𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗔𝗧 ♋︎ 𝗩𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗦.
@cG
EVERYONE'S A FUCKING CRITIC. I'M JUST PARTICULARLY BETTER AT IT. HE / IT | SINGLE | KARKAT DNI.
HELD OUT LONG ENOUGH WITHOUT GIVING IN TO THE WIDESPREAD SOCIAL-MEDIA SLOP VIRUS THAT'S INFECTED EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN, AND WILL PROBABLY INFECT MOST OF THE PEOPLE I'LL EVER MEET IN THE FUTURE, INTO DOWNLOADING THIS PIECE OF SHIT APP. UNFORTUNATELY, IF I HAVE TO SCROLL PAST ONE MORE UNSOLICITED PICTURE OF SOME PERVERT'S BARELY CONCEALED BULGE OR AN AI-GENERATED VIDEO OF ANIMALS DOING RACIST HUMAN CARICATURES ON FINSTAGRAM, I WILL PERSONALLY PAY A VISIT TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS AND HAVE THEIR CORPORATE OFFICE LOOKING LIKE THE LAST ACT OF FUCKING “BRAINDEAD”. SO, I'M HERE. AND I'M FAR FROM FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT IT. BUT, IN THE INTEREST OF TRYING NOT TO BE SUCH A CONFLICT-DRIVEN, TERMINALLY AGITATED CUNT-ASS ALL THE TIME, I'M GOING TO EXTEND THE OLIVE BRANCH AND LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT IF YOU'RE NOT AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK, DON'T BE AFRAID TO INTERACT. - KK
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPORT AN ACCOUNT BEFORE WHATEVER HALF-ASSED MODERATION PROGRAM HELD TOGETHER BY HOPES, DREAMS, AND OOK-BEAST-SOURCED COMPUTER CODING FINALLY GETS AROUND TO ERASING THE OFFENDING ACCOUNT FROM EXISTENCE? I'VE BEEN MAKING A CONSCIENTIOUS EFFORT TO PURGE MY TIMELINE OF PEOPLE I CAN ALREADY DEDUCE ARE GOING TO PISS ME OFF BEFORE I'VE EVEN HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF INTERACTING WITH THEM, AND YET I'M SEEING A WHOLE LOT OF FUCKING NOTHING BEING DONE TO ACCOMMODATE MY EFFORTS. — KK
8=l < You're clogging the system with your nonsense
FUCK YOU. — KK
ii don't liike that you took an extra 2econd to make the tag accurate. #2topthat #captor2ontop.
CREATIVITY IS ONE OF THOSE FUNDAMENTAL ASPECTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL THAT CAPTORS, AS A LINEAGE, HAVE HAD VIOLENTLY EXCISED FROM THEIR GENETIC MAKEUP, ONLY TO HAVE IT REPLACED WITH SOME MAJORLY SHITTI-FIED FACSIMILE THAT MASQUERADES AS INGENUITY. WHEN, IN REALITY, IT'S JUST SELF-DEPRECATION THAT'S BEEN LEFT TO ROT UNTIL IT DEVELOPS INTO BLATANT, UNADULTERATED IGNORANCE. AND WHERE IGNORANCE THRIVES, BLISS IS SURE TO FOLLOW, BLAH TO FUCKING BLAH, TO FUCKING BLAH, TO FUCKING BLAH. THAT BLISS, IN TURN, FUELS THE PISS-POOR BRAND OF HUMOR THAT CAPTORS SOMEHOW MANAGE TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT TO EVER GRACE PARADOX SPACE. SO I REITERATE. 'TSTOPTHESLOP
SORRY K4RK4T, 1 KNOW YOU DON'T F1ND H1S S4RC4ST1C 4ND D34DP4N 4TT1TUD3 4ND HUMOR FUNNY BUT 1 TH1NK 1T'S CH4RM1NG.. L1K3 HOW 1 TH1NK TH3 W4Y YOU 3XPL41N 4ND T4LK SH1T 4BOUT OTH3RS 4MUS3S M3. >:]
okay you're good ii'll admiit that. 2hake2 prong2.
IF I WEREN'T SO FUCKING PREOCCUPIED WITH MY CAPTOR-INDUCED AGITATION, I'D HAVE YOU REDUCED TO A FINE TEAL MIST FOR THAT REMARK. NOT BECAUSE YOU SAID ANYTHING WRONG. BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYING AS SHIT WHEN YOU TRY TO COMPLIMENT ME.
