♦ pitied by @transcendGodhood
i dont know w'at frenc' EES but yes i type p'onetically to propAIRly represent Ze accent of my roots in Ze wine country w'at of it
Trying to flirt with hot Lalondes, and Chittr is being the biggest cockblock, this must be how Sisyphus felt
stop hating on my fucking chit. a man is entitled to have a type, even if that is the ghb.
ghb is pretty good looking. for a clown.
what the fuck! i don't have a cat girl maid costume. i mean, i guess i could buy one? i have like, a salary and everything now. but i'm not doing that. it's not even funny. if i'm going to wear the cat girl maid costume, it's gotta have incentive! like i lost really bad at a game of poker or something, and now i have to look like a complete moron with cat ears and a stupid outfit. if i just wear the outfit because you told me to, then it loses all of its comedic value! wait, why am i even arguing about this.
hey d0es it c0unt as a new crush if it's 0n an alternate versi0n 0f an 0ld crush?
wen the unrequitted crush iss so bad its got u tossing n turning, wretching, sobbing, in agony, so on and so forth
#whatdatmean
Ok dude i have kind of mixed opinions on you buttering my biscuit.
There are simply places a grown man and his tuchus cant fit and i am swiftly discovering them.
Kind of miss @transcendGodhood hating all my posts. It was funny as shit. Come back I miss you.
Thank you all for giving me space. I know that was extremely difficult for select few of you.
Alright. I'm all better about the wife thing.
New relationship status: #Single
Peanut has killed my wife.
Please give me space during this sensitive time during my life.
No need to flatter me.
Watching the twenty-four hour timer I set for myself before I can post another rant about baking. In the interest of maintaining a fair pace. I don't want to blow my wad prematurely. Not that I'm liable to run out of opinions.
There is an idea of a Dirk Strider, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is sketchy and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago (probably on Earth C) if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed. Yet I am blameless. Each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? #Foodforthought #Yourewelcome #Drinkdeepthedregs #Daddyishome
Don't be offended when I don't follow any of you plebeians back; follow for follow is such a fucking gauche concept that is completely uninformed by the kind of partnership of equals that can only be enjoyed by two halves of one whole. #Meetingofthemindandsoul #Andnoneofyouareinvited #Mydaughter
yo the imperious condescension just hated my selfie what the fuck man
GAHHHHH!!! you will simply bend my words to your liking regardless of what i say!! i shant make a peep any further!!
W-w-WHORE?!?! why i never! i am not inclined to such,.... such temptations!
Controversially younger girlfriend.
It sounds like you're taking my style? Are you jacking my style? Are you jacking me right now? Jacking me clean off? What is your problem, man.
Not I, who had already been up in pursuit of getting my tubes tied, fool.
okay nevermind i gotta listen to big b he knows whats up
The old ball and chain said no more dog boy pics on main cause I’ve gotta go to bed or something. It’s like she doesn’t want me to find a man or successfully soft launch my OnlyStans. #heldback #divorcedbutmarried #stillnotgay #mankissier #nsfw #influencer
While I am flattered, I do regret to inform you I am a married man.
literally true. #stayawayfr0mmes0lluxes
「 I don't think they'd want to kiss me either. ⥮
I am catching some shuteye and I say a quick bedside prayer to whichever deity of yore can ensure you're all fully dressed by sunup. Also, do not text your exes.
i cannot believe that apparently not wanting to fuck jake english is controversial
pretty please with whipped cream and two cherries on top.
can't even follow it up with a dm. fucking tease.
please.