@aeneasCaldarium — #nsfw
maybe i should start playing vwith alchemizing again. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, but sgrub can do some crazy stuff. i tried making an amulet of sexual provwess once, though it turned out to be an amulet of making people say youre avwesome in bed evwen though youre not. it vwas pretty much just as good, honestly. #nsfwv
*looks at the camera.* im vweird about sex because theres something vwrong vwith me. #nsfwv
(( #ableism #a-lot-of-ableism #mental-health-discussion #misogyny #nsfwv #nsfvwe #dubcon #cwv-self-harm #cwv-eating-disorder #abuse #cwv-toxic-relationship )) alright, youvwe all been asking for it, so here it is: mental illnesses listed by fuckability. s tier: antisocial personality disorder - they say dont stick your bulge in crazy. i say im already dead anyvways. nook from a girl vwho hates you and evweryone else is alvways a treat. shes probably into some freak shit too. bipolar: best of both vworlds. if shes manic, shes got energy to burn and is more likely to say yes to things. if shes ...Read more
you look avway shyly as you tighten your grip on my jacket. youre clinging on for dear life, like im the last man in the galaxy. as far as you knowv, i might be. i take one of your vwrists and pull it dowvn, then slip your hand into my back pocket. the denim is aged perfectly, like a fine vwine, and like me, and my ass is juicy in all the right places, like a grapefruit. i slip my other hand up your shirt and you gasp at my cool touch. you cant help but compliment my hair. my hand goes further and further, until im playing vwith your boobs under your top. you vwerent vwearing a bra, of course. you ...Read more
not british, but i remember a vwiolet gal vwho vwanted me to call her vwhole situation dowvn there her "fincess parts". i yucked that yum pretty quick. #nsfwv #didnthelpmuchvwheniaccidentallysaid #fincessfarts #inmydefense #shereallyneededatums
i had a tumble vwith an olivwe lass from ovwerseas once, she said, i shit you not, "theyre gonna call you king richard the vway ill leavwe you lion dowvn". #nsfwv #cwv-the-british #shevwasrighttoo #ifanolivwesaysitsbarbed #theyaintlion
trolls from across the pond are alvways saying shit like, "oi lovwe, the sight of your crannys got me piddling sludge" and expect you to find that hot. #nsfwv #cwv-the-british
so, seems some of you dont realize just howv complicated it is vwith all us alpha trolls. vwhen youre stuck in arrested devwelopment as ghosts for... eons, it does things to you. you get caught in that shitty drama that nevwer progresses. you get bored. and you fuck. a lot. ivwe graphed out just vwhat our scene looks like, along vwith some labeling. none of this is about quads, this is all about pailing, just sometimes quads line up vwith the banging. #nsfwv for vwhat im chatting about, but the image is clean, alright?
okay, howv many people are follovwing that tag that it getting used in just a comment gets people all riled up on main ovwer it? #nsfwv
coolscar literally isnt evwen cool, vwhy does he get to shlang it wvith the green one? #nsfwv
nhhhg.,,.,, boob.,,,. breast evwen #nsfwv
does anyone else hawve a no pants dream like, ewvery day, or is that just a cronus conundrum? i vwouldnt mind if they vwere *sexy* no pants dreams, but the last one vwas like... some awvant-garde play vwhere the audience vwas *supposed* to get nude along vwith the actors, i so leaned owver to the gal next to me and vwas like, "ivwe had this kinda dream before". i got baited and i didnt evwen get to do her! i really gotta practice lucid dreaming. #nsfwv
#nsfvw #dubcon #cheating #sexjeans yknowv the sitcom bit wvhere the fella goes on tvwo dates at the same time in the same restaurant? i did that once, i messed up my scheduling and had tvwo lowvely ladies booked for a stay at the same swvanky hotel vwith me, both expecting to get bulged dowvn. so, lady one, lamont, great tits, fat ass, the wvorks. i convwince her to do some bondage, shes into that sorta thing. i tie her up to the bedposts, im vwearing my sex jeans, its all fantastic. i tell her im gonna leavwe her there to stewv, and she vwerent too happy, denial play aint exactly her thing, but sh...Read more
im debating on wvhether to block or followv the tag #massivwe-longass-drooling-tongue... #nsfvw?
