Miss Lalonde
@tenebrousGuardian
just a middle aged alien dont worry about it 🩷 50/38/54 [[all character art is my own]]
back in college i lived off campus with a pet cat and live-in boyfriend. whenever i would baby talk the cat, the boyfriend would respond too. i wont say i dont miss having a grown man respond to "here kitty kitty."
:33< i only saw the last thr33 furds :33< im kitty im here
yeah, i used the wrong hashtag, but im old so its fine actually.
#nowlistening https://open.spotify.com/track/3o1cohFfwd57rAvrbyVE5e
having a secret illicit rendezvous at work. (got a delivery of the paneer tikka masala again.)
but what if this was really the only thing i order all week? that and the kheer. will they intervene? will they cut me off? i dont think i could stand being separated from her (paneer tikka masala). #tragicyuri?
yuriful pining for papillon monster is cancelled. this paneer tikka masala is my new wife. she would never abandon and betray me.
20 minutes before my lunch breaks over. 3 more hours after that before i can leave. AMA
yeah. https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/29/IMG_8658.jpeg
true and accurate. excellent observation. theyre all in the same folder together though and it would look more stupid to crop the other apps out. what you dont want to play pocket camp? tom nook is in there. is he not good enough for you?
when the internet and i were both younger i would occasionally add a specific and mysterious series of numbers to my bio on sites that did have user bios because it struck me as a funny thing to do. a few people here and there could tell what those numbers meant but i would coyly refuse to elaborate for anyone who asked. i feel like this specific platform may have a higher success rate in figuring it out. 🤔
#nowplaying "She held a cold can of Summer Fruits between her warm thighs Condensation glistens, sweat beads drip into my eyes She's turning me to God no joke Mother, daughter, holy smoke!" https://open.spotify.com/track/6DhJvUJP73gi42x4rA8saD
anyway im finally back home and the second half of this chitt has been nixed because i cant trust you to behave yourselves.
when you type out a chitt have a vivid vision of exactly what comments youre going to get and then promptly delete the chitt.
Then posting would never happen. No thoughts sometimes you just go and post.
#nowplaying https://open.spotify.com/track/3OOFEF20WqtsUPcRbPY3L7
[[thinking longingly about this bald ass man i might pick a handle for him and make the profile while im at work anyway.... i do not remember at all what handle i used to use for him https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/28/IMG_8617.jpeg
[[i want to make a dad egbert account bc hes very fun to me but also i would want to draw my own pfp but ALSO im at this fuck ass job all day fml
ok i cant procrastinate any more. i have to log off and get going. #employed 😔
slightly worried about the fact that of all the alternate versions of myself ive seen im the oldest by an average of like 6 years. not because this makes me feel "old" but because it very well could mean that im fated across all timelines to die soon.
✿ 𖧧he parad❦x𖥧cal na𖧧ure ❦f 𖧧h𖥧s s𖥧𖧧e alludes me, bu𖧧 𖥧 d❦ kn❦w wha𖧧 𖧧h𖥧ng. y❦u s𖧧𖥧ll have 𖧧𖥧me, l𖥧ve 𖧧❦ 𖧧he fulles𖧧, n❦ ma𖧧𖧧er wha𖧧 ✿
unfortunately it is not very difficult to talk me into anything. 😔
uuuuuuhhhhhhh quick kiss that wizard painting ull feel better afterward
honestly it probably will. would a lipstick smudge make the piece better or worse? 🤔
my estranged wife. if you see her can you tell her that i miss her? https://web-assests.monsterenergy.com/mnst/e68d9563-9992-40e7-bdc4-a691bff05957.png
hmmm. i would usually say yes without hesitation but i do like some of the other felt quite a bit and dont want to put myself in hot water with any of them.
tragic. what did i ever do to make the monster energy company target me personally? ive been such a good and loyal customer. red bull who? i dont know her.
i used to be very well known for exactly that actually. have i changed my ways since? maybe a little. but i am also slightly worried that it might kill you dead.
No no no no no no no no no no no. I can handle it.
Caffeine is my drive, sweetcheeks. I already consumed a gallon of coffee today.
and here i thought you were like that naturally. i guess i can relent then. that flavor is discontinued though. this is the one i get instead. you can have one of these. https://web-assests.monsterenergy.com/mnst/bcbf7fc0-05e9-4d0d-933c-30eabf9ca620.png
oh um. oops. https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/28/IMG_8616.jpeg
i wish i was still asleep. why is my favorite monster flavor so hard to find? my second and more widely available choice is good and all but papillon and i had something special. she was so sweet. knew how to treat me right. i think about her evey day. #tragicyuri
pro tip the later it is in the night the better your bad ideas start to look. dont trust it. go to bed.
im not vaguing anyone by the way this is fully directed at myself.
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 DO TRUST IT. INDULGE. DO THAT THING THAT YOU WOULDN'T UNDER ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES. SEND THAT TEXT TO YOUR EX. SMOKE THAT SHIT. EAT THAT EGG THAT'S BEEN COOKING ON THE WINDOW SIL IN THE SUN FOR AN AMBIGUOUS AMOUNT OF TIME.
✿ perhaps wr𖥧𖧧e d❦wn wha𖧧 y❦u seek 𖧧❦ d❦, and l❦❦k ❦ver 𖥧𖧧 𖧧he nex𖧧 n𖥧gh𖧧 w𖥧𖧧h a clearer m𖥧nd ✿
i almost conceded that maybe the alternian sun is intense enough for that but no i really dont think thats how bacteria works.
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 IF YOU TELL ME I'M WRONG THOUGH I'LL BELIEVE YOU. I WILL ALWAYS FOLD FOR BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMEN. 🙂 ↕ 🙂 ↕
oh that makes this easy then. youre wrong. please dont give yourself food poisoning.
i was about to say "thank god likes are private on this site" but they arent. post cancelled.
i dont know which reaction button most closely conveys the subdued shame of the pensive emoji so: 😔
:o) No need for shame, sister. :o) I, at the very least, am accepting of your... :o) 'Freak'
as reassuring as that is the public visibility of it all is still embarrassing. 🫣
:o( Haha, I do understand. :o) Well...For those that do not accept you. :o) They will have a clown to contend with.