♣ mediated by @accedenceManaged
@accedenceManaged ?dO you ever miss how I was Pre-molt?
꧁@paleHighblood #nsfw #bulgerating #chucklevoodoos #newformat Okay everyone. This is a unique one! The stats basically matter less than they should, which is humiliating to admit, because ordinarily I like numbers to stay where I put them. Strength: 5. Pliability: 7. Length: 6. Girth: 4. X-Factor: 9. Purpleblood, yes. Beforan, yes. Highblood, yes. Still modest. Sorry. The Baronair’s bulge is bullying my pan. It has decent give, better response to attention than force, and a very strange relationship with authority. I do not think it impresses by size. I think it impresses by getting everyone nearby to behave like size was never the most important part. The X-Factor is through chuckleconditioning. Lowbloods, office cullployees, moirails with poor stress management, cullployee host bar applicants, and whatever the Annalist is doing near the desk are all part of the field around it. Try being told to get on the desk near this bulge. You will probably feel better and worse. There's almost a radiating warmth from it. As bleak as this troll can be at times, it makes my pan feel better just communing with it. His bulge is not overly large. That is probably why it has developed an entire office around itself. Cigar smoke. Scotch. Cold slime. Petroleum residue. Expensive chair leather. Stress-sweat. A little panic. Old money pretending it is comfort. It smells like a cigar lounge built inside a recuperacoon, and I regret how much that explains. Taste is bitter smoke, dark sugar, salt, and something medicinal from the cigars. Texture is smooth, warm, and more responsive than the measurements deserve. There is no severe ridge profile, no dramatic purpleblood overdevelopment, no historic caste nightmare hiding under the desk. The underside is sensitive enough to explain the bossiness. Not justify it. Explain. The Baronair is ideal for anyone trying to experience Beforan highblood workplace meionics without being physically overwhelmed. Small. Bossy. Desk-certified. Huskboard-adjacent. Better in a lap than in a joust. Palind Pinnip is for communing. The Baronair is for being managed.꧂
can I have. a 8ite
DAaate ideaa: I come over aand haave aa breaakkdown
FIRST OF ALL, I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT. SECONDLY, PLEASE DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE AN ALTERNIAN'S ABILITY TO BE A PERVERT ABOUT LITERALLY FUCKING ANYTHING. BUT ESPECIALLY IF THAT ANYTHING INCLUDES POWER IMBALANCES, IMPERIAL REGULATIONS, AND #QUADRANTSMEARING. #SUGGESTIVE #NSFW
0k i sh0uldn't be enc0uraging this but... m0irail/empl0yer/culler is a pretty inspired c0mb0. the p0wer imbalance kink p0tential is unmatched.
DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WERE ENTIRELY WITHIN MY OWN CONTROL, AS DAMNING AS THAT ADMISSION IS, I AM SPENDING AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME ON BEFORUS. IN AN ACT OF #CULTURALINSENSITIVITY AND #ALTERNIANPRIVILEGE, I WILL BE GROSSLY FETISHIZING THE #CULLERXCULLEE DYNAMIC. IF YOU, READING THIS, ARE A SICK FUCK WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE FEATURED IN TASTELESS RPF, AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR ONE ROLE OVER THE OTHER, I AM ONCE AGAIN TAKING VOLUNTEERS. IN THE ABSENCE OF ANY WILLING PARTICIPANTS, IT WILL JUST BE ABOUT @twinArmaggetfucked AGAIN.
Thank you so very much, The Helpmeet! We've established the first portion of your name as true! Now I hope to complete that mission by spying you in person!
PERHAPS I SHOULD FIND MY OWN DOG. THEY SEEM SUCH USEFUL LITTLE SERVANTS. THEN AGAIN, I ALREADY HAVE A PET HANDMAID AND EMPRESS.
