Purp Dave
@grapevineGodhead
hey im dave strider, dont ask why im purple someone probably kicked a rock somewhere in a fucked up timeline where you eat dinner for breakfast and piss out of your ass anyways im 21
(( bro the urge to make another dave to add to the pile is strong, i will say though he was supposed to be the first one i made sooo.. ))
(( perhaps i will... if you see a possible new orange fella floatin around at some point, that might be me teehee ))
jarvis, obliterate anyone who makes fun of my embed fail https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/fa85e24deb47.png
i don't wanna hear it from you dawg, youre smooth as shit down there no dick and balls to see #nsfw
man you dont know that but anyways dont make fun of my ken doll ass im doing my best #nsfw
jarvis, show me everyones dick and balls #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4943a5d0468e.png
good morning fellow purp fans, i hope everyone is having an awesomesauce day or night
sooooo what did i miss guys??
If anyones been wondering, here's a picture of my cock #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9be372b32513.png
uhhh instructions unclear I put the forks and fish in the microwave, the house is now on fire https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c58a89c5aaa9.png
dont be disappointed in me john, atleast it's not my house right
i'm not disappointed or anything dave. i just... remembered about my dad's house.
oh shoot uhhh idk what youre going on about but that sounds like some heavy shit, im sorry man
it got bombed. it's fine, i just... it was all i had left of my dad, y'know?
like i said, it's fine. not a big deal. really doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.
whats up chittr its your favorite and most hated purple dave todays subject, how many forks can i fit in the microwave before it explodes
amazing insight, thank you man do you think if i put enough forks in the microwave with a fish that when it explodes, it cooks the fish??? or do you think it will just look like a dried up pile of dogshit on the sidewalk on a sunny day
make sure you get that shit on film im talking high fidelity 8k in 4d i wanna be able to feel the sparks FLY
can someone give a fire savory food recipe thats easy to make, im starving out here
lowkey just had a thought, it would be so nice if were on my turntables and an alpha dave was behind me, guiding me through making my next beat only for his hands to start to drift else where and tells me to continue #nsfw #selfcest #hornyposting
i dont think any troll will be me the time of time man, i'm gonna be honest with ya and to be honest i dont blame them but thank you for the advice
lil bro just had a fucking stroke and said "i'll live probably"
check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons penthouse, roof top, birds i feedin no deceiving, nothing up my sleeve, no teasin i need you to get up up on the dance floor, give that man what he askin for cause i feel like bustin loose and i feel like touching you #nsfw #lyricsposting
listening to hot in here isn't helping right now but lowkey this shit is so alpha dave, shout out to the uncs out there #nsfw ish
the urge to keep #hornyposting but i'm holding myself back right now for everyone elses sanity #nsfw
am i cooked for wanting a version of myself to bend me over right now #nsfw #drunkposting #selfcest #selflove #masturbation if so, forget i posted this and pretend i'm still cool asf thank you
see its like kinda hot in some kinda #selflove way right like damn thats me im makin out with
bonus points if its an older version of me, i like a man with experience #nsfw
oh word on that i love fucking older mes. older men are also just hotter imo #nsfw
well i think only one person showed up to the party, i spilt alcohol everywhere and i'm not even wasted just tipsy fml this cheap ass alcohol man feeling like a middle aged business man who got back from a hard day of work with no wife or kids nursing on cheap alcohol in the shower, clothes on no party no people no good alcohol and no dick to suck #nsfw
theres fucking alcohol everywhere
i swear to god, at this point i will suck mad dick or bulge for anyone who steps through my door to get wasted with me at my party it will be like pornhub up in this bitch, i will get on my knees and everything just for one fucker to show up #desperate #stillcoolthough #nsfw
this shit is just killing me man, no one wants to hang out at a sick ass party i guess also #trust that shit is mostly satire but if someone asks i mean
so far, no one has showed up to my party this is fucking lame
Dxn't wxrry lean Dave. Sxmexne (prxbably anxther Dave) will eventvally shxw vp.
i could use some more me up in the function ngl also you're the first to make a lean joke, congratulations dude
fuck it, i'm giving people my address to come over for a sick ass party i have booze and all the snacks in the world for everyone to snack on and get wasted in the process, i promise there's actual real food and not grape flavored shit just please don't break my shit and haters are not invited, also please do not fuck in my room thanks #party #nsfw #alcohol
Now that you said not to fuck in your room, they're going to.
if i catch people fucking in my room or can see the evidence of it, someone or multiple is getting called out and jumped by me personally that's just not cool dawg
Oh. I don't think they SHOULD do it, to be clear. Absolutely terrible behavior. But people are very contrary.
getting back on track with a brighter note though, i just made a fucking delicious sick ass grilled cheese with 3 whole different cheeses and grilled to a mouth watering golden perfection and of course, can't forget a nice cold glass of grape juice the best shit on this planet #treatingmyself
grilled cheese with fucking grape juice what are you four years old.