Clemti Vaspri

My temples are beginning to develop divots from the frequen€y in whi€h I have to rub them in resigned despair at my worthless subordinates. €an a €hiropra€tor even help with this? It's pra€ti€ally the employed version of headphone dent.

Kult: +20

Kull: +10

Total: 30

Ratio: 2.00

Lik£, ill h£lp. HAHA.

Kult: +2

Total: 2

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

If you believe a skill is useful, add it to your €V. On another note, I believe I €ould arrange a meeting between us tomorrow, 19:00. Don't disappoint.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

When your money makes you money, what's the well-to-do to do?

Kult: +22

Kull: +7

Total: 29

Ratio: 3.14

New intern started today. I saw them and flin€hed - maybe we should start pronoun €ir€les for new hires...

Kult: +16

Kull: +5

Total: 21

Ratio: 3.20

It's always "Bulge, bulge, bulge" with you people. Never "Job".

Kult: +109

Kull: +87

Total: 196

Ratio: 1.25

↩ @markZucc[MZ]

Larkso Eldran

@aspiringPessimist[AP]

You're So " Real ", Zuzu.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @aspiringPessimist[AP]

Zuccia Caziln

@markZucc[MZ]

| hve noth|n else 2 b lArks|ee bb 💯

Kult: +5

Total: 5

<action; statement input; statement: my job is a constant very |itera| agony that i cannot escape input; statement: i wou|d much rather think about bu|ge than the ship using my pan as a comm& centre />

↩ @fatallyForever[FF]

€learly your employer isn't working you hard enough if you €an still think of bulge on the €lo€k. Would you like me to get in tou€h with them?

Kull: +5

Total: 5

<action; statement input; statement: i don't have much panspace that is a||otted for me to use for my own thoughts input; statement: my superiors don't seem to care if i think about bu|ge with said panspace as |ong as i obey swift|y input; statement: which i do because i have correction coding that forces my attention to any who require it & punishes me if i take too |ong to fu|fi|| [#vio|ence]. the window is very short. />

#violence

↩ @fatallyForever[FF]

Are all goldbloods able to be programmed like this?

Kull: +5

Total: 5

<action; statement input; statement: he|mstro||s/pi|otbatteries can be programmed |ike this input; statement: regu|ar go|db|oods cannot. />

↩ @fatallyForever[FF]

Interesting. Thank you for this information, it'll €ome in useful, I'm sure.

<action; statement input; statement: i did not want to give you that information. input; statement: but you're we|come. i suppose. />

Kult: +2

Total: 2

▬ ¥ou can also do both if ¥ou have the will and vigor ᝰ

Kult: +2

Total: 2

Just wat€hed "Wherein a €on€upis€ently Repressed Legisla€erator Hires a Re€ently Institutionalised Lowblood Assistant; She €ondu€ts Several Instan€es of Self-Mutilation; He Loses Fo€us and Begins a €onsensual Workpla€e Relationship; They Bond Over Appropriate €orporal Punishment for an Inadequate Employee, in €onjun€tion with Budding Flushed Feelings; One Instan€e of Bondage Similar to the Signless' Restraints; One Instan€e of Hoofbeastplay; €ontinued Instan€es of Impa€t Play Surrounding Sitbulbs; Four Instan€es of Self-Pailing, One Being Onto Another Troll; an Ex-Matesprit is Introdu€ed and Promptly Fridged, Sin€e the Lowblood Has Outgrown His Lukewarm €oupling; She is Fired Be€ause of The Legisla€erator's Fear of His Feelings; Ending With a La€k of a Wedding, Prolonged Waiting, One Instan€e of Involuntary Waste Disposal, and a Final Red €oupling on an Indoor Lawn Ring." on my Head of TR's re€ommendation. It was satisfa€tory. #nsfw

#nsfw

Kult: +109

Kull: +72

Total: 181

Ratio: 1.51

Lik£, any id£as at all?? Lik£, HAHA.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

I've learnt that there are €ertainly better ways we €ould be €ondu€ting ourselves around the offi€e.

