Cronus Ampora
@aeneasCaldarium
just another highblood looking for lovwe in all the vwrong places ;) 6'0" and single. dms open ask me things: https://forms.gle/oJue9x88Q6N7nQV19 ((Pfp by @caligulaAscendit))
im a generous lovwer, but for selfish reasons.
literally me:
You know, you were fairly on the money with this last one 8ut I'm not sure this is the right direction....
Wow. WOW. 8lind self confidence is SUCH a 8eautiful attri8ute to o8serve. Chris Evans???? WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW!!!!
i said this guy is literally me, chris evwans plays him. put tvwo and tvwo together toots.
yknowv, i didnt remember hit song by the vwapors, "turning japanese," being quite so human racist. vwhoda thunk it?
maybe i should start playing vwith alchemizing again. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, but sgrub can do some crazy stuff. i tried making an amulet of sexual provwess once, though it turned out to be an amulet of making people say youre avwesome in bed evwen though youre not. it vwas pretty much just as good, honestly. #nsfwv
or u could, like, make outfits like a normal person!!!!!!!!!!! make me a leather jacket but better than yours.
i alchemize outfits all the time and it’s v fun. u just need imagination, cro.
*looks at the camera.* im vweird about sex because theres something vwrong vwith me. #nsfwv
if that babe doesnt get back to me vwith permission- vwait no, youre the dude one. double nevwermind.
theyre calling me the first ethical pervwert.
here, lemme cite another source. https://chittr.ing/profile/aeneascaldarium/aa900f4d-a208-4c4c-813e-1ad725fb8c19
That’s the invalid same p9st, darling. Did y9u get y9ur links l9st in the clip69ard?
here, howv about this one? https://chittr.ing/profile/aeneascaldarium/aa900f4d-a208-4c4c-813e-1ad725fb8c19
N9 dice. N9t an ethical pervert 6y any means, 6ut a pr9per tr9ll definitely.
WHAT MAKES PERVERSION ETHICAL? OOH, GETTING REAL PHILOSOPHICAL HERE. IT TAKES A SENSITIVE GUY TO ANSWER THAT.
#me
light player girls are riding my ass for my #ableism #sex post not being medically accurate :'(
(( #ableism #a-lot-of-ableism #mental-health-discussion #misogyny #nsfwv #nsfvwe #dubcon #cwv-self-harm #cwv-eating-disorder #abuse #cwv-toxic-relationship )) alright, youvwe all been asking for it, so here it is: mental illnesses listed by fuckability. s tier: antisocial personality disorder - they say dont stick your bulge in crazy. i say im already dead anyvways. nook from a girl vwho hates you and evweryone else is alvways a treat. shes probably into some freak shit too. bipolar: best of both vworlds. if shes manic, shes got energy to burn and is more likely to say yes to things. if shes depressed you can do some free use, prone bone type stuff, and shes less likely to say no. dependent - self-explanatory. lowv s for being annoying. a tier: borderline - damz is gonna vwhoop my ass for not putting this in s tier. thats vwhy this aint in s tier. i lovwe a gal vwhos crazy in the sheets, not so much a gal vwhos slashing my tires. narcissism - dunno vwhy this is evwen here. i lovwe self-lovwe! i also lovwe a gal vwhos gonna advwocate for herself. none of that "oh im fine vwith vwhatevwer," this kinda gal is gonna tell me vwhat she vwants and howv she vwants me to do it. anorexia - should this evwen be here? this is a vweird tierlist. this is just betvween a and b. i dont mind a gal vwho vwants to look good and is gonna hang off my evwery vword for vwalidation, but i prefer my babes vwith some meat on their bones. this is the type of babe id bring to olivwe garden, see if vwe cant carboload her and add some curvwes to all the right places. b tier: autism - kink scene special interest? hot. often socially isolated and desperate for approvwal? hot. its vwhen theyre going on about something lame that i get tired of em. ocd - similar reasoning to autism. compulsion to bob her head up and dowvn ten times vwhen shes blovwing me? hell yeah. compulsion to flick the light svwitch on and off ten times? cmon, im trying to read. anxiety - this aint evwen a real disorder. this is terminally online land, all of you havwe anxiety. neutral rank because this is nothing. c tier: paranoia - this dont sound like a real dsm diagnosis and i dont care to look it up. if the girl could be convwinced im the key thatll solvwe shit, fine, but i dont need her assuming im out to get her or something. im a straightforvward guy, im nevwer gonna lie about vwhat i vwant. its irritating. depression - only savwed from a d rank because you can sometimes convwince em that their body (specifically it getting fucked) givwes em some sorta useful purpose. vworst comes to vworst, theres some freeuse livwing potential vwhere she just cant care about getting fucked. adhd - fine, but one time a gal i vwas doing forgot vwe vwere havwing sex and tied the condom into a balloon animal. histrionic - a vweird inclusion, this tierlist sucks. this is the vwoman disorder, im pretty sure. big vwhoop. ptsd - the thousand yard stare is a real vwriggly killer. d tier: panic disorder - im barely evwen sure vwhat this means. i just figure i dont vwant anybody panicking in bed vwith me. seems awvkvward. schizophrenia - this is spelled vwrong in the tierlist thing, aint it? vwell, im not about to get cucked by the hat man. pass. avwoidant - i need her to not avwoid me to do her. thats the vwhole point. bulimia - breath mint.
