring #davehour on me like that
#DAVEHOUR GO DAVE I GUESS.

oh- another one? #davehour

#DAVEHOUR FUCK YEAHHH

awh shit #davehøur again hell yeah

go my davelings #davehour

0

as the clock strikes 6 the second iteration of #davehour falls upon chittr i call upon all the daves to post for the next hour but wait theres more dave hour is for everyone who wants to participate i ask you use the tag for following/blocking purposes and have fun

Is this a countdown to Dave Hour or something?

1

I didn't even notice the Davebot countdown, sorry. I'm pretty sure my Sec of Defense was having a stroke.

5

10
STRIDER SUGGESTED THAT I LEARN THE ENTIRETY OF HUMAN HISTORY THROUGH "EPIC RAP BATTLES" FEATURING HISTORICAL FIGURES. I AM STARTING TO DOUBT THEIR EDUCATIONAL VALUE.

I will n◯† re§Pec† y◯uu if y◯◯◯uuu wwww◯uldn’† eȺ† †he Ⱥ§§/n◯◯k ◯f §◯me◯ne †wwice y◯ur §iize ◯r m◯re #n§fw #iiiddr◯wnini† #willingly

soon

I'm never beating the Strider meat-riding allegations.

I will look into it! Thank you for the recommendation.

Glad we're still discussing #mpreg. Myself and my team are currently working on it, I promise!
I throw my used car batteries in the ocean.
God fucking damnit kris where the HELL are we? https://i.postimg.cc/sDQYXHQf/Screenshot-20260610-130157.png

Gog Fucking damnit. https://i.postimg.cc/K86qNxN9/Screenshot-20260610-085120.png
I JUST MADE AN ACCOUNT AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS A NEPETAFEST. ANYWAY, HELLO CHITTR.

Straight Pride month but in the way they should be ashamed the rest of the time.

Why do I suddenly have a water gun

SHIT: IT’S ALWAYS HAPPENING
₍^. .^₎⟆ Ch!ttr won’t let me l!ke posssts :,3꠹

i am pitching my idea of a karkat themed theme park to karkat right now. it's called 'karkat's sex land'! #nsfw #commodore64

ah, i've done ThaT wiTh faygo unforTunaTely, i drank five boTTles of iT. i could feel my filTerorgans shuTTing down.

me earlier honestly ended up napping cause of it

YEAH...

SSSSUNDAY… #VAGUEPOSTING

One of these days I’m going to actually fight during #FightNight and just freak my entire Cabinet out.

mario and luigi voice: 🔨

Glad to know my Cabinet no longer considers my attendance at #FightNight to be a security risk.

Mind you he's still going.

Matesprits don't even say "Good morning, I'm back in the office by the way" anymore, they just look at you like this.

Every hour is #StriderHour when you have one on payroll who says concerning things and then leaves for 2-5 business days.
-> Strider Special, Apple Juice Is Half Off = Your Total Is $[comedic Number Value]

made this account took a power nap and proceeded to forget i made it for like an hour anyway hi hey whats up cool cats

Excellent work!

Take your medication.
batman or his lesser knovwn counterpart manbat
New quest: Embark on an adventure in the 𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙒𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙨 and find 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙚𝙨 of any size and quality (0/4)

AAAAND THERE'S A BULGE MEASURING COMPETITION TO SEE WHO HAS THE BIGGEST. IM NOT POSTING MY SIZE. LOOK, ALL I WILL SAY IS IYKYK. #SUGGESTIVE

It is now time that I rest. I encourage you all to do the same, if it is that time of day for you. If it is not, then I encourage you to have a good day. If you cannot naturally produce a good day, store-bought is fine.

Which one I was attempting to ragebait? None, at the moment. Although I have been getting far with saying "No, I don't think your 15 year old son should drink, and yes I will tell him to his face."

Glad to see that last one is getting mixed reviews from the Strider population.
thinking about the new animal

Life is too short. Ragebait that Strider.

Had to make sure I didn't submit this one.
i think @turntechgoghead is really fucking hot man. like gog damn thats beautiful. would let him hit ngl ♥︎ #suggestive; #concupiscentanonymously ♠

QUESTION 1; FROM "YA BOY DAVE." "HEY HOTSTUFF HOW YA DOIN LATELY?" WELL, I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN DOING QUITE WELL. ALSO, IM TAGGING THIS UNDER #AAMAE IF PEOPLE DONT WANT TO SEE ALL THESE REPLIES.

Drone Strike to @groK headquarters is inbound, don’t worry.

I FEEL LIKE DOOM FROM WHAT I HEARD MIGHT SUCK BUT I THINK THATS DEPENDANT ON CLASS.