H4H4H4!! W3LL! G3T US3D TO M3 B31NG 4NNOY1NG B3C4US3 1'M GO1NG TO COMPL1M3NT TH3 SH1T OUT OF YOU 3V3RYT1M3 YOU CR34T1V3LY SH1T T4LK SOM3ON3. >:] BW4H4H4H4!!!
DESTROYING YOU. JUST DESTROYING YOU. UTTERLY, EVEN. COMPLETELY.
H4H4H4! GOOD LUCK! 1'M B3H1ND 200 PROX13S.
MY TIMELINE IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE INCOHERENT WITH EACH INSTANCE OF ME LOGGING ON, AND I'M HONESTLY NOT QUITE SURE IF THAT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES OR IF I'M EXPECTED TO SOMEHOW UN-FUCK WHATEVER THE FUCK IS UP. IT'S KIND OF DEPRESSING HOW BAD IT'S GOTTEN. THIS SOCIAL MEDIA SHIT IS WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE. — KK
I SINCERELY DO MISS HAVING A MATTRESS THAT DIDN’T SPEND EVERY FUCKING NIGHT TRYING TO CONVINCE ME I’D BEEN TRANSPORTED BACK TO MY SCHOOLFEED DAYS, ONLY TO GET BEATEN HALF TO DEATH BY A COUPLE OF SNOT-NOSED MIDBLOOD TORMENTORS WHO NEED TO USE ME AS AN EMOTIONAL OUTLET FOR THE FACT THAT THEIR LUSII PROBABLY DON’T LOVE THEM AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE DEAD IN A FEW WIPES FOR FAILING BASIC ARITHMETIC, BEFORE FINALLY BEAMING ME BACK INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK THE SECOND I DECIDE TO WAKE UP. I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST BURN THIS FUCKING THING AND INVEST IN A NEW ONE ALREADY, BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR OR LIE DOWN ON THE GODDAMNED LOUNGE PLANK, AND SOMEHOW BOTH OF THOSE SOUND LIKE SLIGHTLY MORE CRUEL ALTERNATIVES. WOE IS ME, I GUESS. MORNING. — KK
mornin karkat
Buy a new 0ne and give the 0ld 0ne t0 me
MAN, I'M FUCKING BORED. — KK
B33 < lmeow valid B33 < i can chat fur a bit if you want but ive got a movie date late
NO SHOT? THAT’S NICE, DUDE. WHO’S THE DATE? UNLESS YOU’RE JUST GOING BY YOURSELF AND CALLING IT THAT TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. NOT THAT I’M CASTING DOUBT ON YOUR ABILITY TO PULL, I MEAN. I’D PROBABLY DO THE EXACT SAME THING. WHICH IS EMBARRASSING AS HELL TO ADMIT, BUT IN THE INTEREST OF CONVERSATIONAL SAVES, I’M WILLING TO RISK THE HUMILIATION THIS TIME.
BX33 < jinx and our jade! B33 < its not explicitly a <3s date but im still counting it lmeow B33 < also nah thats fair youre valid
WAIT. SERIOUSLY?? WHAT THE FUCK! GODDAMMIT, NOW I JUST SOUND LIKE A FUCKING JERKOFF FOR TELLING HER TO GO SCRATCH. IF SHE BRINGS ME UP AS A SOURCE OF THEATER GOSSIP, YOU CAN TELL HER I’M POSTPONING HER DESTRUCTION UNTIL AFTER YOU GUYS HAVE HAD YOUR FIRST HORRORMOON. UNLESS YOU’VE ALREADY HAD IT. IN WHICH CASE, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. I TRIED TO BE A GOOD NEMESIS ABOUT IT. SUCKS TO SUCK.
BX33 < this was the post i spilled on btw B33 < fate killed the purr in my late ig
B33 < awwww thats furry sw33t of you! B33 < anyways glhf with the destruction
it isn't a date! jade's there! if you wanna come i could probably pull you along. assuming you haven't seen coyote vs acme yet? also hi deva said to come back.
