♦ pitied by @zoologerCoolscar
I’M HAVING A REALLY BAD NIGHT. BUT IT’S OKAY, BECAUSE I’VE GOT THE PERFECT ROM COM FOR THIS EXACT SITUATION.
٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶ < Gog I canter stand him anymore! (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ < I am feeling very unstable. #vaguechit
Crazy idea: d0es she miss her parasite
D --> I see there is nothing noteworthy occurring on the dashboard tonight D --> Good D --> I was hoping to chit about something meaningful D --> The terrible catastrophe known as the Nine Layers Hoofbeast Racing Competition Pileup and Subsequent E%plosion D --> Wherein during a hoofbeast race D --> (Legal of course, for their enrichment) D --> The leading stallion, Man o' Speed, tripped and dove muzzle-first into the dirt, performing a remarkable seven rolling flips before coming to a halt upon its crest D --> The fourteen other racing hoofbeasts were unable to stop in time, and all fell victim to the same fate D --> Then, as if ordained by the creators, a flying vessel carrying highly e%plosive liquid happened to lose control D --> Spilling its contents over the entire track D --> The resulting e%plosion leveled the surrounding glut D --> And the only survivor was the mare in the very back of the race, who had managed to fall in such a way that she was protected by convenient sheet metal
I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE MUNDANITY OF A 9-5 WHEN I WAS LITERALLY IN PRISON. BUT. Y’KNOW. HERE I AM DOING IT ANYWAY.
I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT INCOMPREHENSIBLY PUTRID GARBAGE SOME OF MY COWORKERS ARE. RUINING MY SPREADSHEETS IN ONE FELL SWOOP WITH A CLICK OF A BUTTON. IT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE, IF NOT FOR HOW HARD I JUST WORKED ON THEM.
D --> "i put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1. it did, but every other horse came in at 12:30." D --> This is D --> Without e%aggeration D --> The most hilarious thing I have ever read in my eighty and so forth sweeps of life D --> https://forms.gle/%8CfgBJfJ4dTmVa%6
D --> I apologize D --> I must take a moment to myself
D --> Artificially generated images are the scourge of this planet D --> I was minding my own business, perusing D --> I decided to view my favorite forum for humorous images of hoofbeasts to bring a smile to my face D --> I see one of a hoofbeast clad in a suit, e%pensive and refined D --> I chuckle D --> But I see the disclaimer image tucked to the corner. "Artificially Generated". D --> Has our world stooped that low? D --> Are we that far gone? D --> That a man cannot peruse at the content of his pusher, e%pect to see a chuckleworthy image and for it to be true and genuine? D --> Where is the humor in a%ing a program to create an image of a hoofbeast in a suit? D --> The humor comes from the story D --> Did someone struggle to place this suit upon the beast? D --> Were they neighaps kicked, launched into mud in humorous fashion? D --> Or better yet, did the creature's loving caretaker recognize a regal glint in its gander bulb? D --> A sense that this hoofbeast WISHES to don a suit D --> To appear regal as trolls do purely because that is the kind of personality it has D --> Is the hoofbeast happy? Sad? Angry? Disgruntled? Amused? Confused? D --> We ask these questions to ourselves and in the time it takes us to finish we have allowed ourselves the smile that grew upon our faces D --> But this image D --> This sickening facsimile D --> There is nothing behind it D --> No story D --> Simply a pathetic midb100d foal sitting at his huskbend asking a program to generate it so that he may capitalize from the four hundred views it gets D --> Twelve of which were from me, verifying it was not real D --> Or perhaps D --> Perhaps the purpose of it was not for me to laugh at an image someone took D --> Perhaps the purpose was for the person who generated it D --> To laugh at me D --> For believing there could be decent men left in the world
8=D < I was rudely instirrupted during my midnight gallop through the woods by a frightened little rustb100d. 8=D < They mistook my gear for a beast and set a trap to ensnare me! 8=D < To think I c001d be f001ish enough to be hoofwinked by such a simple trap! 8=D < In other news I have trapped my hoof in a snare in the woods 8=D < Can someone let me down? 8=D < There is an awfoal amount of b100d rushing to my head.