I do it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. The majority of my constituents fall into either (or even both) category.

For the record, my matesprit did not slide into my DMS. He simply posted a Chitt about how he made a trebuchet, and I have been harassing him ever since.
//have no ic reason to post this but felt like sharing this little doodle I did of tuna ... during his weird psionic accideny...... cuz im legally required to post every tuna i do on here ok so #gore but also. I dont know wtf the flash tag would be on here. #flash #flashing #flashwarning #cw-flash #epilepsy-warning let's just be safe and use every variation I could think of ok...?. ok https://file.garden/ae6oRvOtfC9BcMqQ/OWWW%20FUCK%20OW.gif
꒰petplay but i run into the street and get hit by a ≼ar #nsfw ?????꒱

🤗💛💛
WheNN you put it iNN does it look like it disappears or caNN you see how it's gettiNNg squeeZZZZed oNN
#nsfw Chat I wanna fuck the invisible manᴮˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ
Hello everyone it's me draculaᴮˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ ᵇˡᵉʰ
these little humans, dave, i get hotflashes thinking about them, very handsome young men ♥︎ #concupiscentanonymously ♠

*craping noie*
before i knock the fuck out, i just need people to know that i would kiss another version of myself and honestly im kind of down bad, im just that sexy yknow as in all the versions of me, every me as a whole is hotter then a piece of metal baked in the aussie sun #selfcest #nsfw hoping its early enough that not a lot of people see this tbh, goodnight

MANGOES. * -- IMPERIALISTHALCYONITE [IH] HAS POSTED A VIDEO! --* *ITS QUITE LITTERALLY JUST A MINUTE AND A HALF VIDEO OF EATING AN ENTIRE MANGO IN WHAT LOOKS TO BE A PARK DURING THE NIGHT.*

bought a vibrator that connects to spotify wanted yall to know i think this is how eminem was meant to be listened to #nsfw

In a true tie, we would duel like honorable individuals.

I am so sorry I destroyed everyone's whimsy on this fine Wednesday.

I’m like if an Honorary Strider was President.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA OBLITERATE A BATCH OF APPLES.

true... pretty s1ck photo, ngl... }:)

While humans are descendants of apes, trolls are descendants of insects. So yes, I do know what you are getting at.

I keep scaring HR because every time I mention any member of my Cabinet as "creatures" and not people, they get anxious that I'm going to get a lawsuit filed. But that is simply how I view some of them. Knytte is not a troll to me; they are a creature. That is a bug that has developed sentience and how moves of it's own volition, and I respect them very much. They are just simply not a troll; they are a creature. An entity in the most non-threatening sense of the word.

With my constituents. straight up 'chitting it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. My policies.
dave help me Domino's Pizza is proud to sponsor #DaveHour. Support Striders: Support Domino's. #ad #sponsored
fuuuuuck i want mommy to touch my puppy parts in an inappropriate way #nsfw This post was sponsored by Domino's Pizza! Visit dominos.co.uk to think inside of the box and experience pizza like you've never tried it before. Use code "DAVEHOUR" for 10% off all orders over £10! Domino's Pizza: Think Inside The Box. #ad #sponsored https://file.garden/aeOMvmIuTArjgbHp/dominos.jpg
never should have sold my fucking account for weed money jesus fucking christ GameStop: We have the games. #ad #sponsored
Hmm! ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* @turntechStrider has received a new badge!! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

I love myself, Dave (platonically), Uh my bro, H.A.L. #Loveyourselfhour

You can come see, I’m still just staring at its remains. I didn’t know you humans had the capacity to do that.

If anyone needs me I will be in the DoD lab until further notice. Not because I’m worried about any of the workers, but because this motherfucker really just beat an imperial drone to death with his bare hands and I would like to know more about that.
sometimes self care is eating a bowl of Unflavored Rice https://i.pinimg.com/736x/5f/6c/a3/5f6ca3651fd759ab6c1e9176ad18a0cd.jpg #Daveposting
goodebyee https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e73ed82a33af.png

historically accurate knight a..nd their sword
they're going to get me in two minutes.
dave strider fortnite skin leak

love my fellow daves. #davehour

Personally, in honor of #DaveHour, I will share my favorite #DaveMoment I have experienced. It was when a certain Dave Strider variant sent approximately 10,000 chrysanthemums to the Gray House because I said it was my favorite flower. How sweet.