I missed 4:20 I failed #substance
D —> Hm D —> Yes indeed I never w001d have been seen at such an establishment you are correct D —> Carry on as you were
[you are genu1nely so pathet1c 1t’s not even funny. have you cons1dered gett1ng culled a second t1me to see 1f they can get 1t r1ght? or perhaps a th1rd? th1rd t1mes the charm they say]
imagine havwing some guy vwho calls himself the helpsman as an ancestor? he needs to help himself to some 8ITCHES. nah, but really, vwhy if you dont already think im the most pitiable user on this platform, imagine havwing coolscar as your ancestor. shit, im gonna shed a single manly tear vwhile strumming a c-minor on the vworlds tiniest guitar. #sendspheres #spheresoutforcronus #pitybait
.Come Pull me out if you Pale that much. While I can still tyPe before the tar takes my Prongs.
You know how he gets if he gets the restraints off. /:F
₍^. .^₎⟆ Scruffy men who k!nda ssmell bad are hot :3c꠹
INDEED THEY ARE!
COUGHING IS JUST A REFLEX TO PURGE THE particulate sized spy-bots from your lungs
thats vwhat im sayin
Beforus is anodher planed, Seven. I like do dhink id's a nice place.
LITERALLY gonna need one of you to fold that guy like an omelet
all these gods or vwhatevwer vwant me so bad. i aint ewven hung up on the vwhite lady right nowv. thinking about mr. cairo owvercoat, vwonder if he evwen knowvs vwhat the vwordplay there means. guess i should be flattered that im evwen important enough to get noticed by these bigvwigs, to creep em out, get a reaction. i mean cmon, slime? just say you wvant in my pitch pants and get it ovwer vwith already. #notwvagueposting
+[U] Well,-I-need-more-willing-people-to-bite. Chomp-Chomp. Yum.
When I feel like it, yes.
➡️We are practically one business-panned individual. Am I your squirming friend?➡️
WOULd you say we're growing... closer
.I NEEd to reach my HUSKBOARd Annalist. BENd over Please
➡️I am regulated now.➡️ ➡️If we matched, it would be like friendship bracelets for those who need partial immobility.➡️ ➡️Literally incredible.➡️ ➡️Your shaking paperfiend apologizes profusely.➡️
you guys are 1mposs1ble
➡️Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️
that mofos a freak #dashwatching
…Ahem. As my lord commanded, I will continue as I have been without his presence. I will speak with the unspoken to members of the Table soon, and prepare assignments. Events will continue to move forwards in my favor. …and my lords.
Hum⟁ns, ⟁re there m◎nths f◎r the ◎ther sins?
- I DON"T KNOW YOU
- NO NO NO NO LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS Leave mme OUT of whatever this is about
➡️The language of the Great Subjuboss should not be misappropriated, Melpheap. Refer to The Beforus New Oral History of Termigiggly Terminology.➡️ ➡️Did you read the assigned literatures when you were hired? I had them dictated to me.➡️ ➡️I believe the Baronair himself lead the instruction.➡️ ➡️Strange, that.➡️ ➡️Your hungriest, squirmiest friend submits himself to the delegation of his digestive tubes, but still has time to pay a listening node to our Grand Baroness of Giggletude.➡️ ➡️I marinate in our present conference.➡️
Hrn.. you have been quite surly... what a naughty little squeakbeast... you've RUINEd the lives of those two businessfailures but you're so fucking funny about it so who am I to JUdGE
PLEASE SPAMTON. COME BACK! I MISS YOU! I'LL CHANGE! I'LL BE BETTER!!
This is HARdLY even a job. It's more like Play. You love Playing. Having trolls fawn all over you or get flirty ANd dIRTY. But if it truly uPsets you to be INVOLVEd in this business opportunity I will remove you from it my sweet 'rail
That is true I dO love jokes ... ?But what the hell are you talking about my helPing HANdY?
WELL LOOK AT THAT. ALL THE CREDITORS ARE HATING MY PREVIOUS CHITT, BECAUSE WITHOUT THE CONCEPT OF "LEGAL ROBBERY" THEYD BE OUT OF BUSINESS.
