@twostepGodhead — #substance
yo im ngl just got invited to a halloween club night by the host and she told me who else is invited as vip am i the asshole if i say i fucking hate one of the vips? lmao im still gonna go though i always get drink tickets from the door girl and the host and if i blow a kiss to one of the bartenders she lets me get a shot or two for free thats just the kinda life i lead thats the good shit you get when youre dave fuckin strider
your honor im drunk and listening to peggy lee someone save me from myself
oh yeah btw my set killed club was pumping couple free drinks good vibes
aight locking in for like the next 12 or more hours see yall on the flip side if you see me in the club buy me a drink or a shot
aight whats the vibes? cracked open an ice cold cc and getting down to business what genres on the agendas today?
finally lifted some melatonin to try out and see if it will put my ass to dreamland either ill still be chitting on my bullshit in an hour or this will be my last for like 4-6 hours place your bets
okay im gonna post this once so it can get buried and eventually forgotten about but god is it fun to fuck with people while im tipsy until they snap relevantly tagged anyway dont comment on this shit you didnt see it im just getting it off my chest
i mightve forgotten to eat and then had wine and that was a fucking choice but its making my first watch of dracula a love tale one hell of a time
i need 3oh!3 injected into my veins
so far moulin rouge is like the wildest trip youve ever been on
okay yeah baz luhrmanns romeo and juliet fucking rocks now were a bottle of wine deep and onto moulin rouge
oh god i forgot i spiked my own pepsi with whiskey i just wanted a cold non-alc beverage to quench my thirst im parched like an exile in a sea of sand being pounded by waves of heat ive been fooled by a mirage of pure cola and met with only cola x poison
help theyre speaking spanish at me and keep saying guapo and wont explain im too fucked up for this shit
the way someone is brushing their teeth literally at the table outside while were all drunken screaming the cure lyrics this is probably the best party ive ever been to
karkat keeps saying "yeah guess which fucking one of us is drunk right now" but im like being so cool about it
spilt my whiskey on my bread roll whiskey bread whiskey on da bread whiskey on my fuckin potato salad
drunk talking feminism in films like legally blonde and ten things i hate about you god this party is rad as fuck
how did the house party convo turn to cannulas and blood and hospitals and why am i having the best time of my fucking life?
oh fuck they brought out limited edition minecraft oreos? im already tipsy dude give me the whole pack holy shit
alright alright fine ibuprofen beam while you scroll past youre welcome
can we just normalize platonic affection and casual physical intimacy without the expectations of furthering or escalating into a sexual relationship? a chill cuddle sesh and kissing the homies goodnight? or am i just drunk rambling?
okay maybe no more whsikey for dave
did you know when dave gets drunk he leaves his phone unlocked and starts voguing?
waiter more whiskey for dave
woke up craving a cigarette so fucking bad i dont smoke
best way to let the buzz wear off is laying in a bean bag and playing some chill tunes
im feeling some kinda way idk guys maybe this cider has got me in a mood
gin and juice? nah shots and eggs
virtual insaaanityyyy mr hollywood ass and rotten at this devilled egg party are getting a private concert
cracking open an apple cider sounding like angels singing right about now
and if you dont love me nowww you will nevah love me again! i can still hear you sayin we would neverrr break the chain! chain! keep us together!
ngl guys i think i put too much soju in my cup
ordering a hit on myself but its with a tranq gun so i can sleep lets see if it works night guys
okay what if i get on my knees and someone pours a shot right down my throat? fuck a shot get the bottle make me swallow and tell me how good im doing
i wanna be feeling this pump through my blood i miss getting blackout in the corner of the club
i dont need no speed (no) i dont need no heroin (no thanks) i dont want no coke (not today) you can keep your ketamine im a bassline junkie (what?) im a bassline junkie (tell em again) im a bassline junkie (tell em again) and i like it funky (yeah)
perfect time for a whiskey n coke
fuck klondike bars id do unconscionable things for a cocksucking cowboy shot rn
core experience is pulling sick as fuck cards from pokemon packs while youre tipsy with friends
i dont actually drink too often tbh but i grabbed a cheeky bevvy for shits n gigs while me and the homies play some games and holy fuckballs dudes i wasnt aware i was signing up to have my tastebuds obliterated in double goodbad mode with this apple cider shits so cold and hard hitting should call it an ice pick scaling these mountains of frigid apple orchard goodness like it aint anyones bizz its so far from being anyones bizz its basically blacklisted from every event dawg this apple cider tryin to get into the met gala of premixes bein barred at the door by big burly security pintglasses geddafuk ...Read more
real telling that only roses have liked my irish coffee chitt lmao just come over ill make you a mug
for a dude who doesnt smoke anymore i sure do have a ton of fancy and novelty lighters anyone want one?
look im chill about it but god damn do i wanna have a wine and a mad bitch fest right about now like gettin our face masks on and painting our nails level of wine and whine going on
yo anyone got cold n flu meds ill deadass doxx myself rn for some tender lovin care guys lets get some hurt / comfort goin or whatever yeah?
so i may have gone on a bit of a bender related note, why was my lesbian hairdresser trying to make out with me, offering me speed all night, and topped it off by saying she wanted to eat me out? diva, i dont have the necessary equipment for that
look i like a drink as much as the next guy but some of you need to start getting more comfortable in being sober constant self destruction gets real boring real fast
oh i forgot the best part about last night okay so strap in strap up and strap on folks that hot personal trainer? yeah, you know the one i cant stop waxing poetic over like im some lovesick protagonist in one of those slice of life meetcute animes he was there dude he was at the gay club and guess who scored big time motherfuckers thats right its the one and only stridawg i bought him a drink, he bought me a drink, we partied shit was like a straight up romcom montage moment from the 90s ngl kinda got way too freaked out to make more of a move on him but hey i think my interest was registered like...Read more
dear god dont go shot for shot with them gnc baddies they have drunk me under the table the only reason this is readable is because predictive text and auto correct is saving my ass rn holy fuck balls i scored a ride home tho time for a giant kebab and sweatpants