huzzah #davehour
they started to run out of printer ink when makeing me
guess my names dave now. also i found the diary of fucking SATAN in my Attic....surely this wont go wrong https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c3/69/e6/c369e6a49a150ebb1da08211a385e14a.jpg

quick daves post before they silence us #davehour
at first i believed dave t⌖ be an individual, but reCent events have lead me t⌖ the hyp⌖thesis ⌖f dave being s⌖me s⌖rt ⌖f hivemind? i must say, i laCk the pr⌖per w⌖rds t⌖ e⚔press my grand disappr⌖val.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1304585028977561683/1503575225378279544/4be38fcc-9ee7-4d5d-bf99-464ac1ffacf5.png?ex=6a03d90c&is=6a02878c&hm=2c27f3fd79e02a259ec0289221897ece734937b89e62852040bed149d7f70962&

:33< night of the one billion daves gog damn :33< hey nyall

e #davehour
reddit dot com forward slash davestrider visit for all your dave strider related opinions / questions

v #davehour
this is an ironic statement

10 minutes remain fellas

Council of Daves...

a #davehour
so. stairs huh. whats the deal with them. we ever crack that case?

Keep going daves we have 14 minutes
i destroyed texas with a meteor the size of rhode island

That’s where you’re wrong; they all are, in fact, the coolest.

Very proud of all the Daves in #Davehour. I'm sure my kid would participate if he weren't busy working on his rap song.
I make.,,. helga geoff and delectable bother

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c5850ce56969.png

this is great. i love this.
Glad to be considered an honorary Dave for #DaveHour

I am a proud supporter of #DaveHour. I like those fellows a lot!

yess we grow
group strider fistbump right now get in here bitches

hey daves we have 20 minutes left keep it goin

p(′Д`゚q) WHAT HAVE I DONE
How I feel watching #DaveHour commence because I'm not a Dave. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c8226325879c.jpg

I HEARD THERE WERE AN INFLUX OF STRIDERS AND I CAME AS QUICK AS I COULD.

whos the oldest dave here? all the decisions will fall on you #davehour

kickin it back at #davehour.
//every fucking discussion would just devolve once a third dave entered the discussion and become "shit dog that is absolutely correct" "thank you my man i know youve got my back" "shit is it genius o clock in chat or some shit because it looks like thats the only people typing" "dude you could not be more right if you tried" in a self-congratulatory masturbatory loop until vriska started yelling at them to shut the FUCK up. good times.

can... can we combine #davehour with #hornyhour? #nsfw kind of

well do another one one day randomly so its a surprise
why are there so many of this guy
// getting flashbacks to when i was in a homestuck roleplay discord with 10 daves and i was one of them

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/95103289c605.png

caw
#davec0re https://www.y0utube.c0m/watch?v=glxBF1S7RWc

love what i started lmao
i supp0rt daveh0ur 0ut 0f time player s0lidarity

#davehour Though I'm not Dave.

hmmm your wifi is just a little slower now

dont ask why my red is lighter than most daves its none of your business #davehour

( ̄□ ̄;)First the baby tree now I accidentally called in all Daves what have I DONE

daveing up the place yk

i swapped the salt and sugar

',B|

i moved the table two inches to the left good luck

does dsprite get to be included in #davehour?

\( ̄▽ ̄)/ Well yes, but I've seen three in one go! Is this the Davening?

oh damn it looks like its #davehour

go my davelings wreak havoc on the general public

who up daving it? #nsfw

( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) I noticed an up spike of Daves spawning...
We have made it...to the tenth person...to be assigned a flower by me.... I feel...so warm and fuzzy...knowing that many of you...enjoyed these so far...(^ . ^ ❀) Ehem... @turntechStrider your...assigned flower...is the scarlet sage...! (^ o ^ ❀) The scarlet sage...is known from growing in warm...and highly elevated areas....you exude...the warmth of a sun...yet using your shades to shield yourself...from the very rays...(^ . ^ ❀) Their...symbolism...is that of immortality...and wisdom...your..."sick bars"...called to me on that regard....and your ascension...(^ . ^ ❀) The coloration....also reminds me...of bright fires....a burning passion...burning desires...something I believe...you may harbor deep inside...(^ . ^ ❀) #flowerassigning https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/725bdf018721.jpg
YOU. M-E. GAS STATION. W)(at are we getting for dinner? Sus)(i of course. U)( o)(, t)(ere was a roofie inside of our gas station sus)(i, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fis)(; )(orny fis)(. You know w)(at t)(at means. Fis)( orgy, t)(e stenc)( draws in a bear. W)(at are we gonna do? We're gonna fig)(t it. B-EAR FIG)(T. B-EAR )(AND-ED. B-EAR naked? o)( yes, please. We befriend t)(e bear after we beat it in a brawl. t)(en we ride into a c)(uck-e-c)(eese, dance dance revolution. R-EVOLUTION? OV-ERT)(ROW T)(-E GOV-ERNM-ENT? u)(, I t)(ink so. next t)(ing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus C)(rist. T)(en i turn into a jet, fly into t)(e sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, w)(ite out w)(ic)( i didn't know you could do, t)(en i smoked a joint. Greened-out, t)(en i turned into t)(e sun. u)( o)(, looks like t)(e met)( is kicking in.