Kult: +15

Total: 15

Lik£, HAH. Lik£, go on? Lik£ do t£ll. Lik£, OMG.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

Some employees €ould €ertainly stand to be more obedient, for one. I think I need a stronger weapon bound to my strife spe€ibus. Look into that for me, won't you?

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Lik£

Kult: +2

Total: 2

Lik£ HAHA

Kult: +2

Total: 2

B*ck*t C*mj*r, The Enduring

Lik£, Y£AH

Kult: +2

Total: 2

#smash #bucketsmashorpass #suggestive

@terribleFate[TF]

#smash #suggestive #bucketsmashorpass

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @terribleFate[TF]

Who is the Felt employing these days? Thank you, though.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

B*ck*t C*mj*r, The Enduring

@terribleFate[TF]

Eh. Whoever makes them laugh i think.

Kult: +2

Kull: +5

Total: 7

Ratio: 0.40

It's pride month, @asanineTemptation. You know what that means.

@asanineTemptation

Kult: +19

Kull: +7

Total: 26

Ratio: 2.71

LOUIZZ VA$PRI

@asanineTemptation[AT]

HUH? WHAT? DO YOU WANT U$ TO DEVELOP LIKE, GAY PLANET$? WHAT??

Kult: +5

Kull: +7

Total: 12

Ratio: 0.71

€ongratulations on the "Pride Month" to every human who feels the need to €elebrate. Understand that €lemti & €o. Planetary Development will seize, raze and repopulate your planet regardless of it or your sexuality. #Equality

#equality

Kult: +44

Kull: +24

Total: 68

Ratio: 1.83

▬ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so trueeeeee ᝰ

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Lik£, WOW. Lik£, so totally lik£, aw£som£!!! ;]

Kull: +2

Total: 2

Please feel free to use the "homosexual" queue when lining up to relinquish your possessions to the Empire. It will move qui€ker, and €ost only a few Boondollars more.

Kult: +15

Total: 15

@ardourCorvidae @infelicitousFreak

Issue #715 of "Alternia's Greatest", the magazine show€asing the best of Alternian work ethi€, has given a front-page feature to two valuable heads of department at €lemti & €o. Planetary Development. €ongratulations, @ardour€orvidae @infeli€itousFreak I hope the rest of the €ompany €an follow in your lead. https://file.garden/aReFoSMd7€6GgbtB/pRETTY_tROLOLMIZER.png

Kult: +164

Kull: +94

Total: 258

Ratio: 1.74

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

▬ ur look is sooo cute !!!! ᝰ

Kult: +10

Total: 10

Neeiht Megane

@gachikoisChic[GC]

｢gyyuuuuhhhhh~ *drools* vkei-chan~~ so kawaiiii!!!! nuzzling this sashin!(´ 3｀) mwahmwahmwah.｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: sashin means kyutiegraph!!]

Kult: +9

Kull: +2

Total: 11

Ratio: 4.50

Phuntr Guynax

@consequentlyOblique[CO]

i think there'S a number of people that would say otherwise. i mean, i have more chittr clout than both these people combined. even if they do look cool as hell.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @infelicitousFreak[IF]

;] <3

Kult: +10

Total: 10

↩ @gachikoisChic[GC]

Boost this post's engagement just a little more, or I'm blo€king you.

Kult: +5

Kull: +2

Total: 7

Ratio: 2.50

↩ @gachikoisChic[GC]

Lik£, LOL. Lik£, I s£ll lik£, ch£ki!;P <3 lik£, sign£d and kiss£d with lik£, lipstick on if you lik£, pay £xtra, lik£, LOL!

Kult: +15

Total: 15

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

Neeiht Megane

@gachikoisChic[GC]

｢megane-san will pay any kakaku.｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: kakaku means pl.......... money. (-зo)-☆]

Kult: +7

Total: 7

↩ @gachikoisChic[GC]

Pleasure doing business with you.