D --> I have had a long and tiring night D --> Draining, in a sense D --> Neighaps mare than one sense D --> #suggestive D --> All in service of the cause D --> But all e%hausting when it is said and done
I MAYBE WAS CONVINCED BY SOMEONE TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE A LITTLE MORE. APPARENTLY, BEING A SHUT-IN ISN’T CONDUCIVE TO GETTING A DATE, NOT THAT I WANT TO BE THE PROTAGONIST IN 50 FIRST DATES ANYWAY, FUCK NO. CHOOSING DATING SITE PICTURES IS A DEEP ANCIENT HUMILIATION RITUAL, AS IT TURNS OUT.
I'm Afraid They " Got Your Ass ". #sympathetic
D --> My secretariat often criticizes me for getting distracted D --> I hired her specifically to keep me in line D --> To ensure that I am not swept away by every little mention of a hoofbeast I see D --> It is not my fault I grew up an appreciator of fine art D --> And that I have the Empress given ability to recognize prized material when I see it D --> She does not allow me to decorate my office the way I wish D --> She says having depictions of refined and elegant genitalia from the humble hoofbest arranged one by one betwi%t photos of my own is undignified D --> I wish for my office to be like the story by famed author George Orewell, Lusus Farm D --> Wherein they 100ked from hoofbeast to E%emplar, from hoofbeast to E%emplar, and back again D --> And realized there was no difference D --> Unfortunately it is like George Orewell's other novel D --> 1984
D --> E%plain this to me D --> This gif D --> Who are these men intended to represent
I have vastly misconstrued the purpose of #CreamFest. I have several piping bags to return. And I was so excited. :(
8=D < Haha, that may be difficult.
8=D < Forgive me sir I have made a momentary lapse in my judgement. 8=D < The thought of good hoofcare gets me quite e%cited.
8=D < Hhh.
D --> I have been informed that I put my title in incorrectly D --> For this error I will subject myself to 100 lashings from the company riding crop D --> Do not try to stop me D --> I deserve it
D --> I have been demanded D --> To record my 200 lashings D --> However my recording device has difficulty capturing my form D --> For posterity D --> I will do 1000 as penance
I JUST CAN’T FUCKING GET IT RIGHT WITH JUST A VIDEO, SO SUE ME. I COULD SEND YOU PROOF OF WHAT I’VE JUST MANAGED TO DO WITH MY HAIR INSTEAD, BUT YOU’D PROBABLY BE LAUGHING SO HARD THAT YOU’D FORGET TO ACTUALLY HELP ME UNTANGLE IT.
ill need a m0ment t0 pr0cess this
8=D < That is a relief! 8=D < You had me worried there, your harness- your highness!
Yeah that's how I felt about it too and I live with the guy
I'll start getting concerned at (pulling up a years to sweeps calculator) 600 sweeps that's the worst one I know
I t)(ink t)(ere are better ways to cope but I am sure it is fine to feel )(ow you are feeling! Wasps do not need to )(ear all of t)(at.
࣪⊹₊˚{ i am LITERALLYYYY the most EXHAUSTED girl on this ENTIREEEE fluking planet! }~A~{ }~A~{ #deepmaid #sleepmaid #justgillythings #glubinterrupted #struggleglubbing }˚₊⊹ ࣪
8=D < I mean your highness!! F*ddlesti%
O)( dear, I missed so many t)(ings! So many c)(eeks to squeeze, so many cute buoys and gills to tease.
၄⋆၃ oh yeah uh left a uhm xritter in my hive it was uh missing its ganderbulbs dot dot dot
၄⋆၃ please do not mind door guy seems hes just like that
၄⋆၃ unfortunately we are all a little stupid on xhittr and xannot xomprehend what questions are #silly