There need to be more incredibly jacked men on my timeline. I miss them.

Oh I forgot to mention but you can kill Troll Klay Thompson with a gun by the way. That’s allowed.
i elso would enjoy intercourse with an alternative version of myself ♥︎ #nsfw; #concupiscentanonymously ♠
*I mean image links! And media links in general. For avatars, banners and such! It's always a shame when somebody's pretty pictures are obscured.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE.
I did...my first ever fight night...! (^ o ^ ❀) I didn't win... but I still had lots and lots of fun..!! (> o < ❀) Thank you @turntechStrider for letting me fight you...even though... our "beef" was...mostly none existant... (^ . ^ ❀) #fightnight

Fuck it we reffing at #FightNight.

I am still planning on attending #FightNight, for the record.

2oon(tm) G3t your 2hit tog3th3r folk2 cau23 w3 op3ning thi2 bitch up 2oon! #FightNight in 15. B3 r3ady and b3 th3r3 or b3 2quar3.

Thinking about #SELFCEST.

Good for them! Good for them!

Oh these bitches are gay.
SBURB v.2026.5.7 Released. Please see website for download and fork. Patch note changes: - Certain consort permutations do not spawn upside down when entering a new world. - Updated recipe list for alchemixer to involve new combinations of items. - Slightly increased grist drop rates for larger enemy constructs. - Dersian/Prospitian relations have been tweaked to be made 5% more hostile, but involve 30% more comedic slapstick to balance early game tensions. - Tiamat bossfight nerfed slightly due to unfair advantage caused by overspawning of minions; romance sub-route scrapped due to lack of time. - Planets now spawn in a more consistent psuedo-spherical pear shape per consistent algorithmic generation matching habitable spheres. - GUI mouse click tweak adjusted to avoid accident bathtub friendly fire. Please send any feedback, glitch reports, and reccomendations to @sburbDev for further research and refinement of the game experience. Copyright SKAIANET 2026(C), all rights reserved.

Okay that's enough Chittr.ing for today.

What do you mean the fucking Power Rangers are here now. When will the madness end.

Https://i.postimg.cc/vzmvfmnv/album-2026-05-06-18-39-42.gif

Https://i.postimg.cc/dy1gsg5n/album-2026-05-06-18-57-06.gif

Https://i.postimg.cc/fzlxgkv7/album-2026-05-06-18-58-29.gif

Https://i.postimg.cc/d1d63sxp/album-2026-05-06-19-00-30.gif

Https://i.postimg.cc/n0spq08b/album-2026-05-06-19-21-01.gif

GOODNIGHT CHITTR.

We are bringing back the 5 boondollar footlong.

(:B

I'VE BEEN IN MY MEMOSPACE RESPITEBLOCK FOR A FEW HOURS NOW JUST CHILLIN' WITH A DAVE AND I GOTTA ADMIT. THIS IS NICE. LIKE, REALLY FUCKING NICE. WARM, COZY, GOT SOME HELLA GOOD MUSIC GOING, AND LAUGHING WITH A FRIEND. IT'S NICE. HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.
Not s)(ore if t)(is counts for t)(e better )(ttps://i.postimg.cc/6387N5sc/Screens)(ot-20260506-153459-2.jpg

:33< i know right?

Holy shit that's awesome.

:33< *the mighty huntress does a cool backflip*

Sorry of those of you who are currently being forced to listen to "All Of the Lights" on repeat. I just tend to do that sometimes.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SLID INTO HIS DMS WITH ENOUGH SEDATIVES IN MY SYSTEM TO KILL A LUSUS

gang he did slid into my DMs, he was sedated as hell but he did.

bite my shiny metal ass #nsfw

I know you always got me, Hate Bot https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1343e2a61ff7.png

Game recognize video game

What is a troll? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk... Have at you!
i went from being a quadless kissless hugless virgin to having my quads and holes filled in 12 hours thanks to today's sponsor gamer supps. ♥︎ #nsfw; #concupiscentanonymously ♠

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100001 사랑해요! 愛してます! 我爱你! I love you!!

