#unethicalrelationshipadvice
ON THE TOPIC OF CONFESSIONS: SEE MY #UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE COLUMN ON MY EXHAUSTIVELY STATED THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT. I MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF HATE TO GET OFF MY THORAX IN VIGOROUS ABUNDANCE FOR YOU ASSHOLES, BUT I HAVE NO INTENTION OF WEARING MY TYPESTUBS DOWN TO BLEEDING STUMPS WHEN I'VE ALREADY MADE MY POINT LOUD AND CLEAR. HONESTLY, IT MIGHT BE MY MOST SUCCESSFUL ADVICE CHITT. SOMEONE TOOK IT RIGHT AWAY RIGHT AFTER I MADE IT.
#UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE OF THE DAY: THE SAME NIGHT THAT YOU TRUMPET TO THE KNOWN UNIVERSE YOUR MATESPRITSHIP WITH A COQUETTISH, SLURRY-HUNGRY TWINK, IMMEDIATELY GET INVOLVED IN AN ALL-LIGHT LIFE-OR-DEATH INTERVENTION WITH ANOTHER ONE. KEEP YOUR MOVES UNPREDICTABLE. YOU WANT TO KEEP A PRETTYBOY ON HIS FRONDSTUBS. IT IMPROVES THEIR FOOTWORK, LIKE A BALLERINA DOING FUCKING FOUETTES. IT'S ENRICHMENT FOR THEM.
----AUTO-SENT FROM PALMHUSK AT 4:13 AM PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME (PST)---- WELL. I GUESS THIS IS IT. IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE, SO SKIP TO THE END IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THE FETID, RUBBERY DIGESTION SAC OF THIS GARGANTUAN BLUBBERBEAST FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS. THE GOOD NEWS? I MANAGED TO FIND SOME SORT OF... HONESTLY, I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THIS THING IS. IT'S THE MOST UNWHOLESOMELY UNPLEASANT SEA VESSEL I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON. IT'S SOME KIND OF HUGE, BUOYANT CHARIOT WITH FLEXIBLE SACS FOR MY FRONDS TO FIT INTO. FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, IT'S GOT TO BE *ANCIENT,* BUT ITS SOMEHOW ST...Read more
#UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE: TONIGHT'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE COLUMN IS CANCELED. A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR A GOOD MAN. #CONSIDERTHIS: TELL THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER TO YOU THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THEM. FLUSHED OR ASHEN, IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE ONES THAT MATTER TO YOU MIGHT BE GONE IN THE BLINK OF A BULB. ON THIS BITCH OF AN EARTH-C, TIME IS SHORT.
#UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE OF THE DAY: PUBLIC BOASTS OF CONCUPISCENT PROWESS. NO COMMENT ON THIS TOPIC. I. STILL HAVE SOME THINGS I NEED TO FORGET ABOUT. DMS ARE OPEN FOR THOSE WHO MUST ABSOLUTELY HEAR IT. #CONSIDERTHIS: IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO A LOBOTOMY ON YOURSELF AT HIVE. ASKING FOR A FRIEND.
#UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE: STOP FUCKING CONFESSING THINGS. IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT I'M REFERRING TO, HERE. I WANT TO BE CLEAR — I AM NOT JUMPING ON THIS BANDSCUTTLER JUST TO FLOG A DEAD HOOFBEAST. I'M HERE TO *HELP* YOU, YOU JITTERING, SPINELESS FLUSTERMAGGOTS. THERE IS A REASON THAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS SUCH BLISTERING HOT SHIT TO FLING AT THIS PHENOMENON, AND IT'S FOR A REASON, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. SPEAKING OF THE VIOLENT EXPULSION OF CAUSTIC FLUIDS FROM THE BODY, THAT IS WHAT CONFESSION IS. A HIGH-PRESSURE STREAM OF INORDINATE VOLUME, HURTLING THROUGH THE FLESHY FIRE HOSE OF A POOR, CHITINLESS ...Read more
#UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE OF THE NIGHT: IF AN INJURY IS DONE TO A PITCHMATE, IT SHOULD BE SO SEVERE THAT THEIR DESIRE FOR VENGEANCE NEED NOT BE LACKING IN PASSION NOR AWE. SOME OF YOU FLAILING, MYOPIC SYCOPHANTS ARE SO EAGER TO GLAZE YOUR KISMESES IN A FRESH COAT OF VITRIOL THAT NONE OF IT IS LEFT FOR A *REAL* GESTURE OF CARE. TRITE, MINDLESS PLATITUDES CAN BE HABITUATED TO. IF I THREW YOUR ASS INTO A BLOCK FULL OF FARTS AND LOCKED THE DOOR, YOU WOULD PROBABLY JUST DEVELOP SOME KIND OF METHANE-BREATHING ATMOSPHERIC ADAPTATION AND CONTINUE TO SCROLL ON YOUR PALMHUSK UNTIL YOUR GANDERBULBS BURNED OUT...Read more