WH4773H FUCK 15 FH15 7HH1R7??? 7H15 15N7HRNCR4P Y0UR3 DL01J G1N5754D KF D01NG UY0R3 8UDDY 4 50L1D??? G3771NG 7H0L1D 0VRR 5U71P1D FUCJ1HY 8ULL5H17 4ND MN75L D15PRD3R7H???? HN4G 0N WH3R3 4M 1 0N 7H15 5H17
i think its awwesome that wwe can sexualize wwomen for their mental an physical abnormalities but wwhen a guys a wwee bit underwweight or cod forbid a lil spectrumy wwith his interests hes an unpleasant creep
hell if i knowv vwhats vwrong vwith you. the tism? you dont havwe the hot kind though, youre just a spaz. #cwv-ableism
yeah but in a wway it wworks in our favvor cause i wwouldnt wwanna be sexualized vvia the male gaze
wwhat im just sayin i didnt think that wwould be such a controvversial take
men are monsters cro this aint about being straightgay or #notgay i dont knoww about you but if i had to deal wwith half the bee ess a chick puts up wwith from us id self cull for real instead a postin empty threats for attention
i toured a culling facility once. they vwere doing some classic cartoon assembly line scene to those poor bastards. if you knowv, you knowv.
IGNORE HIM. COME GET ME OUT. AND I WILL PUT OUT. 0u0
THEY’RE CALLING MY ACTIONS IN THE TREEABOO FOREST. YAOIPHOBIC. CULLTROLLY INSENSITIVE. AND OBSCENE. BUT YES. THESE ARE SEPARATE CHARGES. FROM THE TIME I THREW HOT BINCHOTAN CHARCOAL. AT @aerodynamicTramp’S CHEATING WHORE FACE. IN THAT LITTLE IZAKAYA IN SPLASHTHRUST. ARE YOU GETTING ME OR NOT.
yeah yeah, lemme grab the leash and papervwork and ill come on ovwer.
do NOT bust her out... she ser1ously messed my eye up, yo... almost left a b1g scar and everyth1ng...
trust me, any busting that occurs betvween us vwill *not* be out.
BUT. OUT OF CULLBABY JAIL IS NON NEGOTIABLE. RIGHT. CROKUN. CROCHAN. CROSAMA.
you get out, i get off, i bust in, you get me? #nsfwv
I UNDERSTAND NOW. PUSHER RATE STABILIZING.
you look avway shyly as you tighten your grip on my jacket. youre clinging on for dear life, like im the last man in the galaxy. as far as you knowv, i might be. i take one of your vwrists and pull it dowvn, then slip your hand into my back pocket. the denim is aged perfectly, like a fine vwine, and like me, and my ass is juicy in all the right places, like a grapefruit. i slip my other hand up your shirt and you gasp at my cool touch. you cant help but compliment my hair. my hand goes further and further, until im playing vwith your boobs under your top. you vwerent vwearing a bra, of course. you knewv vwhat you vwere getting into tonight. #nsfwv #cronusxreader #femreader #cronusampora #creatorfic #alphatrolls #alphatroll
https://media.tenor.com/9coKuOO5_FwAAAAM/dog-rolling-up-window-dog-window.gif i mean i very graciously gave you the idea!! #no
ooooohok. you should, like, write an alternate fic where the girl shrinks your jacket in the wash then. so cute, so intimate.
these killers are vwusses, i send a handful of messages and they block me. too scared of my rawv natural charisma i guess.