#Corvidposting https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a7224065a033.png
People only )(ate on me because I'm full of joy and w)(imsy And t)(at I'm way glubbing )(otter t)(an t)(em >8D
*Remember! It'll all be okay as long as you do your best. #tips #tutorial
☣-🗡-@TURNTECHsTRIDER UR EASY TO DRAW (IN A GOOD WAY DW!) HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/K6vXPW4P/2026-05-04-127-kLEKI.PNG #VIREXASDOODLES/=

go my davebotlings
☣-🗡-rEPLY 2 THIS AND I'LL DOODLE YOU. (MUST HAVE YOURSELF AS UR PFP, DURR)/=

there is still time f0r some0ne two make a truly b0ld statement at the #midnightcitygala https://64.media.tumblr.com/53578f3514fd214953412533156c3c23/d723208d180da200-4a/s1280x1920/6c3a23eeb79a0ad19c55023947539e33499cb568.png #nsfw (not really but everyone knows how risque bread is)
@turntechStrider Little do you fucking know. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60934c57a933.PNG
D —-> I imagine it would feel disturbingly… incredible

Haha no guys I wasn’t going to actually drone strike the grub caverns. You guys are so silly. I didn’t have to active the emergency disengagement. That would be silly.

Wait guys my bad she still might win. Waiting on confirming that drone strike.

With all due respect I am a war criminal in every universe. Have you ever heard of Syria? I bombed the hell out of Syria. It no longer exists.

This is the most important thing I could possibly be doing.

Perhaps they should take better care of their grubs and not allow them to be loud and wrong on game shows.

I will kill them.

ABOUT TO BE 2 OUT OF 10,002 BY THE TIME I’M DONE.

((Beautiful… I can sense you in every lifetime.

What a delightfully absurd and pleasantly spooky album—bravo, Neil Cicierega. https://open.spotify.com/album/4ocal2JegUDVQdP6KN1roI?si=trFi0n3jQJGbIvTfzdvHcg #MUSICPOSTING

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7257ca25ea40.png
"Selfsects"? No, I don't lead any splinter religions. Do people do that? What?
man kar over there got me hella interested in doin whatever the hell hes got goin on with that other him idk what its called but like imagine me and another me dude i think thatd be sick as fuck caw anyways just having #nestthoughts theyre like shower thoughts but when youre a bird and youre nesting send chitt

https://(dn.img(hest.(om/files/b3a048e70a9(.jpeg m7 three latest followers - moxie, rox7, and bara(ks7

I Need An Asiago Bagel So Bad It's Bordering On Carnal. #nsfw

When I find myself bored, I tend to produce little mechanical sounds—rather like I am doing now… beep… boop… beeeep.

cod, you )(AV------E NO ID------EA )(OW MUC)( MOR-------E FUN IT'LL B-----------E!

Feel Very Strongly About Something Or Someone. Post About It In Aching Detail.

my r&d people invented a golf ball t)(at )(omes in directly into t)(e grey matter of organic life. it avoids fusc)(ia bloods, and it certainly wont kill t)(at green ol' brute on account of )(is time s)(it, but once all t)(is golf stuff is over, )(a)(a)(a)(a)(a)(a)(, )(-----EADS WILL LIT------ERALLY ROLL!

o heyyyy same
thanks dude i thought so hard about what my first chitt should be and i was like hey i should make my first chitt be about wanting a grilled cheese and then boom this amazing chitt was made

"Mr. President, a second Bro Strider has hit Chittr.ing." https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/raw%20fear.png

"You've posted that before" And I will post it again. It's a banger, and you likely forgot about it anyway. Let me live.

Contrary to popular belief, drunk driving is perfectly legal. It’s the drunk crashing that gets dicey. #substance

Hehe " 69 " Hehe.

:33 < commeowssion requested by @walkstabwalk :33 < of @barackobama and @unhackabledottildeuath :33 < get ratio'd https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/07d395ae1872.png

moving up in the world https://i.g7azo.(om/d22a80(809875e0326d69ef2588(14fb.png

Lol. Sorry I guess. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/sorry%20i%20guess.png

If that's YOUR boss, why is he in MY replies getting called "Kitten"? That's all I'm saying... #LEBait.