my kink is banging a gal so hard her name changes in the sidebar. #nsfvw
the more that you specify and hammer in that wvhatevwer youre doing is "consensual" the wveirder it sounds. wvhats the one bit? my "i only hawve consensual sex" shirt is raising a lotta questions ansvwered by my shirt. wvhy dont you vwrite a song about all the explicitly consensual sex youre hawving, thatll showv em. compose a powver ballad about hugs and kisses but you alwvays make sure to ask for consent first. look, it dont do anything for the cromeister if the gal dont wvant him, but if i started bragging about all the consensual sex im hawving youd all call me a creep. i promise you, the only vway no...Read more
a moron is asking me "should non ladies send nudes or is this not a safe space" im #notgay, vwhy are the dudes so desperate to hit me up? you dont gotta be a lady, but you cant be a man, thats the magic of being #notgay. ill probably still call you a dame, or a broad, or a pretty kitty, or something like that though. #askcronus #nsfwv
alright, check it. i call this piece: dream girl in squares. #nsfwv #cronusart
i should get a niche. im already the #misogyny guy, but vwhat if i wvas the #spanking guy too? i had people bring up my one spanking post wveeks after i made it. i could be the #casteplay guy? eridans hawve the #toes guy market cornered, the #petplay guy market is ovwersaturated... #harrassment guy? #kidnapping guy? #dubcon guy? #nonceruleanmindcontrol guy? the wvorlds my oyster- vwait, maybe... nah, nah, #oyster guy aint nothing. #nsfvw #nsfwve
i definitely *vwont* be at #sicknastysunday #nsfwv #nsfvwe but that said... correctly guess wvhos secretly me and youll vwin the right to kick my ass! get your detectiwve caps and magnifying glasses ready... or dont, because i aint going. promise.
like this post for an unsolicited dick pic. ***edit: only if you hawve she/her pronouns*** #nsfvw #dubcon?
@handmaid is my fawvorite milf: mentally ill lady i wvanna fuck. #nsfwv
they/them nook just hits different #nsfwv
#shooshplapping #nsfvw
i can be vwhatewver you wvant me to be wvith the povwer of hope and dreambubble shenanigans. vwant me to hawve a big dick? bam, done. a big bulge? easy peasy. theres no third thing, those are the twvo options. ivwe basically got infinite vwersatility ovwer here. #nsfvw
i should start a cable access tvw showv wvhere i giwve sex advwice. #nsfvw
theres something deeply erotic about hawving sex vwith a wvoman. #nsfvw
on the one prong, the femboys vwant me. they cant get enough of me. theyd fall upon me like a flock of gulls and leawve nothing but a skeleton behind. if i vwas #notnotgay i could be smashing femboy ass (#femboyass) all night and all day. on the other prong, if i wvere #notnotgay i think i could do so much better than that. you twvinks really aint all that.
ivwe been told i finger like a wvoman. dunno entirely vwhat that means, but feel free to line up ladies. i can go up until the carpal tunnel starts acting up, and then a lil further if you lemme adjust my fingers. just think about it, ivwe got the nails of a man, instead of just tvwo good ones, *and* i... finger like a wvoman. that ones still a pan-tickler. ill take wvolunteers wvho wvanna help me puzzle it out. #nsfvw
kinks? yeah, iwve got em. ill play along wvith wvhatewver you need to get your sick kicks too, if youre cute enough. #nsfwv
a leading question is one of the best tools in the domtalk toolbox, dont you agree? #nsfvw
sometimes i vwonder howv many of you gals are fantasizing about me. i knowv for a fact the number aint zero. ivwe got some pretty povwerful brand recognition going on. #nsfwv
my greatest fear is my subs unionizing. #nsfvw
vwho vwants nudes #nsfwv
i really should thirst trap more. dont get me wvrong, i get a lot outta posting vwhatevwer bullshit comes to mind, showving off my deep thoughts and sharing wvords of wvisdom, but iwve been operating on such a passiwve scale. i havwent evwen posted any nudes on here, aint that vwild? i gotta start saying shit like, "like this post if you vwanna be called a good girl" or something. if i shovwed off evwen an ounce of dom energy, i bet the pathetic subs wvould come running. thats just science. #nsfvw
i wvoke up this morning wvith a bad hangovwer and my penis vwas missing again this happens all the time its detachable this comes in handy a lot of the time i can leawve it home wvhen i think its going to get me in trouble or i can rent it out wvhen i dont need it but novw and then i go to a party get drunk and the next the morning, i cant for the life of me remember wvhat i did wvith it first i looked around my apartment and i couldnt find it so i called up the place wvhere the party vwas they hadnt seen it either i asked them to check the medicine cabinet cause for some reason i ...Read more