"= :/ get well soon. or whatever they say i don't generally or have never interacted like this with someone who is in that situation. =" "= 'cullee' just is not a word i know of.... #notdroppingitbutdelayingittosomeothertime ="
wgat
seeervaaants briiing jaaahjaaah aaa griiilleeed cheeeeeeseee sheee waaants aaa griiilleeed cheeeeeeseee
Mmgh. Good morning. I am still very sleepy.
[ M ] i have predicted that an oliveblood will get kicked out of their hive in... about ten days, give or take. ;-)
"= i think i know who you mean i saw the account. uhhhh. you mean. hm, beforan culled, or normal culled. ="
The urge to start a new business venture CALLEd a troll host club with HM as my HEAd host d;F
➡️I am your most captive audience, managerial master.➡️
➡️You cater to the slobbering masses while your oldest friend wallows in his earnestness.➡️ ➡️No Goredash deliveries available for ceviche.➡️
➡️I am requesting mediary council allow me to remove mentions of my Baron-ordained decompression time from official and unofficial transcripts.➡️ ➡️The detriment is making me shake.➡️ ➡️Our public image.➡️ ➡️Your best desk friend trembles in the face of your mercy, do you show him an ounce of pity?➡️ ➡️Do you tighten the closeness of his lead?➡️ ➡️Hhhh.➡️
Sylink is truly the most evil person on this site. Getting everyone free drinks.
➡️I am so excited.➡️ ➡️The only thing more chained than the unreleased hoofbeasts will be➡️ ➡️No➡️ ➡️I shan't say.➡️
.png)
mister best pls give me mony
◌ I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That is all there is to say about that. ⧂
I need more alcohol and cigarettes. #substances
Starting Tolight, Right Now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID WE EVER CALL THEM THAT??
When Did We Start Calling Bulges " Slugs "? #nsfw #nsfc #iwillbeparticipatingimmediately
hmm im alone, at least for right now
they let me keep my palmhusk while i’m w/)rking please f/)r the l/)ve /)f everything if y/)u are g/)ing t/) make /)ut in a dark hallway please remember that these walls are thin as fuck i d/) n/)t want t/) hear that shit /)n my lunch break. i can’t even cl/)ck /)ut until like 4 m/)re h/)urs fml #nsfw?
they say boombap increases your fertility rate #dsflow #nsfw
.png)
ō͡≡o..èàrlièr Todày An Employèè Sàid "my Apoloçhèèsè" To Mè On Aççidènt, Now I Càn't Stop Giggling About It.
Ok★y I got bored of the p★nc★ke g★me ★fter my cre★tion (The Blue) went uncherished by the populous
<action; statement input; statement: i hate it when that happens input; statement: fucking assho|e gave me an order then contradicted himse|f input; statement: then changed his mind input; statement: triggered the inattention correction coding for not comp|eting fast enough & disobedience correction for not obeying #vio|ence input; statement: & now my pan & musc|es ache from aftermath input; statement: fucker. />
☤t’s been rather q⛎︎☤et ☤n the Complacency for some t☤me. ☤t’s a welcome change.
" WELL WELL WELL PWINCESS " IS NOW THE ONLY THING IM GOING TO THINK WHEN I SEE DOC SCRATCH
GUYS ITS FINE ITS LITERALLY FINE SHES A PLANTGIRL CATGIRL PRINCESS & ITS FINE WE R NORMAL ABT THAT FACT RIGHT???????????
Remedying my need for physical affection with cheap booze and cigarettes yet again #substance #suggestive
decIded to do some cleanIng uP around my hIve but ended uP standIng aImlessly In the mIddle of the room monologuIng to myself In my head so I got nothIng done..
#mysoup
IS THIS WHY OTHER SPECIES RAISE THEIR KIDS? IS THIS WHAT I’VE BEEN MISSING? OH MAN THIS IS TOO FUCKIN’ GOOD.