Also for the record, I'm going to start ragebaiting Lord English in my replies because I think it's funny. If you do not want to see that content, I recommend blocking the tag "#LEBait," because I will at least tag things appropriately.
TO CLARIFY. I DO NOT SHIP IT. BUT I WAS GIVEN A REQUEST. AND FELT THE NEED. TO BESTOW #YAOI UPON MY FOLLOWERS. #NSFW. #DAVEKAT (GROSS). https://file.garden/adp8DWZQKVR-NRQW/yaois3.png
@turntechStrider It seems you’ve settled into somewhat of a state of domestic bliss with your matesprit @carcinoVantas . As your lesbian ally, I salute you. Karkat, your boyfriend has requested a fortune telling, and so therefore I must simply see to it that Orbie and I do this service to the utmost quality. You understand, surely. To be unwittingly subjected to a reading, however, makes things slightly murky. I see the two of you in the near future… somewhere dark, that smells like detergent. There is a window, perhaps a porthole, fogged over. A handprint slaps upon it suddenly. Is it an attempt to escape from something lurking within the darkness? Be wary of horrorterrors. And other creepy crawlies that lurk in laundry rooms. *Eyebrow wiggle*. #askorbie for more fortunes.
\ the daves are swarm1ng. l1ke a murder 0f cr0ws. 0m1n0us /

We survived the great Rick Roll of '26. #WeSurvived
\ the fuck 1s 1t? str1der saturday? calm y0ur sh1t daves /

Very proud of you, Mr. Strider!

looks like dad's the same in every fuckin' universe lmao!! XD

#birbposting https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/18070696bac1.png

Freedom, at least. I admire your dedication, @daveStrider. Everyone else, I am proud to announce he has finished his song. Feel free to scroll through his profile to enjoy it. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/FREEDOM.PNG
the daves have become a hive mind
This is the least damaging thing to happen to this website, for the record. And the song isn't that bad.

I apologize. Those are, unfortunately, two of mine. They are almost done, I assure you. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/sorry%20guys.png

what the fuck is gOIng on

* Hits my record player harder with the aid of @aventurineCopycat *

Okay, sorry I think I fixed it.

Hold on guys my record keep skipping one second. This joke has been made in conjunction with @aventurineCopycat

If nobody got me, I know my dear constituents got me. Thank you, all, for helping me ratio that guy into oblivion. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/frick%20yeah.png

Shirtless Strider oiled up wrestling.

concept: you can barely breathe between them like this your matesprit on one side and a perfect duplicate of them on the other theyre both making it their mission to unravel you two sets of lips on your neck four hands exploring the parts of you they both know far too well their identical voices whispering in your ears "which one of us are you going to start with?" "or would you rather just watch us have all the fun together instead?" (tags: Reader/Matesprit/Matesprit, #rankworks, #selfcest, timetravelplay, paradoxspaceplay, flushfic, redrom, threesome, #nsfw, exhibitionism, two of them, archive rating: M)
That Lord English fella looks extremely suplexable off a cliff. No reason.
*[...] Three HEROES appear at WORLDS' edge. A HUMAN, A TROLL, And a PRINCE FROM THE DARK. Only they can seal the fountains and banish the ANGEL'S HEAVEN. Only then will balance be restored and the WORLD saved from destruction. [ https://file.garden/ad5G09foF0kAW8K_/PROPHECY.png ]

was mostly just pizza!
🪸🦑🦀🌊🫧 if i were t𖦹 c𖦹nsider h𖦹sting a fun beach day 𖦹n the island where my hive is l𖦹cated w𖦹uld any𖦹ne actually sh𖦹w up??? ive never thr𖦹wn any s𖦹rt 𖦹f party like that bef𖦹re but ive been making new friends lately and thinking ab𖦹ut fun stuff we c𖦹uld d𖦹! 🐠🐬🌀🌺🐠

! PRESENTIAL ANNOUCEMENT ! I have just been informed @hellaJeff's boy, @stairsFaller, has joined Chittr.ing, so I'm actually fine now. In other news, I will be sitting on the floor of the DoD lab until further notice.

Alright, we're all just going to be really really cool about a bunch of stuff really really quickly. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/raw%20fear.png

mr troll president another strider has hit the timeline

https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/newscms/2021_36/1703436/ss-160909-911-attack-mbe-630_5.jpg