I MEAN, YEAH. I COULD PROBABLY CONNECT THE DOTS AND FIGURE OUT JADE’S TAGALONG STATUS IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE. STILL, MY POINT STANDS. ALSO, AS MUCH AS I WOULD’VE HATED TO LOOK OFF TO THE SIDE AND STAMMER OUT IN ANIME BEFORE RELUCTANTLY ACCEPTING THE INVITATION, I DID ACTUALLY END UP FINDING SOMETHING ELSE TO DO, SO I’LL HAVE TO PASS ON THE FOURTH-WHEELING. THAT SAID, I’VE HEARD RELATIVELY GREAT REVIEWS ABOUT THE MOVIE, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. IF I MANAGE TO CATCH IT SOMETIME SOON, I’LL HARASS YOU FOR A WHILE ABOUT IT AND DEMAND SOME CINEMA TALK. THANKS, THOUGH.
okay! have fun with whatever you do buddy! :D
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7ce9a2ed5c82.jpeg
... UH. THAT WAS MEANT TO STAY IN THE DRAFTS. — KK
B33 < hey man good job trying to work out your f33lings on your own terms B// < sorry efurrynyan kinda started dogpiling you about it
ARE YOU KIDDING? I FUCKING DESERVED TO GET DOGPILED. I’M OUT HERE USING NEW-AGE SLOP TERMINOLOGY TO CALL MYSELF A CHUMP. HONESTLY, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE STILL HERE. GO BACK TO THAT POST AND BERATE ME PROPERLY. I’LL PROBABLY FEEL BETTER FOR IT.
BX33 < well now i dont wanna B33c < use mew age technology to tell me what youre up to
MY CAPACITY FOR BEING SUCH A MASSIVE FUCKING CHUD ON OCCASION GENUINELY UPSETS ME. I DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. WHY THE FUCK IS IT SECOND NATURE? DID THE POWERS THAT BE REALLY NOT CONSIDER THAT I COULD’VE JUST BEEN AN ASSHOLE AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, A LITTLE BIT COOL WHILE I WAS AT IT? A NONCHALANT ASSHOLE. SOMEONE WITH A LITTLE FUCKING SWAGGER. THAT COULD’VE BEEN ME. BUT NO. INSTEAD, I’M AN ASSHOLE *AND* A CHUD TO BOOT. GOD, I FUCKING SUCK. — KK
LOL. it’s ok, karkat. consider it your plan b if denying it doesn’t appearify your chud likeness away. like, they’ll be waiting with OPEN arms!!
Get well s00n! ✌️
umm!! don’t! i’ll feel totes obligated to comfort you and i am really bad at doing that soooo. you’re not a chud, problem solved. :)
i would tell you to take a breather but i think wanting to take more breathers and be less reactive is kinda the point of your post. so instead of telling you to do the thing you already planned on like someone telling their kid to take out the trash, i instead will say: good evening! or morning depending!
I FELT THE INHERENT URGE TO IMMEDIATELY GO AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT AND FREAK THE FUCK OUT ON YOU, IF ONLY OUT OF SPITE AT THE IDEA OF FOLLOWING MY OWN ADVICE WHEN IT’S COMING FROM THE PERSON I’VE CONSISTENTLY BEEFED WITH OVER THE PROS AND CONS OF WORRYING ABOUT DUMB SHIT. BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT DOING SO WOULD CONSTITUTE MULTILAYERED CHUD BEHAVIOR, AND SOMEHOW THAT ALONE WAS ENOUGH TO COMPLETELY WAKE ME THE FUCK UP TO THE REALITY OF WHAT I WAS DOING. ALL THAT TO SAY: MORNING, EGBERT.
if it helps karkat? i've genuinely been struggling a lot with intense negative reactions to things based entirely off of assumption lately! so like. i get it and i hope you know i'm not making fun!!! have you had breakfast?