Decided to retake my office after a period of thought. I refussse to be another'sss agent, and I've made missstakesss. But I aim to correct them.
Ɏ honestly the only difference i see between bein culled aand bein employed is you get paaid for one Ɏ
theyre dOING nasty things to to that PuPPet #magic1978 -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
NEVER MIND I NEED TO EMBARRASS MY GRANDDAUGHTER IN FRONT OF HER GIRLFRIEND NOW.
(\ /) ...i don't. i don't like that.
eelmao hes sooo easy
Can't have anything on this 8itch of an Earth. ::::/
I Need Some Volunteers To Give Me At Least 4 Ounces Of Their Blood If Anyone Wishes To Help Me With This
WELL, I’M PROBABLY SAFE TO POST NOW WITHOUT RISK OF EMBARASSING MYSELF NOW THAT MY FUCKING QUOTA IS COMPLETE I GUESS.
computer disengage safety protocols im fucking this bot till the wires are popping out of her head like wilson #dsflow #nsfw #gore
┻❂━❂┻ Sometimes When I Look In The Mirror I Can Pretend For A Moment That It Is His Face Looking Back At Me. →
Oh god. https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUyMm1oemhlYWt1aDF2cnR0d3E2eTcyZXZmMHU4ZDhhb3c2b3ZpdW1hOCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/11ykUODgXjAXZu/200w.gif
beetle juice. more like. beetle goop.
Giving Do★n wh★t I like to c★ll "The Blue" https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6cfb1bd9d492.png
are you the helpmeet or not? so help me, meat.
:> I would love to sl^y ^ big ^qu^tic be^st. But. Then wh^t would I do with ^ll th^t me^t? Give it ^w^y, I guess. If it w^s something edible th^t I knew would t^ste decent. Then ^g^in, wh^lef^lls ARE vit^l to deepse^ ecosystems. <:
hacking up gunk. again.
Ha ha! Take that, Wordle! Wordle 1,803 2/6 🟨🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DDD8<
STOP BEING MEAN TO CORKY STOP IT -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
I HAVE NOT BEEN ON CHITTR DOT ING TODAY. I’M GOING TO GO TO SLEEP NOW. GOODLIGHT. #SLEEPANNOUNCEMENT
1’ll r3p347 17 w17h 4n 4dju57m3n7. H3ll0 70 3v3ry Kurl0z 3xc3p7 7h47 0n3 5p3c1f1c 0n3.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
you purple fetxsh havxn bxtches are wexrd. x lxke em cause they're chxll (down to fuck shxt up wxth me) and funny as shxt.
yo, you KNOW ya boy loves a good beach ep... gunna get my tan on }:) not sure about the water though... hate gett1n my w1ngs wet, haha...
I'\/\/e been told that I need one 0' these. Alright. Ye may ask me \/\/\/\/hat ye \/\/\/\/ant. #ama I'll ans\/\/\/\/er anythin'. https://d0cs.g0ogle.com/f0rms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfIItDh07DdyMMSrFXe\/\/8JBNcN0oz0I\/\/\/\/AigZ\/\/\/\/r4bXyhsASnk\/\/\/\//\/\/ie\/\/\/\/f0rm?usp=publish-edit0r
▲getting interrupted from chittr posting for a wipe delayed my girlfailure orgy▼ ▼which if i heard myself say two perigrees ago i would have beat the shit out of myself▲ ▲But yeah, happening this Saturday instead i guess▼ #nsfw
well i'm awake. was Chan6in6 my mind on this beaCh thin6, then saw some 6uy on the timeline whinin6 about people aCtin6 a fool 'n' enCoura6in6 a purple to 6o solely to Cull folks so aCtually i think i made the ri6ht Call the first time.