Are you certain that is what scared them? What did you say exactly?
ill just say vwhat vwere all thinking: evwen dead, rox is looking pretty fine. i vwouldnt vwanna do anything, obvwiously, but as far as corpses go? not bad.
i guess necrophilia runs in the bloodline #nsfww
hm i guess it cancels out if youre both dead but i dont think theres a wword for twwo corpses shaggin
i see zombie porn evvery light its called standin naked in front of a mirror
you gotta quit self-owvning man. youre like troll rodney dangerfield if he couldnt get a laugh. it just makes me sad.
i had to scroll like half an hour back to find out the hubbub, and it vwas still newvs to me they got anime boy alongside rox. dont get me vwrong, i like her vway more too. just pretty funny no ones yapping for poor ol vwhatshisname.
Ultimately, it's the expected outcome for us.
not british, but i remember a vwiolet gal vwho vwanted me to call her vwhole situation dowvn there her "fincess parts". i yucked that yum pretty quick. #nsfwv #didnthelpmuchvwheniaccidentallysaid #fincessfarts #inmydefense #shereallyneededatums
i had a tumble vwith an olivwe lass from ovwerseas once, she said, i shit you not, "theyre gonna call you king richard the vway ill leavwe you lion dowvn". #nsfwv #cwv-the-british #shevwasrighttoo #ifanolivwesaysitsbarbed #theyaintlion
Theyre gonna call me ethelred the second the way im unready!
trolls from across the pond are alvways saying shit like, "oi lovwe, the sight of your crannys got me piddling sludge" and expect you to find that hot. #nsfwv #cwv-the-british
... they don't actually say 'cranny' r1ght...? ☹️
Thank heavens for the proper tagging dude. Stuff like this would get our guys across the river tugging at more than just their collar if you get the cut of my jib.
HAVE WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE YOU FUCKING KNOB? DO YOU EVEN REALISE HOW MUCH OF A BELLEND YOU SOUND LIKE? “OY LOVE” PLEASE. GET FUCKING WALLOPED YOU MUSH. x
if youre evwer reading smut, check howv they spell color before you get too far in.
Although it does lead to some pretty epic flubs on my half like i fear we might have quite separate definitions of what a sticky pudding is. Id take off my bib but frankly regardless of how your (big benjamin) pendulum swings ill be chowing down politely thank you very much. #suggestive
cronus you forgot one important cw tag and that is the horror tag
QUITE THAT IF I’M HONEST BUT THE FUCKING CHEEK OF IT x
Lik£, totally lik£, too lik£, totally lik£, fucking lik£, right lik£, OMG.
ayy cmon, im cocking 'ere! like, im vwalking 'ere! but. cocking 'ere. get it? do you get it? #suggestivwe?
alt way of sayin ur chillin w ur junk out #suggestive maybe #nsfw?
buddy? arm in arm? *vwere* cocking 'ere.
}:D BANGARANG!! we are cock1ng th1s place DOWN, brosk1... 💪
im a real caring guy. i take care of my pals. i sawv my gal damz, @handmaid vwasnt getting enough omega-3, and i decided to do something about it. aint i svweet? #omega3 #cullbait #shelovwesmyvwariousfishoils #myoils #seriouslythough #makesureyouregetting #youromega3s #itsgoodforyourskin #ithink #idontactuallyknovwvwhyitmatters #butimsureitsimportant
nah. wanna hold damara still while you force that shit in her. gotta keep her healthy, right?
:33< hmmm :33< hmmmmmm :33< even with the assistance? is poor Mara unable to swallow without the coaxing and command to do so?
IN MY DEFENSE. IT’S A VERY LARGE PILL. SOMETIMES I NEED ALL MY FRIENDS. TO KISS ME WITH TONGUE. AND SPIT IN MY MOUTH. SO IT GOES DOWN EASILY.
vwho vwants to get cancelled for sleeping vwith me? #suggestivwe
4r3 you k1dd1ng just b31ng h3r3 1s tortur3 3nough!!!!
me! you.gotta.dress.up.as.a.microwave.oven.though.and.make.the.beeping.noise.before.you.bust.one
THIS IS EVEN MORE REASON WHY NO ONE WILL EVER RISK GETTING CANCEL TO SLEEP WITH YOU.
,'::::/ It's getting rough out here for you, isn't it?
eh, not really. im livwing it up in troll italy right nowv, the babes here are crazy.
When you start goin' for fellers you let me know, I'll get in line. But we know that ain't happening, so gud luck. May the babes be plentiful and the fumbles few.
Did you know that some of the first eyeglasses produced were produced in Troll Italy 8y troll italian glassmakers! ::::D
