Tagora Gorjek
@taxCollector
Contact me for legal advising, representation, comments, queries, or concerns. Fees and standard rates may apply.
It’s always “Tagora, you have a problem” and never “Tagora, thank you for turning the light on and off nine to twelve times to prevent me from being culled. It probably felt really good and I’m SO grateful that you saved my life.”
and yet people have the gall to apologize to mmmme on your behalf.
Completed my promised perigeely audit of Tyzias’s search history. Why does she even bother to come into work. https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_2043.jpeg
(„• ᴗ •„) It's the thought that counts!
btwwww there is an online mmmmug store wwwwith a perigee mmmmugbox and i'mmmm looking forwwwward to mmmmy first one. 25% off your first four perigees wwwwith mmmmy code #KYS
i prommmmise this mmmmakes you commmme off as a wwwwell adjusted individual.
On the night you can’t remember which site you found your very important academic source on, you’ll be grateful for my neat and easy directory.
It seems counterproductive to post the outfit one plans on wearing to an anonymous event, so just be assured that I will “have that shit on.” *____ - 50 Swear jar + 50 Return of swear jar (direct quote clause)
How many times can one troll look up “watch inuyasha DUB ON/Y on/ine no virus /EGA/?” I’m printing copies of Tegiri’s search history and it takes up at least four pages.
can i get a copy this sOUnds funny as fuck
I usually don’t go handing these things out willy-nilly, but they are quite humorous this wipe. Hits like “gurren /agann a// nodachi fights compi/ation” and “how to /earn kamehameha.” I’ll forward some to you. + 50 Sharing of evidence fee + 500 Security deposit to be refunded as long as you don’t make fun of him TOO much
you've just legit got nothing better to do, huh. send the files
mmmmake sure to include the repeated jhermmmma vods queries. every last one of themmmm
Just realized my hive is 1/4” bigger on the inside than on the outside but I have a job so IDRC about that right now.
I’m not going to another teal rager for at least five business perigees. At some point I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was 24 hours later and I was in the middle of a courtblock actively giving a closing argument.
i am not teal but may i come as my matesprites plus one to t+e next
Well, it isn’t a *preferable* situation to be in. And yet I know I will be doing it again.
This drink is tasting like walking directly into traffic without looking both ways to pedestrian flex and cause a five-buggy pileup. #WatchThisSpace
The club blew up. #ItsTimeToBeReal https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_1853.jpeg
I had to get out of the club. I was in there saying things like “perchance” and “thrice.”
fuck y𖤉u c⟢nt spring perch⟢nce ⟢nd thrice 𖤉ut in the club n𖤉 n𖤉tice
m¡ght as well throw a 'hark' ¡n there too next t¡me
Oh my god. Finals wipe is finally OVER.
@tallyKissing You and me. The club. Expeditiously.
Congratulations. Out of respect for this accomplishment I will stay my hand away from the hate reaction for this chit. I sincerely hope you enjoy 'the club' and have no ulterior hope that you make any sort of fool of yourself there. Please have fun.
And for the record, I still hang out with Tyzias for much the same reason. Anyone else would have already culled her by now, and then who would copyedit for me? And, of course, she’s still under that NDA from when we were four.
https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_898EC8A4A531-1.jpeg
Going out for drinks with my professoradicator. Planning on just straight up Griima Wormtongue-ing it. Yes, my liege, you *do* deserve a raise. Similar to how my most annoying classmate deserves to be used as bounty hunting practice, if you think about it.
Tegiri won’t stop walking around the office saying things like “tch” and “yare yare.” I’m gonna throw up.
I hate having to compile a works cited. My source is me. Just trust me.
Ridiculous creature finally stops biting me to retire to her ridiculous comfort slab. #BeastIsSated https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_1255.jpeg
#yourbeast #wholesome
MY 3GGMOM N3V3R D1D 4NYTH1NG L1K3 TH4T TO M3!
One imagines being an egg had something to do with it. *____
You’d be surprised. She can get downright tyrannical when she puts her mind to it.
She gets so annoyed when she thinks I’ve started slacking off. #BackToTheGrindset https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_1800.png
okay 8ut have you considered, she IS cute...may8e she's right
$he I$ Biting You @nd Biting You @nd Biting You @nd Biting You
This is the exact problem. She is extremely cute, so she gets whatever she wants.
Now Im@gine If $he W@$ Big Enough To Dr@g You B@ck To Work 7ike @ Kit #fm7
As a younger troll I often complained that she couldn’t carry me around anymore after I pupated. However, this concept has made me feel awash with gratitude. Good luck to you. *____
It H@$ It'$ Up$ @nd Down$ Cert@in7y! He C@n M@ke Him$e7f @ Nui$@nce By Phy$ic@77y Di$rupting Me, But He I$ @7$o Big Enough I C@n $nugg7e Into Hi$ Den With Him If I $o Choo$e. Pro$ @nd Con$
For some unknowable reason, if you get ~four hours of sleep and stare at a screen for the entire night without moving, you will start to feel awesome by seven o’clock. Has anyone else tried this. *____
I feel maternal for her. https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_1768.jpeg
You mean that you feel compelled to send her to war? - MC Oleana
Yes. I know that she’d come back daintily cleaning off the blood of her slain enemies. *____
They’re saying 5’1” is the new 6’2”. #True
SIDEBAR! i was going to be snippy back & we'd have one of our great battles for the ages but i'm genuinely too amused by the image you've conjured of nameless, judgemental people using a measuring blade on anyone they see who looks just over 5' just to double check they're 5'1 & not 5'2, because 5'2 (5'3 with the horns) is just too much
This is literally what happens every time I walk outside.
ADDENDUM! of course, that's why you had to stop wearing platforms. in this society where you're supposed to be exactly 5'1 or the faceless, nameless strangers judge you harshly, trying to look taller is impossibly gauche. & let it never be said Tagora "Gor-Gor" Gorjek is gauche
ADDENDUM! which is why my stilts are impossibly cool & counter-culture & haute-couture in a bold, daring way for going against the norm
Well, now that you mention it, I suppose a couple of inches provided at the heel never hurt anybody. I’ll pass this information along to the nameless enforcers. *____
CONFER WITH CO-COUNSEL! tell the nameless enforcers i said hello, won't you? it's been too long since i've seen them
If you're tagging your own chitt #True, then it must be. - MC Oleana