i take a look at my enormous penis and my troubles start a-meltin avway (ba-doo-bop-bop) i take a look at my enormous penis and the happy times are coming to stay i gotta sing and i dance wvhen i glance in my pants and the feelings like a sunshiney day i take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis and ewverything is goin my vway (ba-doo-bop-bop) #lyricsposting #nsfvw
seems like broads novwanights dont understand hovw to make a wvalue proposition. i aint gonna put in effort if you aint. if im doing a buncha vwork just for the *chance* you might put out, im being suckered. theres gotta be some quid pro quo, some tits for tat, yknovw? #nsfvw
alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted ...Read more
okay, i let that #cronusbabeoff sit a bit longer than i meant to, but the results are in. it wvas a close match, but jane took an early lead and kept it. the handiemaid, the demoness (succubus) is out, and ms. crocker mowves on to the semi-finals! next up... hey, damara, the hell are you still doing here? yep, damara megido, totally different than the handmaid, is up against our 8addie vwriska serket. you already knovw about damz, so lets focus on lil serk. shes 8ratty, shes 8ossy, shes evwerything in-8etvween. she can take charge or get put in her place. wvhether theyre 8-cups or her cups look like an...Read more
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handma...Read more
alright, looks like activwity is up enough for round 3 of the great #cronusbabeoff! remember to use the tag if you discuss it, though i dont think ivwe seen too many people vwhining about it so far. first match is a fun one. jade harley wversus meenah peixes! in another life they battled, in this one, theyre babing off! #nsfvw jades got the furry crovwd on lockdowvn, as vwell as... eh, people of other specific tastes. and transformativwe stuff too? if youvwe got a vweird kink, shes your gal! i find they tend to be curwvier, often tall, ready to put you in the dirt if she aint laying dowvn ass up beggin...Read more
@handmaid asks "need an expert opinion. rank mutations according to sex appeal. vwings. blood color. wveird external gills. like a cavwe creature. psionic aberrations. anything else i’m forgetting." finally, a *real* question. lets get dowvn to vwork. s tier: blood, obvwiously. sure the temperature difference is hot (ha) but vwhat really sells it is the personality. muties havwe alwvays got something to prowve, and if you play your cards right they can prowve it in the respite block. noseless. a tier: mental psionics. need i explain more? mmph. telekinesis. same deal. loads of applicat...Read more
i think for hitting 50k kull ewvery gal should send me nudes. iwve earned this. #nsfvw
im calling it, i dont really care. condy wvins, lamplady doesnt movwe on. sorry toots, youre hot and all, but i wvant the *real* stars competing here. speaking of... god damn. this one hurts. the final match of round 2 in the #cronusbabeoff is... rose lalonde vws kanaya maryam. this ones gotta sting. most of the rosies and kannys iwve seen around this place are divworced, dunno if ivwe seen ewven one happy couple, but this has still gotta be a vweird one. i wvas a lil spoiled for choice for propaganda, so i wvent a lil softer on this one. still #nsfwv, of course. <3 or <> for kanaya <3< or c3< for ros...Read more
and the upset doesnt repeat itself! gardener out, handmaid mowves forvwards! okay, i vwanted to do wvork for that last one, but... cmon. her imperious condescension against lamplady swvansong. youll take wvhat i giwve you and youll like it. #cronusbabeoff #nsfwv <3 or <> for lamplady svwansong <3< or c3< for her imperious condescension
okay, sorry for the wvait. yeah, wvriska beat out latula. shocker. heres... a match that shouldnt be interesting, but might be. the gardener wversus the handmaid. wvhos the gardener? exactly. beforan kanaya, i guess. but she smashed madame lalonde in the last round, so anything could happen. theres not a lotta creator fanart out there of her, so... yeah, i had to improvwise. #nsfvw and all that. #cronusbabeoff <3 or <> for the gardener <3< or c3< for the handmaid
yeah, okay, guess i savw that coming. handmaid vwins! im looking forvward to the photoshoot for next rounds match. novw, up next in the great #cronusbabeoff... wvriska serket up against latula pyrope! wvould you beliewve it wvas really, really tough to find a pic of this duo? it wvas either this (#nsfwv btvw) or one vwhere they wvere shrinkwvrapped skinny. i think i made the right call. <3 or <> for latula <3< or c3< for vwriska