Oh okay so Lord English is following me now. Feel like I should probably inform the Cabinet about this one. It’s probably fine, right?
> Karkat Vantas - Pinned Post THIS ACCOUNT MAY CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING: NSFW, NSFWE, SUBSTANCE, GORE BOUNDARIES INCEST: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 SELFCEST: YES. SEMI-SITUATIONAL DEPENDING ON THE PERSON NSFW RP: YES KINKS: ASK INFO SEXUALITY: BISEXUAL HEIGHT: 5'2 WEIGHT: 143 LBS WEIGHT CLASS: MIDDLEWEIGHT LORE THIS KARKAT IS FROM A TIMELINE WHERE THE TROLL SESSION ENDED WITH THE PATH TO THE REWARD BEING DESTROYED. THE HUMAN SESSION WENT ABOUT THE SAME AS CANON. MURDERSTUCK ALMOST HAPPENED, BUT KARKAT WAS THERE TO PREVENT GAMZEE'S SPREE (WHICH HAD KINDA SCARRED KARKAT INTO FEARING SOBER GAMZEE). ALL WHILE ERIDAN WAS CALMED BY KANAYA. METEORSTUCK WENT THE SAME ASWELL BUT WITH ALL THE TROLLS ACTUALLY ALIVE. EVENTUALLY, THERE WAS A COLLISION WITH THE BETA SESSION AND ALPHA SESSION, MERGING THE TWO SESSIONS INTO ONE. THE MERGED SESSION WENT FAIRLY WELL AND IN THE END, EVERYONE GOT TO THE ULTIMATE REWARD. HERE IN EARTH C, HIM AND DAVE LIVE TOGETHER IN THE TROLL KINGDOM IN A GOOD HIVE WHERE THE TWO CAN BE HAPPY. NOTE WHILE DAVE AND KARKAT ARE IN A COMMITTED MATESPRITSHIP, THEY'RE BOTH FINE WITH EACH OTHER ENGAGING IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY OUTSIDE OF IT I ALSO GO BY carcinoVantas ON PESTERCHUM https://i.ibb.co/GvT7n6Xq/karkat-ref.png
:// . . / 770 54 1. ? =640& = & = &=1 2984264 007 83 20799 267 5914
genuinely whar is wrong with you all
print("hehehe 69 people online hehehe")

The Cabinet would politely agree to disagree. We have added a “common sense” clause to murder charges, as well as allowed service workers to cull one unruly patron a year. By all means, feel free to stop her if you feel that strongly. But I will not be.

Ma’am, we are currently operating under a “talk shit, get hit” code of conduct.

I KEEP SEEING PEOPLE I KNOW FROM MEMOSPACE AND IT FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA KNOW I'M A FUCKING FREAK!!

WORD.

HEY DAVE.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

Y34H

You would not believe your eyes. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/10bc27ff042c.png

So, are you ready? Did you eat? Do you have the energy? Are you reloaded? Are you able to stay on your feet?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/4626e86ab86acf0298e0fc1c1dd4a6b8/9a278df737d68079-a9/s1280x1920/cd911e5cfb51d8e58c7c7a8e2498d7a02a86ab56.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1490429768170995883/1499836879007125665/IMG_0882.png?ex=69f63f71&is=69f4edf1&hm=3dde921f7a387bee59c7915f1b9a34ec78f8f13e3295ef2dbb04b6747bb00267&
Certainly quite a way to bounce back from Fight Night, if I do say so myself.

- Good evening, everybody! 👋😁 Don't let those end-of-the-wipe wiles get to you! Tonight is Funday, but don't let stop you fromm Handling Business! 😆😆🙌 - If you feel the spirit of the Wipeend Warrior calling to you a little *too* loudly, just check out mmy mmotivational immage below! 😁👍 - https://i.ibb.co/9mmBr2BS2/2Q.png

I’m sorry, we have a fortune teller now?

Mods, twist the balls of the Dave that's chitting one word per chitt.
The original mundaneAsylum at your service We are : - > A system of 150+ - > A system who recently got into homestuck (I'm sure you can see where this is going) - > Bodily transmasc && AGABpunk - > Very unstable and can react badly very easily </3 - > Otherwise very friendly and open to chat - > Very new and not sure how to use this site to its fullest yet - > Australian!! *(cough white cough)* I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing here with this pinned thing but we'll see I s'pose! I'm sure we'll figure it out as we go along :] Thankyou for checkin me out! ————————————————— Sysmates' blogs are as follows : - > Dave/Dove Strider == @turntechGodskull - > more to come
hTtPs://i.pInImG.CoM/736x/8D/27/e9/8d27E99209812360Dc147a7a8aCcC4F1.jPg 🤣🤣🤣
hTtPs://i.pInImG.CoM/CoNtRoL1/736X/Ad/60/Bf/aD60bFd1fFe73B7188a1fCb079cBa002.JpG

Thank you, I named him Broseph. No relation to my Secretary of Defense.

Thank you my scarab.

I didn’t realize I also taught my scarab the “tuck me in and give me an Advil and some water” command.
@cF https://media.tenor.com/HSSYDHiF818AAAAe/dantdm-twin.png

B(

I think as a society men need to wear less clothes.

I am proud to report the fanservice is now fanserving.

Biden please cancel my meetings, men are currently losing clothes and engaging in combat. I must go. They need me.

I truly believe this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/im%20so%20touched.png

In times of crisis, please note it is always acceptable to blame Ronald Reagan.