Kult: +15

Total: 15

TRYCKS TREATS

@glitteringAcuity[GA]

READING ONTO THE RECORD! omg @ardourCorvidae im so proud!!!!! you made it!!

@ardourCorvidae

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @glitteringAcuity[GA]

Lik£, I know right? Lik£, pinch m£, lik£ OMFG!!!

Kult: +7

Total: 7

All I'm saying is that my employees are s€reened for li€e twi€e a day during the de€ontamination portion of the €lo€king-in-and-out pro€ess. They are purged from the €ompany if they are found to be harbouring any.

Kult: +44

Kull: +25

Total: 69

Ratio: 1.76

Lik£, LOL! Lik£, so totally tru£!! <3

Kult: +5

Kull: +2

Total: 7

Ratio: 2.50

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

This message is endorsed by the TR Head themself.

Kult: +10

Total: 10

▬ was such an unexpected experience on m¥ first da¥ here HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA but i'm totes down w it ᝰ

Kult: +10

Total: 10

↩ @infelicitousFreak[IF]

This pra€ti€e is endorsed by the €ustomer Servi€e Head herself.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Freakout over. Still fu€k troll Imgur, of €ourse. But I've had my most tolerable s€ream€urity engineer working on it for 74 hours straight and she's €reated me a top VPN.

Kult: +49

Kull: +30

Total: 79

Ratio: 1.63

pEtroA ApocAp

@spiritualMotorist[SM]

oh hey I'vE hEArd AboUt yOU

↩ @spiritualMotorist[SM]

Oh? Via Troll Linkedin, or Troll Indeed?

pEtroA ApocAp

@spiritualMotorist[SM]

vIA my buddy cOrvoE. i dUnnO what thOsE ArE.

↩ @spiritualMotorist[SM]

€learly. I'm surprised my Head of TR is asso€iating with those so below them, but it's not like it's my job to poli€e who they talk to. If you're looking for a position in something only mildly humiliating, it's good to have €onta€ts like Fusili.

pEtroA ApocAp

@spiritualMotorist[SM]

i rEAlly do not lIkE yOUr AttitudE god damn. yEAh, uh, i don't nEEd a job, thanks. thEy'rE just cOOl as fuck to kick it with and i fIgurEd yOU might be sImilAr?? was dEfinitEly wrong thOUgh.

↩ @spiritualMotorist[SM]

I prefer to keep things professional.

Just be€ause I dropped off the fa€e of the planet for a €ouple of perigrees does not mean that any €ontra€ts have been invalidated. I have teams of soli€iterrorists that €over my business while I'm out of offi€e. I look forward to €ontinued perfe€t partnerships.

Kult: +17

Kull: +5

Total: 22

Ratio: 3.40

I am this €lose to funding the €ulling of anyone who hosts their images using that €urmudgeonly troll Imgur. I €an't see shit.

Kult: +44

Kull: +15

Total: 59

Ratio: 2.93

Aretxi Again

@harehideLupine[HL]

Agreed.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

For €ontext, the €hief Exe€ution Offi€er of troll Imgur pissed off the Online €ensor A€t enfor€ers in my se€tor, and the whole system got IP banned. Nothing but a garish rust-€oloured glaze where your presumably dreadful images are €learly supposed to linger.

I'm working to influen€e it's return, but I hate to admit the pro€ess is not looking promising.

This meeting €ould've been a publi€ €ulling.

Kult: +32

Total: 32

Kindly keep your shirts on, you barkbeasts. Not all of us desire to see your €hesti€les.

Kult: +60

Kull: +45

Total: 105

Ratio: 1.33

ERGONOMIC CLAIRE

@zealousWeaponsmith[ZW]

ᐖ ᐖATS A U PROBLEM TBH #FREEᐖANIPPEL ᐛ

#freedanippel

Kult: +5

Kull: +5

Total: 10

Ratio: 1.00

Lik£, OMFG! Lik£, so tru£! Lik£, I would n£v£r lik£, totally show too much skin lik£, £v£r, lik£, OMFG!!!!!

