♣ mediated by @eB
YOu aare on the BAaad AAt BEing AAn AAdult site, whaat did you expect?
you're in for a shock because it wasn't any particular kinky place. it was at home. THE home. #nsfw #suggestive
.i hope the cheese burns cuz you put it in for 10 seconds too many and you forget to switch from a styrofoam plate so it melts and ruins iT
why would you fucking do that to yourself
loaded diaper headass zoosmell motherfucker pooplord pene flinger fucking nerd you get back here egbert im not over you almost ruining my chances with jane crocker you batshit bat swinger ness wannabe
can someone wipe my badges please i look like a fucking troll gangbang bukkake
too controversial tha world wasnt ready u_u
#EggingIt.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG
right ritgh ur "progress" that ur "making" i got u 😉😘😋
>> are they juડt ¡ncapab1e of eat¡ng the nachoડ wh¡1e they're ડt¡11 hot? Are they do¡ng that th¡ng ડome peop1e do w¡th co1d p¡zza a1ડo what ¡ડ the fun ¡n gett¡ng 1a¡d ¡f ¡t'ડ not a11 over the t¡me1¡ne ડmh
> ack2hually he got po1nt blank 2hot by a p12tol 1n the back of the head on my altern1a <
hmmmm. i am suspicious of that. i am looking at you with great suspicion...
Eyeroll.
ok papa hate tht actually srry every1
booo lame take
precisely! specific, safe circUmstances, lUv. personally, i feel we may be a bit overcaUtioUs, bUt i Understand it made a poor first impression. ...and that i am, perhaps, biologically biased on the sUbject of sUgary sweets and saccharine celebrations. ~u~
it is for consUmption! bUt only in specific, safe circUmstances. with trUsted friends, NOT strangers, and NOT to be imbibed in times of distress!
Hmm. I'm going to need a reminder about the plot.
Well, my friend always SAID I was gay and I said no, and if I’m gay I’ll have to like tell people and that’ll go bad and I’m just, not, so it’s okay.
You Do Realize I Have Seen Death And Lived Anyway Before Yes?
Another Update The Chicken Bake Is Mediocre And My Airfryer Has Cameras On It So I Cannot Say The Day So Far Has Been Very Successful But If Anyone Wants A 40 Dollar Nonrefundable Airfryer With Sunglasses Dm Me Because I Cannot Return This Now
If This Is What You Call Earth’s “finest” Cuisine Then I Think Humans Maybe Need To Rethink Their Lifestyles
it’s a little funny to watch trolls learn about periods. makes me giggle.