FOR FUCK’S SAKE. I HATE IT WHEN YOU GET ALL UNIRONICALLY HUMAN FEELSY ABOUT SHIT YOU SHOULD BE MORE THAN EAGER TO RELENTLESSLY MOCK SOMEONE FOR. YOU WOULD’VE MADE SUCH A SHIT TROLL. FOR CLARIFICATION’S SAKE, I’M /J-ING. OR /HJ-ING. I’M /SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. I’VE EATEN, BUT I THINK I’M JUST FEELING OUT THE USUAL EARLY-DAY STRESS JITTERS BEFORE I GO BACK TO NOT BEING A PATHETIC LOSER FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. I’LL BE FINE.
i save my mockery for worthy targets, dude. like that weirdo scratch or the real chud of chittr, lord english. if you want me to make fun of you, suck more.
y0, braintrust, being all self-pitying is making your l0ser asshole energy W0RSE. i hate when you get like this. if y0u can't muster any confidence, at least fake it.
i AM, bOSS,
I'M UP. EVEN IF I VERY CLEARLY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION OF BEING UP THIS FUCKING EARLY, THE EARLY CORPSEFOWL GETS THE CARCASS, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THE SAYING IS, SO I’M GOING TO LOCK THE FUCK IN REGARDLESS AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. SO SHOULD MOST OF YOU. SOME OF YOU ARE WORKING THE MORNING SHIFT AND ARE STILL RUNNING FUCKING LATE. SHAME ON YOU, YOU LAZY, INCONSIDERATE LAME-ASSES. NIGHT SHIFT DIDN’T GET STUCK DEALING WITH YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT JUST FOR YOU TO TURN AROUND AND NOT HAVE YOUR OWN SHIT HANDLED ON TIME. GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR. FUCK YOU. AND DIE. — KK
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A BRIEF, BEAUTIFUL MOMENT WHERE I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS CAPABLE OF GLEANING SOME VAGUE ATTEMPT AT MEANING FROM THIS COMMENT, UNTIL I RUBBED THE CRUST OUT OF MY GLOBELIDS. AND SOMEHOW, IN THE PROCESS, WHATEVER MEASLY CONCEPT OF UNDERSTANDING I’D MANAGED TO SCRAPE TOGETHER GOT SWEPT AWAY RIGHT ALONG WITH IT.
:33 < So motivational!
likely* fuck me god damn i shouldnt have even chot that
Hmmm, No, I Do Not Want To Get Up. A Curse Upon You That Turns Your Marrow To Lead.
ABOUT AS WELL AS COULD BE EXPECTED, WHICH IS TO SAY, NOT PARTICULARLY WELL, CONSIDERING I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY EXPECTED MUCH OF ANYTHING IN THAT REGARD. SO I DON’T THINK IT’LL BE TOO DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE JUST HOW WELL THAT WENT FOR ME. BUT I DIDN’T WAKE UP IN A COLD SWEAT OR FLAT-OUT PASS AWAY IN MY SLEEP, SO I’M COUNTING THAT AS A CAUTIOUS WIN FOR THE DAY. HOPE YOU’VE BEEN ALRIGHT, JADE. TRY NOT TO OVERDO IT ON THE SCALDING BEAN JUICE.
THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF IRRESPONSIBLE DOUCHEBAGS OUT THERE WHO APPARENTLY CAN’T HELP BUT CHOOSE INCOMPETENCY THE SECOND THEY HAVE THEIR FIRST FUNCTIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY, AND IF I CAN’T EVEN WRANGLE THOSE ASSHOLES INTO SOME SEMBLANCE OF SUBMISSION, I CAN’T EXACTLY EXPECT MYSELF TO WRANGLE ANY OF THE OTHER, MORE FAMILIAR DOUCHEBAGS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IN REAL LIFE. YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THEM, OBVIOUSLY, BUT YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO THE FUCK I’M TALKING ABOUT. BUT, LIKE. THANKS. AND MORNING, NEPETA.
I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER ENCOUNTERED A VERB TENSE APPLIED TO A WORD THAT I’VE HATED SO VISCERALLY THE SECOND IT ENTERED MY FUCKING VOCABULARY AS “CHOT.” FUCK YOU. YOU’VE RUINED MY BREAKFAST.
its a gift i know
I’M UTILIZING EVERY SINGLE FIBER OF MY VERY ANIMA TO REVERSE THE CURSE YOU’VE JUST INFLICTED UPON ME, AND I’M ABOUT TO BE CASTING MY OWN COUNTERSPELL OF POINTING OFF TO THE SIDE AND GOING, “WHAT’S THAT?” BEFORE I KICK YOU DIRECTLY IN THE FUCKING SHAMEGLOBES FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY TO DRAG THE ARCANE INTO A SATURDAY MORNING SLUGFEST. WAKE UP, MOTHER FUCKER!
im not giggling at your lack of well rest but it is funny how many hoops you jumped through to communicate that to me. anyway!! i hope the rest of the day is better for you :) ive been doing a lot better than before!! so thats a big win for me i think. i make no promises on my coffee intake but ill do my best for you ok?