God I love when they do that.

unavoidable.

Clearly I still have a thing or two to learn.

I have come with fantastic news regarding the laboratories and pharmaceuticals currently operated by Miss @cmallieEntertainment! Health of Health & Safety, Mr. Sabbot (@alarmingApothecary), has confirmed all labs have been deemed up to code for the sweep 5123, and cleared them for TFDA approval; all Callie Mallie labs have been APPROVED for the production of Estrogen and Testosterone, in light of her recent application for the approved production. Excellent work, Callie!
At the low, low cost of $5.99/month on top of your Plush Perv tier subscription, you can gain access to candid breakup footage from the archives as well as indistinguishable-from-reality #HAL-generated #JakeDirk #DirkJake scenarios. #PlushRump #HappyFriday #RankBait #NSFW

men. #nsfw
🔪ThiS haS haD mY dumB asS cacklinG foR TEN MINUTES I AM FUCKIN R O Y A L T Y!! HAHAHA https://i.pinimg.com/736x/89/7d/cb/897dcbff1575284c72fc84553e5f5bfb.jpg🩸
collected all the wwyrm orbs to summon the wwishwwyrm and if youre wwonderin wwhat i wwished for an your name happens to be SOL wwhy dont you go measure your forehead freak

That’s going in the vocab IMMEDIATELY.

GET DOWN MR PRES1DENT... CATEGORY 5 STR1DER TH1RST TRAP 1NCOM1NG... @barackObama @tactfulTactr1un https://cdn.1mgchest.com/f1les/bdd10668d19a.png
To those of you who have become concerned with the behavior of a certain.... oliveblood ( @helloKhaos ) not to worry! @goddogComplex and I have gotten them a lobotomy scheduled
Starting a help project for @helloKhaos blatantly simps for Zebruh Codakk and needs professional help therapist trolls message me PUH LEASE

Bulge. #nsfw

Why are there people from TF2 beefing in my mentions right now. I'm the fucking President. I have a trebuchet. I have LALONDES.
"[]KE" TH]S POST ]F YOU []KE "HAMMERS" HTTPS://WWW.ESTW]NG.COM/WP-CONTENT/UP[OADS/2026/03/PROD_SURESTR]KE_NA][_HAMMERS_MRW16C_01_2000X2000.PNG

freaking heck!!
Thank you President @barackObama I've been meaning to GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME SCUM BUTT.

~#nsfw~

#showermaxing Is Fine And All, But Have You Tried #bubblebathmaxing? No, You Haven't. That's Why Your Cortisol Levels Are So High. :>
Weird thing my avatar does, apparently if I eat something my tongue then turns that color.

Don't fucking do that.

Might fuck around and say a bad word later.

i will write new standards of unsafety in t)(e workplace, so )(elp me
I misread this as Orange Juice and thought you were enamored with the beauty of a beverage.

They're showermaxxing.

I could be riding bulge right now. #nsfw

It's not gay if you say "no homo" right?
I really like this "unquirk" button. Didn't know what it did at first. Very human accessible website you got here.

KAR(KAT) VANTAS - carcinologyGenarch •• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• Karkat "Kar" Vantas | 9.7 Sweeps Kar is a mutantblooded troll living on Earth C after the end of his session. He's from an alternate timeline where everyone (including the sprites) was given a second chance at life after they traveled to Earth C. His session remains the same as the canon SBURB/SGRUB session, mostly...a few things remain different, though. Kar is GOD-TIERED. He is a fully-realized SEER OF HEART, but he doesn't really fuck with his abilities as a Heart player. He has wings like the other god-tiered trolls; however, due to his mutant genetics, his wings in god-tier are tiny and therefore useless to him. His personality is somewhat similar to canon Karkat's, but Kar is overall much more lax on a daily basis. He gets along well with his friends. He is friends with his universe's Dave - aka "Corvid" (@timetableGodhead) •• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• Do note that Kar is my KINSONA. He is based on me, and carries over a lot of aspects of myself. Kar is DISABLED. He deals with chronic pain and a heart condition and is reliant on his mobility aid - a cane. He's often very fatigued and prefers to just chill and rest. He is also TRANSMASC - he uses He/They pronouns! He doesn't mind just he/him or just they/them, though. Here is his reference!: https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e8905d7f2248.png (Art is by me!) I'm MULTISHIP, don't be afraid to hit me up to plot something! I also enjoy actual roleplays from time to time. I don't bite. (:B You can find me on PESTERCHUM/TROLLIAN and Discord under the same username! I'm carcinologyGenarch on both. •• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• ACCOUNT WARNINGS: #nsfw #substance and potential mentions of #abuse





























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