What is this about a beach party I presume like most events here it is an open invitation
The Uesugi Karkat Historical Preservation Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to researching and preserving all records, artifacts, cultural relics, woodblock prints, romantic poetry, and erotic wall scrolls belonging or related to the Pre-East Alternian Restoration era figure Uesugi Karkat. Founded in late 20XX many sweeps after the Restoration, it was determined that this historical figure warranted further inquiry when a lacquerware hair de-wrangler once belonging to the enigmatic figure during his courtesan era was scanned using material dating technology. The scan revealed a hollow interior to the de-wrangler which, when split open, contained instructions in both archaic East Alternian and the modern-day parlance on how to find and log into the Chittr account formerly belonging to the user @carbolicGalvanologist. This has led to a dramatic re-examination of his possible origins, one which has stirred controversy among Alternia's foremost scholars. This account endeavors to offer an authentic and evidence-based chronicle of the life of Uesugi Karkat from his mysterious appearance in the Troll Edo period to his death at the Battle of Fearoyama, rejecting the insufficiently substantiated and formally unrecognized theory of time travel as of this moment in the Foundation's deliberation process. Chitts will be posted from this account related to the numerous and varied arcs of this esoteric, hemoanonymous leader of the Pre-Restoration era. The Head Curator has decided that all information hereafter will be displayed in a quirkless format for legibility. DMs are for historical inquiry only. #uesugikarkat
HOW MANY KEG$ AND HOW MUCH TROLL BLOW DOE$ THI$ BEACH PARTY NEED? VA$PRI'$ GOT THE FUND$.
꒦꒷ MY HANDSOME FACE! its too handsome for the internet HANDSOME MEN ARE jealous of me BECAUSE THEY CAN'T BE ME!!! THEYRE JEALOUS I HAVE THE SLIME AND THEY DON'T!!!!
♤ Staying Hive Tonight After... Yesterday. ♤
the urge to post a selfie before I post the beach one later
Wroothe. Woolfie. I doon't have all night. Get the fuck IN the ring. Let's handle this the blueblooood way if yoou insist oon strength oof oour indigoo boond
꒦꒷ DISSAPOINTING DISSAPOINTED DISS AND POINTED
ask from @slopMaster! says "NOTHING IS UP! do you like slop? TELL ME YOU DO!" i uh! i dont know what that is! sorry!! BT
#plug
This is the skin of a killer, Chittr I'm not a rainbow drinker btw.
...yeah, i'll stay home. all that last ni6ht took it outta me 'n' i'm pretty sure i a6itated my ankle doin6 it.
nO ONE HAS EVEN ASKED, wHY i PUT AWAY MY, #mYePICbALL,,,,,,,
.png)
i think being... walked in on is hot .. //>.•// #nsfw...
this is it if anyone was curious https://i.imgur.com/jy34ne9.jpeg
The Mareep Stuffed Beast Will Be Attending With Me In Its Own Little Outfit. #positive
Now That I Have Acquired My Bikini Im In The Right Dress Code For The Beach I Might Stay A Little Or More I Dont Know Guess Ill Just Find Out When Im There
?Well it certainly won't light itself will it? [;F
I L◎VE ⟁ g◎◎d w⟁ge sl⟁ve! They ⟁re ⟁ll◎wed t◎ h⟁ve 5 extr⟁ minutes ◎n their bre⟁k if they m⟁ke me h⟁ppy.
fuck y/)u ritchy keldam
d/) y/)u believe this statement
hhhnghhhnnn being forced to hhhnold youhhrself apart so thhhney can fuhhck youhh hhhnhhhngnn hhhnearing thhhnem order youhh to keep youhhr hhhnands righhhnt thhhnere as thhhney force thhhnemselves in and ouhht of youhhr pathhhnetic hhhnole hhhnhhhnggnn #nsfw
◌ That comment thread is still going. ⧂
JU$T HEARD MY BO$$/$IBLING GO "NAUGHTY EMPLOYEE$ GET $HOT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD" UNDER THEIR BREATH. #$HOULDIBEWORRIED