I KNOW SHOWING VULNERABILITY TO ANYONE OVER THE INTERNET IS BASICALLY DIGITAL SUICIDE 101, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND PRETEND LIKE I HAVE ANY ACTUAL EXPERIENCE WITH MAINTAINING A NOTABLE INTERNET PRESENCE. SO, ON ACCOUNT OF NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK I’M SUPPOSED TO BE POSTING, IF ANYONE’S GOT THOUGHTS THEY FEEL LIKE THROWING AT A RANDOM STRANGER, THEN HIT ME WITH THEM OR SOMETHING. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN GET BANGERS ON THIS WEBSITE? WHAT THE HELL EVEN IS A KULTSCORE?? I’M TRYING TO MEET PEOPLE, NOT RUN A FUCKING POPULARITY CONTEST. — KK
Wh0ring y0urself 0ut already, karkat?
this is so sad guy doesnt even have kult smh
I OUTGREW THE POINT IN MY DEVELOPMENT AS A PERSON WHERE I’D HAVE BEEN SORELY TEMPTED TO SHOW A LITTLE ANKLE TO THE FROTHING MASSES JUST TO GET THEM TO THROW SOME CASH MY WAY. IF I WANT TO BE A FUCKED-UP PERVERT, I’LL DO THAT IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HIVE. NICE TRY, THOUGH. IF YOU BEG FOR IT SOME MORE, YOU MIGHT JUST GET THE E-BOY KARKAT OF YOUR DAYMARES TO FINALLY SHOW UP AT THE FOOT OF YOUR DIRECT MESSAGING LIST.
I kn0w full well h0w much y0u enj0y being a fucked up little pervert. Y0u're slready in my dms #nsfw
YOU GET SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CHOPPED EVERY TIME I END UP COMING ACROSS ONE OF THESE ALTERNATE SELVES OF YOURS. IS THAT A BYPRODUCT OF SOME WEIRD PARADOXICAL BULLSHIT I DON'T GET, OR ARE YOU PURPOSELY MAKING YOURSELF LOOK LIKE SHIT JUST TO SPITE ME? IF SO, FUCK YOU, MAN.
what do you even mean chopped
GUY GETS CALLED OUT FOR SUFFERING FROM EARLY-ONSET GENETIC BURNOUT *ONCE* AND HE'S GOB-SMACKED. SHAKING MY HORNS, DUDE. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK I MEANT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU'RE SCARING WHAT FEW OF THE HOES HAVEN'T ALREADY LEFT FROM HAVING TO WATCH YOU FALL THE FUCK OFF IN REAL TIME.
damn dude dont get your panties in a twist i was kidding guy gets dunked on ONCE and he has to bring the hoes into it for backup
I think y0u can handle me pretty well
IS THERE ANYONE ON THIS HELLSITE WHO COULD POINT ME TOWARD ANY RECIPES THAT HAVE MANAGED TO SURVIVE FROM THE OLD ALTERNIAN HERBIVOROUS MEAL PLANS? I KEEP DIGGING THROUGH HUMAN VEGETARIAN SHIT, BUT IT’S GENUINELY BAFFLING HOW LIMITED AND UNREMARKABLE SO MANY OF THESE PLATES LOOK. I’M SURE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO FIND GREAT SPIRITUAL MEANING IN A BOWL OF LEAFY GREEN NOTHINGNESS, BUT I’D RATHER NOT SERVE SOMEONE I ACTUALLY LIKE A MEAL THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ASSEMBLED DURING A FOOD SHORTAGE. — KK
B33 < @arcadianCatnip @gallowsCounselor yall got anything fur this guy B33 < my meowmories are a lil too jumbled to know whats nyactual altpurrnian cooking and whats a half remembpurred episode of 30 minute meals i watched while waiting fur cake boss to come on
OOH Y34H 1 H4V3 4 F3W!