Kult: +7

Total: 7

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

€learly. And that's why you're head of HR.

Kult: +10

Total: 10

LOUIZZ VA$PRI

@asanineTemptation[AT]

MIDDLE FINGER EMOJI.

Kult: +10

Total: 10

↩ @asanineTemptation[AT]

Lazaro Bugati

@ceaselessTomfoolery[CT]

kid named emoji:

Kult: +10

Kull: +5

Total: 15

Ratio: 2.00

Lik£, OMFG! Lik£, I know! LOL<3

Kult: +2

Total: 2

↩ @ceaselessTomfoolery[CT]

Lik£, kid nam£d lik£, middl£?

Kult: +10

Kull: +5

Total: 15

Ratio: 2.00

Vinnik Amyeri

@incendiaryRapscallion[IR]

no!

Kult: +5

Total: 5

#whatthatmean #businesstip

Head of HR said they wanted my "#BusinessTip". #WhatThatMean

Kult: +48

Kull: +16

Total: 64

Ratio: 3.00

#dreamcrushing #businesstips

My employees have re€ently taken to bursting into "I've Got a Dream" from troll Tangled at inopportune times (literally whenever). How do I get them to stop doing this and fo€us on work? #BusinessTips #Dream€rushing

Kult: +50

Kull: +45

Total: 95

Ratio: 1.11

Jade English

@gardenGesellschaft[GG]

give them PTO and workers comp i literally have more money than i could reasonably spend and im actively trying

Kult: +5

Kull: +5

Total: 10

Ratio: 1.00

↩ @gardenGesellschaft[GG]

Oh, absolutely out of the question. I'd take some of your money off of your paws in ex€hange for giving them one (1) hour off, however.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Jade English

@gardenGesellschaft[GG]

no instead all of your employees now work for me that's what you get for being a prissy bitch :)

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Venera Shinen

@positivelyElated[PE]

i+ IS f0cus!! high m0rale and mul+i+asking r s0 gud

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @gardenGesellschaft[GG]

I €an always get new ones. #OverIt

#overit

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @positivelyElated[PE]

Not when they're meowbeasterwauling where I €an *hear* them. Maybe I should just invest in better soundproofing.

Venera Shinen

@positivelyElated[PE]

u shud pr0duc+ivi+y g0es up up up when empl0yees r happy s+udies sh0w!!

↩ @positivelyElated[PE]

I *do* like produ€tivity...

I hear #EridanWeek will be *the* go-to event for networking this sweep. #Im€oming

#imcoming #eridanweek

Kult: +10

Total: 10

New profile pi€ture. Feeling: Professional. https://file.garden/aReFoSMd7€6GgbtB/Untitled1284_20260329231246.png

Kult: +92

Kull: +52

Total: 144

Ratio: 1.77

HAH. Lik£ um. Can I com£ to your offic£? Hah. OMG.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

€redit to my photographer/personal assistant/head of HR, €orvoe. @ardour€orvidae

@ardourCorvidae

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Wh£r£ ar£ th£ lik£, offic£ print£rs. Hah.

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

Floor below yours. Go nuts.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Lik£, unr£lat£d. So unr£lat£d.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @ardourCorvidae[AC]

I'm sure.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

WROTHE AIARAY

@gratuitousAnnuity[GA]

↗️INCREDIBLE BOSS.↗️ ↘️i am so honored to be in the digital presence of a true physically capable superior that is also somehow my social inferior.↘️

↩ @gratuitousAnnuity[GA]

Thank you, miserable employee #26819

WROTHE AIARAY

@gratuitousAnnuity[GA]

↗️I AM ACTUALLY QUITE HAPPY AND ALSO EAGER.↗️

Kult: +2

Total: 2

↩ @gratuitousAnnuity[GA]