HELD OUT LONG ENOUGH WITHOUT GIVING IN TO THE WIDESPREAD SOCIAL-MEDIA SLOP VIRUS THAT'S INFECTED EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN, AND WILL PROBABLY INFECT MOST OF THE PEOPLE I'LL EVER MEET IN THE FUTURE, INTO DOWNLOADING THIS PIECE OF SHIT APP. UNFORTUNATELY, IF I HAVE TO SCROLL PAST ONE MORE UNSOLICITED PICTURE OF SOME PERVERT'S BARELY CONCEALED BULGE OR AN AI-GENERATED VIDEO OF ANIMALS DOING RACIST HUMAN CARICATURES ON FINSTAGRAM, I WILL PERSONALLY PAY A VISIT TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS AND HAVE THEIR CORPORATE OFFICE LOOKING LIKE THE LAST ACT OF FUCKING “BRAINDEAD”. SO, I'M HERE. AND I'M FAR FROM FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT IT. BUT, IN THE INTEREST OF TRYING NOT TO BE SUCH A CONFLICT-DRIVEN, TERMINALLY AGITATED CUNT-ASS ALL THE TIME, I'M GOING TO EXTEND THE OLIVE BRANCH AND LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT IF YOU'RE NOT AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK, DON'T BE AFRAID TO INTERACT. - KK
THEN I WILL RESPOND IN KIND BY TEARING THAT OLIVE BRANCH BACK OUT OF THE MISERABLE FRONDS OF WHATEVER SLACK-JAWED FUNNY GUY DECIDED IT WAS THEIR CIVIC DUTY TO SPIT IN MY GANDER GLOBE AND SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF MY HAND WITHOUT THINKING IT THROUGH IN THE FIRST PLACE AND SHOVING THAT GODDAMN BRANCH SO FAR UP THEIR WASTE CHUTE THAT THEY'LL HAVE BROADLEAF EVERGREENS DISPLACED ALL ACROSS THEIR FUCKING INTESTINAL LINING.
Ha! Oh, That Is A Good One. I Cannot Wait To Watch, Popped Kernels In Prong, As You Are Bombarded With The Absolute Most Infuriating " People " This Site Has To Offer. If The Stress Aneurysm Does Not Take You First, Of Course. #positive
TENTATIVELY APPROVED AS A 'REAL KARKAT' UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
YOU'RE THE FUCKER I WAS ARGUING WITH IN THAT GROUP CHAT THE OTHER DAY, AREN'T YOU? KIND OF INSANE THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHITTR BEFOREHAND BUT HEY, HERE WE ARE, FACE TO FACE ONCE AGAIN. YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I AGREE WITH A LOT OF YOUR INTRO POST AND I'M COOKING DINNER SO I WON'T GO IN ON YOU THIS TIME FOR LACK OF TIME AND ENERGY. BUT WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS BASTARD. THE WATCHFUL EYE OF KARKAT VANTAS NEVER FUCKING RESTS.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'VE MAYBE GOTTEN FOUR CHITS IN BEFORE MY ACID REFLUX STARTED KICKING MY ASS, AND WHILE I'M NOT ABOUT TO ADMONISH YOU ON MAIN FOR REASONS WE'RE BOTH MORE THAN INTIMATELY AWARE OF, I NEED YOU TO VISUALIZE ME SHAKING MY NUG AT YOU WITH INCREASING DISAPPROVAL WHILE I STAND THERE WITH MY ARMS CROSSED OVER MY CHEST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE. AND ONE OF THESE NIGHTS, I'M GOING TO POP A PAINKILLER AND READ THROUGH YOUR ENTIRE PAGE JUST SO I CAN TAKE YOU APART WITH THE COLD, METHODICAL THOROUGHNESS OF A WRIGGLER SHOWING SIGNS OF EARLY-ONSET PSYCHOSIS AS THEY PULL THE LEGS OFF A SPIDER.
aw y0ud d0 that f0r me? psych0analise me with0ut need f0r y0ur special payment? thats s0 sweet 0f y0u
WHY IS THIS YOUR FIRST SHOT AT ENTERING MY MENTIONS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I LIVE ANYWHERE REMOTELY CLOSE TO A BEACH. UNLESS THIS IS JUST A BOBERT PHYLUM JOKE, IN WHICH CASE, GO HIVE NEPETA. SHOO. GO ON. SCRAM.
wsg kk.
hello there karkat! <3 for what its worth i have been saying your last name slant-rhymes with cuntass for a bit now :P
:33 < meow meow :33 < cant it be both?